Mama K

March 9: Sweet moments before going away

March 10, 2012 by Mama K 3 Comments

Happy Friday! I’m looking forward to this weekend. I will be solo. So I got a heavy dose of “kid” this morning to fill me up before they left me for the weekend.

Highlights of the Morning:

Big Bro’s bike privilege is back. He was up out of bed, got dressed, had his sneakers on, his jacket on, helmet on, and came downstairs for breakfast completely ready to go. He ate quickly and then was completely ready. Even backpack. It was onlly 7:30 AM. He typically doesn’t ROLL out of bed until 7:30 AM. But here is was, all ready to go and extremely excited to be back in action.

Big Bro and Twin Husky again were having fun running and dancing around in the kitchen together. I think this will be a ritual with them.

Big Bro was very sweet this morning. Twin Crazy had some hair in her face and Big Bro gently swiped it away and out of her eyes. The way she was looking up at him was so sweet. I wish I had the camera but am glad I remembered this moment – hopefully I will remember it in the future since I’m writing it down here.

It was finally 8:00 AM and time for Big Bro to go. He was thrilled. I watched him down the sidewalk. I called out that I loved him and for him to have fun. He turned around back to me as he was riding and said “Bye Mommy!!!” with a huge smile on his face.

Back at home Twins were dressed to go for the day. Red was dressed for school. Daddy was in the car too. I grabbed snacks and extra diapers for my day with the Twins. We pulled away to drop Red off. He was rushing. I didn’t understand why. I’m home with the kids anyway and I wanted to make it a relaxing drop off. As we were driving there I looked back at Red’s face and her eyes just seemed sad to me. I then asked her if she wanted to go with me and Twin Crazy and Twin Husky and she said YES. I was going to take them to the zoo. So I had Daddy turn the van around to drop him off and for me to get extra food since I had Red now too.

Highlights of the Zoo:

We arrived there early so we played in the playground a bit.

Red had to pee so we went potty – there was a huge lawnmower which was scaring the kids so it was a bit of an ordeal to get to the potty across the lawn while this huge lawnmower was going around. We made it though.

Back at the playground Red was being a monkey climbing on things and the Twins were staying close to me because of the lawnmower. Red was having trouble trying to climb up certain things and then all of the sudden I saw her with the stroller and she was using it as a ladder. I love how these kids problem-solve and come up with solutions. It makes me feel good that they can take care of themselves in that way.

Once the zoo opened we went to see the frogs and turtles first. Red had never been to that part of the zoo before.

We went to look at the sea otters and laughed at how they were playing.

We had snacks and the kids were having fun roaming through bushes and playing follow the leader.

We then went to brush the goats. So much fun. They were very good with the animals and loved it.

On the way out the kids were being monkeys again. Climbing on things all over the place.

Rest of the Afternoon:

We made it back by 11:30 AM for lunch.

Daddy packed up the car and I played with the kids. We played with blocks and balls. They started to get cranky, needing their naps so I held Twin Crazy for a bit and then rocked with Twin Husky.

The kids were cute getting their things. Twin Husky needed to bring his 2 Tigers, yellow soccer ball, pretend chicken leg, and blue rubber snake.

I said my goodbyes and rocked in the chair for a bit. It was quiet.

I’m going to try not to be upset about these lonely weekends any longer. My first alone weekend was very, very rough. It was hard for me to wake up in silence – it felt wrong. I maybe had 2 or 3 mornings of silence over the past 6 years and it just felt un-natural to me. I felt like I was missing my limbs or that I had two left feet or something. It just felt “off”.

But no matter how I look at it, no matter WHAT level of custody I have with these kids going forward, there will be obviously be days where I wake up without them. This is just reality. And I know this. I can almost accept this now. This is going to be part of my new reality going forward. I will not have them with me every day. It’s as simple as that. I get it. Sometimes it will be harder for me and sometimes it won’t feel as difficult. It will just be.

So, I sat in silence for awhile. It was a stark difference from just 2 minutes prior — twins crying to nap and Red bouncing around trying to be helpful. Now it was completely quiet except for the sound of the rocking chair. I sat in the chair in the sun. I checked email. I saw a “Groupon-now” for a deep conditioning and haircut that if bought, had to be used within 2 hours. So I made an appointment and bought the Groupon and got my hair conditioned and cut.

So now I’m getting ready for my weekend away. A B&B in wine country with heated pools, mineral baths, bed in breakfast, and massage (another Groupon previously bought). It was going to be for 2. But now I am one. And I am using it this weekend, alone. And happy about that. I will wake up to a quiet house tomorrow morning, knowing that the kids are fine and having fun, and I will pack up the car and go out to breakfast and road-trip. I have a massage at 11 AM and will relax the rest of the day at the pool. I will spend the weekend with myself and with my thoughts and enjoy the sun, the pool, and the silence.

I love Groupon.

Have a terrific weekend Mamas – I’ll post pix of my weekend on Facebook and likely Tweet about it too.

Here’s to sunny days!
– Mama K

Filed Under: Daily Journal Tagged With: divorce, haircut, massage, parenting, part-time, silence, solitude, weekend trip, working mom, working mother, zoo

Slow Recipe: O’Sullivan Chicken

March 8, 2012 by Mama K Leave a Comment

I know this one isn’t quick but it is EASY. Slow-cooker easy. I’m going to add slow-cooker recipes here now too, since this one sounds awesome and since I have many myself that are super good.

This recipe was submitted by Mama K O’Sullivan – sounds SUPER easy and yummy! Thank you Mama K!

“Easiest recipe ever…. My children, 9 and 10 love this one”

O’Sullivan Chicken

Ingredients:

4 chicken breasts

24 oz. jar of salsa

1 can of black beans

1 can of corn (drained)

Directions:

Put everything in a slow cooker

Cook on low for 4 – 6 hours

Shred chicken

Serve in or with corn tortillas

Prep time: 5 min
Cook time: 4 – 6 hours

Filed Under: Recipes Tagged With: black beans, chicken, recipe, slow cooker, working mom, working mother

March 8: Skinned knees

March 8, 2012 by Mama K Leave a Comment

I wasn’t working today and stayed home with my Munchkins. I decided to give Red the option if she wanted to stay home with us; she said yes, which REALLY pissed Big Bro off as I drove him to school.

Highlights of the Morning:

Red woke up at 1 AM screaming. It woke me up without the monitor. I go upstairs and Daddy says from his room that “he’s not doing it”. I shake my head but go downstairs since the plan is for me to be “off” when he is “on”. This is what the kids are going to have to get used to. I turn the monitor on downstairs and hear him say something about having to go to work tomorrow. But Red is still screaming. I wait 15 minutes. Now Big Bro is calling through the monitor for me to come up and help. I find Red in the corner of her bed screaming. I hold her to calm her down. I tell her it’s OK to feel scared. That sometimes people feel scared and its OK. I offer suggestion to clap the scary things away and I do this several times. She is calm. I put her in bed. I say that it’s OK. She wants to hold my hand and I do briefly then pull away. She reaches out to me but I say its OK. She drifts to sleep without my hand, and me farther away in room, almost out of sight. She sleeps through the rest of the night.

I wake up to Red at 7 AM in my room, making my bed while I am still in it. She is laughing. She is telling me that it’s time to get up.

Twin Husky eats like a teenager – must be a growth spurt.

Twin Husky follows around Big Bro and then Big Bro starts acting silly, dancing around, and Twin Husky is following in his footsteps to a T. Twin Husky looks up to him so much. Wants to do everything like him. So cute.

We get into the car to drop of Big Bro. He is still mad at me for taking him to school.

On the way home we pull into the ferry parking lot to look at the ferry drive away. We talk about the boat and the people and say bye-bye to the ferry as it travels to the city.

At home, we play with play-dough. The kids make me “food” since it is a kitchen set too. Red makes me pizza, and then Twin Husky makes me pizza, and Twin Crazy is busy cooking with the play-dough stove.

We head outside since it is beautiful out. They all have scooters. Twin Crazy falls and skins a knee. We also start playing with balls.

I brown a cut of beef and put it in the slow cooker. I clean up a bit and even wipe down the fridge. The kids are all playing outside and it feels good for me to do this while I have energy.

We play outside; we eat lunch; kids take naps. I straighten up and take care of emails.

Highlights of the Afternoon and Evening:

Twins wake up from their naps; we go outside on scooters again. Twin Crazy falls and skins her other knee. I give her band-aids for both knees.

Red wakes up; Twin Crazy shows her the bandaids on her knees. We eat Oreos and head off to get Big Bro from school. We save him a fist-full of Oreos.

At home all kids are outside. We are having too much fun with scooters, strollers, and balls. Big Bro and I are kicking balls back and forth. They are bouncing off of the house, slamming into the bushes, and several went over fences. We laughed. Big Bro has great coordination and is a natural athlete. I would say “whoa” to one of his kicks and Twin Husky would parrot it afterwards. It was a lot of fun laughing and playing ball. Kicking for real with my son. I know in a few short years it will be Big Bro and Twin Husky doing this and they won’t want me around kicking balls to them. So I take this in now while I can.

Twin Husky falls several times because of those damn boots that he insists on wearing.

Red falls and skins a knee. All kids want to look at it.

Big Bro is busy with a stool trying to look over the fence to see where the balls are. He can’t see a thing because of all the trees. Twin Crazy and Twin Husky are scaling a trelice and it breaks away from the wooden fence.

Twin Crazy starts to fill up water cups from the refrigerator and gets herself soaked.

I cook the rest of dinner. Red rests on the couch from her skinned knee.

All the food goes. Kids think they deserve dessert. Big Bro goes into the freezer for ice-cream. I swiftly take it away since it is MINE. We decide to do movie-night instead, with popcorn, since they will be leaving tomorrow afternoon and therefore missing our standard Friday movie nights.

I had Big Bro and Red for bedtime tonight. They were great. He set out his bike helmet right next to his pile of clothes so that he could be ready very fast tomorrow AM (he gets his bike privilege back tomorrow).

Big Bro asked me: “Why did the cow cross the road?” I reply, “Why?”. He responds: “Because it wanted to get hit by a car.” I started cracking up so loudly I just couldn’t believe the humor and how he told the joke and how goofy he is. Red was laughing at both of us. I had to reach out and hug him.

Red had a hard time going to sleep. I calmed her down and sat with her for a bit. She drifted off to sleep (NOT holding my hand) and I thought to myself that she might be the most beautiful child in the world….

I’m pretty tired and am looking forward to sleep. I ache for the kids and I miss them already. I know they will have fun but I do not trust what will be said to them while they are away. They’ve been put in the middle in the past and that was pre-separation; I can’t even imagine what will be said now that the situation has changed so much for the worse. I honestly hope that they are reasonable enough to keep the kids out of it.

I had a really good day today. I feel like I had a chance to be a parent and also a kid myself today. I had some great belly-laughs and saw sides of the kids that are new to me. I feel a bit lonely already for the weekend without them but at the same time am excited about my plans. The pain from a skinned knee is sharp at first but then fades as you get used to it and your body heals. That is all I can hope for myself for this weekend and in the future during the times without the kids.

Til tomorrow –
– Mama K

Filed Under: Daily Journal Tagged With: divorce, joke, kickball, laugh, parenting, part-time, scooters, skinned knee, working mom, working mother

March 7: Just a day.

March 7, 2012 by Mama K Leave a Comment

Wednesday – a day at home. I’m writing this at the end of the day so I’m trying to remember what exactly happened… it’s all a blur. I’m also working off of very little sleep. Red woke up at 11 PM last night, and then again at 4 AM, 4:30 AM, 5 AM, and 6 AM. Poor thing. Poor me.

Highlights of the Morning:

Twin Crazy has been walking around with a princess “fannie-pack”. It is the cutest, yet almost disturbing, thing ever…. she walks around like she has important business to attend to with her little fannie pack on. She buckles and unbuckles it, and strings the strap around to put it on again. She asks for help when she needs it, which is good.

Big Bro constructed a space shuttle out of Legos this AM, for R2-D2. R2-D2 was short lived — apparently he traded him with a kid at school for some other Lego figure.

Twin Husky was busy carrying all of his things in a paper bag but then the bag broke. He got so pissed off. So we put his stuff into a new bag. His stuff included: yellow soccer ball, random kid forks, spoons, and knives, his Tigers, pretend cleaning supplies, a dress, a green ball.

I drove all the kids in since Big Bro lost his bike privileges the night before. I dropped of Twin Crazy and Twin Husky first. Then Red and I walked with Big Bro to drop him off. I then dropped off Red.

Highlights of My Working Day:

I got home, straightened up the house, ate some breakfast, poured another cup of coffee, and set up my computer. I’m ready.

I had a meeting with one of the speakers for our forum in April to give direction on content.

I coordinated a call with another speaker to give guidance on content.

I did marketing outreach to one of the forums

I re-crafted go-to-market outreach for a forum we are trying to launch

I did more selling outreach to solicit participation in a meeting in April

I had to address various emails from all of the above relating to two forums, two meetings/forums we are trying to launch, and a client project.

I received some positive responses to the various invitations and also received to offers to speak — AWESOME! Great way to round out the Agenda!!!

The Rest of the Day:

I called the quits and ran some errands.

I picked up Big Bro first, then Red. There was a fire-truck there and we got there just in time to see the show… it was cute, all of the little kids coming outside to see the truck and the firemen. So cute.

We picked up Twin Crazy and Twin Husky next, and caught them in the middle of a walk around the courtyard with their daycare provider. The kids were all going wild. Big Bro and Red hanging out of the window, and me driving VERY slowly behind the Twins so they could get back to their daycare house… .it was like I was following Big Bro. We were all cheering from the van to the Twins and were all having a good time.

We got back and had an Oreo snack. I played with the kids. The boys were playing together and acting like boys, throwing balls and sling-shotting rubber snakes. Twin Husky was cracking up. Twin Crazy was playing in her kitchen set. Red was wrestling with me and playing “airplane”.

I made dinner – homemade pizza with dough from Trader Joe’s. Boys were still acting like boys, cracking up and playing with each other.

After dinner somehow they all started on ice-cream. Then we watched T.V.

Twins got cranky and I had them for bedtime so it was very easy to read to the them and put them to bed. “I…… love…… you…. Sweet Dreams….” So cute.

Now it’s the end of the day and I’m in my space and I have off tomorrow but still have work on my mind. I also have personal things to take care of. Financial stuff. I can’t wait to get this over. I’m looking forward to the weekend when I can decompress. Today was just a day. Nothing magical. It just came and went. Or maybe I just feel that way since I need to catch up on sleep.

Til tomorrow –
– Mama K

Filed Under: Daily Journal Tagged With: boys, firetruck, flex time, parenting, part-time, pizza, siblings, sleepless nights, working mom, working mother

March 6: Cooking, cleaning, and clobbering

March 6, 2012 by Mama K Leave a Comment

It is a windy Chocolate Tuesday! It was a good morning – all kids were obviously excited about their Nutella chocolate breakfast. Twin Crazy first said that she wanted oatmeal and then changed her mind (rightfully so) when she learned from her older siblings that it was Tuesday.

Highlights of the Morning and Commute:

I checked work email first and responded to some messages related to some work I was doing on behalf of our Europe office. I also gave some feedback to client team members on some deliverables that I reviewed last night, that way they have this feedback first thing in the morning when they get to their desks.

We woke up to a cold house this morning – 64 degrees. The heat was not turned on last night.

Twin Crazy peed through her diaper so her bed was soaked. I have to buy night-time diapers for these two.

Big Bro was hiding under his covers. At first we didn’t think he was in his room, but he wasn’t in my room either. Where is Big Bro? I admit that I was a bit nervous. I changed Twin Husky quickly and went to his room and quickly felt ontop of the bundle of covers and hit a knee or leg or something. He’s here! Whew. He was laughing since he tricked us.

Big Bro asked to see a picture of a Batman lego so he could color in his batman picture. I googled it and found an image for him. He knows about how I can do this on my phone and makes these random requests to me all the time.

Downstairs Red said that she was going to eat 100 pieces of bread for chocolate tuesday. Big Bro said that that doesn’t make any sense. If she were to eat 100 pieces of bread her stomach would explode. I laughed and told him that I absolutely LOVE this stage that he is in. He reasons all of the time. He challenges you when things make sense or they do not. He comes up with alternatives. He negotiates. He manipulates. He is on his toes and it keeps me on mine.

Twin Husky was shoving his face into his cereal bowl to lick up the milk. Eventually he figured out how to lift the bowl to drink the milk. So cute. He was in a great mood this morning.

Vitamins! All kids went nuts. One of the brands offers “fish” and “star” shapes and Big Bro wanted a “star” so Twin Husky asked for a “star” too. Then they both started dancing around chanting “star! star! star! star!”. It was so cute. Brothers. Male-bonding. Over a star vitamin.

I put Vitamin E on Twin Crazy’s owie on her nose. It is a really bad scab now and I’m concerned that it is going to fall off too fast. It would be a shame to have a scar on that cute little face of hers. We talked about Big Bro’s scabbed knee and how nicely it healed. And Big Bro noticed it too and was going to say something about it… how his skin is clean and how you can’t see much of a scab anymore.

Red got changed without a problem. She has a new “system” for putting on her socks which she was explaining to me. I was only half listening.

Big Bro was ready to ride with the Motley Crew. He called for me and said goodbye and I called for him and told him I loved him and for him to have a great day. He was off.

Even though we were early, we divided up the drop offs. Red requested me since she did not have me yesterday. I said goodbye to the twins and told them to have fun today. Twin Crazy wanted me to sit in the front seat and drive. So sweet. So nice to feel needed. I told her I would pick her up after school.

Red looked so cute in the back seat of the car. She was sitting there with her baby doll all smiles. I love how she looks at me when we have this time together. I called her my little buddy. Drop off went very smoothly and it looked like she was excited to be with her friends.

On the way to the car I checked email and found out that I secured a very, very difficult organization who will participate as a speaker at one of the forums. YES!!!! I am psyched. Apparently our firm has tried in the past without much success but I was able to land it through LinkedIn of all sources! YES!!!

I will be very busy today. Back to back meetings with some breaks in between where I will need to get work done. It will be fast and furious today. I will need to get a good breakfast on the way to work.

I’m on the ferry now and feeling good. There was good separation between us this morning so I feel stress-free. I got a tremendous night’s sleep. My plans are coming together for my solo weekend. I’m am feeling good (as of now).

Highlights of My Working Day:
Another busy day….

The office move is still going well. I am “squatting” in someone’s office until my furniture arrives. No problem. I’m easy when it comes to stuff like that. I saw an equipment cart and thought it was great… it was for one of the contractors who are working on our space. The cart made me laugh which was a great way to start my working day.

I followed up with some emails regarding the forums we are having in April, in terms of guest attendance and also potential speakers.

I had a primary interview with the project team with one of our client colleagues. It was a good meeting.

I met with an ex-colleague who works at a company that we would like to invite as a guest for one of our meetings in April.

I met with the team in the AM to go over what we were going to review with the client during our status meeting in the afternoon. I added some content and made some suggestions — they handed it off to the client in time for their review.

We had our client review meeting and it went REALLY well. They appreciate the tangible work provided to them so far, and they understand the methodology of market sizing we are using. Our first “interim” project review will be next week and we will be so far along with the client – we can use the time together to go over scenarios and impact versus showing them analysis for the first time.

I requested my admin to schedule some meetings for planning purposes for the forums; speaker requests and content that the audience will want to have covered.

The ferry home was enjoyable. I feel good about the day and feel like I’m making progress on many fronts at work. I also feel good about the kids and am looking forward to what this year will bring, once we get passed the storm and once we know that the kids will adjust.

Dinner and Bedtime:

I picked up Red first. She was busy playing with a friend in the playground. Her smiling face is so sweet – she shows so much joy. She is so playful and free-spirited.

We picked up Twin Crazy and Twin Husky next. They were excited to show me the little cars they were playing with. I noticed that they always were right near each other… parked together either side by side or in a line together. I wonder if all kids in small daycares behave like this together or is it the fact they are twins? I can’t tell.

We picked up Big Bro and again he rode his bike home. I asked him earlier in the trip if he was OK and if it was OK for me to go ahead without him. He excitedly reported back “YES Mommy!!!”. I turned the hazards off and slowly accelerated, looking at him in my rear-view mirror.

As I pulled into the garage, Red stated that tonight is my night with Big Bro and Red for bedtime routine. I unpacked the kids and the stuff and waited for Big Bro’s return. He came back all smiles, gave me a fist-pump, and pushed the button to close the garage door.

Inside, I gave the kids a small gold-fish cracker snack. Then started dinner. I made chicken cutlets with homemade breadcrumbs. The kids helped me make the breadcrumbs and also made a mess on the floor which Big Bro vaccumed up. Big Bro also pounded the chicken. They set the table. They were amazingly cooperative. I think the snack helped, along with keeping them busy and keeping them feeling useful.

All ate well. Red was a scavenger and ate up everyone’s string-beans. Big Bro, despite helping to cook the chicken, rejected it completely.

Afterwards Big Bro and Twin Husky had an issue with a ball – Big Bro grabbed the ball away from Twin Husky and actually hit him on the head. I couldn’t believe it. I think it even surprised Big Bro. I sent him upstairs. He kept coming down. I threatened his bike ride for tomorrow. He came out again. I threatened his bike ride for Thursday. He finally stayed quiet and sulked with Legos. He wound up losing his two bike rides.

After cleaning up, I went upstairs because I wanted to read with Big Bro. I think he felt bad and needed some reinforcement. He was playing Legos so I let him be. I changed Twin Crazy into pajamas, put some Vitamin E on her scab-less face to hopefully avoid a scar, and then everyone wound up coming upstairs.

I had Big Bro and Red tonight. I read to them. They were great with their teeth. We did “magnets” (responsibility boards) and Big Bro insisted that he did not earn magnets for several of the items — even those that I would have given to him…. He felt guilty about hitting Twin Husky. We talked about it. He said he felt bad. I reassured him that even though his behavior was bad tonight that he is still loved. And Red even said that “You still love us even if we have bad behavior”. I also wanted to make sure that he FEELS loved. Its one thing to say it all the time but its another thing to really FEEL loved. And I asked him if he felt loved and he responded yes. So I think we ended on a good note despite the hitting and not listening episode. It really is a shame since he was SOOOOOOOOOOO cooperative after school. Riding his bike home, helping with dinner, cleaning up, setting the table. He was a dream tonight. I don’t know what went wrong.

I wound up holding their hands as they went to sleep. I’m downstairs now thinking about the day and feeling good. I’m thinking about the work I need to do tomorrow and feel like it will be a good day.

Til tomorrow –
– Mama K

Filed Under: Daily Journal Tagged With: bicycles, cooking, hitting, parenting, sibling rivalry, working mom, working mother

March 5: Balloons, boots, and bicycles

March 5, 2012 by Mama K 2 Comments

It’s a beautiful Monday morning and despite my post about being completely ready for this morning, we still had our issues… you never can really be completely prepared (as you know). Red woke up in the middle of the night last night so I’m dragging a bit.

Highlights of the Morning and Commute:

I woke up to a discussion through the “kid monitor” about Daddy night versus Mommy night (from Daddy) which really bothered me since we both agreed that the kids should not be put into the middle of such discussions.

I then walked out of my room to Twin Crazy crying since Red accidently hit her with a baby doll. Accidents happen. Daddy was consoling Twin Crazy and asked Red to apologize. Red did nothing and eventually Daddy just walked away. This “discipline” drives me crazy. I am very focused about the need to follow through with what I start since it teaches kids authority and to actually listen to what we say. So after greeting the kids for the morning, giving them kisses, I asked Red what happened and if she by accident hit Twin Crazy and made her hurt. I asked her to apologize to Twin Crazy as Daddy had asked. She sat there, motionless. I said she needs to apologize since she hurt Twin Crazy but didn’t mean it. Twin Crazy was on my lap at this point. So I suggested giving her a big hug as a way to apologize. This, she agreed with. So both girls were on my lap with Red hugging Twin Crazy and Twin Crazy’s tears a thing of the past.

Big Bro was having a problem upstairs. He lost his Star Wars “Storm Trooper” lego and was fighting coming downstairs because of this. He needs to get his own way and little things like this just throw him into a REALLY nasty mood. I tried to get him to come down and said he needed to get downstairs to eat his breakfast for energy so he could ride his bike. After several minutes, he was still not downstairs. We were running late at this point. I gave him until the count of 5 for him to come downstairs or else he was going to lose his bike privilege for the morning. He got up, was wailing, but made it downstairs by the count of 3.

Vitimans for the kids all around. Big Bro was getting happier.

Red got dressed without a problem. Big Bro was going slowly. Needing help (Mommy time). He didn’t like his jeans which threw him back several minutes. He was running late. The thought of missing the bike drove him past his issue with the jeans and I was feeding him toast and jelly as I was helping him with shoes and jacket and backpack and helmet. He finally made it out of the house to catch up with the Motley Crew.

Red wanted to ride with me to daycare. Daddy wanted to ride her in. She was hanging onto my sweater. Daddy had to pry her off. Daddy talked to her saying that he wanted to drive her in and that he wanted a turn to drive her in. She was still crying and throwing a fit and clinging on to my leg and my sweater. It turns my stomach to hear him beg for the children’s attention.

So that was my morning. I have 3 months left to stay in this house. This will be a hard 3 months. And it will get worse from here on out.

I think I’ll have a good day at work today. A colleague is returning from maternity leave so I will be able to get her up to speed with one of the forums we are working on together and will be able to delegate some of the survey work to her. She was involved with the previous work so it will be more efficient for her to take this piece on. I will continue to focus on securing speakers and also selling additional guests/ memberships. I’ll do some more outreach for the other forum as well. Finally, I need to connect with my team for the client project I am leading and I want to see their progress in applying the market sizing methodology to several segments as a test. I want to see if it is working, believeable, and defensible. I’m hoping they come to the meeting with me prepared, since we need to put this work in front of the client tomorrow. If the work is seriously flawed, this will throw a wrench into my working day and I will not be able to accomplish everything that I want to.

My goal over the next few months is to shelter the kids and be successful at work. I will need to go through the divorce process which will bring its ups and downs but I need to be resilient and strong. I can do this knowing that there will be better and brighter days awaiting me on the other side.

Highlights of My Working Day:
So busy!!!

I met with a colleague who is back from maternity leave and got her up to speed with a conference we are having in April. I delegated the survey work to her – it needs some focused attention up front so this is perfect for her to get involved with.

I continued with speaker outreach for the two conferences. I secured one speaker and need to set up details to confirm story and content to be discussed.

I arranged for a conversation with one of the speakers to set expectations on content.

I spent a good 2 hours on sales outreach for one of the forums, now that I have the topics/agenda almost settled. The best way to sell new membership is to invite the organizations as guests and then they (hopefully) convert to members.

I led a team connect over lunch and we talked about the office move and also staffing needs.

I met with my team on the client project to review and vet the methodology they came up with for market sizing. I think it’s good. It’s creative. I made some suggestions to make it better and it is headed in the right direction. We will be ready for our client call tomorrow – we need just two PowerPoint pages…. one page on methodology and another page on how we tested the methodology with real data and the results. I will review with the team tomorrow AM before sending off to the client.

I did some personal things…. setting up some activities for myself for the weekend since ex-Hubby is taking all the kids away to his folks’ house for the weekend. My plans are falling into place and I am looking forward to the weekend.

So now I’m on the ferry. The sun is out. I’m feeling good. I need to think about dinner. I’m thinking cheese quesadillas with a mixed combo of side dishes of shrimp, black beans, sliced cucumber, olives. And anything else that I have leftover in the refrigerator.

Dinner and Bedtime:

I picked up Red first, then Twin Husky and Twin Crazy. They were talking about how Twin Husky lost his helium balloon during the day. How it went up in the sky. And how he said “bye bye balloon”. The kid didn’t even cry. He just waved goodbye to his balloon.

We picked up Big Bro last. I did this on purpose. I knew he would want to ride his bike home. So we all waited for him to get his bike. While waiting, Twin Crazy was looking at her balloon and Twin Husky requested to wear his boots (instead of his sneakers). Big Bro arrived with his bike and we talked about the route home. So again we followed him in the van with hazards on, in our slow neighborhood streets. When we got to the last 5 minutes of the ride, Big Bro asked me to go ahead without him. He said he was OK. So I did. I turned the hazards off, pulled into the street, and drove away at a normal pace….. looking at him in my rear-view mirror until he was a speck. As I got the kids out of the van and gathered the bags, Big Bro came riding on into the garage, with a smile ear-to-ear. He was cooperative the rest of the night.

I got dinner ready. Warm tortillas, grated cheese, shrimp, black beans, olives, cucumbers. corn. It was a make your own quesadilla/burrito kind of night. Very easy. And the kids like the variety.

Afterwards the girls were loud and rambunctious. The boys were quiet. A balloon was floating. I changed the Twins and made them jump. Red put up some pictures in my clip-frame in my room. I love this thing… the kids pick what art/pictures they want to hang/clip and it goes on my wall on display.

I had the Twins for bedtime tonight. They went down easily. Big Bro cried “why do we have to take turns?” and then settled in to the routine with Daddy.

I’m in bed now decompressing from the day. I will have a very busy day tomorrow with back to back meetings and I’d like to also get some more work done in between those meetings…. I’ll need to get a good night’s sleep tonight. Hopefully the kids stay asleep. I also need to get some personal things done and meetings set. It seems like everything is happening all at once… everything hitting from now until end April… and in the meantime living in this house and trying to keep my distance.

Til tomorrow –
– Mama K

Filed Under: Daily Journal Tagged With: client project, conference planning, divorce, helium balloon, parenting, part-time, rainboots, Star Wars legos, working mom, working mother

Staying Sane: Start your morning the night before

March 4, 2012 by Mama K 5 Comments

This is something so obvious and already known to be true by all working mothers out there. So I really don’t know why I’m going to write about this. You already know it. But maybe it is a rule that is so important that it is I guess good to reinforce from time to time.

Getting out of the door is not easy with kids. Hell, it isn’t easy by yourself sometimes (e.g., where did I leave my keys? I don’t like this outfit… maybe this one…. I didn’t charge up my phone…. ugh). Add kids to the mix, and add a busy commute, multiple drop offs to daycare/school, some crankiness (from you and/or the kids), runny noses, temper tantrums, milk spilt on the floor, lunches, and kids hanging onto your legs… now THAT’s a recipe for disaster.

It is clear to every working mother that the most obvious thing to do when you are faced with situations that can so quickly go out of control, is control whatever you can in advance to hopefully streamline and make your life easier when you know you will need it.

In our house, the LAST ferry leaves at 8:30. There are THREE drop-offs for our FOUR children. Not fun. Plain and simple. Actually, it sucks. That’s all there is to it. But, I’ve managed to put some structure in place the night before to make things easier for us in the scramble of the morning… .if you’ve been reading the daily journal here, you already be familiar with much of the routine. The list below is a full list and I certainly do not follow everything at all times…. although I probably should.

Sunday nights involve packing the daycare bag for the week. All clothes and socks that Twin Husky and Twin Crazy will need for the week are in there. Diapers, wipes, you name it. The bag is packed and in the hallway waiting by the garage door.

Similarly, Red’s linen bag for daycare is also ready to go the night before. It sits right near the daycare bag.

Older kids clothes are picked out by them, and placed in piles on their floor so they can get
dressed themselves in the AM. When they were younger, just having the piles ready for us to change them were good enough.

When I was on lunch duty, I also started thinking about the lunch the night before; anything I could do in advance I did (e.g., juices in thermos cups).

All jackets and shoes are in their proper place. This has always been hard for us. No matter how hard I try to have the kids take off their shoes and keep them in one place, one child forgets and then the routine is hammered the next morning. This includes jackets. This has really caused beautifully smooth mornings unwind into stressful teary experiences for everyone involved…. all it takes is one damn lost shoe out of eight feet and your timing is totally messed up. So, all shoes and jackets need to be accounted for and immediately accessible. Our new, ingenious system was a suggestion from our child custody mediator. Put hooks up and bins and get the kids trained to use them. I went a step further and put pictures of them and also name tags in big letters. It is working great with Twin Crazy and Twin Husky. Twin Crazy really enjoys putting things away and comes back to be with a huge, proud look on her face when she succeeds. Red is accustomed to this at school, as is Big Bro. But he, as usual, is always the one to say “where is my jacket? Where are my shoes??” Uggh. I do believe that we will get there though, eventually.

I also make sure that my own bag is ready…. iPad, phone, wallet, and work computer if I brought it home. Keys are always in one place ready to go.

If I am having a big meeting the next day, I think through what I’m going to wear the night before. This is particularly important during PMS. This can REALLY throw you off.

I sometimes set the coffee machine on the night before on timer.

On good nights, I even think through the next day’s dinner and take out whatever I need from the freezer to defrost overnight.

All lunchbags, backpacks, etc. are in places that are easy to find (e.g., backpack by the back door near the garage).

When the Twins come downstairs, I make sure they also bring what they will need for daycare that day – Twin Crazy’s lovey blanket and Twin Husky’s “Tiger”. That way I know these items are somewhere on the first floor before we leave.

So, that is just a summary of the run-down that you may have read before in some form or another. This is the easiest rule as ANY parent knows when you are trying to leave the house with a child. Make sure that anything that can be organized and put together is done so the night before the morning rush with the child. You learn this very quickly. And I guess managing the diaper bag is the first part of training for any working parent.

As a working mother, what other things do you take care of the night before to make your commute easier??? Or to make your morning with your kids run smoother and less stressful???

Sorry for this cop-out of an entry. I know you did not learn anything new. This is Working Mother 101 here. But, maybe we can learn a few more tricks from other mamas out there….

Thanks for listening –
– Mama K

Filed Under: Staying Sane Tagged With: commute, kids, parenting, working mom, working mother

March 2: Pajamas and dresses

March 3, 2012 by Mama K Leave a Comment

Hi Mamas! Happy Friday – it was a good day for me – I feel like I got good time in with each of the kids which was good; more meetings relating to the divorce so I’m kind of wiped out – this will be brief –

Highlights of the Morning:

Big Bro had “pajama day” at school to celebrate Dr. Seuss; I think the kids had a great time – the Motley Crew was all in their PJs and looked so comfy. I think he had a great time today.

I normally have the Twins today but I had a meeting in the afternoon; so I set up daycare for them – however she had a doctor appt. in the AM so I dropped them off at 10 AM so we had some time to play! I decided to keep Red home too during that time. We cleaned up books, drew pictures, played with a lace-up toy set, did stacking puzzles, ate snacks, ran around the house, got tickled, and got dressed.

We had a visitor (our neighbor with four kids! Motley Crew) with a bag of clothes (thank you Christine!). It was funny how Twin Husky gravitated toward this purple frilly soft flowy dress. He wanted to wear it so I helped him put it on. It went great with his bug boots that he is now addicted to.

Twin Crazy was so cute with Red this morning. I made a big deal out of how they can both wear/share shirts now…. pants won’t work for both of them, but shirts will. So Twin Crazy agreed that she wanted to pick out her own clothes and Red wanted to help her. Red showed her the shirt drawer in her room and then helped Twin Crazy pick out pants in the other room – they even picked out socks together. Then Red proceeded to help Twin Crazy get dressed. It was so sweet. I couldn’t get enough of it – especially how Twin Crazy looked at Red and how Red kept saying “i will help you…”

The three of them had a tea party and then I got a call from daycare – I dropped them off, she had a laugh with Twin Husky’s dress, and then I dropped Red off (after fixing her worn down sneaker in the lobby).

Highlights of the Rest of the Day:

I had a meeting today that was very difficult — again I’m putting faith into the process but feel the need to come clean with what’s on my mind. Understanding one person is hard enough, let alone an entire family, let alone in only an office environment through discussion. I really feel like there needs to be more input into this recommendation and am offering more sources of information if desired. This is really, really difficult.

After the meeting I went to pick up Twin Crazy and Twin Husky. They were both showing me how they were jumping. Twin Husky still had on his boots and dress.

I picked up Big Bro next and we made a plan for him to ride from his elementary school over to Red’s daycare. I went over the route with him, and told him I would do the same as yesterday…. follow slowly behind him while he was on the sidewalk. Again our neighborhood is very, very quiet and we take mostly back roads that are not heavily driven. He did great and the look of independence on his face was priceless. The minivan from one of his friends drove by in the opposite direction and they totally saw him. We both commented that it was Ryan’s van and they were totally cheering him on! He loved it.

We got to Red’s daycare and were completely surprised with a bake “giveaway” from her class. I love this place! The kids were so cute handing out cupcakes and cookies. Our family kept them busy since we had five mouths and one of them just rode his bike so was hungry.

The ride back was nice; Big Bro did great on the bike. He experimented with a new way back home that was less windy.

I got laundry going and the kids were interested, as usual.

Pizza arrived and Big Bro and Red ate the most I’ve seen in a very long time.

Afterwards was movie night – Big Bro and Red sat on my lap in a rocking chair once I was able to actually sit down with everyone.

I had the Twins tonight for bedtime routine. Again Big Bro wanted to know why we were doing this. He says we don’t have to do this. I completely agree….

Twins went down without a hitch… PJs, teeth, books, song, kisses, night-night. “Sweet dreams. I…… love…… you.”

Big Bro and Red refused to stay in their room. Big Bro said he misses me since I didn’t spend bedtime with them tonight. They kept coming downstairs. Daddy left for a massage so I went upstairs with them to spend some time, hug them, and see them drift off to sleep.

I’m tired and thinking about tomorrow. I will have Twin Crazy and Twin Husky in the AM. I’d like to take them somewhere new and different.

Have a great weekend everyone –
– Mama K

Filed Under: Daily Journal Tagged With: bicycle, divorce, pajama day, parenting, part-time, working mom, working mother

March 1: Beginning to let go

March 2, 2012 by Mama K 4 Comments

It was a memorable day. It was a day of milestones. It’s a day like this when I’m glad I’m keeping this blog. A record of the children and who they are and how they’re changing and who they are becoming. I was home from work today. It’s 10:30 PM right now so this will be brief but heartfelt.

Highlights of the First Half of the Day:

The kids were playing with each other during breakfast. Big Bro and Twin Husky were playing ball.

Red and Twin Crazy decided to wear matching shirts. Red wore a pink bunny shirt, and Twin Crazy wore an identical shirt, but in gray. I was calling them “the twins”.

I dropped all kids off since it was my home day with them. My day to be a mom. It was raining so Big Bro rode with us in the van and did not go with the Motley Crew. I think he gets embarrassed of the entire clan of kids so for the VERY FIRST TIME EVER, I pulled into the circular driveway at school and DROPPED HIM OFF BY HIMSELF. Oh my goodness I asked him what he wanted to do and let him know that he had a choice. And he choose independence. He looked back a couple of times but I was so proud of him. And it hurt inside when I couldn’t see his blue fleece hood any longer when he turned a corner. I slowly drove away.

We dropped off Red next. I wanted to take a picture of the girls in their bunny shirts. They were so cute. Twin Husky was acting so silly and acting like a surfer for some reason. My laugh was bellowing through the school. In fact, some teachers came outside to see the commotion since I was laughing so loud. I love how his personality is busting through and how goofy he is becoming. He makes me smile so much.

Inside her classroom, Red gave Twin Husky and Twin Crazy hugs goodbye.

I decided to take Twin Crazy and Twin Husky out for breakfast for some bagels. They had fun looking out the window and squealing at dogs, and we talked about trucks and umbrellas and commented on other kids’ rainboots. Twin Husky was wearing a pair that were way too big for him but for some reason he loved them while also putting his hands in his pockets.

The day kindof went by…. Twin Husky was cleaning. They both got into Red’s kid nail polish. at 12:45 we picked up Big Bro and headed home for lunch and naps for the Twins. Me and Big Bro hung out and did nothing special or in particular.

Highlights of the Rest of the Day:

The biggest event was picking up Red after Twin Husky and Twin Crazy woke up from their nap. We quickly gave them a snack and then Big Bro put on his helmet and got on his bike. I drove along side of him, 3 mph, with my hazards on. Our neighborhood is VERY secluded so there was no real traffic, and he had a sidewalk almost the entire way there, but there was one part of the journey where we were separated by a field. He was so thrilled to be riding on his own with us trailing him. I saw the joy in his face. I could almost feel the excitement in his body. I could almost feel his hands gripping the handlebars. And feel the wind on his face. And feel the sense of independence but also of security when looking over to see us in the van along side of him. He did
great. We parked his bike and he did the same thing back at home. I said we should do this more often and I have a feeling we will. It was amazing. He is my boy.

Dinner was great; I had a steak going in the crockpot. The kids set the table by themselves. I heard them working together to get it done. They ate well. Big Bro ate like a champ. I taught them how it is good to eat meat after working your body and how the protein is good to help your sore muscles. So Big Bro ate a bit more.

We ended the night with chocolate milk.

It was my night with Big Bro and Red. Both are very clingy. Big Bro needed to sit in my lap. He was convinced that he did not have enough “Mommy time” today even though he had been
with me since 1 PM and much of that was alone. I feel so bad for these kids. They are suffering already. I sat with them – scratched his back – held her hand, until they were both breathing deeply and lost to sleep.

And now as I’m going through my pictures for this post, I see that Big Bro had my iPhone when I wasn’t looking and decided to be a photographer himself and capture pictures of his treasured toys. So cute.

I am tired; it is late. I don’t want these days to end. I don’t want it to get worse for them. There are so many glimpses of pure magic during the day with these kids. The boots. The smiles. The goofiness. The hugs. The wanting to help. The look of accomplishment. The drive to do things by themselves. I never want it to end.

Til tomorrow –
– Mama K

Filed Under: Daily Journal Tagged With: bicycle, divorce, growing up, hugs, parenting, part-time, siblings, working mom, working mother

Recipe: Chicken thighs with mushroom and wine sauce

March 1, 2012 by Mama K Leave a Comment

This recipe was submitted by fellow Mama Jeanette from Long Island, NY. Thank you Jeanette!!! I miss NYC!!!

Chicken thighs with mushroom and wine sauce

“I got this from the internet awhile ago and it is delicious! Easy too, not many ingredients and quick. Recipe says to serve with rice or potatoes. I usually use egg noodles. Recipe serves 4. Hope you like it!”

Ingredients:

1 1/2 pounds boneless,chicken thighs
salt and pepper
1 TBS. olive oil
2 TBS. butter
8 oz. sliced mushrooms
1 clove garlic, minced
3 tablespoons flour
1 cup chicken broth
1/3 cup dry white wine such as chardonay
1/2 cup of cream or half and half
1-2 TBS. chopped fresh parsley

Directions:

Wash chicken, pat dry and sprinkle with salt and pepper.
In a large skillet over medium heat, heat the oil and butter.
Add chicken and cook, turning until browned. Remove to plate and set aside.
Add mushrooms to the skillet and cook, stirring until mushrooms are tender and browned.
Add the garlic and cook for 1 minute longer.
Stir in flour until blended.
Stir in chicken broth and wine until blended.
Add chicken back to the skillet, cover, reduce heat to low and cook for 20-30 minutes, or until chicken is cooked through and tender.
Stir in the cream and parsley and heat through.

Preparation Time: 10 minutes

Cooking Time: 45 minutes total

Filed Under: Recipes Tagged With: chicken, kids, mushroom, parenting, quick recipe, white wine, working mom, working mother

March 9: Sweet moments before going away

Slow Recipe: O’Sullivan Chicken

March 8: Skinned knees

March 7: Just a day.

March 6: Cooking, cleaning, and clobbering

March 5: Balloons, boots, and bicycles

Staying Sane: Start your morning the night before

March 2: Pajamas and dresses

March 1: Beginning to let go

Recipe: Chicken thighs with mushroom and wine sauce

Mama In Motion

Email Subscription

My Story…

Twitter

Blog Stats

Email

Share this:

Share this:

Share this:

Share this:

Share this:

Share this:

Share this:

Share this:

Share this:

Share this:

Email Subscription

My Story…

Blog Stats

Email