December 9: Tantrums, sickness, lack of sleep X FOUR

December 9, 2011 by Leave a Comment

Happy Friday! Today is a “stay-at-home” day with me and the Twins. It has been a bit of a rough day so far…

Highlights of the Morning and Early Afternoon:

  • I woke up a big hungover to three kids in my bed – Red, and the Twins. What was absolutely adorable was Red was reading to each of them.

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  • Big Bro put on a t-shirt and shorts. Mind you, it’s 37 degrees outside. I pleaded with him to think about the cold outside and think about pants. The problem is that it does actually warm up during the day, and he is very hot-blooded. So my pleading went ignored – but I left it up to him to make his own decision.
  • Everyone was a bit cranky this morning. The Twins both are sick. Sneezing and big red rashes all over the place. Roseola? Not sure. But they are cranky and clingy. Big Bro is whining about everything. Red starts her whining when it came to her socks. By the time we were on her jacket, she was in full-fledged tantrum. I think the Twins’ bad moods for being sick kindof rubbed off on the older two who maybe didn’t get enough sleep last night. Anyway, all four of them were not very enjoyable this morning. Or, maybe was it the wine I drank last night??!?!?!?
  • Big Bro scootered to school while I strollered the Twins. We were extremely late. By the time we got there he was the last one in but at least we caught up with the group. He then runs outside to me in tears because he forgot his library book. I said I would go back and get it. I looked into his eyes and he looked terrible. I’m putting these kids to bed early tonight.
  • On the stroller ride home with the Twins, I took it slow. We talked about things that we saw. I miss this with them. When Big Bro and later Red were small and we were living in the city, I would stroller them to daycare which was in my office building. So at that time, I had the opportunity to talk about so many things with them – it was city living so there was just a lot to look at and teach. Water fountains, big buildings, lights (and counting the lights), going into building lobbies and talking about the holiday decorations, pointing out the flags, etc. Now with the Twins, we commute primarily by mini-van. On days that I stroll with them, particularly on Thursday and Fridays when we are coming back home, I really want to take it slow with them. I feel like I have a lot of catching up to do with these two. We talked about the crows and how they fly away and how big their wings are. We saw two dogs playing so we pulled over to watch them play and we talked about how funny it is to see dogs and how they play and wrestle and run around in circles. We talked about the holiday decorations that we saw. Twin Husky initiated conversation about the playground and the slides. Twin Husky is still pointing out all of the basketball nets. We talked about the busier road and how cars drive fast on that road. We talked about flowers and spent some time looking at them. I talked with them the whole way home and felt better that I am doing more now to teach them about the world around them.

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  • I started looking for Big Bro’s library book and found it. I threw 2 diapers and a small package of wipes in my handbag. Also two little cars to keep the kids entertained. I’m taking them out to breakfast! I went to drop off the book, and Big Bro’s class was not there – so I left a present for him….

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  • Then we headed out for breakfast. I parked and decided NOT to stroller them, but to walk the two blocks. The kids had a great time and Twin Crazy almost looked proud to be walking with me, holding my hand, and crossing the street like a big girl. While at breakfast, our table was close to all of these holiday decorations and the board underneath a HUGE penguin kept getting pushed in by Twin Husky, therefore leading the penguin to almost coming crashing down on us twice. He is such a boy. He needs to touch everything. The penguin incident happened TWO times so he didn’t even learn from the first time. We had a good breakfast nonetheless, and the twins had lots of fun things to look at in this greasy spoon of a diner.

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  • Once we got back I had to care for sick twins. Both were extremely cranky. I had snot to deal with, red skin to deal with, sore noses to deal with, and medicine to give. It took about 15 minutes for the caregiving to kick in and after that they were much more pleasant.
  • We headed upstairs and I read them books. I love how they get so excited over the books. They each run for a book for me to read. Sometimes I read to them, and sometimes they read picture books to me. They love it. They love turning the pages. They love making the sounds that animals make. They love talking with me about what they see on the page. Once I say that the books are done and its time for their nap, they don’t even fight it. They welcome it. I kiss them and they grab hold of their stuffed animals and blankets and begin to doze.
  • They’re down for a nap now and I am getting some things done around the house. I enjoy this quiet time where I can focus on things that I normally would not be able to. The sun is out and I’m feeling good. The twins are quiet so it seems like they are busy sleeping.

      • The Rest of the Day:

    • The twins both woke up in foul moods. Twin Crazy was having a hard time sleeping the entire time because of her stuffed up nose. They’re both sick and struggling. I packed them up, picked up Big Bro, and headed out to a friends house who had a HUGE hand-me-down dollhouse and lots of hand-me-down clothes for all of the kids.
    • The dollhouse was bigger than expected. I thought I’d be able to slip it in the back and cover it up quickly before Big Bro would see it, that way it could be from Santa. No such luck. This thing was HUGE. Four feet tall, at least. I think 4 floors. It wouldn’t fit in the trunk of the mini-van. I tried over and over to shove it in. Of course Big Bro saw it. So I tried to get one of the seats to fold under to give more room. It was stuck. Me and Big Bro were trying to figure it out. He noticed that his car seat was in the way. I eventually got it. Both of us were excited and proud. What a team!!! The thing took up a big part of the van on the way home. Too funny.

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    • Hubby picked up Red while I cooked dinner; Flat Meat with chicken and I did a marinade with mango jelly and basil. Big Bro was throwing tantrums left and right. He was really, really difficult to deal with tonight. The dinner was very good. The kids ate well but it took them awhile to get started — again, their crankiness was a bit too much to bear. I started to drink a Guinness..
    • After dinner we brought out the dollhouse and Big Bro, Red, and Twin Crazy had fun cleaning it. The three of them seem really excited about it. I would have loved it if I had it when I was a kid. Maybe Santa can get Red some proper dolls to play with it, and maybe some more furniture.

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    • There were huge tantrums tonight with the older kids about graham crackers, going to the potty, etc. I just think that both of them were way too tired.

      • So, today was great in that we have all of this new “loot” in the house – clothes, dollhouse, etc. But honestly ALL of the kids were so hard today. All the result of too little sleep and being sick. I really need for Big Bro to nap this weekend. And I hope the kids sleep in a bit tomorrow. Because I know I’ll be moving slowly…

      Have a great weekend everyone –
      Til next week –
      – Mama K

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      December 8: All day keeping me on my toes…

      December 8, 2011 by Leave a Comment

      Today was a bit of a strange day. I am normally off from work on Thursdays. But when I started my “new” work arrangement with my company, one of their conditions was that I would/could be flexible if push came to shove, particularly supporting client projects. So of course I granted them that wish. After all, this is management consulting, and flexibility to meet your client need is an absolute minimum requirement for the job. So, I worked today since I had a client meeting scheduled for today.

      But, Hubby had a meeting at 7:45 AM, and I had a conference call at 8:30 AM, which complicated things a bit… I would be on my own for all drop offs and we also had to leave earlier so I could be back in time for my conference call….

      Highlights of the Morning and Commute:

    • Older kids were up and excited to get dressed by themselves, since their piles were already out and they were looking for positive reinforcement. Big Bro was excited to wear a new spiderman shirt I got him yesterday.

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    • We were talking about the need for everyone to be ready to leave early, and for Big Bro to have his backpack ready (as an example). The next thing we knew, Twin Husky came walking into the kitchen dragging Big Bro’s backpack and using all of his body strength to lift it up and hand it over to Big Bro to help. That was just so cute I couldn’t stand it.
    • Honestly, the rest of the morning was a bit of a blur. I can’t think of anything else that stood out…there were the diaper changes, the lunches to pack, the shoes to put on, the jackets to put on, loading the kids in the car…..
    • I did all the drop offs; Red first, then Twins, then Big Bro. I made it back home with 10 minutes to spare to prepare for my conference call. I re-filled my coffee mug and booted up my computer.

      • Highlights of My Working Day:

    • I had the conference call and got some good feedback from one of the participants of the forum that we are trying to sell a membership to. He liked the forum but their business may not be big enough to be relevant for the group. I would not take “no” for an answer so I invited him again as a guest for the next meeting in April in hopes that he wants to become a member.
    • I jumped in the van, and drove into the city. I was starved. I was contemplating a McDonald’s run, but feared I would be late. This was a good call, since there was traffic on the highway. So I blasted loud music and enjoyed my drive into the city, yes, with a minivan. uggh.
    • I made it to the office just in time to shove some graham crackers in my mouth and then start at 10 AM conference call with a Director and another new member to one of our forums. I lead the meeting and focused more on how this particular person could help us drive additional members. I’m in sales mode. He has contacts at great companies and he is really easy to collaborate with – I’m enjoying working with him to build this forum and grow it to something much bigger than it currently is….
    • I grabbed lunch. Grilled cheese. Comfort food. I’m starved and it is cold outside.
    • We then had our client meeting. We’ve done good work for them, but this is a kind of project where you just want to shake some sense into your client. Their business idea doesn’t make sense given the risk and reward and they are very naive about some obvious aspects of the business. So I’m hoping things go well with them, but we’ve raised the issues so we’ve done what we can do to provide our advice.
    • I did some admin items afterwards and then headed home. I picked up take out dinner (BBQ) and picked up the Twins.

      • Dinner and Bedtime:

    • Dinner was BBQ. It was delicious. Kids ate well. Twin Husky was eating ribs like they were going out of style and I was calling them “dinosaur bones”. He is such a boy. Almost reminds me of a pint-sized man.

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    • After dinner, Hubby took out a “Santa train” that essentially goes around the Christmas tree. All kids were going nuts. Twin Crazy wanted to dance with me to the Chrismas music. Big Bro was all over the tracks, the trains, and the controls. He was observing everything and figured out why the train wouldn’t work at any given time. He loved controlling the thing. Red was being such a big sister/mother to Twin Husky and to Twin Crazy. It was really too cute to witness. She was instructing them on where to sit (far away from the tracks) and how it works, and hugging them and holding their hands. It really was too much for me to watch. They are so sweet with each other it is almost crazy.

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    • Bedtime with the Twins was great. They grabbed their animals/blankets and walked upstairs, blew kisses to folks below, brushed teeth, read books, sang a song, and willingly went to bed in their cribs.
    • Bedtime for the older ones were a different story. Whining, crying, defiance, more crying, etc. etc. I finally had to leave. I said I would not read books if they did not cooperate. I gave them a chance to cooperate. They did not. So I left. I left Hubby up there dealing with two cranky crazy kids because I want to teach them to understand that I follow through with what I say. If they don’t follow instructions and are defiant even if I’m trying to understand the issue, I warn them what will happen and then I need to follow through. So I left. They’re quiet now so I guess they were just super-tired.

      • I had two glasses of wine tonight. I am not working tomorrow. I may take the Twins to the doctor if they have room in their schedule for us. If not, I want to take them to a museum. I’m sure I’ll figure something out over a big pot of coffee….

      And now Red is screaming upstairs so I guess I’d better go and see what’s wrong…

      Until tomorrow –
      – Mama K

      Filed Under: Daily Journal Tagged With: , , , , , , , ,

      Recipe: Cherry Tomato Croustades

      December 8, 2011 by Leave a Comment

      It’s Thursday — that means you get a quick and easy recipe from Mama K!!!

      Last week my office had a holiday party and we usually do a “cooking” theme where we rent out a cooking school for the evening and prepare our own meal, over lots and lots of wine.   There was one appetizer that I thought was so simply amazing and also soooooooo versitle that it could actually work really well with kids, since you could experiment with different topings that they like.   And, the kids can help make the dish.

      The beauty of it is that it’s a toasted “shell” and you fill it with cheese, and basically anything else that you want.   The recipe below features cherry tomatoes.  I did it over the weekend with cheddar cheese and leftover chicken.    Try it out!  Very easy and very yummy!   Let me know what fillings you would like to try or have tried!!!   Also great as appetizers for entertaining.  Hey, adults have to have fun too.

      Have fun!!

      Ingredients:

      • 12 slices of thin bread
      • 1/2 pint cherry tomatoes, coarsely chopped
      • 3 Tablespoons fresh basil, chopped
      • 1/2 teaspoon coarse salt
      • freshly ground pepper
      • 1/4 cup Gruyère cheese, grated

      Directions:

      Cut rounds from the bread using a 3-inch round cookie cutter (I used a drinking glass).  Fit the rounds into muffin tins, molding them gently to form little cups.  Bake them in the middle of a pre-heated 425 degree oven for 10-12 minutes until golden.  Watch that they do not burn.

      Combine the tomatoes with the basil, salt, and pepper.  Taste for seasoning.  Fill each croustade with 1 teaspoon of the cheese and spread about 1/2 teaspoon of the tomato mixture on top.  Arrange the croustades on a baking dish or baking sheet and bake about 10 minutes.

      Prep time:  15 min

      Cook time:  20 min (10 min for croustade, 10 min to heat filled croustade)

      This recipe was created by Tante Marie’s Cooking School.   http://www.tantemarie.com

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      December 7: Learning more about my kids every day

      December 7, 2011 by Leave a Comment

      I get to work from home today! YEAH!

      Highlights of My Morning and “Commute”:

        • I went into Big Bro’s room to gather clothes, and he was just waking up. He was stretching, saw me, and then said: “Mommy, today is going to be special for TWO reasons.” Me: “Yes sweetie? What are those reasons?” Big Bro: “Today I get to go on a scooter ride to school with you, and later today you are going to pick me up early so we can buy new sneakers.” I just stood there. Speechless. Then I reached over to him and gave him a very gentle good morning kiss on his head. He does not know how happy he made me at that moment, and even now as I type this. I asked him if he likes it now that I get to work from home and also not work everyday and he said yes, he likes it alot. We both agreed that I should have done this alot sooner… 🙂
        • Kids were eating breakfast at the counter again this AM – the only problem is that we only have three bar-stools. Big Bro did not want to kneel on a chair or use a step-stool. So does that mean I have to buy another bar-stool???? Uhhh, yeah, with four kids that require EVERYTHING to be the same, ummm, yes I should probably bite the bullet and get one. UGHHHGHGHHG. Hopefully I can find one that matches the other three.

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        • Red was funny today – she put a stuffed animal under her shirt and said she had a baby in there. It was funny and everyone was poking her belly saying “baby”. Then we realized that it was Big Bro’s stuffed animal in there and then some fights/tantrums started. Ugggh. Can’t a cute moment just STAY a cute moment??@??!?!?
        • I was running around upstairs getting things and running from room to room but all the doors mysteriously were closing on me. Seriously. I’d turn around an the door would be shut. It was like Poltergeist or something. I opened a door and there was Twin Husky laughing at me. So now I guess he knows how to open and close doors.
        • We gathered our things and set out for our scooter ride. Twins were in the stroller. It was cold. We were late. I was hustling. My heart was thumping. Nose running. I am OUT OF SHAPE. Big Bro couldn’t help but scooter through a big pile of leaves when he saw it. So cute.

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        • After Big Bro drop off I strolled the Twins to daycare. Along the way Twin Crazy and Twin Husky each started to look up at me and play peek-a-boo. I wasn’t in a rush so I took my time and played with them. One would look up, and I’d smile and laugh and giggle and tickle their neck and touch their cheek. Each time one would look up, that is the routine I would do. We had a great time walking several blocks like this. Twin Husky is also now fixated at pointing to all of the basketball nets along the way (there are lots in the suburbs).

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        • My commute home was relaxing. The stroller was light so it was less of a workout. I was thinking about work. I was checking work email on my way home. Getting meetings scheduled and checking to see that we were getting content in to include in our client deliverable.

      Highlights of My Working Day:

        • I set up my computer, phones, blanket, coffee, water, and a candle. I made breakfast for myself.
        • I had several conference calls today debriefing from our forums. Again, received great thoughts on how to improve and provide more value to the group.
        • I spent the rest of my 1/2 day working on my client deliverable. It is in really good shape. It went out to the client in the early afternoon. Now we just have the meeting tomorrow.

      The Rest of the Day:

        • I went to Big Bro’s parent-teacher conference. She is wonderful. So much patience and such a sweet disposition with the kids. I like her a lot. She says that Big Bro is the “reliable guy” but could use more help with self-confidence and being able to describe his opinion and thoughts and how he feels and examples of situations from his own life in the classroom. He has a hard time when his “home” world and “school” worlds collide. There was a bit that was a surprise to me but I’m already thinking of ways to work with him on certain things to help him get better at stating his opinion and offering more of himself during conversation. I guess we all have trouble with that but in his case its a bit harder for him compared to his peers. So I left the meeting a bit scarred, and feeling like I needed to protect my little big boy first born.
        • I grabbed him and we went to buy new shoes. During our one-on-one time I took the opportunity to practice “thought” and “feeling” questions with him. We both have some practicing to do. He loves his shoes. I’m glad I was able to spend the time with him and make him happy.

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        • We picked up Red, and Twin Crazy and Twin Husky. All kids were going crazy looking at the holiday lights on all of the houses. We also played a game where we would flubber our lips each time we past a house with lights. All kids were doing this. And me. We had fun.
        • We realized that daycare dressed Twin Husky in a Phillies shirt – the same one that Big Bro was wearing! We laughed that they were twins.

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        • During dinner prep I had the music on loud and was dancing with Twin Crazy while holding her. She loves this. She loves to dance in my arms. She loves me jumping and swaying and spinning. She cracks up. Surprisingly, Big Bro joined us for the dancing in the kitchen. He never really has done this before. It was great! We were really dancing hard in the kitchen and thats when Hubby came in. We calmed down after that and ate dinner.
        • After dinner I did horsie-back rides with all of the kids. They each stayed on the 2nd/3rd step and waited their turn while I went around with a kid. They were loving it. Again, I feel like I’m out of shape.
        • Then bathtime. All kids needed it. Twins went to bed early. Bigger kids followed soon thereafter.

      I had a great day. We got a reasonably good piece of work out to the client for discussion tomorrow. I also had time at home and with the kids to play, dance, and laugh. I also learned a little more about my son. I learned a side to him that does not surprise me after thinking about it, but still upsets me a bit since he is a quiet, empathetic, and sensitive little guy. So I feel for him. And I want to work with him to make it better for him. So today was a good day. I’m learning more about my kids and my family with each passing day.

      Til tomorrow –
      – Mama K

      Filed Under: Daily Journal Tagged With: , , , , , , , ,

      Repost and Poll: Money vs. Quality of time with your kids????

      December 6, 2011 by Leave a Comment

      As some of you may be aware, I have struggled with the notion of “work” and “family” for quite some time now, and have recently made a signficant career transition based upon my energy levels, my happiness, and advice and pleading from many, many people.    I essentially took a 50% cut in hours and pay which also includes some flex-time and the ability to work from home on one of my three working days.   So this has been a monumental change for me and my family:

      • I am happier, less stressed, and able to connect on a more deeper level with my children.  I am able to participate in school events and spend special 1 on 1 time with the kids.  My relationships with my babies have flourished.   I am more effective at work and take my job much more seriously than I have in the past.
      • My kids seem happier, are coming up with ideas for their 1:1 time with Mommy, and hug me harder, longer, and with more intensity.  I feel like I’m being the kind of mother that they need / want me to be.

      But of course this has come at a cost.  A cost that I am willing to make at this point in my life.

      I thought I would redistribute a post/poll that I wrote several months ago when another Mama In Motion was in the middle of her transition.  It just seems right for me to send this out again since I am going through a transition of my own….

      Humor me and please follow the below link to my post, and also respond to the polls within.  If you have already particpated previously, it is possible that you will be unable to answer a second time (sorry).

      http://mamainmotion.com/2011/08/09/random-thought-when-evaluating-new-job-opportunities-would-you-sacrifice-quality-of-time-with-your-kids-for-more-money/

      Thanks so much for following me – have a great day

      Thanks for listening –

      – Mama K

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      December 6: Morning glory, busy afternoon, unknown evening…

      December 6, 2011 by Leave a Comment

      The kids woke up very needy for Mommy this AM since I was not able to see them last night. I took it all in and reveled in it.

      Highlights of the Morning and My Commute:

    • I woke up with Red in the bed. She crawled in, in the middle of the night. I remember A LOT of tossing and turning, so I didn’t sleep well again last night.
    • Big Bro and Red got dressed without a problem. The kids setting out their clothes the night before really seems to help. There are no arguments over clothes and the kids are eager to dress themselves.
    • There was a feather on Red’s leg (pillow?) and I made a joke about “what is THAT doing there? Are you turning into a bird??!??!?” She giggled and Big Bro chuckled.
    • Chocolate Tuesday! All kids were lined up at the kitchen counter. Twin Husky was playing peek-a-boo with his bread. Twin Crazy was double-fisted with spoons, one for each cereal bowl (hers, her brother’s), Big Bro and Red were eagerly eating their chocolate and all were really quiet.

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    • I helped with lunches and Twin Crazy helped me put things away. She loves doing that with me. I pick her up to the cabinets and she helps put the packages of stuff away.
    • Red had some breakdowns this AM over drinking cups, her bread being served to her with the crusts on, food containers in her lunch, her forgetting her lunch box at school, etc. I think this was the affect of her interrupted sleep. I understand how she feels and I told her that.
    • I took Twins and Big Bro while Hubby took Red. Big Bro is looking forward to tomorrow, since I told him we would buy sneakers after his school. His soles are coming apart so he is psyched for that. Another trip to Kohl’s!

      • I’m now on the ferry and I’m actually looking forward to work. Today will be the day where my client deliverable takes close-to-final form. I’m looking forward to that. After procrastinating for so long looking at white pages, now there is actual thinking and content and information to work with and refine. Unfortunately, we will be telling our client something that he does NOT want to hear, so we need to think through the delivery of the presentation since it will be a difficult one to give on Thursday.

      Highlights of My Working Day:

    • I spent the majority of the day working on my client deliverable. There is work that still needs to be done — I will likely work after the kiddos go to bed since tomorrow I have meetings during the day and our client meeting is on Thursday! I must get a draft sent to my Partner for his review TONIGHT or else we will not meet our deadline and will not be as prepared as we should be for the meeting. Ugggh. This means that I know I will have this hanging over my head tonight. I will be with the kids but not “with” them 100% – which I hate. I will be anxious as they get ready for bed and will be thinking of this work. I’ve been here so many times in the past over the past 5.5 years of management consulting with kids. It’s hard. It’s very hard. I want to be 100% connected with them tonight but I know it will be hard if not impossible for me to do.
    • I also wanted to share a picture of our office holiday tree. I am the one responsible for the rubber chicken, binder clips, post it note, and blue “flags” (particularly the ones on the breasts of the rubber chicken). A bit of comedy infused in a busy day always helps.

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      I’m on the ferry now and am solo tonight with the kids. My goal tonight is to be as present as I can possibly be, and not worry about cleanup – rely on the Mother’s Helper as much as I can. I will try not to think about work. I will try to get the kiddos to bed earlier (which benefits them anyway). I will try to get this post out quickly tonight so I can focus on my deliverable and get to sleep by a decent hour. So, I will call it a night from here. You won’t hear from me again until tomorrow.

      Til tomorrow,
      – Mama K

      p.s. at home now making dinner with the kids — having fun, drawing, blogging, and connecting, talking….. so far going GREAT!!!! 🙂

      Filed Under: Daily Journal Tagged With: , , , , , ,

      December 5: A day of Balance!

      December 5, 2011 by 3 Comments

      Another Monday. And it is a cold one. Red woke up screaming in her sleep (nightmare – she never woke up from it) so I did not get a good night’s sleep. I’m headed on the ferry now to work.

      Highlights of the Morning and Commute:

    • I had a race with Big Bro to see who could get dressed first. Big Bro and Red picked out their clothes last night so it was easy for him to pounce on his pile and change. He won.
    • Twin Crazy and Twin Husky started screaming at each other over a roll of wrapping paper. I think Twin Crazy had it first, but I’m not sure. Anyway, I grabbed the paper and put it in the garage to avoid further conflict.
    • Twin Husky has a rash that is progressing across his body. I will call the doctor today and if it does not clear up by Wednesday I might take him in to see her.
    • It is frigid outside but Big Bro insists on wearing shorts and a short sleeve (superhero) shirt. I tried to get him to wear a long sleeved shirt under his spiderman shirt, but he rejected it. The poor kid is going to freeze his ass of this morning – hopefully it warms up in the afternoon.
    • Red was cute climbing from chair to chair today – the floor was “hot lava”
    • Twin Crazy was covered in oatmeal and seemed cranky until I cleaned her off. She is particular with dirt and gets really upset if her hands are dirty.
    • It was a rush to get out this morning; Hubby took Big Bro and Twins, I took Red. Red was clingy but smiling.

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      For work today I have some debrief conference calls and I also want to create a good first draft of the client deliverable. We have a meeting with the client on Thursday so I need to get the first draft done for a detailed review by the Partners. It will be a busy day.

      I’m on the ferry, it is cold outside, and I am tired. And hungry. Maybe I’ll treat myself to a hot breakfast this AM – that way I can fill up and focus on what I need to accomplish for the day.

      Highlights of My Working Day:

    • I led several “debriefing” conference calls related to our forums and we continue to get great feedback and are thinking of ways to change the services and agenda for the forums. So these discussions have not been a waste of time.
    • I also had a good chunk of time to work on the client deliverable for our meeting on Thursday. I have only one meeting scheduled for tomorrow so will have more time to do the finishing touches.
    • Someone brought in a small holiday tree and I promptly began decorating it with office supplies, and a rubber chicken that was handed down to me from a retiring Director several years ago.

      • Work was great today. I like the office environment and people around people, the energy of the rush between meetings, coupled with several hours of “quiet time” where I can devote to getting work done. This was a working day with great balance between meetings and put your head down and work time.

      I’m now waiting for an appointment so will not get to see the kiddos tonight. Well, maybe Big Bro and Red if they are up by the time I get home. I will likely get a beer from an old fishing bar that I love while waiting for the ferry. It will be a Guinness. And I will love it. And will hopefully feel content with my life and how things are going.

      Til tomorrow –
      – Mama K

      Filed Under: Daily Journal Tagged With: , , , , , ,

      Staying Sane: 9 reasons to communicate when something upsets you

      December 4, 2011 by 6 Comments

      Hi Mamas.

      It’s Sunday night and I spend time on these evenings writing about something that I believe helps me to “stay sane”.  However, I am not the best person to follow such advice and certainly am not an expert.  So these are just my thoughts, take them for what they are.

      I spent years biting my tongue over certain situations.   This has not been healthy for me, or my family.  Years later, my stance is that it’s best to face potential conflict and communicate when something is upsetting, regardless of how awkward or difficult it may be, because [please don’t take me too seriously]:

      1. Issues will just fester and cause greater distress
      2. Relationships will become strained, for those directly and indirectly involved
      3. Over time, the littlest things that happen appear and “feel” to be so much bigger than they are
      4. You have too much to worry about with work and with kids — why add another point of stress in your life?
      5. Keeping things bottled up could affect you physically – think zits, furrowed brows, headaches, grimaces
      6. The people/person may not even know that their behavior has upset you
      7. Communicating will provide an opportunity for future situations to change or the behavior to cease
      8. Communicating over some beers/wine is just another great excuse for some cocktails
      9. It is great to embrace situations where difficult communication is required – this provides great practice and can improve your effectiveness and self-confidence at it over time

      So, let me get to what happened this past weekend.  I had a relatively enjoyable weekend.   The kids shined with great behavior but unfortunately there was other behavior happening in my house that I did not like or appreciate.  My in-laws were here for Hubby’s birthday and their visits always bring me an added sense of anxiety.   There has been a tug-of-war happening between them and I ever since the kiddos arrived.   I understand their need to form a bond between themselves and the kids, and I support this – however, not at the expense of the relationship that Hubby and I each have with the kids, our roles as parents, or at the expense of the children’s overall welfare.

      I know that email communication is not the best.  In fact, I think it’s cowardly given this type of situation.  What I would like to do with the audience tonight is preview a [cowardly] email communication that I would like to send to my in-laws.   Please provide feedback because I would like to send it soon before the situation festers too long for me.  Or, maybe I’ll decide not to send it and just the below in black and white will be therapeutic enough for me.   Or, maybe Hubby will step in and lobby on my behalf.
       
       
       
      *****
       
       

      [In law], [In law],

      Thanks for coming this weekend to celebrate [Hubby’s] birthday and also to babysit on Friday night.   I think [Hubby] had a great weekend.   Also thanks for helping with the fence and cleaning – every bit is appreciated!!!

      I would like to get something off of my chest though, in the spirit of open communication.   There were two situations that happened that appear small, however there are things that underlie the following actions that are very upsetting to me.

      • Big Bro informed me on Sunday that during Saturday’s lunch with [in-law], he had something sweet but he wasn’t supposed to tell me.   He said that Daddy knew, but he was specifically asked by [in-law] not to tell Mommy.
      • On Saturday morning I overheard conversations that [in-law] was having with Big Bro, about how both of you were not going to be here for Christmas this year and how you were not sure if Santa was going to come to Big Bro’s house, but that Santa was definitely coming to your house and that maybe Big Bro should come to your place.   Or, you would maybe save Big Bro a present or two from Santa.

      I’ve talked to [hubby] about it and he agrees that this is not appropriate behavior.  First of all, it completely undermines the role of a parent.  Children, particularly young and vulnerable children, should not be taught that it is OK to keep secrets from their parents.   This is just common sense.   We are there to protect them and in fact we are teaching them the exact opposite — that they should always feel comfortable coming to us at any time, with anything that is on their mind.   We are teaching them that there should be no secrets from Daddy or Mommy.   But what is most upsetting is that it puts a very young child — 5 years old!!!! — completely in the middle of any issues that may exist between you and me, which is not acceptable and not OK.   I understand and respect your need to build a bond with the children and I support that — however certainly not at the expense of my role as a parent OR by putting any of our young children in the middle of a confusing and/or tense situation.

      It honestly is not healthy to do this to the children.   If this was done in humor, I would think the humor to be too complex for just a five-year old, and I do not appreciate it.    As a family you need to understand that [Hubby] and I are the parents to these children and people should respect this.  I also hope that you see how putting the children in the middle can create situations that are awkward for them — hopefully you agree that the health of these children should come first.   Having such conversations with the kids to strengthen your bond makes matters worse for us as a family and impedes creating a healthy environment for our children.

      My parents have always respected [Hubby’s] role as father, our roles as parents, and have NEVER said anything to the contrary in front of the children – I would expect the same treatment from you.

      Hopefully with your maturity you will see how this can negatively impact the kids.  I therefore ask that these types of discussions and insinuations with our children stop immediately.

      Thanks so much – if anything is unclear please let me know.  My intent is not to cause a big issue out of this, but my first priority is to my children and if I think they are being harmed or put in an unhealthy, confusing, or un-necessary situation on purpose,  I need to get myself involved.

      [Mama K]

      ******

      So ladies, am I over-reacting?   Should I bite my tongue?   Are these truly just petty comments and am I a victim of Reason # 3, above?   Have these power-plays happened with you in the past and how have you handled them?  

      Even in separation situations, it is common knowledge that you should NEVER put the children in the middle.  This simply is not fair.   And I’ve been hearing comments like the above for years now.    My father in-law starts the power-play with me all the time and his comments are well thought out and purposeful.   He knows what he’s saying and knows what he’s doing.

      Comments please!!!

      Thanks for listening,

      – Mama K

      Filed Under: Staying Sane Tagged With: , , , , , , , , ,

      December 2: A post after my work Holiday party

      December 3, 2011 by 3 Comments

      OK. This may be a strange post. It;s 12 am after my holiday party. I want to wrap up the week;s posts and talk about my day. I am not sober. Foirgive me for any mis-spellings. It was a great day.

    • I walked big bro to school and had the Twins with me. Big Bo was so cute making sure that his scooter was locked up with his bike lock. I love his independence and also his maturity. He looked at me with a smile when he locked the bike lock successfully.

      • 20111203-000123.jpg

    • I spent a good portion of the day straightening up the house and also going through clothes. With four kids, this is always a project. I had the twins with me and they were playing the whole time as I was going through their closet. Twin Husky was being a funny guy and decided to pretend to go “night-night” on one of the shelves with his stuffed animals. So cute.

      • 20111203-000303.jpg

    • Not to be gross, but I caught another “twin moment” today. I was going to the bathroom and had to switch rolls of toilet paper, and this is what the twins started doing… putting their faces on either end and talking to each other and laughing through the tube:

      • 20111203-000427.jpg

    • We then finished unpacking our Holiday decorations, which included all of these fuzzy singing things; they all needed batteries so that was our project. Finding the right tool to undo the screws on the toys and then also replacing the batteries. The Twins were mesmerized. I also took out the holiday carousel and they were talking about the horsies and trying to feed them chedder cheese goldfish crackers.

    • 20111203-000715.jpg

      20111203-000733.jpg

    • We had lunch together. I love this picture of Twin Crazy:

      • 20111203-000825.jpg

    • After naps we picked up Big Bro and Red. I bribed them for a picture all lined up in return for animal crackers. It worked.

      • 20111203-001348.jpg

    • We went shopping for hubby’s birthday. It was really cute all of us going through the parking lot together, going through the store together… they were a bit rambuncious so it was a bit difficult but all in all we did well together and they picked out their gifts for their dad.

      • 20111203-001054.jpg

    • We then went food shopping for cereal. They were so cute. I got stares. They all listen so well. At check out they started to play with candy but I told them that “candy” is not on our list so they would need to put everything back where they found it. Everyone listened. Even Twin Husky. I think the line of people behind me were amazed.

      • 20111203-001254.jpg

      We then got home and played around a bit. I got them dinner and then got ready to leave for my holiday party. I missed them but enjoyed my time away. And yes, I did show pictures of them to my colleagues from my iPhone. Many that I shared with you tonight. I hope I’m not too overwhelming with my attachment to my kids. But what can you do. I am who I am.

      I had a great night and will take some Advil now to prepare for tomorrow.
      Have a great weekend all –
      – Mama K

      Filed Under: Daily Journal Tagged With: , , , , , , , ,

      Recipe: Golden Spinach and Sweet Potato Healthy Saute

      December 1, 2011 by Leave a Comment

      OK.  I’m going to be honest.  I feel like I’m cheating here.  This was NOT submitted by a fellow Mama In Motion, nor is it something I have EVER cooked.  Yes, I clipped it from the internet.   If anybody chooses to make it and it sucks, please let me know so I’ll know NOT to go back to that same source.  I’m also not sure how kid-friendly this is, but I thoughht the sweet potato might tip the kiddos to try it.   There is some spice to this so maybe tone it down a bit to make more kid-friendly.

      This entire recipe is sourced from:

      http://www.whfoods.com/genpage.php?tname=recipe&dbid=186

      Enjoy and if you happen to make it please send me feedback!

      ****

      Golden Spinach and Sweet Potato Healthy Sauté

      Enjoy the combination of spices that gives this spinach and sweet potato dish a unique flavor. Spinach is one of the most nutrient-rich vegetables around and the sweet potatoes add fiber and an extra dose of health-promoting carotenoids to this dish. Enjoy!

      Golden Spinach and Sweet Potato Healthy Sauté Prep and Cook Time: 35 minutesIngredients:

      • 1 medium onion, chopped
      • 4 medium cloves garlic, minced
      • 1 cup + 1 TBS chicken or vegetable broth
      • 1/2 tsp turmeric
      • 1/2 tsp coriander
      • 1/2 tsp cumin
      • 1/4 tsp cardamom
      • 1 TBS fresh lemon juice
      • 2 cups sweet potatoes, peeled and cubed
      • 6 oz frozen spinach, thawed
      • 2 TBS chopped fresh cilantro
      • This salt & pepper to taste

      Directions:

      1. Chop onions and mince garlic and let sit for 5 minutes to bring out their health-promoting benefits.
      2. Heat 1 TBS broth in a large stainless steel skillet. Healthy Sauté onion in broth over medium heat for 5 minutes stirring frequently. Add garlic and continue to sauté for another minute.
      3. Add seasonings and lemon juice and stir to mix thoroughly. Add broth and sweet potatoes. Simmer covered over low heat, stirring occasionally, until sweet potatoes are tender, about 15 minutes. Uncover to allow sauce to thicken and cook another couple minutes.
      4. Press water out of spinach and add to sweet potatoes. Cook uncovered for a few more minutes to allow sauce to thicken. Add cilantro, salt, and pepper.
      Filed Under: Recipes Tagged With: , , , ,
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