parenting – Mama In Motion™

April 12: The never-ending day

April 12, 2012 by Mama K Leave a Comment

Long day, but nice day with Twin Crazy and Twin Husky. Even though the week before my big meetings…. I couldn’t get their daycare provider today but it was a good thing; it gave me time to play with them since I will be away all of next week.

Highlights of the Morning:

I had some cuddle time with Twin Husky
Red showed me one of her drawings and we put it on the clip-wall hanging in my room. She was excited to see her art displayed and enjoyed looking at the other pieces of art and pictures that were clipped up there.
Big Bro rode his bike to school and I took the Twins in the stroller. Twin Crazy was wearing her rainboots. Twin Husky wanted to bring sidewalk chalk.
At home, Twin Crazy had a poop accident so we had to change her clothes. She enjoyed walking around the house in just her underwear. So Twin Husky decided to strip down too and was walking around in only his diaper.
We did laundry together. Putting a load in, watching the water fill, watching it turn and do its work. Taking the clean clothes out, putting them in the dryer together. And then starting a new load. Me handing them a pile of clothes, and them putting the pieces into the washer. They really enjoy that. I found a flashlight in the washer – glad I looked before I put any soap in. Twin Husky wanted to fold the clothes too which was cute. Him rolling up the clothing in a ball and putting it on top of a pile and patting it down. So cute.
We ate, played, tickled.
While they played I tried to get some work done. Mostly emails to keep things moving. There was one or two conference calls that were comical since I had two boisterous toddlers on my hands.
Twins were fighting over sitting on a tin canister. Twin Crazy is very aggressive. I have to watch what they do because she bullies him.
They had fun playing with water when eating their lunch. They’re having issues with water-play during food time that I do not like.
When they napped, I worked: finishing touches on Agendas, reaching out to confirm and get more info from speakers, looking at presentations, confirming attendee lists. I also had to get an analyst set up to populate a presentation for me… I will need to look and work on that tonight.

The Rest of the Day:

Twins woke up and ate oatmeal for a snack.
We went to pick up Red – Twin Husky wanted to sit in Big Bro’s carseat, and Twin Crazy was in Red’s. They were having so much fun. Red’s pickup was fast. Big Bro rode his bike home, along the lagoon. He took the other way around our our house and I drove slowly so he could beat us there.
We went food shopping for Red’s Green Smoothie ingredients. They were having a great time picking out other food items and helping me put things into plastic bags. Big Bro tried to sneak in a big package of cup-cakes. They were all well behaved.
At home I had a roast cooking; so it was play-time. Tickle-time. The kids decided to give each other manicures and pedicures.
After dinner we had smoothies. They all helped to put in the ingredients and liked the treat with their straws.
We sat down to some TV, cuddled, and Twin Husky pumped on sugar wanted to push the rocking chair that we were sitting on.
I had bedtime with Big Bro and Red. I read a book where there was reference to a princess that had died. Big Bro said that it made him feel sad. I was surprised that he was talking that way since his teachers have told us that he doesn’t share his feelings. I’m happy that he’s talking like that with me. We’ve been working together on “feelings” and it’s making me feel better that we can start to talk like this.
There was thunder and lightening. They were asking a lot of questions. Big Bro passed out without a problem. Red was trickier, but I said it was OK to feel scared and that she was doing great and almost 1/2 asleep already. I’m downstairs typing on the desktop since I locked myself out of my room – co-parent is upstairs in the hallway and she is quiet.

My locksmith just left; I am now able to get back into my room and get to my computer. Now the third shift starts. I need to get some presentations finished.

Til tomorrow –

– Mama K

Filed Under: Daily Journal Tagged With: cuddles, laundry, parenting, part-time, shopping, thunderstorms, twins, working mom, working mother

April 11: Sweet reunions

April 11, 2012 by Mama K Leave a Comment

What a day. I’ve been going non-stop. I have more left to do. So this will be short.

Highlights of the Morning:

Twin Crazy was clingy. I held her and rocked her for a bit.

Twin Crazy wanted her rainboots. We put them on and she seemed much happier.

Big Bro went riding again with the Motley Crew. He was excited to be doing that again.

We dropped off the Twins, and then Red. One of her teachers was back from vacation and Red and her friend ran to the teacher with open arms. It was so sweet. How they loved to see her return and how pure their excitement was. I was thinking that the teacher has a VERY difficult job dealing with 3-4 year olds…. but the emotions — both bad and good — must make her job very fulfilling; to receive those hugs so freely and with such intensity. She was missed.

I dropped of co-parent at the ferry and then drove home just in time for the beginning of my working day…

Highlights of My Working Day:

…. I had a conference call at 8:30 AM to introduce panel members to one another and also organize some “seed” questions just in case the forum is not engaged at first. It was a good call and I’m looking forward to their session next week.

I spent the rest of the day modifying agendas, confirming speakers, looking at presentations, modifying our own presentations, sending out pre-conference surveys, trying to find Plan B speakers, getting biographies and phone numbers for speakers, etc. etc. There is still a lot more to do.

I also spent time on our client project, reaching out to market leaders for us to interview. This process takes up so much time. I’ve been using LinkedIn with great success. It’s amazing how helpful that channel is to me and my work.

In between the above, I straightened up the kitchen, barely ate breakfast/lunch, did some laundry….

The Rest of the Day:

I called it a day later than I wanted to. I picked up Red first. Then the Twins – they were sitting on chairs waiting for me like two little bookends. So cute. And then Big Bro so he could ride his bike back home. He took the lagoon route home, and I met him at the end. Our house is on a street that is a circle, and he decided to go the other way around the circle and meet us at the house. He’s doing so well with being brave, being by himself, testing the waters, growing his independence, conquering his fear. He’s making me proud – and I like encouraging him to do more because I know he can do it.

I made dinner – I had Big Bro set the table. Red was busy cutting. Twins were busy going potty and playing.

After dinner we made banana-strawberry smoothies. The kids were all excited. I need to go out and buy more fruit for smoothies since this is becoming a ritual.

I was with the twins tonight for bedtime. It was fast and easy. They love reading books and I love asking them questions about what they see. We count the things together. They’re getting much better at counting.

Red is crying right now. Co-parent just says its time to go night-night. He doesn’t even try to understand what could be wrong, or talk to her about it. He just wants to push the problem away and pretend its not there. But meanwhile she is still up there now crying.

Til tomorrow –
– Mama K

Filed Under: Daily Journal Tagged With: conference planning, parenting, smoothies, working from home, working mom, working mother

April 10: Rain, rain, go away

April 10, 2012 by Mama K Leave a Comment

It was a great morning with the kids – but then we wound up running late and that’s when the shit hit the fan.

Highlights of the Morning:

Twin Crazy went potty!

Chocolate Tuesday! There was an issue with Red licking a knife and then Twin Crazy giving her the knife, but apparently the knife touched Red’s pants and they got all fithy with chocolate. I entered the kitchen with Red on the floor in a fit. It took awhile for me to learn the facts. Big Bro was a good translator of the story. So Red was upset that Twin Crazy put the chocolate on her, but Twin Crazy was just trying to help and give her the knife. I asked Twin Crazy to apologize to Red (she did) and then I changed Red into her clean clothes for today. Then she was happy. I applauded Twin Crazy for apologizing to Red and also to Big Bro for helping me to understand the story.

Twin Crazy was feeding her doll some chocolate on bread.

Twin Husky was busy dancing while eating his chocolate. Big Bro was dancing too.

I dished out 2nd rounds of chocolate with rolled tortillas. Twin Crazy rejected hers because she didn’t want it rolled. So I fixed her a new one and ate her old one. All kids thought that was funny that I was eating chocolate tuesday too so of course I made it more funny and exaggerated. It was fun.

I forced Big Bro to change out of his stinky jeans that he was wearing all weekend. He needs privacy now when he changes and prefers to do everything himself upstairs in his room. So I followed him upstairs, sat outside his room, and the threw each dirty article of clothing outside to me. We made a game of it. I was catching one sock, the other sock, his jeans, his underwear (“YUCK!!!”), his shirt. I thanked him and then he came downstairs in clean clothes.

I started laundry and Twin Husky wanted to see the washing machine.

Then we were running late. We were having problems with Twin Crazy’s boots, Twin Husky’s golf ball, Red’s socks, Big Bro’s shoes (he wants them TIGHT). Everyone needed mommy. I tried to load everybody up but it was obvious that we were going to need to take two cars. Big Bro and Red were both throwing a fit over who was going to go with Mommy. I decided that Red was more needy and more upset so I took her to school. She was quiet the whole way over there but drop off was easy – I just gave her a big hug and asked her to have fun today with her friends. I hope the drop off with Big Bro was OK. He was really upset.

I’m now on the ferry. It is raining hard. I am thinking about my new house and what I need to give to the mortgage broker to complete my file. And also the results of the inspection report (none of which were dealbreakers for the transaction) and how to handle that. I don’t have a realtor so am not well versed at negotiating these kinds of things. Plus I have no bargaining power because they know I love the house and was in tears when I hugged the sellers. So there goes my bargaining position out the window. Unless they fix things for me out of kindness.

I will be busy at work today. There is a lot of logistics to finalize today. I have one speaker outstanding for one of the forums so I need to figure out how to adjust timing to eliminate his session or reach out to a Plan B at the last minute. I have a presentation that I will deliver at the meeting that needs some work. I have two other presentations to deliver and I have not even seen that content yet. I have meetings related to a client project that need attention today too [I should NOT have taken on this project!!!] and also closing items on another client project to get off my plate. It will be really busy. I will likely work tonight again after the kids go to bed.

I am thinking of the house right now and am just so happy. My first house. It took me 42 years to get to this point but I finally [almost] own a home. The more I think about it the more I love it. I can’t wait to plant trees in the backyard and get some benches and make the yards spectacular places to spend time. To watch the kids play, laugh, explore. And laugh and play with the chickens from next door.

Highlights of my Working Day:
I was running non-stop today

I had a status update for a meeting we/I am leading in mid-May. I secured 3 new potential clients to come to the meeting so am psyched about that. We have 1 month to go for the event so this is on my lower priority.

I had a debrief related to a client project where we had a disconnect with the client; we brainstormed scenarios as part of their project and I updated the discussion document as a result; sent it off to the client and then started my next meeting…

…. a review with a Director for a presentation we will give next week as part of our forums. There is some work to do but I think it’s in good shape.

Grabbed a quick lunch and had our client conference call. The project is back on track. Whew. We planted the seed to push back our final deliverable since we will not have adequate time to put against the project next week. They agreed to this change so I am pumped!

Emails, emails, emails, …. so much to do….

I really should NOT be on client projects right now. I should be devoted to the forum planning. My list of things is sooooooooooo long right now and it is seriously impossible for me to get to everything. I just don’t have enough hours in the day, even if I were working full-time. I cannot do client projects any longer. I simply cannot.

Dinner and Bedtime:

I picked up Red, then Big Bro, then Twins. It was still raining. Twin Crazy was excited about her rainboots. I talked about the rain and how great it is and to look up to the sky and feel the rain on your face. The girls were reaching up to feel the rain and Twin Crazy was enjoying herself.

I cleaned up from this AM, ran the dishwasher, started dinner, and threw in some laundry. Twin Husky helped me with laundry.

We ate well.

I played a game with Big Bro where he was making patterns with his Toy Story figurines (tallest to smallest, ones he likes best to least, arranged left right left right, etc.)

I made banana strawberry smoothies with some old frozen bananas and some strawberries that were starting to look shriveled.

I cleaned up from dinner, did more laundry, played with the kids. Tickled the girls a lot. Put their hair into ponytails – this is the first time I saw Twin Crazy’s hair like this. It was cute to see them together like that. That is my signature look – tassled pony-tail (even in my wedding) so it was cute to see them like that too.

Tonight was my night with Big Bro and Red. Red picked out and got dressed into the clothes she will wear tomorrow. I read them books. Red had a HUGE poop and Big Bro wanted to see it. I asked him to ask her, and she said “Yes, come over here and see this big poop…. it’s disgusting”.

So cute. I’m listening for cries through the monitor but I do not hear any. I think they do better on nights when I give them the attention they need. I’m going to keep my fingers crossed that I don’t hear a cry…. I have work to do tonight.

Til tomorrow –
– Mama K

p.s., now she’s upset. I’m going to bring my laptop upstairs and work in the hallway…. 😦

Filed Under: Daily Journal Tagged With: client projects, meeting planning, parenting, working mom, working mother

Staying Sane: Eat Chocolate

April 8, 2012 by Mama K Leave a Comment

Nuf said.
Happy Easter!

– Mama K

Filed Under: Staying Sane Tagged With: chocolate, Easter, parenting, working mom, working mother

April 6: Seeing the fork ahead in the road

April 6, 2012 by Mama K 3 Comments

What a day. I mean, what a day. I honestly cannot express in words what has happened in my life today. Life takes its twists and turns, and mine took a sharp turn today. For the better, I hope. I believe. I’m starting to see the end of a long journey for me, but I ache for my kids who still do not know what will soon happen to their worlds.

Highlights of the Morning:

Big Bro woke me up today. He thought for some reason that it was Saturday, and asked if he could watch a movie. I said no and that I had to get up. He thought that was strange since it wasn’t 8:00 AM yet (they’re trained to know that I don’t get up until after 8 AM, we get them to entertain themselves while we get an extra hour). When I said it was Friday, he said, “Ohhh. I forgot.”

Red and I talked about dust yesterday. We could see the little speckles in the rays of sunshine in our kitchen. Today we saw them again, and Red and Big Bro were reaching out and catching them.

Twin Crazy and Twin Husky’s hair were still all greasy from the A&D. Despite Twin Husky’s two shampooings, he still looked like a guy who puts too much hair care product on. Twin Crazy just looked like a complete mess.

Twin Husky decided to take a snooze with his Tigers by his side.

We did all the drop offs together. Then co-parent and I had mediation meetings. The meeting was going really well. We were making progress. Decisions were being made. This guy is great. The best use of my money since this whole divorce started. And towards the end I realized that I had a voicemail. I called them back. It had to do with a property. I feel strange disclosing such a big event in my life but I was told on the phone, on the spot, THAT THE SELLERS ACCEPTED MY OFFER FOR A HOME PURCHASE!!!!! I almost started to cry on the spot. This is a big move in the right direction for me and my family. I found a very affordable (but small) home that is zoned to schools that are the best in California. Rated 10/10. With four children, these kids HAVE to go to public school and I am going to be a single mom soon. I have NEVER purchased my own home before and have been ACHING for this for so long. It is small but I love it. It is completely renovated and beautiful. I believe I can make a beautiful home there for the children and feel confident that I have placed and given them the opportunity to be the best that they can be in terms of their education. So keep fingers crossed that all goes well, if so, I will be a home-owner by the end of the month.

Highlights of the Rest of the Day:

I told co-parent about the news and we actually went over there to look at it together. He of course thinks its small but nice. I know we have different priorities and appreciated that he did not completely shit on decision.

We picked up the kids and let them each have chocolate chip cookies as a snack before dinner. We picked up the Twins and all kids were outside together talking about their eggs, eating cookies, and looking at jelly beans.

We played with bubbles in the backyard for a bit and they were having fun catching bubbles.

Twin Husky shoved a pile of pasta into his face for dinner. I guess the kid was really hungry.

Big Bro was playing with one of those cheap parachute toys that you throw up in the air and he decided to make it stronger by reinforcing the middle to keep the parachute open. He asked for straws and tape. This kid is quite an engineer already and I am already excited about the possibility of his attending this amazing High School that I was able to grab!

Big Bro went outside with co-parent to wash the car and Twin Husky got too cold. He came in and got bundled up. I carried him upstairs for another bath and he was so cute all bundled up like a big fluffy marshmallow.

I had Big Bro and Red for bedtime tonight. They were great. I’m typing now in the hallway outside of their room so Red can go to sleep easier.

I had such a crazy day today. There is so much going on right now. Three conferences to continue to plan, 2 client projects to end, one divorce to still go through, and a loan process and purchase process to close all in the next two weeks!!!!!! OMG how will I be able to do all of this? And four kids….

This is what I thrive on. I find it exhilarating. Making change for the better. Finally finding a place to call Home. Scoping out places for a garden. For lemon and orange trees to plant. For blackberry bushes to thrive. A place for growth. And comfort. And safety. Warmth. Peace.

Well, along with four kids fighting and throwing toys all over the place. And falling down the hill and crying over skinned knees. But I can’t wait to reach for a band-aide in my own bathroom when it happens.

Although I’m upset for the kids, knowing that their lives are going to soon be turned upside-down, I am excited for this new beginning for us. I will do as much as I can to make their experiences easier.

Have a great weekend all
– Mama K

Filed Under: Daily Journal Tagged With: divorce, home, home purchase, mediation, new beginnings, parenting, working mom, working mother

Recipe: Red’s Green Smoothie

April 5, 2012 by Mama K 2 Comments

This recipe is a bit different from those I usually post. It actually came from a National Geographic Kids magazine that we received back in March (not sure if this year or last year… ). Anyway, it sounded like a really healthy treat for the kids and it was fun to do with them. The kids loved putting the stuff into the blender and there were enough ingredients for the four of them to “take the lead” in something. Best part about it was that IT IS EXCELLENT!!!!!!!!! We couldn’t get enough. It was so good that the next day I had to go shopping again for a refill of the ingredients. Try it!

Red’s Green Smoothie

Ingredients:

1 peeled, sliced, frozen banana

1 cup of frozen green grapes

1 peeled and sliced kiwi

1 cup of washed baby spinach

8 oz of lime yogurt

1/4 cup of limeade

Directions:

Put all the frozen ingredients in the blender. Then put the rest on top.

Blend to desired consistency

Prep time: 10 min [not including wait-time for ingredients to freeze!]

Filed Under: Recipes Tagged With: banana, grapes, kiwi, lime, parenting, quick recipes, spinach, working mom, working mother

April 5: Berries, milk, and bread

April 5, 2012 by Mama K 1 Comment

I am soooo tired right now I could just collapse. And I’m listening to Red cry for me through the kid monitor. It’s not my night for Red/Big Bro and hearing her makes me ache but I’m just so worn out.

Highlights of the Morning:

I woke up to Red slowly walking into my room at 6:45 AM. I pulled back the covers for her to jump in. We talked. She was very talkative this morning. Talking about how each of us is different in terms of sleeping in/waking up early, also about eye dirt and her throwing hers on my bed (Yuchh), and how I had a dust bunny on my ceiling. So I grabbed my phone and bought a dust bunny cleaner from Amazon.

It was a normal day, normal routine. I had all kids in daycare since I had appointments all afternoon.

The Rest of the Day:

I picked up Big Bro and Red; Big Bro went on a field trip today to a bakery. So they all had grab bags filled with loaves of different breads. It was AWESOME. So we picked up Twin Crazy / Twin Husky and started to talk about what we were going to have for dinner with all of that yummy bread. Big Bro had the idea of replicating the dinner from “The Tale of Peter Rabbit” – in the end they eat berries, bread, and milk. And that’s what we decided to do too.

So we all went to the grocery store to buy berries and milk. The kids were tired and hungry and there were several breakdowns. In fact, due to empathy of the kids, at one point I had all four kids crying just outside of the store. And 3 of the 4 kids wanted to be held. So I put a stop to that. I said no-one was to be held, and put all the kids on a bench and asked them to calm down. I asked them what kinds of berries were we going to buy. They gave each other jobs (Big Bro holds the strawberries, etc.). Then we went in. I said the trip would be FAST. When we paid and left I was thankful to reach the car without any other breakdowns.

DINNER WAS AWESOME!!!! But there was a lot of clean up , strangely enough. Lots of bowls.

Afterwards I colored with Big Bro

I had Twins tonight. They made it upstairs before me and when I got up there all I heard was mischievous giggling. They both had gotten into the big A&D container and proceeded to put globs of A&D all over their faces and in their hair. Ugggh. I tried to wash it out of Twin Husky’s head but it didn’t really come out. I didn’t even bother with Twin Crazy. I’ll do some research to see how to get it out of hair. Any suggestions?

The Twins were running around tonight like there was no tomorrow. They were out of control. I tried to read to them 3 times but they were running all over the place and interupting Red/Big Bro. So I called it a night and put them in their cribs without their book. They were not happy about that. Eventurally they got over it , after I went in to see them several times to calm them down and talk to them. I had Twin Crazy smiling at me at the end so I feel good; I also just sat with Twin Husky for awhile which felt good for him and for me.

I’m really wiped out. So much going on. I’m looking forward to tomorrow for many reasons.

Red is still crying and co-parent isn’t able to deal with it. I eventually went up there to talk to her and tuck her in and tell her that everything was OK and that I can hear her if she needs me and that I am right downstairs…. that I would check on her soon to make sure she was OK. I left the room without a cry. Co-parent was downstairs busy on his computer, saying that she needs to learn how to go to sleep by herself. I agree. But she is, right now. She just needs to be acknowledged and consoled, and CERTAINLY NOT IGNORED. She is our “emotionally needy” child and this is the treatment she gets from him.

Til tomorrow –
– Mama K

Filed Under: Daily Journal Tagged With: divorce, parenting, Tale of Peter Rabbit, working mom, working mother

April 4: Jelly beans and the potty

April 4, 2012 by Mama K 1 Comment

Wednesday – a work from home day. I love these days.

Highlights of the Morning and Commute:

I woke up to Red walking into my room with a huge smile just a few minutes before I was to get up at 6:30 AM. She is the early riser. I love it when she comes downstairs to greet me like this. She climbed into my bed, very talkative as usual. Today she was talking about eye dirt and how it is hard and sometimes hurts your eye.

She found a key chain rubber chicken in my room. Long story. It basically is a gag gift from one of my colleagues who retired. He was collecting rubber chickens through the years and when he retired he donated them to me since I have all these kids. Red found the key chain and started asking what a chicken was doing on a keychain and in my room. Good question.

She put some princess tattoos on a table in my room. So sweet.

We went upstairs to get Twin Crazy and Twin Husky. Twin Crazy went potty and we were proud of her.

I walked out of my room with some old ice-cream bowls and she completely caught me in the act. “Hey… what is that???!??!?! Were you eating ICE-CREAM?!?!?!??!?!” I was completely snagged. She’s too fast for me. I can’t get anything by these kids.

Twin Crazy somehow saw the chicken and adopted it from Red. She loved the chicken. She kept talking about the chicken. She wanted to bring the chicken to daycare.

Everyone packed up their stuff and both Red and Big Bro had huge backpacks. Cute.

Big Bro and Red wanted me to drop them off… this was going to cause a problem…

We were all early so had enough time to all go into the van and make the two different drop offs all together. First the twins, then Red/Big Bro.

Highlights of My Working Day:

I made it home in time for a conference call with a potential speaker for our forum. We scored big. This woman and organization are amazing. They will have a lot of value to add to this meeting and hopefully for future meetings as well.

We had a second call with a different potential speaker and scored there as well! YEAH!

I had a conversation with my Director about a client project we are finishing and then later we had a call with the client. They are happy with the work and will likely complete it early next week.

I sent out some other logistics for the forum planning.

We tried to have a conference call with our other client but had some phone issues. So I missed the call. There is work we need to do with our thinking and will need to get cracking on that quickly to regain the traction we had with them.

I did some other personal things and made a lot of phone calls. I also had the chance to talk to my dad, who is in India, through ooVoo. Truly amazing… check it out.

The Rest of the Day:

I called the quits at 3:30 PM and picked up Red and Big Bro. I promised to pick them up early and go shopping for jelly-beans for Red’s Easter party this Friday. They were both excited to do that.

I found out that Red packed a huge stuffed animal duck in her backpack this morning. Ridiculous.

We went shopping for jelly-beans which was fun.

Then picked up the Twins – they were spinning around an ottoman. I continuously crack up at how entertained they are at the most basic of things. You honestly don’t need to buy a lot of toys when you have a 2 year old. Especially twins. They entertain each other with EVERYTHING.

We got home and I dished out 2 jelly beans per child. That’s when I saw that a bag was already opened. It was Big Bro. I had a conversation about “trust” and how important trust is. How it’s important to have people trust in you and that if you lose that trust, it is very, very, very difficult to get it back. So it’s really important that you do things to make people have trust in you – and not do things to damage that trust. I talked to all kids about that.

Later, I was cooking. Big Bro was helping. Red was helping set the table.

One weird thing happened… Red went to the bathroom but didn’t make it in time… she had a pee-pee accident all over herself and the floor. That’s just strange. I closed the door quickly with her and said that its OK, that accidents happen, and that I closed the door so no-one has to know about it. Big Bro did knock and I fibbed and told him that I was going to the potty and needed privacy. I cleaned Red up, and we ran upstairs to find new clothes. She was happy.

Later still, I heard all kids laughing. They were giving themselves pedicures with Red’s toy nail polish.

We took a walk to the mailbox to get the mail.

Red was holding Twin Crazy and having her sit on her lap. Big Bro apparently wanted to have time with Twin Crazy too. There was some sort of fight and Red wound up crying. I got both kids to tell me their sides of the story. Big Bro told me the truth, that Red fell when she was holding Twin Crazy, but that Big Bro did push Red afterwards. I probed and it was because he wanted a turn with Twin Crazy too. I said that it was great that I heard the truth from both of them, asked Big Bro to apologize to Red (he did), and then asked Twin Crazy if she could take a turn with Big Bro. This all seemed to work.

Big Bro was amazingly cooperative with me the rest of the night. No whining, no temper tantrums. I think our discussion about “trust” helped and also the fact that I was sitting and listening to his side of the story and also that I had a chance to pick them up early and spend some time with the older kids by themselves. He was just so good tonight.

The kids ate great; after dinner we had 3 more jelly-beans each (Big Bro helped Twin Crazy and Twin Husky with theirs – they picked the colors and he gave them to them), did Tickle Monster, went to the potty (like 5 times – each time Twin Crazy asking for a chocolate chip), and also played hide and seek. It was great being the tickle-monster, with all of the kids hanging on me and running in circles around me and everywhere I reached there was a child and a good tickle.

I had Big Bro and Red tonight. They were wonderful. Each picked out one book, and cuddled down with me to read.

Big Bro had some bad poops tonight and his butt hurt. I put A&D and now he is sleeping 1/2 naked with a towel between him and his sheets so he doesn’t get the medicine on his sheets. He can be very particular.

Now I’m typing in the hallway outside of Big Bro/Red’s door. Big Bro is already sleeping. Red is wide awake, drinking water, changing her pajamas, etc. But she is not crying. She knows that I am here, she hears me typing away. I feel good doing this. I am out of sight, she can rest her body and fall asleep, but she knows that I am nearby and not downstairs. There is just too much distance there. It causes problems that I think are un-necessary. So I will continue to do this for as long as I have to, for as long as I’m still in this house.

I honestly cannot wait to get out of this house. I am looking forward to finally moving on. It will be so much better for me – and hopefully indirectly for the kids – after we move on to the next step in this process. I am already thinking of ways to bring “fun” into the process for them and make it easier for them – an adventure in so many ways – an adventure that I want them to share with me to the extent they are able.

Til tomorrow –
– Mama K

Filed Under: Daily Journal Tagged With: conference call, divorce, flex time, jelly beans, parenting, part-time, potty training, project, working mom, working mother

April 3: Big Brother and his sisters’ tears

April 3, 2012 by Mama K 1 Comment

Chocolate Tuesday!

Highlights of the Morning and Commute:

Red woke up at 5 AM; I went to check on her. There was no heat on. It was 66 degrees. I put the heat on and decided to bring her down with me since it was almost morning anyway.

All kids were going crazy with chocolate tuesday. Red was a bit finicky and having problems communicating what she wanted for breakfast. I asked her what bread she wanted. Regular bread or tortilla? She wanted a tortilla and her face lit up with a smile.

The kids were “testing” the chocolate Nutella to see if it was OK. [A hypothesis of the reason why Red was rejecting her breakfast was that the chocolate was not good. So we did an experiment and checked the Nutella chocolate to make sure it tasted OK. It did.]

Kids were acting silly with head motions so I asked them if they were stretching and exercising. That really got them going with more movement.

Red and Big Bro were already dressed from the night before. They wanted to get ready fast this morning so when they set out their clothes last night, they decided to get changed into them and sleep in them to save them time this morning. I told them last night that they were ridiculous, laughed, told them to wear what is comfortable, and left their room. They were ready very quickly this AM!

Everyone was ready so early that there was plenty of time to play. Big Bro started to read Twin Crazy a picture book.

We did drop offs all together this AM. We were ready quickly so all got in the van and dropped off Twins first, and then Red/Big Bro at Red’s school [he is on spring break so we are paying extra for “camp” for him this week]. They enjoyed all being together in the van. I felt a pang of sorrow for them and their excitement.

I am now on the ferry with a lot on my mind. I will be busy at work but I think everything is under control, at this point. I also have things to think about related to personal items…. some things I need to check on to prepare for big meetings at the end of the week.

Today at work I have one team working session scheduled to go over the team’s analysis and one client touchpoint meeting. This gives me a lot of time to focus on other work and actually get work accomplished. Some sell meetings to schedule, some follow up with speakers, confirmations of speaker times, etc. I also have to think through revamping the entire work product that our company presents at the forums. It is extremely manual to update for each meeting and also the story/takeways are not compelling. Visually it is hard to digest. The files are at graphics now and I need to think through the work product and make changes to format, insight, structure, etc. to make the presentation more concise, compelling, and visually easier to digest. That will take some time but I think I can get to it today. I would like to have a final re-vamp done by end of week for Director review. I think it will be a good day. I’m not stressed at all about where we are in terms of meetings and deliverables.

Highlights of My Working Day:

I spent time with the project team on our client work and also client update.

I spent time reaching out to potential speakers and guests to our forums

I remembered to grab printouts of our work product for the forums but did not have a chance to review

I spent quite a bit of time on personal things – necessary personal things

I’m on the ferry home and am feeling angry. I really want to see the kids. They put a smile on my face and make me relax. They can sooooo effectively use humor with me and they know what to do to get a laugh out of me. It’s easy for them to do. And we enjoy these times. So, I’m looking forward to seeing my kids and laughing with them tonight.

Dinner and Bedtime:

I picked up Red and Big Bro, and then we went to pick up Twin Crazy and Twin Husky. We found them taking a walk along the sidewalk with their daycare provider as we pulled into the courtyard with the van. Red and Big Bro went nuts. I pulled over to the side and drove up very slowly…. Red and Big Bro both unbuckled their seatbelts and flew to the windows demanding for the windows to be pulled down. There we were, in the van and cheering outside of the window, to Twin Crazy and Twin Husky who were both very excited for the warm welcome.

At home I started cooking fish and rice. It was baked, so I had some time with the kids before it was ready. We played for a bit, went potty A LOT (Twin Crazy getting used to the chocolate chip rewards), went for a walk to the mailbox to get the mail, ran around a bit…. Twin Crazy then had a poop accident. While I was upstairs getting her new clothes, somebody (still not sure who) climbed up something (still don’t know what) and grabbed the huge bag of chocolate chips from Costco… there were chips ALL OVER THE KITCHEN FLOOR. I threatened to put locks on all of the cabinets since the kids have proven to me that they cannot be trusted. Everyone was silent.

We had some problems with Red during dinner. She was saying that she wanted carrots but not talking clearly. So she eventually threw herself on the floor after we were not able to understand her. Eventually I asked her to either speak clearer, or go into the other room with a book because I did not want to hear it anymore. I eventually had to pick her up with a book, and take her into the other room. At that point she clearly told me that she wanted carrots. I gave carrots to her. She was smiling.

After dinner I played “tickle monster”, cleaned up from dinner, and then became the “tickle monster” again. The kids were playing well with each other – Big Bro putting everyone’s stuffed animals to “night night”, giving them wagon rides…. helping Twin Crazy get her new underwear on…. they really were getting along very well.

I was on Twin Crazy and Twin Husky duty tonight. They went down OK, Twin Crazy a bit tough. Red was having a very difficult time. She wanted to stay with me as I read to the Twins. I let her. The cutest thing was the big, big hugs that the Twins gave each other tonight. They embraced, held each other tight, pulled away looking at each other and laughing, and then embracing yet again. IT WAS SOOOOO SWEET I couldn’t believe it. I haven’t seen this affection in this way, with this intensity, so far. It was too cute.

I went downstairs and heard so much commotion upstairs. I had to go up. I knew Red was having a really rough time so wanted to go to her. I found Twin Crazy and Twin Husky up in Big Bro/Red’s room reading a book with co-parent!! What?!??!?!? What is this routine? I already put them to bed. “They were crying so I’m reading them a book.” Are you kidding me??@!?!??! Not the kind of routine that I want to start. I brought them both back into their room. Twin Crazy was VERY upset. I sat with her and hugged her and calmed her down. She told me she didn’t want to go night-night. I told her that it was time for everyone to go night-night, that she wasn’t missing out on anything. Eventually I saw that the bathroom door was closed. She is now scared of the dark. I asked her if she was scared because the door was closed and she said YES. I asked her if we need to open the door and she said YES. I asked her if that was the reason why she was so upset and she said YES. I consoled her and told her that yes, the dark CAN be scary and that she must have been very scared with the door closed. I rocked her. I asked her if she was OK now and she said Yeah. I asked if it was better that the bathroom door was open for her and she said Yeah. I asked her if she could go to sleep now and she said Yeah. I put her back into her crib, her little face looking up at me, and told her that it was OK, that it was OK to feel scared, but the bathroom door was open and it wasn’t so dark in her room anymore. I left the room, kept her bedroom door open a bit, asked if that was OK and if she was OK and I heard her say Yeah.

Then it was working on Red. I sat with her in the hallway and hugged her in silence. I walked her back into her room. She did not want me to leave, but I did. I went downstairs and she followed me down in a fit. I dried off her face and carried her upstairs. I sat down with her and read her a book. I held her some more. I put her to bed. I put on her special blanket. I brought up my iPad and am now typing in the hallway outside of her room, which I promised to do for her. She hears me typing. She knows I’m closeby. I hear her sighing from time to time and know that she is relaxing and going to sleep.

I am so tired. I am so scared for these kids. It will just get worse for them. As it gets better for me, it will get worse for them… so in the end it gets worse for me too. These kids are going to be put to the test. And I know them. I know what gets them upset. I can understand them – and when I cannot, I take the time to figure it out. I let them know, and I prove to them, that it is important to me to understand them and connect with them. I try to understand their fears, their needs, their emotions…. even when they themselves cannot. I am taking the time because it comes natural for me. And also because I know that I cannot be there for them all the time – so I’m trying to do my best with the time that I have to give. To reassure them and help them when I see that they need the help.

Til tomorrow –
– Mama K

Filed Under: Daily Journal Tagged With: divorce, emotional needs, hugs, nutella, parenting, part-time, siblings, tantrums, twins, working mom, working mother

April 2: Feeling full, but in a very good way

April 2, 2012 by Mama K 1 Comment

Welcome Monday. I accept you since it is relatively nice outside and since I do have a lot to do at work today.

Highlights of the Morning and Commute:

Twin Crazy happily used the potty. She was great all weekend with dry diapers and few accidents.

Kids were playing with balloons after eating. Throwing them up in the air and watching them fall. Both twins can actually catch the falling balloon which surprised me.

Twin Husky was calling for Twin Crazy to “follow him” and run around the house chasing each other. I’ve really noticed the closeness between these two lately. They seek each other out, especially at bedtime. They talk to me about the other if they hear the other crying. It is really sweet to see and experience… the subtle and sometimes not-so-subtle relationship between the twins.

Big Bro is going to Red’s school all week for “spring break”. So they were both excited to be packing up together and driving in together.

Big Bro was wearing his “new pants” with the patches freshly sewed last night. I wonder how long the patches will last….

I dropped off Big Bro and Red, and they were silly and having fun the drive over. They started singing “Kick the morning….” not sure what song that it, one of them made it up and now all four sing it and giggle.

I’m on the ferry now. It just pulled away. I have a lot on my mind. I’m thinking ahead to big meetings later this week related to the divorce, and also the THREE big forums that I am leading for work in two weeks time. PLUS two client projects that are also ending right now. There is just too much going on right now. I am totally over-booked with deliverables. The thing that makes it easier for me to manage is lists. I need to get through these days with lists. What I need to do for each “Project” and just spend focused time on each task… otherwise it’s all just over-whelming and I become paralyzed. I need to prioritize from these lists — which tasks are dependent upon other people? WHich ones am I the bottleneck? Which ones need to be done during the day (e.g., coordination with others) vs. which ones can be done after-hours once my kids go to sleep (e.g., confirmations, follow up with logistics, etc.). I need to prioritize and I focus on those first. Keep things moving and off my plate — I can’t be the bottleneck in any of these areas or else the project will be at risk.

So, I’m thinking of today –

I will have two planning meetings for two of the forums; one of which I need to put some thought against and share with the others so that we have something to concrete to talk about. I will need to focus on that first when I get in.

I need to confirm logistics with presenters and ask for their presentations by a deadline date so I and others can review.

I need to communicate with one client for a project since I need input from a Director who is not in the office; will ask director for his input via email and show some electronic files to get the discussions moving.

I need to reach out to other speakers for open speaker spots for one of the forums …. it is getting to crunch time so this is important right now.

I need to think about what we are going to present for our client meeting tomorrow. This is also an important item; and also get the team moving and on track for final report delivery in 3 weeks. They need to know what they are working towards – need some direction – I need to provide that today/tomorrow latest.

I have to start looking through the presentations/analysis conducted by our firm related to the Forums – this will take focused time which I fear I have scarcity.

AND HONESTLY ALOT MORE….. WAY TOO MUCH….. WAY TOO MUCH…..

I need more coffee and some breakfast. 🙂

Highlights of my Working Day:
BUSY BUSY

I got set up in my NEW office! The furniture arrived! I have a desk! There is still stuff all over the place, but I have my own space now!!!! Very exciting.

I printed out copies of our presentations for our forums for me to review tonight at home, and then forgot them on the printer. F!!

I sent out confirmations for speakers for one of the forums — one is still outstanding which is making me nervous.

I had a conference call with a potential speaker/member for another forum and the CALL WENT EXCELLENT. Whew! We have them as guests at a minimum, as speakers for TWO sessions if worse comes to worse…

I sent out my conclusions and follow ups for a client project but need some input from a Director before reaching out to the client

I had a planning meeting for one of the meetings and prepared an outline in literally 15 minutes for the entire day. The planning call went great, and I also decided to use Zoomerang to poll the group to gather more information about their insights prior to the meeting. I’m glad I came up with this idea and think that the information will be very useful for us in the planning of the event.

I had a team meeting for our client project and got the team focused on what we are going to talk about with the client tomorrow. THey are running analyses that we will review tomorrow AM for 2 hours. I then sent out some primary interview outreach emails and am hoping we can secure more discussions with the market in advance of our final presentation.

Had a brief, brief team meeting with our office over lunch to see how everyone is doing.

I can’t believe it but I accomplished [almost] everything above. I was seriously efficient.

I will need to work on personal items tonight so I’m glad that I don’t need to do too much for real work tonight. This is a big week for me and my family. I am ready.

Dinner and Bedtime:

I picked up Big Bro and Red from Red’s school; both were happy. We then picked up Twin Crazy and Twin Husky. Twin Husky was not wearing shoes and Twin Crazy was wearing a summer shirt since co-parent forgot to bring the bag of clothes/shoes that were packed by the back door.

When we got home, we were surprised to see a duck in our front lawn. The kids carefully gathered around the duck. Twin Crazy helped Twin Husky take off his jacket. The duck quacked a bit. I was waiting for someone to charge the duck and eventually someone did. It was Red. Then there were all the kids, chasing after the duck, with the duck quacking and flapping all over the place. Finally the duck tried to fly away and landed in the street and quickly waddled away. I was laughing too hard.

Kids were playing with balloons, going to the potty (Twin Crazy, non-stop, for chocolate chips), and running around laughing. I think there was also some jumping on the beds. Twin Husky got upset over something and I saw Twin Crazy hugging him to comfort him. Red went to his side too.

After dinner the kids took baths. I bought Kiss/Motley Crue tickets!!!!

Twin Crazy came downstairs saying that she needed her nails cut. She went potty again. We went upstairs and cut her nails. Then she found the kid nail polish. I proceeded to give manicures to Twin Crazy and Twin Husky.

I did bedtime routine with Red and Big Bro tonight. They both wanted to lay out their clothes for the next day. Then they talked about wearing their clothes so that they would get ready faster the next morning. I told them they were both ridiculous. They should wear what makes them feel comfortable. We have time in the morning. The last I heard, both Red and Big Bro changed out of their PJs and changed into their clothes for the next day (including their underwear which they wore literally for 20 minutes, post-bath). Now they are whispering to each other back and forth in the kid monitor.

Note: Big Bro just left my room. He had a hangnail that I fixed. He was wearing his Lightening McQueen shirt, and pair of jeans. Too funny.

I’m in a great mood. I had a great day at work, very productive, and the kids tonight were just too, too funny. Honestly, each of them has such funny personalities and they really crack each other up. They have so much fun together. They tease each other but also take care of each other. They comfort each other. They encourage each other.

I’m very lucky.

Til tomorrow –
– Mama K

Filed Under: Daily Journal Tagged With: balloons, clients, conference calls, ducks, manicure, meeting planning, parenting, part-time, working mom, working mother

April 12: The never-ending day

April 11: Sweet reunions

April 10: Rain, rain, go away

Staying Sane: Eat Chocolate

April 6: Seeing the fork ahead in the road

Recipe: Red’s Green Smoothie

April 5: Berries, milk, and bread

April 4: Jelly beans and the potty

April 3: Big Brother and his sisters’ tears

April 2: Feeling full, but in a very good way

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