November 16: Managing Expectations…

November 16, 2011 by Leave a Comment

Wednesday! My last work day of the week! Yeah! I hope its productive!

Highlights of the Morning and Commute:

  • The Twins woke up earlier than expected; so we brought them in our room and I asked them to rest since it wasn’t time to wake up. So I lay there with the two of them, resting their bodies and listening to me, while Hubby showered. It was so cute watching them. Each had smiles on their faces but were quiet, at first. Then Twin Husky grabbed the tail of this favorite Tiger stuffed animal that he sleeps with and pointed the tail to Twin Crazy’s nose. Then the giggling started. Each were laying down, looking at each other, smiling, and giggling. Every now and then Twin Husky would lift up his head and look at me and say “Hoooowooooooh” (aka “Hello”).
  • I showered quickly and headed downstairs. I helped with getting Red more cereral (she eats a ton), getting Twin Crazy more oatmeal (she eats a ton as well, but a lot winds up on her PJs), getting Twin Crazy bread and dry cereal, getting drinks, telling the Twins to stop playing with their drinks (e.g., spooning their oatmeal into their water cup), getting clothes for everyone except for Big Bro (who dressed himself this morning, YEAH!).
  • I had diaper changes and clothes changes for both Twins. I love that time with them. They totally get into the games that I play with them. Counting 1-2-3 as I take off a diaper, looking inside and making a big deal out of poop or pee, kissing their bellies, and now I’m also starting the “love game” with each of them. Me: “Did I tell you yet today how much I love you?” “I love you so much that I’m going to kiss your nose [I kiss nose]. I love you so much that I’m going to clap your hands [I grab their hands and have them clap]. I love you so much that I’m going to eat your toe [I grab a foot and pretend to eat a toe]”. Etc. Etc. They’re getting really fun and totally getting into the game.
  • Twin Crazy was having a hard time with her pink balloon that everyone kept stealing from her. She held strong and communicated “My balloon”. Great job for her with her words!!!! Bad job Big Bro and Twin Husky for teasing your sister!!
  • I ran upstairs to get dressed for work; downstairs I hear crying and Hubby yelling. What is going on down there? When I came upstairs everything was going fine…
  • We separated the drop offs this morning since I have an appointment tonight and wanted the extra car at the ferry station. It’s getting cold here. I dropped of Red. She had a hard drop off.

    • Now I’m on the ferry and thinking about today. I have to start the client deliverable – it just needs to get started. I also have some clean up from the meetings that honestly needs to get done. I also have a lunch meeting with the CEO of an other consulting firm and we are evaluating how our firms can work together to sell and deliver work. I worked on a project with this woman in the past and we provided her great value for what we did – she is interested in pursuing other opportunities and maybe formalizing what we can do together. It will be an interesting lunch. She wanted to meet with me and two Directors at the firm with whom she used to work. I’m glad to be part of it and I actually initiated the meeting. So I’m feeling good about where I am from a work perspective.

    Highlights of My Working Day:
    I feel like I was busy but did not accomplish what I wanted today….

  • I had a meeting with one of the presenters from our last forum and gave him feedback on how to push his “concept” to a more practical solution for the members of the forum.
  • I started working on the client deliverable that has been on my mind, but did not get nearly far enough to send to the Director – I was hoping to send him something by end of day today – I will likely want to work on it a bit more when the kids are taking naps on Thursday and Friday – this is really being imposed by me – not by anybody at the company… I’m hoping over time I will get better used to the 50% and actually honor it…. 🙂
  • I had a business development lunch with a potential partner. It was good to connect with her and we may be able to leverage her team for staffing on several proposals we have outstanding.
  • I also had a business development conversation with a potential client relating to a Request for Proposal that we will need to prepare – she indicated that the timeline has shifted to January so that gives us some breathing room to get the proposal prepared.

    • I had an appointment tonight so I am not at home now to care for the kids. I miss them on these nights. It is 7 PM now so they are probably running around and playing after dinner. And talking. And whining. And possibly fighting. I wish I were there to help them in their PJs and talk to them about tomorrow (my day off!!!) but instead I’ll have to suffer through some bread, cheese, chutney, and good wine. Poor me. 🙂

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    OK I just got home and had enough time to sneak into Big Bro and Red’s room as they were talking (instead of going to sleep). They were thrilled to see me. We talked about Thursday and Friday. Big Bro wants to go on a Scooter ride to school tomorrow with me (but didn’t want the Twins there….. hmmmm…. i think he gets embarrassed at school when they are there). Red wants to go to the zoo. And a museum. And trace stickers. Big Bro wants me to read a Dinosaur book. And paint. I need to better plan activities with the older kids for these two days… I’m overbooked already!!!

    Til tomorrow –
    – Mama K

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    November 15: A hard night for some

    November 15, 2011 by 2 Comments

    Today was a day of extremes – either the kids were belly laughing or they were screaming in rage. I either felt in control at work or I felt under the gun. And our routine was out of whack because of an early morning conference call. So, I’m glad that the day is almost finished.

    Highlights of the Morning and Commute:

  • The kids were all up at the same time, and at one point everyone was in Big Bro and Red’s room. The Twins were excited. Red was in a great mood. Big Bro was sluggish. But it was Chocolate Tuesday!
  • I showered quickly and ran downstairs. I was going to take a conference call from home after the kids were already dropped off, and then drive to work — so I didn’t need to do anything with myself in the AM.
  • I helped to get the bags ready, clean up the Twins from oatmeal, dress Red, etc. It all happened very quickly and they were all out of there before I knew it.
  • I took a conference call at 8 AM from home. After the call, I quickly got myself ready and drove into the city.
  • I loved my commute to the city this morning. I remember blasting AC/DC — Dirty Deeds, and Highway to Hell. I got pumped up for the day. It felt good to be mobile. It felt good to me listening to this music and at high volume.

    • Highlights of My Working Day:

  • I had several other conference calls related to the same topic as the call from the morning. Essentially, I am connecting one-on-one with each of the meeting participants to understand from their perspective what worked well, what could have been done differently, and what they want to see out of the next meeting to make that meeting the most valuable to the collective group and to their own organization. Our firm has not done these one-on-one discussions before and they are working out well. It’s also a great way to further and deepen our relationship with these individuals which is always a good thing.
  • I also spent time refining the go-to-market materials for another initiative. I’ll need to reach out to my contacts to describe the change in approach we are taking.
  • I also spent time organizing market interviews for the client project I am working on. We are in deliverable development mode now and I’ve been putting it off. It won’t be hard to do, it’s just hard to start. Once I sit down un-interupted, I should be able to get going on it. I just need the jump-start. This part of my job is always difficult for me – just getting started. Looking at the blank page and knowing that it has to be filled with something intelligent.
  • I spent the rest of the day doing admin items like my timesheet and expenses; and also looking at my workload and hoping that I can become more efficient.

    • Dinner and Bedtime:

  • Since I drove in this morning, I had to drive back from the city. This is what my commute was like (below). Needless to say, I was late getting back to pick up the kids and thank goodness Hubby made the ferry to start the pick-ups. I picked up Red but he got the rest.

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  • We had an “all-orange” dinner tonight. Mac-n-cheese, carrots, and goldfish crackers. The kids thought it was fun. I thought it was easy. I was amazed at the amount of carrots that were consumed.

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  • Twin Husky was climbing everywhere after dinner. Moving his little chair around and standing to grab at counters, turn on/off lights. He was also climbing on the dinner table and on the coffee table. We’ve reached that phase where discipline is necessary and stern “No. That’s not OK”.
  • Red wanted to do a puzzle and finish her mac-n-cheese at the kitchen counter. I helped her with the top of the puzzle as I was multi-tasking with other kids. We did the puzzle 3 or 4 times tonight.
  • I changed Twin Crazy and Twin Husky in PJs and we had a blast. Kissing bellies and playing games with the clothes and tickling them silly. We were laughing so hard that Big Bro asked us to quiet down.
  • Getting them to bed was so easy. They love brushing their teeth and they ABSOLUTELY LOVE their books. They pick out what they want to read and I love the time with them. They are both so interactive. Twin Husky repeats everything I say.
  • Big Bro was watching a movie and threw a tantrum when we said it was bedtime. It was so bad that I had to sit him down and tell him to stop, and look into my eyes and tell him to stop it and to listen and to walk up the stairs for bed. It was rough.

    • So now I sit here, with my throat hurting from laughter, but my nerves also on edge. Maybe I’ll grab a Guinness.

    Til tomorrow –
    – Mama K

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    November 14: All of us getting into a new groove

    November 14, 2011 by Leave a Comment

    Today is a workday in the city after coming off of a 4-day chunk of time with my kids. I feel OK coming into work. One reason is I guess that I actually have a lot to do today. The other reason is that I know it is short – today, tomorrow, and Wednesday. I can do that…. easy shmeasy.

    Highlights of the Morning and Commute:

  • We woke up to Red again singing softly to herself after climbing into our bed. Her sweet voice is the perfect way for me to wake up. She then started to play a game with me about now its “wake up time”. She gently pulls up my eyelid from my eyelashes and peeks into my face, laughing uncontrollably. She keeps doing this, alternating eyes, and then starts doing both at the same time. I was laughing too and it was so sweet of her to help me wake up.
  • Twin Crazy and Twin Husky wake up and I give them their morning hugs and kisses. Twin Husky leans in and out over and over again to softly put his forehead on mine and give me a soft kiss. Too cute.
  • Red proceeds to do a puzzle over and over again until I’m out of the shower and dressed. The rest are downstairs eating. She was waiting for me. She asked me if we could do the puzzle together upstairs later that night. Do it over and over again and spend alot of time doing it. I’ll have to remember that because I said I would. I really take these promises seriously. I don’t like saying something to any of the kids and then not following through. Sometimes I forget, but then they remind me, and then I apologize for forgetting. But I really want them to trust me when I say I’m going to do something.
  • Downstairs was the normal routine. Diaper time – both Twins listened to me without a problem. I love that. I thank them for listening so well to me. Big Bro already dressed himself by himself upstairs before he came down. I made a HUGE deal about this. I gathered Red’s clothes and she seemed OK with what I picked out. It was a very easy morning.
  • Twin Crazy kept sneezing. Each time she would sneeze the snot would be everywhere on her face and she would just stop and look up at me 1/2 smiling but with her mouth shut. I would run for a tissue while Twin Husky would make “ich” sounds which got us all laughing.
  • We were running late so Hubby took Red while I took the Twins and Big Bro. Twin drop off was great; Drop off with Big Bro was great. We actually got there a bit early since there weren’t that many kids in the playground. He was a bit shy as we walked along the playground, and quiet as he went into line. But he looked ready for the day of school.

    • I’m on the ferry now, thinking about my day to come. I have several phone calls related to the client project that we are working – interviews with the market to get a sense of the issues we need to address for our client. These meetings are always so informative. You learn so much more in such a short amount of time versus surfing the web trying to figure it out on your own. I also have to lead a lunch meeting with our team, which was my boss’s suggestion to keep me front and center in firm leadership even though I’m taking a reduced work-week. I think this is a great idea to keep me in people’s minds and also play an active voice with the team. I am thankful for my boss’s foresight into thinking of these potential issues and also coming up with a solution to help me make this new arrangement successful.

    Highlights of My Working Day:
    I was VERY busy today – client work, business development, other initiatives….

  • I had two interviews with market participants related to the one client project that I am currently working. In those two interviews, and with the existing materials we have, and with our own common sense, we have probably 80% of the content that we need for this project. I will need to shift my focus from data gathering to documentation and preparing the client deliverable over the next several days.
  • I finalized a proposal for my client lead; it will be a big project if we win it. I hope we win it!
  • I lead a “lunch meeting” with our team to get our folks together and talk about the work we are doing, any related issues, and things we need to address going forward. One thing is that we have A LOT of proposals in the pipeline. If we win even a few of these projects, we will have a problem with staffing. So we also talked about recruiting efforts underway and also discussed a need to start thinking about ways to fill the staffing gap with contractors that we’ve worked with previously if need be. We talked about ways/tactics to expand our relationships with existing clients. Some things we can put into practice immediately. I also talked about my new working arrangement and how people should be assured that I am flexible if need be and also reachable on my “off days” if anyone needs to talk to me for any reason. Management asked me to lead these meetings so that I am still viewed as an integral part of leadership in the office.

    • There is still alot more that I wanted to accomplish today but did not. I’m finding that these working days are flying by. I want to accomplish so much but have 1/2 the days to do it – I need to recalibrate expectations of myself but also be more efficient with how I schedule my meetings. For example, tomorrow I have 4 1/2 hour meetings scattered throughout the day. It would have been MUCH more efficient to have the meetings back to back for 2 hours and then spend 1 hour to determine the learnings from the meetings. Instead, I’m going to be starting and stopping throughout the day which is much more inefficient and a waste of time. I’ll work on getting better at that in the future.

    So tonight for dinner… hmmmm…. I’m not that prepared. Maybe quesadillas. I need to remember to work with Red on her puzzle tonight since I promised her this morning. I need to help Big Bro find his new “Lightening McQueen” car since he was looking for it this AM. I need to ask Twin Crazy how her nose was today and if she sneezed a lot. I’ll have to come up with something special for Twin Husky too. I don’t want him to be left out of “mommy time.”

    Dinner and Bedtime:

  • I picked up Big Bro first – he was tracing super-hero figures with his friends from books. We then picked up Red. The kids were all playing with pretend food and I went over there saying how yummy it all looked at then sticking all of the pieces of food on my belly. I had quite a pile of food there – tacos, pasta, cheese, ears of corn, etc. etc. and the kids were really getting into it. Red was CRACKING UP. We then picked up Twin Crazy and Twin Husky. I made a big deal out of their big boy/girl sneakers. The sneakers are a bit big for Twin Husky but he seemed to manage well. Both toddlers seemed excited about the sneakers – and Big Bro and Red also chimed in about how cool those sneakers are.

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  • I prepared dinner (pasta) while Big Bro and Red were playing with playdough. Both Twins are getting into a habit of standing on the little chairs or the little table itself to reach up to the counter – a big NO NO. Twin Husky also moves the chair around to get to where he needs to go, like underneath the light switch to turn on and off the lights.
  • I had dinner cooking and wanted to get changed. Twin Crazy seemed needy so I took her up with me. Within 2 minutes I heard a huge crash and Twin Husky crying. Apparently he was standing on the chairs but when I found him he was on the floor tangled in the chairs, wailing. Once i got him unstuck though he seemed fine. Just a little hug and his head on my shoulder briefly did the trick.
  • Dinner was great; all kids were perfectly behaved and ate well.
  • After dinner I got Big Bro to do some homework; got the Twins ready for bed in PJs, got all of their milk together, and started on a puzzle with Red. When Hubby arrived he played with the Twins and then we all got them up to bed rather easily.

    • So it feels like there are some transitions going on with all of us – me and work and trying to figure out how to recalibrate my own expectations as well as getting more efficient; the Twins getting used to new shoes; Big Bro getting used to my “home days” and when I can walk / ride with him to school, Red becoming more and more independent each day.

    We’re settling in but it feels good –

    Til tomorrow –
    – Mama K

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    November 11: Off, but at work?!?!?!?

    November 11, 2011 by Leave a Comment

    Veteran’s Day today. Sometimes it’s hard to keep the meaning of these holidays in mind – I woke up this morning with just the idea that I had all four kids today since Big Bro and Red’s schools were closed. It wasn’t until later at lunch that the meaning came to me since Applebee’s was giving free lunches to Veterans (yes, I’m in the burbs and went to Applebee’s for lunch….).

    Anyway, I was looking forward to the day. I woke up first and was showered and ready to go before kids got up. I made homemade oatmeal which was rejected but all kids even the Twins. All kids were excited about the day. Big Bro and Red were busy packing up their roller-bags for the things they wanted to bring for the day. Big Bro even made sure to pack the “sleeping loveys” for Elena because he knew that she would need them. My grand plan was to go into the city to a HUGE museum that is amazing for kids – I figured I would stop by my office and bring the kids for a quick visit.

    The quick visit to the office turned into 2+ hours. Kids were shy at first but as soon as we did apple juice and fruit the smiles were coming out and the kids were having a blast with everyone; there was lots of chasing, eating, throwing balls, playing with rubber ducks, kisses, squeals, etc. (even my co-workers). One of my colleagues also brought in her 6 year old son so Big Bro made a new friend and they played Legos together. So cute.

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    Twin Husky was hanging on by a thread so I decided to skip the museum and instead take them to lunch closer to home. On the way out, we stopped by Big Bro and Red’s old daycare; the workers there could not believe how big they have grown and could not believe how big Twin Crazy and Twin Husky are – on the way out the kids got side-tracked by the playground.

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    Applebees. The kids love the corn-dogs there. There was a wait because of all of the Veterans. They put us in a great round booth and all the kids ate great. Big Bro and Red both had TWO corndogs each and lots of broccoli. The office visit apparently made them hungry. I received lots of looks from people. “You’ve got your hands full”. I get that all the time – even with just the Twins – but when you add Big Bro and Red into the mix it looks very crazy very quickly. All of the Veterans were saying this to me which I thought was pretty amazing. ME having my hands full? Honestly…. it felt awkward receiving those comments from them. Big Bro and Red had fun maneuvering the stroller through the restaurant and getting lots of smiles.

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    We then took a short shopping trip to Trader Joe’s. I had to pick up more instant oatmeal there since my homemade version was rejected by all. Red was busy pushing the stroller. There was a guy there dressed as a Turkey. The cashier was amazed at the kids and he even said that they were so well behaved for being four of them. I said I kindof rule with strong conviction and he said that he could tell, and that it was good parenting.

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    We got home and all napped from 3 – 5 PM. The Twins were talking and laughing to each other, as usual. It felt good to rest on the couch with Big Bro.

    We had fun at night – playing, jumping, pretending the rug was hot lava, and carrying on. It was a great way to end the day – with lots of belly laughs and my own belly hurting from laughing so much.

    What a great way to end the week – kids all went to bed without any problems; Hubby said I must have worn them out today.

    Great weekend to all –
    Til Monday –
    – Mama K

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    November 10: My “first” day as a stay-at-home Mom

    November 10, 2011 by 4 Comments

    I feel like today starts a brand new chapter in my life. I stayed at home instead of going to the office, and DID NOT WORK while I was at home. I worked as a Mom. There are so many things going through my mind right now, after the end of this day. Why didn’t I do this sooner? Will the novelty wear off? Will I become a better worker because of this time with my children? How will this affect me professionally? How will this affect me as a person? As a mother? As a woman?

    I am now a part-time worker. I’ve committed to working 20 hours per week, for 1/2 of my pay. I will be in the office on Monday and Tuesday, working from home on Wednesday as as a 1/2 day. This gives me quite a lot of time with my kids. The plan now is for me to have the Twins on Thursday and Fridays; and I will have the flexibility to “steal” any of the kids early on Wednesday, as well as Big Bro and Red on Thursday and Fridays as well. Its up to me. It depends on how I feel I’ve connected with each of the kids and if I think a particular child needs more of me. I will have flexibility with the Twins’ current daycare provider to bring them in on Thursday or Friday if I need to.

    From a work perspective, I need to be in the office for two days so I can still be in front of the staff and be part of leadership of the office. I will still coordinate and manage some of our forums, but I am still expected to sell consulting projects and continue to develop/cultivate client relationships. In terms of project delivery, I will serve more of an “advisor” or “director” type role, but for some projects I may have to do some more heavy lifting depending upon our pipeline and workload of our team. We are going to see how this arrangement works over the next few weeks and re-adjust if needed.

    So how did my first day go? There were lots of kisses, hugs, conflict resolution, cooking, playing, tears (not me thank goodness), running, laughing, puzzles, hide and seek, diapering, playing outside and pointing to trees, sneezes, little hands pulling at my legs, cutting fingernails, snacks and holding cups with two hands, coloring, reading, chasing, sleeping, and cleaning. Some aspects of my day were magical. Here are some of the more special moments:

  • I woke up to Red in our bed, singing to herself (or to an imaginary friend?) the ABCs, and then asking him/her if they knew the ABCs, and then her singing softly again. Her voice is like an angel. The way she sings is so sweet. The way she uses inflection when she asks her questions like a little mommy is just too sweet. I really need to capture this on video.
  • I dropped of Big Bro with all of the kids in tow. We parked the van and together crossed the street all holding hands. Once we got to the line I think Big Bro got a bit embarrassed so he came up to me and said that it was time for me to leave. My heart. He always gets a bit anxious when his school and family worlds collide – and I think his gaggle of siblings was a bit much for him. So I honored his request and we walked to the car.
  • I walked to the car with the kids slowly. I was holding Twin Crazy’s hand, and Twin Husky’s hand. Red had Twin Husky’s other hand. We walked slowly. We took our time. There was no rush. We took the crosswalk. I explained the concept of a cross walk to them. I looked up to the sky as I walked with these little hands in my own and I took deep, deep breaths as we walked along. I couldn’t help but smile. My babies are with me. I am not rushing for anybody or anything. We are together. I made a game out of the walk, stopping at each car parked along the road and asking “Is THIS our car??”, and the kids would say “Nooooooooooooo.” After two or three times they understood that I was joking and they all started laughing. We did this for 8 or so cars until we found ours. The kids all listened well, held hands, held still on the sidewalk as I was getting kids inside. I can handle this on my own. I felt strong and liberated at that moment.
  • At snacktime, Twin Crazy and Twin Husky each sat at their little table with their feet hanging down. I sat on the floor next to them, talking to them. Grabbing their feet. Commending them on their ability to drink from a REAL cup with both hands. At one point Twin Husky and I grabbed eye contact and he would not look away. I just sat there staring into his eyes. He still would not look away. He had a big grin on his face. He reached out and touched my eye, my nose. He smiled and laughed under his breath and leaned forward with his head so that his forehead touched mine. I thought this was so sweet. How this interaction happened between us without any words. Just loving looks, and gestures. I couldn’t help but cup his face in my hands and kiss the top of his head. It was a great moment between us.

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  • At about 10 AM both seemed a bit tired; I picked up Twin Husky and he immediately put his head down on my shoulder and his little strong arms engulfed me – his little hands grasping at my shoulders and shirt – holding tight. Cuddling in deep into my body. I swayed with him to the music for about 10 minutes, holding his head and neck like he was an infant, feeling the weight of his body on mine, feeling his cheek against mine, feeling him breathe. After 10 minutes of that he started to struggle away and was ready to play again.
  • When they were going down for their naps, I heard them playing and laughing and cracking up. They do this on weekends too but usually we are also dealing with the other kids so I never really stop to listen. This day I had the opportunity to listen to these twins. How they talk to each other. How they interact and crack each other up. How they misbehave by not going to sleep. I opened the door and both were standing up and immediately dove down into their individual cribs. It was too funny. I also caught a movie of it but am having trouble uploading it to this site.
  • After their naps I could tell that each was having a hard time and were not waking up easily – they did not seem refreshed. So I carried them downstairs and sat with each of them on my lap on a big leather rocking chair and cuddled with each of them, rocking back and forth, not saying a thing. I don’t think I’ve ever done this with both of them. It was awesome.

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  • In the afternoon I gave them some juice and after 5 minutes both of them were running around and I was chasing them and crawling after them and they were hiding and cracking up. It was so much fun. I would kiss their bellies after “getting” them and they would let me and then run away laughing. This went on for 15 minutes or so and I was exhausted afterwards from laughing and chasing.

    • There was so much more that happened during the day – and cute things that happened with Big Bro and Red too, but for now I just want to capture the more magical moments – those that were new to me, or those that just touched me in some way.

    It was a great day.

    Tomorrow is Veteran’s Day and schools are closed. I’m planning on bringing all of them into the city, stopping by work to say hi, and maybe taking them to a museum. We’ll see how it goes. I’m looking forward to it.

    Til tomorrow –
    – Mama K

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    November 9: Busy as a bee

    November 9, 2011 by 2 Comments

    Today we woke up very early, probably due to DST. Twin Husky was singing and woke us up.

    Highlights of the Morning:

    • Twin Husky was singing, along with Twin Crazy, but it was Red who came into our room first. She was talking about the wallet that I helped her make and the pretend money. She was explaining to Hubby that we made a wallet and money together and that Big Bro gave his home-made wallet to Red too, because I had my old wallet up for grabs. So Big Bro is pumped about my old wallet, and Red is thrilled that she has two wallets, one of which is a hand-me-down from Big Bro.
    • I grabbed the Twins from their room. They were busy playing in the cribs, doing dives and jumping and laughing. I changed Twin Crazy since she was soaked through with pee. I need to change the way we do her diapers since now she’s a 100% stomach-sleeper. We’re going through lots of PJs and bedsheets these days.
    • I take a quick shower and then help downstairs with breakfast. Oatmeal is such a hit at hour house that I need to think through a more economical way to do it. We’re going through 4-5 packets of instant per day, between 3 kids. On the weekends I make the homemade stuff which still is fast — the 1 minute cook stuff. And I add brown sugar and butter to make it delicious. I can buy that stuff in bulk at Costco. I want to start doing that during the week too so we can save money and not go through the food so fast.
    • I helped to change Big Bro and Red. Red picked out her clothes the night before which helped. The “carrot” of the childrens’ vitamins after the dressing also helps a bit to get them moving.
    • We were so early today that we all took our drop-offs together. First Red, then Twins, then Big Bro.

    I’m on the ferry now and this will be my last working day of the week. I will be off Thursday and Friday and am looking forward to the time I will be able to spend with the kids. But, today will be VERY busy for me at work. I think it will take some time to get used to this arrangement — for me, my kids, and my colleagues. I am willing to tweak here and there to make it work for everyone.

    I am particularly excited about spending more time with the Twins. Time that I never really had with Big Bro and Red. I want to do arts-and-crafts with them. I want to take them to museums. To “sing-a-longs” at the library. To the park. I mostly just want to sit and talk with them.

    Today at work I will need to work on several proposals — 3 in total. Plus find time to work on my project. Plus find time to close out some loose ends with the meetings that just wrapped up. Plus find time to refine our selling materials for our other service offering that we are developing. I will be working back-to-back all day today and hopefully my time will be efficient so I can feel good about taking off the rest of the week. I can’t drop any balls or else this arrangement will likely have to change…. Through my career I’ve learned to use my Outlook calendar religiously. There are blocks of times for meetings, but I also block out time for myself dedicated to specific work that I need to do. And I’m true to those “bookings” of time. If I need to re-arrange, I do – but I never cancel. If someone needs to schedule a meeting, then based on priority I will have them schedule around my calendar, and schedule something on the next day if needed. This system seems to work well for me.

    Highlights of My Working Day:
    OMG more discussions and I am officially a part-time employee! My day today was VERY compressed and efficient – I essentially was back to back with meetings; I think this will work well for my company, essentially they will get more out of me for each hour I spend…. here are the highlights

    • I read materials for my client project to get a better understanding of the proposed partnership opportunity we will be evaluating; reached out to subject-matter-experts and secured one interview, and am in process of securing at least 2 others. Primary interviews is research where you actually TALK to the market. You typically can learn SO MUCH MORE than you ever could just surfing the web. You need to be prepared for these discussions though…. you need to have your must-have questions fully organized but still be flexible enough to let the conversations flow – this is where you learn and pick up on other aspects of the business that you may not have otherwise. So I’m excited that we are in process of getting these set up. This was client “billable” time for me.
    • I lead a discussion with another relationship that I cultivated and we proposed for strategy consulting work. It was a great conversation and there are some MINOR modifications to the language of our proposal. They really liked what they saw. The only major thing I have left to do is price the effort – which can be tricky. We bid on fixed price projects but sometimes it is difficult to really estimate the level of effort for the project. I will need to focus on that so we can give him the revised proposal with the price estimate on Monday. This is the first of the proposals that resulted from the meetings I lead earlier last month.
    • Had more discussions with my Directors on my reduced work week. All are in support and we worked on a communication plan so that everyone is aware of my availability, reachability. I AM SO EXCITED FOR THIS. They gave me hugs afterwards. I couldn’t ask for a more supportive firm to work for.
    • I had another business development meeting for a separate proposal we will prepare. I consolidated our list of questions and the Director submitted; the potential client will answer these questions and from here we will be able to craft a compelling proposal.
    • I refined/repositioned marketing materials for one of the initiatives I am leading. I will need to restart outreach to solicit potential members next week with these materials.
    • I met with a consultant who drafted a proposal for a lead that I brought in from another meeting from early last month. This is the 2nd proposal resulting from the meetings I lead earlier last month.
    • I worked with our technology team to get my iPhone set up to receive/send work email. Although I will not be working, if I see anything client-related that is urgent I will respond or forward to a colleague as appropriate.

    I AM SO EXCITED! I’m on the ferry now, thinking about what I will do with the Twins tomorrow. I’m planning on taking all four to the museum on Friday since it is Veteran’s Day and school/daycare is closed. My stress level is washing away from my shoulders and I am looking forward to being a mom to my kids.

    Dinner and Bedtime:

    • I picked up Red, then Big Bro, then the Twins.  All were in reasonably good moods.  Whew!
    • As I made dinner, the kids were all drawing.   I like giving them projects so that they are entertained as I am busy.
    • Dinner was pasta with sauce on the side.   Kids were helping me with the other kids.   For example, Red got Big Bro a bowl for his sauce, Big Bro was serving sauce in the bowls, and Red was helping with the Twins.  They really do look out for each other which warms my heart so much.
    • After dinner, there was a mad rush of activity around believe it or not, an Amazon box.   Out of ALL the toys we have in this house, ALL four kids decided that it was the best fun to play inside of this box.  They took turns individually, then as subsets of kids, then even all four of them at the same time.  It was hysterical.
    Four kids and an Amazon box

    Four kids and an Amazon box

    • Then they moved on to the parade:
    • I then got some chocolate milk for everyone to get them to calm down for the evening.  I had a “mommy chocolate milk” (AKA Guinness).  I got Big Bro started on his homework and Red started on a picture while I took the Twins upstairs.    They are so easy.
    • Then we did Big Bro homework and I helped Red color in some pictures.  She is so funny.  She draws squares, and then indicates with a dot within each square the ones that she wants me to color.   She is so decisive and delegates so easily – tells me exactly what I’m supposed to do.  So cute.
    Everyone is upstairs, I am happy with a Guinness already down, and also looking forward to my day tomorrow with the kids.  I’m definitely going to have the Twins – I’m not sure what I feel like doing with Red.   I may have her join the fun as well.
    Til tomorrow –
    – Mama K

     

     

     

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    November 8: So much happening!

    November 8, 2011 by 2 Comments

    Chocolate Tuesday! That meant that Big Bro was up and ready. We woke up to all of the kids up at the same time.

    Highlights of the Morning and Commute:

    • I gave big hugs and kisses to everyone in the morning. This is a little thing that I do without fail, for each of them, every day. I even used to sing a song for it, but now with so many kids it would take too long….
    • At one point in the morning before I got into the shower, I looked at the kids and it was the funniest thing. They were all standing shoulder to shoulder, just watching me as I got my things together to get ready to get to the shower. It was so strange yet so cute. 8 big eyeballs focused on my every movement. I felt like I was on stage. I thought a perfect picture opportunity but by the time I got the camera the older ones (wiser) were out of there and I only had the Twins left in position.
    • Breakfast was great for all; Chocolate Tuesdays are always a bit easier than the other days. Twin Crazy was already dressed but she had oatmeal all down herself. She is getting very particular about being dirty, especially her hands. So she was reasonably upset. I gathered another set of clothes for her and got her changed when she was ready.
    • I gathered clothes for Big Bro and Red and had such a hard time getting them dressed. They kept rejecting the outfits. I know we have better luck when they pick out their clothes, but we will need to do this the night before just for logistics. I’ll try that tonight. Get them to pick out their stuff and I’ll have everything ready downstairs for the next morning.
    • We were running a bit late so we divided the drop offs. Hubby did Big Bro and the Twins. I dropped off Red. We took our time. I had a alot of extra hairbands on my wrist so I had her pick out her hairband for today and also she wanted extras to be kept at school. We wet her hair in her school bathroom and she showed me all of the pottys. And the wall where you line up and wait. She had fun showing me these things. I wet her hair and then I sat her down and took my time putting her hair into a pony-tail. Probably too much time. But I enjoyed this time with her. She then picked out the hairband for me to wear today. She gave me lots of hugs on my way out. I told her I wanted to “bottle them up”. She wouldn’t stop. I then suggested she give her teacher some hugs. That was a good transition for me to leave her room.
    • Her school is closed this Friday so I am looking forward to spending more time with her. I will take the day off if my reduced work-week is not approved by then.

    Now I’m on the ferry, the sun is out but it is cold. I feel like I had sufficient time with Red today but felt rushed with the rest. I feel a bit empty on those mornings when I do not connect with each of them in some special way. I helped Twin Crazy get clean, and joked with Big Bro about how he doesn’t want to kiss or hug me in front of his friends, but poor Twin Husky was a bit out of my reach this morning. I helped him when his leg get stuck in a chair but that was basically it. I’ll want to spend extra time with him tonight.

    For work today, I have several meetings set up but I don’t remember what they are for. I will also need to start on project work, and I really need to close up loose ends with the meetings that just passed. It should be a busy day.

    HIghlights of My Working Day:
    OMG so much happened today that I am really not sure where to begin. I just walked onto the ferry for home with the biggest smile on my face.

    • I had a quick meeting today to plan for a client project that I will be delivering. We talked about potential sources of information and people in the industry that we need to talk to, to get the information we need to complete the project. My colleague also found an AMAZING source document that will be the basis from which to start the work. I was drooling over it. It was the kind of thing that I want to close my door and read and immediately create the working documents that will serve as our deliverable. It was terrific. I will have fun with this project.
    • I also lead a team meeting for a firm initiative that we are partnering with; essentially we need to rethink our approach to our service offering based upon conversations we’ve (I’ve) had with potential members/clients. We need to think through the target audience and also clearly define how our offering will be different from others based upon our new thinking of approach. I put myself on the line to modify our sales materials and distribute to the team so that we can secure more clients to participate in the effort. It was another successful call and I feel hopeful for this initiative. It would involve more meeting planning and travel – but more client facing and relationship building, which I am excited about. I would also get credit for the sales initiative and developing a service offering from scratch.
    • I spent some time looking through a “Request for Proposal” and thinking through our firm’s questions for clarification, which are due on Thursday. The Director has asked me to consolidate the questions and send off to the client by due date — so he is pointing to me to lead the client management for this proposal.
    • I had a discussion with two Directors about my proposal for reduced workweek. Both support what I want to do, but both raise risks/concerns about me being out of sight out of mind. They therefore want me to be in the office for 2 of the 3 working days. They also want me to continue being aggressive with sales – this will be important for my personal development as well as the growth of the office. They see me as part of our office/firm leadership and they want me to make sure that I am aggressive and use my time wisely to be client facing and team facing. They don’t want me to back down on my approach to sales. They think I have what it takes play a bigger role in office management – even with the reduction in work week! I am so psyched about how things are working out for me – they definitely value my contribution and they NEED ME and WANT ME to stay, to continue to grow, and continue to work with our clients to build a strong management presence in our office. So happy. Really. So happy.

    So I am on the ferry now with a huge weight lifted off of my chest. This has been a long time coming. My company has been so patient with me. I have devoted 8 1/2 years to them and had to prove myself in different ways but also prove that I am VALUED, versatile, and willing to work together as a team to think through a working arrangement that will benefit me, my family, my children, and the company. I FEEL LIKE CELEBRATING!!!!!!!!!!

    Hoooo-hummm. But now what do I do for dinner?!?!?!? My poor kiddos. I’ll get better at this, really. What do I do with my Twins this Thursday and Friday?!??!?!?! The zoo, visit to the city, aquarium, hmmmmmm – the possibilities are ENDLESS.

    Dinner and Bedtime:

    • I picked up Red first and for some reason she burst into tears. She must have had a hard day for some reason. The teachers couldn’t really explain it. Then was the pick up for Big Bro and the Twins.
    • I cooked a REALLY quick dinner of mac-n-cheese, frozen peas, and frozen shrimp. Big Bro made “name tags” for the family and set them at the table where each person would sit. Red helped mix the cheese powder with milk. Twin Crazy was busy drinking (and spilling) water out of a cup. Twin Husky was playing with a pot and had some water in it so he felt like he was cooking too. Before you knew it, the dinner was ready and the kids were done eating at 6:15!!!
    • Afterwards we colored (Twins!), did puzzles, ran around with soccer balls, danced, and drank chocolate milk.
    • The Twins love brushing their teeth.
    • Red got upset that I forgot to give her a second half of a banana. My heart broke because of HOW she said it. The anguish in her voice and her face just broke my heart. I had to explain to her that I forgot to give her the other half of the banana — it wasn’t HER, it was ME. I forgot by accident, not on purpose, and that I was so sorry. I held her in the kitchen as she ate a banana and she looked at me with such a smile on her face. I wanted that moment to last so I was slow as I walked her up the stairs.

    Now I’m on the couch thinking back on the day, thinking about tomorrow (I will be quite busy), and also thinking about Thursday and Friday — what to do with the kids?!?!?!?! I’m excited.

    Til tomorrow –
    – Mama K

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    November 7: Back together again!

    November 7, 2011 by 4 Comments

    Back at work after a great weekend with Big Bro, Red, and my father. We woke up to the kids laughing and reuniting with one another, since the Twins came home late last night.

    Highlights of the Morning and Commute:

    • We woke up to children’s  laughter. Big Bro kissing Twin Husky as Twin Husky rolling around on the floor. Giggles. Red running around laughing. Twin Crazy a bit sick so a bit cranky.
    • Everyone was hungry – Twins are now actively asking for what they want with their words, which is making things much easier.
    • Red gives Twin Crazy her new water bottle and Twin Crazy downs half of the water. Red gets upset but I quickly wash the bottle and get her new, fresh water to stem a tantrum from happening.
    • Twins are getting oatmeal all over themselves.
    • Big Bro and Red are busy eating.
    • I help 3 of the 4 to get dressed.
    • We are early so all leave together – 3 drop offs (Red, Twins, Big Bro) and then me an Hubby to the Ferry.

    Today at work I will be starting a new project, forming a plan for a new proposal, and also tying up loose ends from the meetings we recently had.

    Highlights of My Working Day:

    • Today was a day about business development. We had an internal meeting to plan our response to a Request for Proposal, I had a phone conversation with a potential client as a result of our meetings from last month, and I scheduled a phone conversation to discuss our proposal with another potential client as a result of our meetings last week. My goal out of this new role was not only to generate value for our company and the members for these meetings, but also to walk away with potential consulting projects. My goal was three proposals. Now we’re at 2. I have one more to go to reach my personal goal!
    • I also started to organize my thinking around a project we are starting this week – I had the lead contact so I’m feeling responsible for this one.
    • I also started to prepare for some meetings that I will have on Tuesday and Wednesday. I’ve learned through my career to NEVER come to a meeting unprepared. Even having the documents quickly skimmed and some initial questions/reactions is better than nothing. In our company, people remember the meetings where someone does not add anything — then why were they there???!? Not only should you participate, but have your thoughts organized. Contributions should be concise and to the point, otherwise you’re wasting everyone’s time. This gets noticed too.

    I’m now on the commute home – taking the ferry is not as fun when it is cold and gray. And it is cold and gray today. I have some “flat meat” that I bought over the weekend so dinner will be easy.

    Monday’s are always a bit rough for us as a family – and I think tonight will be worse since it will be darker earlier. I envision breakdowns earlier than normal, so am ready to start the bedtime routine earlier if we need to tonight.

    Dinner and Bedtime:

    • I picked up all kids quickly since it was cold and the sun was going down FAST!
    • Dinner took about 10 minutes from start to finish. Flat meat (pork), frozen string-beans zapped in the microwave, and cous-cous. Everyone was at the table eating within 15 minutes!
    • There was lots of fun tonight. I think all the kids were thrilled to be together again. Big Bro acting like a monster under a blanket crawling after his siblings, Red/Twins were doing “downward dog” positions as I cracked up, Twin Crazy didn’t mind me “bulbing” snot out of her nose (she kept laughing), kids were playing with balls all over the place (and then we made a game about working together to clean them up), and even puzzles.

    • There were only a few accidents. Red hit her head on an open drawer. Twin Husky took a swing at a bat and hit Red in the head by accident. Kids were tripping over Big Bro as he was pretending to be a monster under the blanket. And the Twins kept trying to do puzzles but really they were just running around with puzzle pieces getting everyone else anxious.
    • Twins had fun brushing their teeth and reading books. They gave each other kisses and went to bed quickly, saying “Nite nite” over and over again. Too cute.
    • Bedtime routine was terribly long for Big Bro and Red. A lot of time was devoted to “homework” which we probably should move up earlier in the evening.

    It was a fine Monday; I’m feeling pretty relaxed and enjoying my iPad and iPhone. It makes blogging and adding pictures much more fun and efficient.

    Till tomorrow –
    – Mama K

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    November 4: Back home!

    November 4, 2011 by Leave a Comment

    This morning I wore a newly purchased outfit and finished up our meeting.   I had to leave a bit early to catch my flight home, but I made a point to personally say goodbye to each of the clients that I met on this trip.   All in all, it was a good trip.  I had time to myself to relax and soak in life.  I also had a good time with the meetings and things were relatively interesting.  I had amazing food and even came home with jackets and trousers to round out my wardrobe.

    I missed my children but I knew I would have some extra time with them today since I took an earlier flight back.   I met my dad at home and walked into a house that smelled of a roast cooking.   Together we walked to pick up the Twins.   It was so sweet reuniting with them.   Twin Crazy was jumping up and down and jumping on me and throwing her arms around my neck.  Twin Husky was excited, but he was playing “cool”.   My dad was with us so they also thought that was interesting.   They are not used to being picked up early.   Twin Crazy was busy scaling up the stroller to get in – Twin Husky was hesitant – it seemed like he wanted to stay there and play a bit.   I feel like both have changed somewhat in the 3 days I’ve been away.  Twin Husky looks bigger to me.   Twin Crazy seems more expressive. Both are adorable and my dad (a Twin himself) is so proud to be the grandfather of twins.

    We then went to pick up Big Bro.  He was happy to see Pop Pop and also happy to hear that his new bike lock came in the mail.   We all walked home together.  He held my hand and talked about the past few days to fill me in on what I missed.  Apparently Twin Crazy unwrapped a lollipop and ate it.   So cute.   It was a beautiful day.  We passed a playground but Big Bro wanted to get home quickly instead.

    Pop pop stayed back with the kids while I picked up Red.   Her face was beaming.  I love that child to pieces.   We walked in and she immediately ran to Pop pop.  He has a way with her.   They are always goofy together.    We had a great dinner, then all sat down to Shrek and some popcorn.

    The kids are all in bed now — I think sufficiently exhausted.  I think my dad’s exhausted too.   We’re going to sit back and relax for a bit now and will likely call it a night early.   My dad only has tomorrow and will leave very early on Sunday morning.    We will be with Big Bro and Red, while Hubby heads to his folks’ place with the Twins.

    I’m not sure what we’ll do tomorrow, but I bet there will be some time devoted to Big Bro’s bike and his new bike lock.

    Till next week –
    – Mama K

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    November 3: Managing just fine being away, sometimes, well… not really.

    November 3, 2011 by Leave a Comment

    Today I am away from home for work.   I arrived yesterday, and will go back home tomorrow.   First of all, I need to describe to you the hotel I’m at – think water fountains everywhere, HUGE comfy bed, spa, pools, ocean view from my private balcony.    I am not used to living like this.   I am not used to the quiet.   I immediately signed up for spa services yesterday when I arrived, knowing that I would not have an opportunity to take advantage of them the rest of the trip.    The picture below briefly documents the type of experience – whirlpools, spa, massage.  Bliss.

     

    Today we had an all day meeting with several speakers and the audience were various clients.   I was not responsible for leading or facilitating this meeting, unlike the others where I had full responsibility.   So this was really a look and learn experience for me, as well as client management/ relationship building/ “making people feel comfortable” role.    I learned a lot, as usual.  I connected with old faces and new faces.   My force of personality makes me comfortable in these situations.   I like meeting new people.  I like connecting with them on some level.   And I particularly like doing this when not under pressure.

    During a break I reviewed and sent out a draft proposal for consulting services, for a lead that I cultivated.   Hopefully he will agree on the scope and approach so that we may price it accordingly – I hope we win this one.   I also arranged/accepted various meetings for the upcoming week.

    After the day long meeting I decided to go shopping.   I think I grabbed the last of the “must have” pieces for my new wardrobe.   Is the “Year of [Mama K]” shopping spree over?   I’m not sure yet….

    I had a  fabulous dinner and then finished the evening next to a fire-pit with s’mores, with our clients, talking about traveling, families, and tragedies like 9/11.

    This was not the best way to end my evening.   I’m already on shaking ground in terms of outlook and this just reinforced my feelings of unhappiness and anxiety.  I am so scared.  Scared for me, my family and my children.   Scared that I cannot provide the kind of life and opportunities that I should for them.   Scared to pull back from work, frightened that as a family we are not using good judgement for the choices that we should make for the sake of these children.  Scared that we are not living by the mantra of “family first”.   I need to feel like we are doing everything we should for these kids.  And now I just want to curl up and go to sleep, and stop thinking about these things, because so many of these choices are not within my control.

    On that note I will finish the day and hope that tomorrow is better; it has to be — I will be re-united with my kids.   🙂

    Til tomorrow

    -Mama K

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