Random Thoughts: Cyber Monday!

November 29, 2011 by 1 Comment

So, Cyber Monday came and went. And from what I can tell, it was a big deal for retailers and actual shopping exceeded many’s expectations.

I did not participate in it since I’m trying to tone down my shopping sprees. I KNEW that if I started with holiday shopping for kids (rational purchases), I would go overboard with items for myself (irrational purchases, considering the amount of stuff I’ve purchased for myself over this last year — refer to my post “Staying Sane: 41 ideas for yourself”).

So I’m curious about our shopping activities of our audience. Some questions for you:

Way to go ladies! Kuddos for stimulating the economy, creating jobs, and helping to close the Federal deficit!! Job well done!!

Thank you for (playing) participating!!!

– Mama K

Filed Under: Random Thoughts Tagged With: , , , , , , , , ,

Staying Sane: Developing Traditions

November 13, 2011 by 2 Comments

I’ve been writing about Chocolate Tuesdays in my daily journals and I also recently wrote about a rainy weekend when I took the kids out for ice-cream. I received a request from a fellow Mama to spend some time writing on this subject and also getting feedback from our Mama In Motion community on traditions that they do with their families, no matter how big or how small. This really does help keep sanity. It helps to promote stability and respect and positions the family as a unit, versus individuals “at odds” with one another. And this is perfect timing….

Some of our day-to-day traditions:

  • I do “hugs and kisses in the morning” each and every morning with each of the kids. When Big Bro and Red were little babies, I used to make a song of it; but now at least its a round of hugs and kisses for each child and a big “good morning” for each of them.
  • I also play a “love” game with the kids – I try to do daily with Big Bro and REd, and would like to start it with the Twins now too since their old enough to get it. It goes like this: Me: “Did I tell you yet today how much I love you?!?!?”. Kid: “No” (or sometimes they say yes mommy…”. Me: “I love you so much that I am going to [kiss your ear], [pull your toe], [squeeze your nose], [mess up your hair], [tickle your belly] etc. etc. etc. And then as I do these things I say “THAT’s how much I love you, I love you, I love you so much…..”. It really is fun, because they know the game but don’t know how I’m going to express my love, whether its picking them up and spinning around, or chasing them, etc. They also do it back to me from time to time.
  • Each day and in relation to school/pre-school, I ask each kid to make sure that they 1) learn something new today; 2) exercise their bodies; and 3) laugh really hard about something. Then at the end of the day I ask them questions about what they did today to learn something new, exercise, and tell me a funny thing that made them laugh.
  • Chocolate Tuesdays – I found Nutella as another breakfast option that is really easy to put on bagels, toast, tortillas, etc. A good source of protein since it is made of hazelnut – and the kids love it because it really does taste like chocolately goodness. The problem was that they wanted it all the time. So we asked them to pick only ONE morning to have it – that day was a Tuesday so of course Big Bro suggested Tuesdays. So the tradition was borne.

    • 20111113-181816.jpg

  • Movie Fridays – as a family we are a bit restrictive on the kids watching TV. Big Bro is the kind of kid that if he watches something in the day he will waste the day away (like me). So we have one night devoted to movies and popcorn: Friday nights. We love it as a family. Even the Twins now are getting into the popcorn even if they don’t have the attention span for the whole movie. I have lots of pictures of the four of them lined up on the couch eating popcorn and mesmerized by the movie – although this is fleeting and Red and the Twins tend to get bored and move on to other activities.
  • Saturday AM pancakes
  • Sunday AM waffles
  • Bathtime/ showertime is big in our house. We may not be able to do it as frequently as we would like, but all of the kids together is too much fun. The four kids used to bathe together in the one big HUGE tub in our room; now Big Bro takes a shower while the other 3 take a bath together. They LOVE it.
  • If the kids eat “two colors” at dinner, they get chocolate milk afterwards. I tell them that they have to listen to their body to know if they are full or not. I don’t force them to eat. But they must at least try two colors of food to get the milk at the other end.

    • Bigger traditions:

  • Christmas Eve: We make home-made pasta together. This is something my grandmother used to do whenever we would visit her, but I wanted to make it a tradition on Christmas eve. The thought is that we can make homemade linquinine or other shapes, and then diversify year by year with different sauces. It is hard work and takes time (even with a Kitchenaide mixer), but my thought is that as the kids get older, they will take over and with four of them they will be able to work together to get the job done faster, or at least switch off when they get tired.
  • Christmas eve: we also bake Chocolate Chip cookies during the day for Santa. We leave these out at night along with a cup of milk and carrots for the reindeer. We take baths and get into our chistmas pajamas, take pictures by the tree, and I have each of the kids draw a picture for Santa. It is the cutest thing to see each of them in their PJs busy at work, creating a special picture for Santa. In years past we’ve had pictures of airplanes, choo-choo trains, circles, and scribbles. I think it will be wonderful for them to have when they get older… so they get to see what meant so much to them when they were little and how they gifted their creativity to Santa each and every year while they believed.
  • Each year right before 9/11, we go to the store and buy gifts for the firefighters. We wrap them up and then on the day of 9/11 we visit the firestation and give them their gifts. Last year we got a crazy tour of the truck, they got to go inside the truck, and we all got a tour of the fire-house.
  • For Easter, the easter bunny not only gives them candy, but also TOOTHBRUSHES. The kids absolutely love getting them in their baskets.
  • We also do TOOTHBRUSHES in stocking stuffers at christmas time.

    • Things I’m thinking of:

  • With four kids, I’m thinking of having a poliana at Christmastime that the kids can do with each other.
  • Also with so many kids, I’m thinking of toning down Christmas (to one gift each) and spending the real celebration on their birthdays – which are more meaningful to me. The thought of celebrating a person’s life…. the fact that they are who they are…. and celebrating their uniqueness and what they mean to you, seems so much more worthy in my mind than the pile of presents at Christmastime for EACH child….

    • What are some of YOUR traditions? Big or small — share them all!!!!

    Filed Under: Staying Sane Tagged With: , , , , , , ,

    November 10: My “first” day as a stay-at-home Mom

    November 10, 2011 by 4 Comments

    I feel like today starts a brand new chapter in my life. I stayed at home instead of going to the office, and DID NOT WORK while I was at home. I worked as a Mom. There are so many things going through my mind right now, after the end of this day. Why didn’t I do this sooner? Will the novelty wear off? Will I become a better worker because of this time with my children? How will this affect me professionally? How will this affect me as a person? As a mother? As a woman?

    I am now a part-time worker. I’ve committed to working 20 hours per week, for 1/2 of my pay. I will be in the office on Monday and Tuesday, working from home on Wednesday as as a 1/2 day. This gives me quite a lot of time with my kids. The plan now is for me to have the Twins on Thursday and Fridays; and I will have the flexibility to “steal” any of the kids early on Wednesday, as well as Big Bro and Red on Thursday and Fridays as well. Its up to me. It depends on how I feel I’ve connected with each of the kids and if I think a particular child needs more of me. I will have flexibility with the Twins’ current daycare provider to bring them in on Thursday or Friday if I need to.

    From a work perspective, I need to be in the office for two days so I can still be in front of the staff and be part of leadership of the office. I will still coordinate and manage some of our forums, but I am still expected to sell consulting projects and continue to develop/cultivate client relationships. In terms of project delivery, I will serve more of an “advisor” or “director” type role, but for some projects I may have to do some more heavy lifting depending upon our pipeline and workload of our team. We are going to see how this arrangement works over the next few weeks and re-adjust if needed.

    So how did my first day go? There were lots of kisses, hugs, conflict resolution, cooking, playing, tears (not me thank goodness), running, laughing, puzzles, hide and seek, diapering, playing outside and pointing to trees, sneezes, little hands pulling at my legs, cutting fingernails, snacks and holding cups with two hands, coloring, reading, chasing, sleeping, and cleaning. Some aspects of my day were magical. Here are some of the more special moments:

  • I woke up to Red in our bed, singing to herself (or to an imaginary friend?) the ABCs, and then asking him/her if they knew the ABCs, and then her singing softly again. Her voice is like an angel. The way she sings is so sweet. The way she uses inflection when she asks her questions like a little mommy is just too sweet. I really need to capture this on video.
  • I dropped of Big Bro with all of the kids in tow. We parked the van and together crossed the street all holding hands. Once we got to the line I think Big Bro got a bit embarrassed so he came up to me and said that it was time for me to leave. My heart. He always gets a bit anxious when his school and family worlds collide – and I think his gaggle of siblings was a bit much for him. So I honored his request and we walked to the car.
  • I walked to the car with the kids slowly. I was holding Twin Crazy’s hand, and Twin Husky’s hand. Red had Twin Husky’s other hand. We walked slowly. We took our time. There was no rush. We took the crosswalk. I explained the concept of a cross walk to them. I looked up to the sky as I walked with these little hands in my own and I took deep, deep breaths as we walked along. I couldn’t help but smile. My babies are with me. I am not rushing for anybody or anything. We are together. I made a game out of the walk, stopping at each car parked along the road and asking “Is THIS our car??”, and the kids would say “Nooooooooooooo.” After two or three times they understood that I was joking and they all started laughing. We did this for 8 or so cars until we found ours. The kids all listened well, held hands, held still on the sidewalk as I was getting kids inside. I can handle this on my own. I felt strong and liberated at that moment.
  • At snacktime, Twin Crazy and Twin Husky each sat at their little table with their feet hanging down. I sat on the floor next to them, talking to them. Grabbing their feet. Commending them on their ability to drink from a REAL cup with both hands. At one point Twin Husky and I grabbed eye contact and he would not look away. I just sat there staring into his eyes. He still would not look away. He had a big grin on his face. He reached out and touched my eye, my nose. He smiled and laughed under his breath and leaned forward with his head so that his forehead touched mine. I thought this was so sweet. How this interaction happened between us without any words. Just loving looks, and gestures. I couldn’t help but cup his face in my hands and kiss the top of his head. It was a great moment between us.

    • 20111110-212140.jpg

  • At about 10 AM both seemed a bit tired; I picked up Twin Husky and he immediately put his head down on my shoulder and his little strong arms engulfed me – his little hands grasping at my shoulders and shirt – holding tight. Cuddling in deep into my body. I swayed with him to the music for about 10 minutes, holding his head and neck like he was an infant, feeling the weight of his body on mine, feeling his cheek against mine, feeling him breathe. After 10 minutes of that he started to struggle away and was ready to play again.
  • When they were going down for their naps, I heard them playing and laughing and cracking up. They do this on weekends too but usually we are also dealing with the other kids so I never really stop to listen. This day I had the opportunity to listen to these twins. How they talk to each other. How they interact and crack each other up. How they misbehave by not going to sleep. I opened the door and both were standing up and immediately dove down into their individual cribs. It was too funny. I also caught a movie of it but am having trouble uploading it to this site.
  • After their naps I could tell that each was having a hard time and were not waking up easily – they did not seem refreshed. So I carried them downstairs and sat with each of them on my lap on a big leather rocking chair and cuddled with each of them, rocking back and forth, not saying a thing. I don’t think I’ve ever done this with both of them. It was awesome.

    • 20111110-212312.jpg

  • In the afternoon I gave them some juice and after 5 minutes both of them were running around and I was chasing them and crawling after them and they were hiding and cracking up. It was so much fun. I would kiss their bellies after “getting” them and they would let me and then run away laughing. This went on for 15 minutes or so and I was exhausted afterwards from laughing and chasing.

    • There was so much more that happened during the day – and cute things that happened with Big Bro and Red too, but for now I just want to capture the more magical moments – those that were new to me, or those that just touched me in some way.

    It was a great day.

    Tomorrow is Veteran’s Day and schools are closed. I’m planning on bringing all of them into the city, stopping by work to say hi, and maybe taking them to a museum. We’ll see how it goes. I’m looking forward to it.

    Til tomorrow –
    – Mama K

    Filed Under: Daily Journal Tagged With: , , , , , , ,

    November 8: So much happening!

    November 8, 2011 by 2 Comments

    Chocolate Tuesday! That meant that Big Bro was up and ready. We woke up to all of the kids up at the same time.

    Highlights of the Morning and Commute:

    • I gave big hugs and kisses to everyone in the morning. This is a little thing that I do without fail, for each of them, every day. I even used to sing a song for it, but now with so many kids it would take too long….
    • At one point in the morning before I got into the shower, I looked at the kids and it was the funniest thing. They were all standing shoulder to shoulder, just watching me as I got my things together to get ready to get to the shower. It was so strange yet so cute. 8 big eyeballs focused on my every movement. I felt like I was on stage. I thought a perfect picture opportunity but by the time I got the camera the older ones (wiser) were out of there and I only had the Twins left in position.
    • Breakfast was great for all; Chocolate Tuesdays are always a bit easier than the other days. Twin Crazy was already dressed but she had oatmeal all down herself. She is getting very particular about being dirty, especially her hands. So she was reasonably upset. I gathered another set of clothes for her and got her changed when she was ready.
    • I gathered clothes for Big Bro and Red and had such a hard time getting them dressed. They kept rejecting the outfits. I know we have better luck when they pick out their clothes, but we will need to do this the night before just for logistics. I’ll try that tonight. Get them to pick out their stuff and I’ll have everything ready downstairs for the next morning.
    • We were running a bit late so we divided the drop offs. Hubby did Big Bro and the Twins. I dropped off Red. We took our time. I had a alot of extra hairbands on my wrist so I had her pick out her hairband for today and also she wanted extras to be kept at school. We wet her hair in her school bathroom and she showed me all of the pottys. And the wall where you line up and wait. She had fun showing me these things. I wet her hair and then I sat her down and took my time putting her hair into a pony-tail. Probably too much time. But I enjoyed this time with her. She then picked out the hairband for me to wear today. She gave me lots of hugs on my way out. I told her I wanted to “bottle them up”. She wouldn’t stop. I then suggested she give her teacher some hugs. That was a good transition for me to leave her room.
    • Her school is closed this Friday so I am looking forward to spending more time with her. I will take the day off if my reduced work-week is not approved by then.

    Now I’m on the ferry, the sun is out but it is cold. I feel like I had sufficient time with Red today but felt rushed with the rest. I feel a bit empty on those mornings when I do not connect with each of them in some special way. I helped Twin Crazy get clean, and joked with Big Bro about how he doesn’t want to kiss or hug me in front of his friends, but poor Twin Husky was a bit out of my reach this morning. I helped him when his leg get stuck in a chair but that was basically it. I’ll want to spend extra time with him tonight.

    For work today, I have several meetings set up but I don’t remember what they are for. I will also need to start on project work, and I really need to close up loose ends with the meetings that just passed. It should be a busy day.

    HIghlights of My Working Day:
    OMG so much happened today that I am really not sure where to begin. I just walked onto the ferry for home with the biggest smile on my face.

    • I had a quick meeting today to plan for a client project that I will be delivering. We talked about potential sources of information and people in the industry that we need to talk to, to get the information we need to complete the project. My colleague also found an AMAZING source document that will be the basis from which to start the work. I was drooling over it. It was the kind of thing that I want to close my door and read and immediately create the working documents that will serve as our deliverable. It was terrific. I will have fun with this project.
    • I also lead a team meeting for a firm initiative that we are partnering with; essentially we need to rethink our approach to our service offering based upon conversations we’ve (I’ve) had with potential members/clients. We need to think through the target audience and also clearly define how our offering will be different from others based upon our new thinking of approach. I put myself on the line to modify our sales materials and distribute to the team so that we can secure more clients to participate in the effort. It was another successful call and I feel hopeful for this initiative. It would involve more meeting planning and travel – but more client facing and relationship building, which I am excited about. I would also get credit for the sales initiative and developing a service offering from scratch.
    • I spent some time looking through a “Request for Proposal” and thinking through our firm’s questions for clarification, which are due on Thursday. The Director has asked me to consolidate the questions and send off to the client by due date — so he is pointing to me to lead the client management for this proposal.
    • I had a discussion with two Directors about my proposal for reduced workweek. Both support what I want to do, but both raise risks/concerns about me being out of sight out of mind. They therefore want me to be in the office for 2 of the 3 working days. They also want me to continue being aggressive with sales – this will be important for my personal development as well as the growth of the office. They see me as part of our office/firm leadership and they want me to make sure that I am aggressive and use my time wisely to be client facing and team facing. They don’t want me to back down on my approach to sales. They think I have what it takes play a bigger role in office management – even with the reduction in work week! I am so psyched about how things are working out for me – they definitely value my contribution and they NEED ME and WANT ME to stay, to continue to grow, and continue to work with our clients to build a strong management presence in our office. So happy. Really. So happy.

    So I am on the ferry now with a huge weight lifted off of my chest. This has been a long time coming. My company has been so patient with me. I have devoted 8 1/2 years to them and had to prove myself in different ways but also prove that I am VALUED, versatile, and willing to work together as a team to think through a working arrangement that will benefit me, my family, my children, and the company. I FEEL LIKE CELEBRATING!!!!!!!!!!

    Hoooo-hummm. But now what do I do for dinner?!?!?!? My poor kiddos. I’ll get better at this, really. What do I do with my Twins this Thursday and Friday?!??!?!?! The zoo, visit to the city, aquarium, hmmmmmm – the possibilities are ENDLESS.

    Dinner and Bedtime:

    • I picked up Red first and for some reason she burst into tears. She must have had a hard day for some reason. The teachers couldn’t really explain it. Then was the pick up for Big Bro and the Twins.
    • I cooked a REALLY quick dinner of mac-n-cheese, frozen peas, and frozen shrimp. Big Bro made “name tags” for the family and set them at the table where each person would sit. Red helped mix the cheese powder with milk. Twin Crazy was busy drinking (and spilling) water out of a cup. Twin Husky was playing with a pot and had some water in it so he felt like he was cooking too. Before you knew it, the dinner was ready and the kids were done eating at 6:15!!!
    • Afterwards we colored (Twins!), did puzzles, ran around with soccer balls, danced, and drank chocolate milk.
    • The Twins love brushing their teeth.
    • Red got upset that I forgot to give her a second half of a banana. My heart broke because of HOW she said it. The anguish in her voice and her face just broke my heart. I had to explain to her that I forgot to give her the other half of the banana — it wasn’t HER, it was ME. I forgot by accident, not on purpose, and that I was so sorry. I held her in the kitchen as she ate a banana and she looked at me with such a smile on her face. I wanted that moment to last so I was slow as I walked her up the stairs.

    Now I’m on the couch thinking back on the day, thinking about tomorrow (I will be quite busy), and also thinking about Thursday and Friday — what to do with the kids?!?!?!?! I’m excited.

    Til tomorrow –
    – Mama K

    Filed Under: Daily Journal Tagged With: , , , , , , ,

    Staying Sane: Ice-cream in the Rain

    November 6, 2011 by 4 Comments

    What I enjoy most these days are those special moments when time almost stands still and your brain starts to actually think like a child’s.

    This happened over the weekend.    After lots of activities in the morning (buying new pajamas, hitting baseballs, kicking soccer balls), both Big Bro and Red had VERY long naps – this likely had to do with the cold weather and the pouring rain.  After they both got up we all decided to go out for dinner.   I wanted to start a tradition.   On weekends if it is raining and if the kids are good I want to take them out for ice-cream.

    We gathered our rain gear, headed out for dinner (kids still in pajamas), and then braved the weather with inside-out umbrellas on the way to get ice-cream.

    Thinking like a child.  Getting excited for the big treat.   The adventure in the rain.  Holding the umbrella.   Not realizing that it will go inside-out from the wind and getting a big surprise when it does.   Walking through the rivers of rain.   Feeling the chill in the air and not caring.   Getting picked up to see the ice-cream flavors.    Looking at all of the colors… wondering which one to pick.   Sitting next to Pop-Pop on a Saturday night with the ice-cream shop filled with people.   Knowing it is silly wearing pajamas outside of the house.  Wearing a cat raincoat and loving it.   Not minding sticky hands or a sticky face.     Being 3.  Being 5.    Reaching up to hold a hand as we cross the street – wind blowing the cold rain.   Home.   Sweetness.   Cuddles on the couch.  Kisses goodbye and sleep.

    This was one of the glimpses of childhood that I had the joy of experiencing over the weekend.   A memory I will likely replay to balance future days when I need to.

    Filed Under: Staying Sane Tagged With: , , , , , ,

    October 24: Giggles at 5:30 AM

    October 24, 2011 by 1 Comment

    Today is the first day back from a 10 day vacation and a day at home yesterday with my kids, solo. We decided to go shopping for Halloween crafts and spent the day building haunted houses and decorating plastic pumpkins with stickers. So cute. They generally worked together, except for Twin Husky who was just wanting to get into things and throw things around. Big Bro was so excited about his costume (Batman) that he wore it all day yesterday and slept in it last night. Last year, he did this for the entire month of October in his Spiderman costume.

    Highlights of the Morning and Commute:

    • We are still on East Coast time. Twin Husky was the first to get up at 5:30. Then Red came into our room at 6:15. They were quiet at first, but then they started interacting with each other and playing that I could hardly contain my laughter. Red was trying to get Twin Husky to say different words…. and he would try to repeat everything that she said. And she used inflection in her voice like a little teacher. After that, she began singing “Row Row Row Your Boat” while he held on to her feet — “Hold on to my feets, my two feets”…. and then she was singing Ring around the Rosie”. Twin Husky knew the tunes and I think some of the words and he tried to sing along too. They were both cracking up within minutes. I was smiling in the dark and trying my best not to giggle, or even chime in with their tunes. This was a great way to start my morning.
    • Our routine was standard; dressed for work while on the floor changing poopy diapers, negotiating with kids to get their clothes on, packing clothes bags for the week for the Twins, etc. etc. etc. Big Bro was excited about bringing in his haunted house to school so he was the first one dressed, fed, and ready to go. Then Red wanted to bring something to school too. So we packaged up a ziplock bag of pumpkin stickers. She was now excited too and ready to head to the van.
    • We had our normal 3 different drop offs for the kids; I feel like a shuttle bus. I also dropped Hubby off at the ferry. I am working from home now since I’m waiting for an important package to arrive; but I will later drive to the office and hopefully get there by 11 AM.
    Highlights of my Working Day:
    • At home, a start a pot of coffee, dry my hair, and pop in a Trader Joe’s egg quiche (these things are awesome, in moderation. I like to have several of these in the freezer on days when I work from home. They cook in 2.5 minutes and then you are full and ready to get things done. Much better than having to cook for yourself in the morning.
    • I then go to Safeway.com and order food for the house. We literally have no food in here. I think we have two lemons, some jelly, and canned goods. I have no idea what Hubby was able to manage for their packed lunches today.
    • I check work email and start to respond to what I can, easily. I get rid of all the junk and flag the mails for follow up. This took some time since I was away for 10 days (I go OFF THE GRID when I am on vacation and on weekends…. folks at work know this about me).
    • Then the moment arrives. Just as expected, and right on time. THE UPS MAN ARRIVED WITH MY NEW IPHONE!!!!!! I was literally jumping up and down and up and down saying “it’s here! It’s here! Yeah!!! I stayed at home for this! It’s here!”. Think back to the movie “The Jerk” with Steve Martin when he got all crazy about the new phone book. Well, that was me when I signed for the iPhone from UPS.
    • After setting up the iPhone, I drove in to work. This is unusual for me but the iPhone kindof put a wrinkle in my normal routine. I LOVED blasting my music on the way in and probably driving a little too fast.
    • I spent the rest of the afternoon reaching out to conference participants, sending out materials and presentations, and getting ready for the next meeting to be held next week. I also followed up with 4 different business development opportunities, one of which was a potential client from one of the last big meetings — instead of joining the membership of the forum, he specifically reached out to me for consulting work related to our area of expertise. This was a goal of mine…. sign new members to the forums AS WELL AS generate proposals from the meetings. I AM PSYCHED. I need to schedule a call with him and after I post this I’ll need to get on to work email to get that set up.
    • I ran out of work at 4:15 to drive back and pick up Big Bro; I essentially worked a 1/2 day today. I need to figure out my reduced workweek schedule and get that put in place. I’m excited about the prospect of doing so – I’ve been at the company for over 8 years and they are willing to work with me to arrange something more manageable for a burnt-out consultant with four small kids.
    • I take the opportunity to go shopping for halloween shirts for the kids. This is something I completely forgot about this year. Last year I was so on top of things… shirts were ordered for all kids and they were excited about them. This year everything is just springing up by surprise. Old Navy did the trick. I stopped in “The Spirit Halloween” store and THANK GOODNESS I did not take the kids there over the weekend like I intended. The place was so spooky it even scared the crap out of me with the “Friday the 13th” music and all of the moving dead people. Creepy. I love it.

      • 20111024-090558.jpg

    • I picked up Big Bro and grabbed the van. He made a quick change into his Batman costume and then we picked up Hubby at Ferry Station, then Red, then Twins. I guess we’ll be seeing Batman all this week and possibly even after Halloween.
    Dinner and Bedtime:
    • We had NOTHING in our refrigerator to eat. Safeway food was not arriving until tomorrow. I broke out frozen bagels and leftover chicken and that’s what we had. The kids enjoyed themselves. Now we just have to get through breakfast (cereal, all OK) and lunch….
    • Our mother’s helper arrived and she almost fainted at the amount of clothes that needed to be folded and organized from our trip.
    • The rest of the night just disappeared. Twin Husky was doing alot of climbing. Climbing on the toy refrigerator set, climbing on the kiddie table, coffee table, etc. The kid is getting very squirmy and wirey and moves around non-stop.
    • Bedtime was uneventful, thank goodness. All kids are now enjoying brushing their teeth, now even the Twins. They both showed me how they brush their teeth and then let me help them finish up their work. I had them both giggling with pride.

    So now I’m exhausted in bed, still on East Coast time myself, thinking about the day. It was 1/2 work 1/2 my time, but I am still very tired. But I’m not feeling stressed or tense. I’m thinking it still has to do with the time change adjustment. I do have to check on some work, but it won’t be much. And then I can have the rest of the evening to play with my new toy iPhone and figure out how to Tweet….

    Til tomorrow –
    – Mama K

    Filed Under: Daily Journal Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , ,

    Staying Sane: Are you speaking your child’s “Love Language”???

    October 2, 2011 by 3 Comments

    What is Your Child's Love Language?

    What is Your Child's Love Language?

    We all know that our kids are unique individuals.   Despite being created from the same set of genetic material, their personalities, despositions, strenghts and quirks are all so unique.   We know this already.   We are the mothers to these unique children — who are really just little people.

    Do you ever feel like you are just not connecting with your little one, thus creating friction between you and he/she?   Or do you wonder if you should be interacting differently with your child to make your relationship stronger?

    I think one way to help you “stay sane” is to give your child your love in the way he/she naturally desires to receive it.   Let me explain…

    For those who are not familiar with the “5 Love Languages” by Gary Chapman, I highly recommend getting this book for the sake of the relationships around you — it boils down to a theory that each individual has one or two distinct “love languages” that are favored over the others.   So for these people, the way they naturally express love aligns with those languages, and the way that FEEL love also aligns with those languages.    The implications to this run even deeper — a person may be VERY loved by another individual, but if “the lover” is not showing their love in the recipient’s primary love language, the recipient may actually not even notice the efforts of the “lover”, but even worse, they may feel totally unloved.  All of the languages are meaningful to you in one way or another, its just that each person has one or two that dominate the rest.   The languages include:

    • Words of Affirmation
    • Quality Time
    • Receiving Gifts
    • Acts of Service
    • Physical Touch
    I found this to be very enlightening with the relationships around me; I was so intrigued that I wanted to do more research and found the authors website where he has tools where you can answer simple questions to identify your primary love languages — go to this link.   The answers really shouldn’t be a surprise to you.   BUT HERE IS THE AMAZING THING….. you will notice at the above link that there are also assessments for your CHILDREN (one for teenagers, one for smaller children).
    I found this to be extraordinary and potentially very powerful.  Big Bro is over 5 so we did the test with him.  His primary love languages were Quality Time and Receiving Gifts (no surprise here, he is five!).   This was VERY useful information for me.   So now I know how best to communicate to him that I love and cherish him.   I can do things that speak his love language.    I’m sure he also adores the hugs and kisses that I give him non-stop (my love language is Physical Touch), but for him, he would rather spend quality time with me.   I’ve even heard him say this.  “Mommy… why aren’t you coming to the dinner table to spend time with us?”.     He also is the child that will flat out ask for more “mommy time”.   He loves for me to simply sit next to him and watch a movie, read a book, do a puzzle, play an interactive computer game, or simply go for a walk.    So now I know how best to spend my precicious time with him.  I know how to satisfy the methods for which he most feels loved.   Not that my hugs and kisses are not important, its just that the time that I choose to spend with him is more important to him to feel the love that I have for him.
    I thought that this was a really powerful tool and unique thinking between parent and child.    I encourage you to take the assessments for yourself, have your partner take theirs, and also have each of your kids take theirs.  And let us know what you think!!!!!!!
    • Do the results seem true to your child’s personality?    Were you surprised in any way?   
    • When reflecting back, do you think you’ve put too much emphasis on YOUR love language versus your child’s?   
    • If so, can you try to more directly speak your child’s love language — and after doing this for a week or two, have you found any differences in how they respond and/or connect with you????
    I am so curious!!!!  Please comment!!!!
    – Mama K
    Filed Under: Staying Sane Tagged With: , , , , , ,

    September 28: Feeling valued in all directions

    September 29, 2011 by Leave a Comment

    New seasons. New beginnings. New starts.

    This morning was about reconnecting with my eldest children since I did not spend much time with them last night. They even said that they didn’t get enough “mommy time” that night so I promised them if they woke up early, got dressed, and ate breakfast that I PROMISED that each of them would have special “mommy time” in the morning. They agreed and started to think about what activities they wanted to do with me. They also agreed that it was OK for the other to take part in each other’s selected “mommy time”. How cute.

    Highlights of my Morning and Commute:

    • Surprisingly, BIG BRO is the first one awake. Unbelievable. He starts talking about how he wants me to read the book he has in his hands for his mommy time. I say, OK. We go in to get Red. She is excited about “mommy time” too.
    • Both kids get dressed SO FAST and the three of us head downstairs. The Twins are not even up yet!!
    • We have a guest bedroom downstairs so each of us cuddle in the bed and I read the book to the two of them.
    • Red decides that she wants me to put her kid make up on her for her “mommy time”. I suggest that we eat breakfast first. She agrees.
    • Twins are busy eating cereal with Hubby. They are so cute. Twin Husky is busy pointing at things and saying words. Twin Crazy is just busy trying to balance the cereal on her spoon. Both seem very happy. I can’t believe how big they are getting.
    • I fix Big Bro and Red their breakfast; Big Bro gets a trio of jelly on his bagel and Red eats TWO packages of oatmeal. “Oatmeal, oatmeal” repeat both Twins. So they get some oatmeal too.
    • Diaper changes with the Twins gives me a chance to connect with them too, albeit too briefly. Twin Husky is in such a good mood this morning. Crouching and jumping, crouching and jumping. So active. Twin Crazy is a bit cranky this morning for some reason.
    • I get changed, pack up the daycare bag, and we pack up the kids. Hubby and I are dividing and conquering again today. He’ll take Red, I take the Twins and Big Bro.
    • OK time to go!!!!!!!! Again, I feel like we’re running late, so I’m blasting music and hauling ass. The Doors are on. I’m feeling good. Twin drop off was great; Twin Crazy felt compelled to bring in ALL her stuffed animals from the van into daycare. She is needy today. Twin Husky is all smiles.
    • Drop off for Big Bro is so sweet. He is so big. He towers over most kids in his Kindergarten class – but I know he is so sensitive, reflective. He isn’t a “bully” kind of big boy.
    • I make the ferry in time.

    Today for work I have more to do about the conferences for next week.   It’s coming up!

    Highlights of my Working Day:
    I was so busy today!!!! It was great – got lots done and getting ready for next week.

    • Reworked some agendas, reviewed presentations, provided presenter feedback, finalized one agenda and sent it out to all meeting attendees, etc. etc. etc.
    • Also started refining the two other meetings we will have; finalized presenters, set up meetings to refine content topics
    • Set up “sales” meeting for another initiative we were launching
    • Held an “off the cuff” strategy meeting over lunch with 2 Directors; thinking through who on our team could provide leadership capability and decided on a core group to create and drive strategy. I’m on that team!!!
    • I was in a relatively great mood; I actually belly laughed several times — one time so loudly that even though my office door was shut, and a Director’s office door was shut, the sound of my laughter found its way into his office.    It felt wonderful to laugh like that.

    I’m coming from today’s work feeling very valued and appreciated. Folks internally are pulling together to work with me to make the meetings next week a success; I am the go-to person but we’re all pulling together and I feel very energized.

    I’m on the ferry back and thinking of my children. I love coming home early to pick them up. I’ve discussed here on this blog over the last several weeks/months about going on a reduced work-week; well this will happen after I get through next week’s meetings. I am very much looking forward to that.

    My kids really enjoyed their “mommy time” this morning. I want to think of more “mommy time” stuff for the evenings as well. I want to show them that they each matter individually. I can’t wait to see them now. Now more than ever. I can’t wait to see their faces and I HOPE I see smiles. I need smiles from them today. I want to help create those smiles. Smiles will keep me going.

    Dinner and Bedtime:

    • I picked up Big Bro and he immediately said that he wanted more mommy-time.   Both of us drove over to pick up Red.
    • In the parking lot, I felt like I had a bug bite or something on my butt.   So of course I make a big deal of it – “I think I have a bug bite on my butt.  How silly.  Why on earth would a bug want to bite a butt?????”  Big Bro replies:   “I can check for you when we get home Mommy.”   How cute.
    • Red wanted to hold Big Bro’s hand across the parking lot (one of our rules is that to cross a street or in a parking lot, EVERYONE must hold a hand).
    • Both of them decide that they want us to go home first for a mommy-time activity before going to get the Twins.   How cute.   It was 5:30 so I gave in to them.
    • At home, they decided that their mommy-time activity would be water-color painting.   I really didn’t do much, so I’m not sure how they saw it as mommy-time, but I did help them with paper (Me:  “I’m on paper duty”.  Big Bro:  “I’m on color duty”).  I also helped them with the water changes, and encouraged their art.   They really are creative and I always make a big deal out of the stuff they make.

    This slideshow requires JavaScript.

    • We then go to pick up Twins.   I make it fun by saying they can get in the van WITHOUT ANY SHOES ON!!  How fun!!!!
    • Twins squeal when they see me – open arms, laughs, and “mommy!  mommy!  mommy!”
    • At home we have to trouble-shoot a bit with the kids.   Red is having a hard time; Big Bro is also teasing her a bit.  Twins are great.  I ask our mother’s helper to help entertain the Twins so Hubby and I can focus on the bigger ones; they seem more needy today.
    • Dinner is a hit; so much so that everyone had vanilla pudding afterwards.
    • All kids went completely crazy next.  There was a lot of jumping, falling on the floor, jumping over the Elmo chair…. I think this was prompted by me asking Twin Crazy to do his “crouch and jump”.   It just cracked me up so much.  Belly-laughs.    This little toddler doing crouch and jump and falling backwards and saying “crouch and jump” the whole time… and then the rest of the kids jumping and running and falling on the floor.   There was “look-it mommy!” going all over the place and I had to make sure I was watching everyone and making my laughs seem like they were for everyone too.
    • At bedtime we changed the Twins and talked about some pictures in a book and sang some songs and did kisses all around.   They go out like a charm.
    • Big Bro and Red were fast tonight too.   I think all the running around wore them out.  Red wanted me to help her with her PJs; she wanted me to look in backpacks to find her favorite yellow shirt; Big Bro wanted me to read the story to them, and he had his head on my lap the entire time.
    I had a very, very, full day.   It was a good day.    Filled with people around me who showed their appreciation and how much I’m needed — both at work and with my little ones.   Honestly a working mother couldn’t ask for much more.
    Til tomorrow –
    – Mama K
    Filed Under: Daily Journal Tagged With: , , , , , , , , ,

    September 28: There’s nothing like a good Guinness

    September 28, 2011 by Leave a Comment

    20110928-072544.jpg

    It’s fall. There are leaves on the ground. And our family is new to elementary school since Big Bro is 5 and new at Kindergarten. There is something so exhilarating with change. The change of the leaves, the crunch on your feet, the hustle and bustle of families with their children and backpacks getting ready for a new day at a new school. It brings back memories. I am so proud of my son and looking forward to his ever growing independence.

    Highlights of the Morning and Commute:
    * Red wakes up first, as expected. I sit with her for a while. We like it when I sit on the floor, her in my lap but facing me, cuddled into my body – her arms wrapped around me tight. If I’m wearing a pony-tail she playfully tugs at it or runs her fingers through my hair. We sit in silence as I rock her forward and back. This is our special time. This is her mommy time. And I give it to her every morning.
    * Downstairs, Twins and Red are eating oatmeal. This is fun now for the Twins. They each get their own bowls and spoons and really enjoy eating what their big sister eats. Red eats two whole bowls. The Twins are not far behind. Twin Husky is laughing and having fun – looking into his spoon at his reflection and enjoying himself. Twin Crazy needs some help. She asks for more but she already has stuff in there. She needs help tilting her bowl to scoop up the rest. I teach her this and then she seems happy.
    * Big Bro is having a hard time coming downstairs. He is just so tired in the morning. And this is true of this morning, despite his earlier bedtime. The lack of nap in Kindergarten is killing him. I need to find a way to get this kid to rest more, besides just earlier bedtime; the change in time will help, but it saddens me to think that my kids will be going to bed too early, after not interacting with them during the day. This is something I need to figure out.
    * Diaper changes with the Twins are their “mommy-time”. I REALLY enjoy this time with them. We get to look into each others eyes, I get to play with them and tickle them and talk to them. Twin Husky is busy practicing his new words and I tickle him to encourage it. I love their bellies. I love how Twin Husky is ticklish under his neck, and how Twin Crazy is ticklish in her thighs. As I diaper them, Big Bro is laying down on the floor with me, with his head in my lap. He needs more of me. I hug him intermittently as I diaper the Twins.
    * We are running REALLY late. I help to change Red and Big Bro. We get a bagel ready for Big Bro to eat in the car. I get their vitamins.
    * I can’t find the day bag for daycare; I can’t find Red’s jacket. I can’t find my shoes. I try to make instant coffee. OMG it is past 8 AM we are so late……
    * Hubby takes Red; I take Twins and Big Bro. I basically take the van and HAUL ASS to daycare. I mean, there were screeches from the tires of this minivan. I need to make up time! Twin Husky says “Bye Bye” to Big Bro on the way out. My heart melts.
    * I head to school to drop of Big Bro. While parking I screech on the curb. “Uh oh”…… I look in the rear-view mirror and Big Bro is laughing and so am I.
    * We head to the playground where the kids line up and it just looks so cute with all of these kids and their backpacks. Happy parents. I hug Big Bro and then run to the van so I can make the ferry on time.

    So now I’m on the ferry – it is a pretty day. I will need to lead several meetings today – one to sell membership into one of our new conferences, and one to review all the presentations for our first conference next week. This will be a good day – the logistics and securing speakers is something that has to be done, but it doesn’t really excite me until we actually secure the spot. The content is much more interesting to me and thinking through the implications to the audience – what does it mean for them? I hope I can see the connections today – if not, I’ll have to circle back with the presenters and make sure they draw those connections clearly during their presentation to the group.

    I will have a meeting tonight so Hubby is solo with the kids. These nights are hard for me since I miss out on the children and I get emotionally wiped out. But I need this meeting tonight.

    Highlights of my Working Day:
    I had one “sales” meeting for another forum we are launching. We received good feedback but need to re-evaluate the content for focus. I spent the rest of the day coordinating logistics, working on Agendas, reviewing presentations, and asking for more presentations. I’m looking forward to next week.

    Dinner and Bedtime:
    * Is a beer. I am mentally exhausted. The beer is cold, refreshing, and making me feel better. When I get home, hopefully the kids will be awake but I am not sure about this since they are getting tired earlier, and it is getting darker earlier.
    * Given that, I’ll probably just go to bed when I get home.

    Here’s to Guinness!

    Til tomorrow,
    – Mama K

    Filed Under: Daily Journal Tagged With: , , , ,

    Random Thought: Vacationing with Children

    September 20, 2011 by 1 Comment

    I just returned from vacation with Hubby and a subset of my kids. This got me to thinking about vacations in general and the extent to which families choose to vacation alone and/or with their kids. Before Hubby and I got married and before the children arrived, we were avid travelers. We both share a drive to recapture and foster the same sense of adventure with ALL of our children in tow. We’ve already done camping trips as a family of six, day trips to the beach, slumber parties, and next month we will all be going to Florida. When we had only two kids, I made multiple trips to the East Coast solo with the kids and we also traveled to Mexico, Seattle, more trips to Florida. I honestly cannot wait for the day when Hubby and I are trailblazing with our backpacks and we have our gaggle of little explorers right behind us carrying their “gear” in their backpacks and writing in their travel journals. I feel like we have so much to look forward to, together.

    Which leads me to thinking about how your family approaches vacations –


    I think me and Hubby are more on the adventurous side but the Twins have slowed us down a bit, at least for the time being… I’m looking forward to reviewing your responses….

    Filed Under: Random Thoughts Tagged With: , , , , , , , ,
    «Previous Page
    Next Page»