2012 May – Mama In Motion™

May 4: Bawling with balloons

May 4, 2012 by Mama K 2 Comments

Today was a day that I should have been elated. My loan FINALLY was “cleared to close” and I was given the green light to put my downpayment in escrow; docs to sign early next week and closing on Wednesday! So now, I am so much closer to becoming a homeowner and providing for my family.

And the kids were ridiculously cute, as usual. Twin Husky and Big Bro stealing icing from the cupcakes, Twin Crazy with her boots, and Red. The almost-birthday-girl. She had a cute Cinqo de Mayo party at her school – we brought in cupcakes and she wore a little crown and her class sang to her. I was there to help her celebrate and her sly little smile was so cute my heart just melted.

But my heart was very, very heavy. Despite the small rays of good that are happening in my life right now.

Financial mediation in a divorce is not pleasant. I didn’t expect it to be pleasant. But I didn’t expect to be sucker-punched today. And I was, big time. I had no idea what was coming. Absolutely none. The ironic part about all of this is that I had/ have had tremendous anxiety WHILE married about our quality of life out here in California and how we weren’t making it even though we owned property…. and then came divorce… and then whatever safety net I THOUGHT I had was ripped away from me today. How can this happen? How can this happen me? I’m a mother to his FOUR children! I suffered a breakdown from working too hard to support OUR family! I’m trying and fighting to create an environment where our kids can have the BEST opportunities that they DESERVE!!! I just don’t understand. I don’t know how this is possible.

So I was bawling for most of the day. So much that the corners of my eyes are red and burning. So much that I was not elated when I was at the Title company handing over my check for a downpayment for a new home for my family. So much that my eyes were burning while I was smiling with my daughter at her birthday celebration. So much that I was crying again tonight while at the grocery store buying balloons for the birthday party for Big Bro and Red tomorrow. And now still crying as I finish this up. And the corners of my eyes are cracked and raw and painful.

How did this happen to me? How did I get here? When will it get better?
How could he do this to me?

Filed Under: Daily Journal Tagged With: divorce, financial mediation, stress, working mom, working mother

Recipe: Foil Fish

May 3, 2012 by Mama K Leave a Comment

Now that we’re getting close to summer-time this one is bound to be a hit with you and your BBQ. It was submitted by Mama N from Austin TX!!! “The kids love “undoing” the package ;).”

Foil Fish

Ingredients:

Fish filets (“I get the individually vacu-packed tilapia from Costco”)
butter
olive oil
lemon slices
spices (basil, etc.)

Directions:

Take the fish and put the filet in a piece of tinfoil with a some butter and olive oil and lemon slices on top with basil (or really whatever you feel like putting on top) and then just grilling it in its little “packet” for about 7 min.

Prep time: 5 min

Cook time: 7 min (starting with frozen filets)

Filed Under: Recipes Tagged With: fish, fish filets, food, grill, recipes, working mom, working mother

May 3: Birthday cupcakes

May 3, 2012 by Mama K Leave a Comment

Today was my day off from work. I had the Twins as usual, but today I also wanted to steal Red from her daycare. Her birthday is coming up over the weekend and I wanted her to have cupcakes to bring into the class. So I wanted her to spend time with me shopping and preparing for baking event.

Highlights of the Morning:

I went up to the twins at 7 AM and both were just waking up. I wanted Red to sleep a bit longer since we didn’t have to rush. I also wanted Big Bro to rest in a bit since he gets ready so fast now once he’s up. Twin Crazy wanted to wear stockings so we put them on, underneath a comfy pair of pants. She is so cute.

Twin Crazy was cuddly and very clingy today. I spent most of the morning walking around with her. She wasn’t interested that much in breakfast, but was VERY interested in Red’s butterfly tattoos that she spotted on the counter. I said she could hold them but that they were Red’s.

We went upstairs to Red and Big Bro. Red noticed the tattoos right away. I told Red that I already explained to Twin Crazy that they were hers [conflict avoiding]. So they sat there together looking at the butterflies and talking about the different colors that they saw on each one.

Eventually Twin Husky came up to see us too. “Mommy….mommy….” I love it. My littlest guy. The youngest of the four by 1 minute. So I had all kids upstairs with me and I needed to get them back down! I helped to lay out the clothes that Big Bro picked out and told him to make sure he changed his underwear and socks. [Yuck]

Highlights of the Day:

Red and I finished breakfast and talked while Twin Crazy and Twin Husky were busy playing with each other and talking. They both were strolling around with toy strollers and then feeding the Tigers water which turned into a big mess.

We got ready to go shopping for the cupcake supplies. We talked on the way over there about other food we needed too. They were great to shop with. They all followed me around, didn’t grab too many things, and we even ran into a neighbor. “OK guys, now what do we need?…… let’s go over here…. come on guys….”. Then a child says “How about this?!?!???” – even the twins are doing it now. They had a great time in the cake aisle. I do get a lot of looks from people when I go shopping like this. I DO hear them as they whisper behind me “How does she do it?”. Little do they know that I have ANOTHER one at school at the moment so yes it is FOUR. I love it.

After shopping we had a snack, played peek-a-boo, and did our nails. Red was in charge since it was her polish.

We then made home-made play dough and that kept them busy for awhile.

Lunch was a disaster. I made beans, cheese, and salami and was busy in the kitchen doing something and when I came back to the dining room, all of the food was thrown all over the place. I couldn’t believe it. These kids are normally so good. And Red should know better!!! So I had all the kids on the floor picking up the food and saying that I felt mad and that this was bad behavior. So they all went up for their naps immediately afterwards with empty stomachs. No one put up a fuss though about going to sleep. I think they were too scared to.

I did some work while they were napping. I threw a whole chicken into a crock-pot with lots of spices for dinner.

Once they got up, we went to pick up Big Bro. He rode his bike back home and we followed him.

Dinner and Bedtime:

We started on the cupcake project which was a lot of fun.

Twin Crazy and Twin Husky were helping me with carrots for the dinner.

They ate well. Afterwards, we decorated 4 cupcakes and they each had one. Twin Crazy’s was the littlest (barely there even) but she didn’t notice. She was enthralled by the colored candy sprinkles and frosting.

I did 4 batches of cupcakes and ran out of paper cups. I sent Big Bro to our neighbor’s house to pick up some more. And then I asked for more and she went to the fence to drop them off – but I didn’t see that text – but Red saw her hands coming through the fence…. “Mommy… mommy!!! I see a hand! I see a hand!!” I had no idea what she was talking about. I was looking all over the kitchen for a shadow of a hand or something and then I looked out the window and my poor neighbor was waving these cupcake cups in the air. Too funny. I was hysterical and the kids were too.

Kids were jumpy after all the sugar but they did such a great job working together to decorate the cupcakes.

I had Big Bro and Red for bedtime routine and got them to calm their bodies down so that they could be reasonable at storytime. They were great. Big Bro actually read the book that Red picked out and I could tell that he was proud, as was I.

So now I’m in bed and very drained. I loved the time with the kids but there is so much going on right now in terms of the divorce, me buying a house, and work/final deliverables…. I feel like I’m getting hit in all directions and there is no one on my side. But I refuse to give up. I’m from the East Coast and we’re made of stronger stuff out there. Must be the water.

Til tomorrow –
– Mama K

Filed Under: Daily Journal Tagged With: birthday, cupcakes, home, parenting, play dough, twins, working mom, working mother

May 2: Milkshakes and straws

May 2, 2012 by Mama K Leave a Comment

It was a morning of lots of hugs and cuddles. A nice way to start the day. Since I worked from home on Monday, I am going into the office today – out of normal routine.

Highlights of the Morning and Commute:

I got to the Twins as they were waking up. Poor Twin Husky did not have his Tigers with him and he asked for them immediately. I asked if he had them last night and he said No. I suggested we look for them downstairs.

Twin Crazy was gradually getting up and I got her to the potty.

Big Bro and Red were slow getting up today.

Downstairs, Twin Crazy was VERY clingy and we all went into the garage to look for Twin Husky’s Tigers. They were in the van. Poor guy. He must have missed them last night. But he looked really happy to see them this morning.

Twin Crazy was so clingy…. Mommy, mommy, mommy…. So Twin Husky wanted to be held too. I got them both on the couch and on my lap and we looked into the camera and saw ourselves and I made sure to have the Tigers in there too. They were laughing at that.

Red was fine this morning

Big Bro was battling us with his clothes. I am still convinced that he did not change his underwear or his socks from yesterday. Checking the socks is difficult because he has 12 pairs that look exactly alike. I ask him point blank if he got changed and he says “yes”… not looking at me. So I go over to him and look at him in his eyes and ask him the same question and he laughs and says “yes”. This concerns me. This kid knows how to fib and I don’t want it to progress further. We have discussions about “trust” and how once you lose someone’s trust it is VERY hard to get it back. So it’s important to have people still have trust in you. I need to think of another trick to make sure he’s getting dressed. Any suggestions Mamas?

Drop offs were fine. I packed shoes for the Twins but they both wanted to wear sneakers with laces (big mistake… i need to throw them out) so I had each of them holding one of those shoes. I’m pretty sure this will cause some sort of fight between them today. I’ll throw them out tonight.

Red drop off was great; we asked another mom about coming to the birthday party on Saturday for a friend that Red forgot about (as did I). I need to send this woman the info.

I’m on the ferry now and feeling OK. I was so wiped out yesterday. I feel like today is a fresh start. I have some things related to the divorce that I need to attend to and then I MUST devote the bulk of today to my client project. I hate client projects at this point. I shouldn’t be doing them. I can’t succeed at them with four kids. My work knows this. I was only staffed on it because there were no available managers at the time it was started. I can’t wait to be done with it so I can focus on my real job.

Highlights of My Working Day:
It was a busy day and I got a lot of work done.

I started the day with some personal items – sending out birthday emails, making photocopies, etc.

I then switched gears pretty significantly to client work. I set the team up in a conference room for us to work with each other all day. I reviewed a document, had a conference call with the client to review the document. It was a good call with good, reasonable suggestions by the client. We are on track.

Because of this, I took the team to lunch. It was wonderful.

We then went back to work — I spent time creating analysis for a section of the work. It was good to have the team together. We bounced ideas off of each other and got the work done quickly. The most efficient way to get client projects done, I believe, is having the team together face-to-face even if each team-member is working on their own section of work.

I will have more to do tonight, likely after the kids go to bed.

I am on the ferry now feeling reasonably good. I know that I have work to do tonight but I think it will be manageable. I also have tomorrow “off” and plan to keep the Twins for myself – and likely pick up Red early so that she can ride her bike back from her daycare. We will also need to make cupcakes for her tomorrow so she can bring them into class on Friday. I am looking forward to being with them tomorrow.

Dinner and Bedtime:

I picked up Red first and her teacher was proud of the strawberries that were starting to grow from their class project. So we went to find the strawberries and I told Red that she was a great farmer.

We picked up Twin Crazy and Twin Husky next. They are great. Twin Husky wanted to go into Big Bro’s car seat, and Twin Crazy wanted to drive. She was busy pressing buttons and then I had a hard time figuring out how to get the doors to automatically shut. I eventually found the buttons and Twin Crazy was anxious to see if I could fix the problem. Lucky for her!

We went to pick up Big Bro and there were two boys left for me to invite to the birthday party. But I didn’t have their parents email address – they are kids that he plays with at “aftercare” so I wrote their moms personal notes. Hopefully they can come – Big Bro is excited. He rode his bike home but stopped 1/2 way because it was too windy for him.

We got home and I started to make dinner; Big Bro helped me mix some spices that I use for Mama K’s Mac-n-Cheese.

THE KIDS ATE LIKE TEENAGERS. Mac-n-cheese, fish, leftover pizza, string beans. All kids ate all of their food… so I decided to forego the fruit dessert and head straight for a milkshake… the kids were so excited and downed their milkshakes, and then had fun with the paper straws.

I cleaned up from dinner, then played with the kids. I had Twin Crazy and Twin Husky tonight and they were wonderful. They read pictures to me and even made the sounds of the animals. I am amazed at how well Twin Crazy can say her words. She is so understandable. I wasn’t expecting that of twins. She speaks her words SO CLEARLY and enunciates the sounds so well. “Duck”, “pig”, “cat”, etc. are all pronounced with the full sounds – beginning to end. I love it. And Twin Husky loves to talk about parts of the stories. His favorite book now is the Busy Spider or something like that from Eric Carle. He loves the part where the spider is sleeping and he loves to count the stars. We do our routine… climb into the cribs, touch their faces, “I……. love…… you……” in a whisper. Goodnight. Sweet dreams. Bye bye. Blow kisses.

I went in and gave Red and Big Bro kisses on their heads.

I’m downstairs now after a shower and a good face cleaning (Clarisonic, love it). I’m looking forward to tomorrow on my day off from work – a chance for me to decompress with the kids. My goal with them tomorrow is to bake cupcakes for Red’s birthday party at school.

Til tomorrow –
– Mama K

Filed Under: Daily Journal Tagged With: client project, cooking, lunch, macaroni and cheese, milkshakes, parenting, working mom, working mother

May 1: Chocolate Tuesday, almost botched

May 1, 2012 by Mama K Leave a Comment

Tuesday. Chocolate Tuesday. But we forgot until Big Bro and REd woke up to remind us….

Highlights of the Morning and Commute:
<li Twins were downstairs acting silling, asking for "Daddy's cereal". Music was on and I was asking Twin Husky if he wanted to dance. He laughed instead. I asked where they want their kisses. He pointed to the top of his head. Twin Crazy said "nossssing (nothing).

I went upstairs to check on Big Bro and REd. Big Bro was awake but resting. I sat on his bed and he said that “bagels and just like donughts without the chocolate.” I said, yes, they are similar. We then talked about the ingredients of bagels, donughts, and cake. How each have flour but the amount of sugar used surely changes. And probably the other ingredients too. I suggested we look up the ingredeints used for all three to see how the ingredeiants are similar and different. I was caressing his hair and face during hte conversation and he laughed saying that it iwas making him fall asleep again.

Red was up by this time. We were laughing about how I need to help her carry her things downstairs. Her HUGE backpack is ridiculous. And I offered to take down her pile of clothes for the day. Big Bro asked me to come up for him next.

I came back up for Big Bro and he wanted to get changed first before coming downstairs. But he tricks me into thinking he’s changed his underwear and socks. I checked the underwear and told him he’s taking a short-cut and sometimes in life taking the short-cut actually winds up taking you more time and effort. I made him change his pants and change his underwear. I’m not sure about the socks. He may have tricked me there. I smelled the socks and they seemed OK but again I’m not sure.

Downstairs Red was upset about something. He seat was empty so that was not it. I remembered she was telling me that the twins went into my room to play with my marbles. So maybe she was sulking because I didn’t continue that conversation. So I asked her about the marbles and for her to show me and she lept up and we ran to my room and she showed me the decorative marbles on teh floor. She helped me to pick them up and I thanked her and said that the Twins were ridiculous. 🙂 She was happy again.

All kids eating chocolate Tuesday. Twin Husky stealing Twin Crazy’s which did not go over well.

We talked about a birthday gathering for Big Bro and Red this weekend – this Saturday…. this is such late notice that I don’t know what kind of crowd we will be able to muster up. I will reach out to parents today.

Big Bro was excited about the bike ride.

I gave Red all the vitamins for all the kids for her to distribute. I asked her if I could trust her not to eat them all herself. She promised and did a great job.

Drop off for twins was good; Twin Crazy was cranky about a lost lovey blanket. Twin Husky was happy.

Drop off for Red was great; she asked if she could ride her bike home one day from school. I suggested we do this on a day that I pick her up early or on a weekend – that way she isn’t too hungry/cranky on the way home. She agreed that this was a good idea. They are having a cinqo de Mayo party this Friday. Her birthday is actually on Cinqo de Mayo so now I need to bake cupcakes. What a week!!

I am on the ferry right now and am actually a bit overwhelmed by everything happening in my life right now. Just too much. I have a mortgage that should hopefully be approved today, so therefore funding on my end to happen today. I have 3 different “projects” related to the divorce that I need to stay on top of. I have two birthday parties to get organized for this Saturday. I have one client project that is due next Tuesday (Yikes). And one big conference call meeting that I need to organize for mid-May. Honestly, all are top priority. How can I prioritize top-priority things?

I make a list and bang it out. I move quickly. I need to know what is to be done and allocate the time for it and get it done and move to the next thing FAST. I need to make sure that I eat a good breakfast on days like this so I will buy something substantial today. Then get in the office and get my head down and stay focused. Start on the smallest thing first and get it out of the way and then keep moving and moving until I’m attacking what NEEDS to be done without question. The birthday note to parents will likely be top of the list – I don’t want to drop the ball on two children this weekend.

Highlights of My Working Day:
I was quiet busy…. both professionally and personally. No lunch!

The first thing I did today was start to reach out to parents to make some sort of party happen for Big Bro and Red. I’ve nailed down many friends but still have to reach out to others. I hope I can make this day special for them.

Conference call related to a forum that we are planning; I am leading efforts. We decided to make it a conference call versus a face to face so we can get broader client participation. I need to re-communicate with participants, continue to sell participation, and also get materials together to make the meeting a success. I spent some time afterward re-crafting go-to-market messaging and also indicating next steps for our internal team.

Had another conference call as a follow up from our meeting when I was traveling. I don’t like this potential partner and do not trust him. Internally we are going to invest to get feedback from our clients before we spend too much time investing further in this effort.

There was alot of back and forth related to the mortgage.

I spent time doing divorce-related things like organizing documents, printing, scanning. This is such an amazing waste of time.

I tried to get my act in gear related to the client project, but just couldn’t do it. I’ve mapped out all day tomorrow to work with the team so hopefully I’ll contribute something then.

I’m on the ferry and am really tired. It’s only Tuesday. I feel crushed. My arms hurt from the reams of paper I’ve carried home today. I’m not sure about dinner. But I’m happy about getting the kids.

Dinner and Bedtime:

Pick ups went fine; first Red, then Twins, then Big Bro.

Big Bro rode his bike home. I went extra slow and gave him a big lead so he could beat us at the end of the lagoon trail.

I called for a pizza delivery for dinner.

As I was getting the kids and stuff unpacked, the back yard neighbors suddenly started appearing in the house. Then I turned around and ALL of the backyard neighbor’s kids were at hour place. So I had 8 kids in total. I was making a huge joke out of it saying that the kids are multiplying and growing like weeds…. so funny. The kids were having a ball and cracking up.

Pizza guy came and out went the neighbors kids

We had some tantrums with Red and Big Bro; I’m not sure if Twin Husky ate anything.

Smoothies after dinner; YUM

After dinner we did puzzles and counted the ladybugs in our habitat. Big Bro wrote a note for the kids behind us, wanting them to come over for a slumber party. He left the note by their garage with a rock on top so they could get the note in the morning.

I had Red and Big Bro tonight for bedtime; Twins were acting crazy.

I am so tired right now I can’t get over it. I feel like the energy is drained right out of me. I feel like my money on my lawyer is the worse use of money ever; I somehow need to pull back;
Goodnight;
– Mama K

Filed Under: Daily Journal Tagged With: divorce, parenting, tired, working mom, working mother

May 4: Bawling with balloons

Recipe: Foil Fish

May 3: Birthday cupcakes

May 2: Milkshakes and straws

May 1: Chocolate Tuesday, almost botched

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May 4: Bawling with balloons

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Recipe: Foil Fish

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May 3: Birthday cupcakes

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May 2: Milkshakes and straws

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May 1: Chocolate Tuesday, almost botched

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