parenting – Mama In Motion™

December 21: Santa Claus is Coming to Town (Amazon)

December 22, 2011 by Mama K Leave a Comment

Whew! It’s been a fast, long day. My writing today will be VERY brief since it is 11:59 PM and I am still getting a Christmas gift organized. Hopefully it gets here in time!

Anyway, today was a 1/2 day work-from-home day.

Kids were happy going to pre-school/camp:

I worked at home with lots of coffee; did A LOT of laundry. Cleaned up a bit. Had some conference calls. Our client is extremely happy (whew). Was visited by SANTA!!! Yes!!! Santa Claus came to town a bit early (and as hoped) and delivered many, many packages! Thank you ~~UPS~~ Santa!!!

Picked up kids and had them set up for a sticker project when we got home. I was solo tonight since Hubby was out so I wanted to make sure the kids had activities set up for them. All were very engaged and happy. No troubles.

Ate pizza. Twin Crazy played with water from her drinking cup. The kids ate a ton.

Played a bit after dinner. Tickles. Big Bro stole a marshmallow from Red’s menorah. How did he ever think that I wouldn’t notice?? I asked him if he had something to tell me. He was coy at first. Then he gave in and told me his secret. I hugged him and said it was important that he feel like he can always tell me the truth. Being able for us to trust each other is important. After that we asked Red if it was OK to devour the rest of the menorah. I broke pieces of marshmallow for Twin Crazy and Twin Husky. They went nuts.

So now it is 12:10 AM and I am still having some troubles getting this gift to “submit” online. I tried twice and if it doesn’t go through this time I will have to try again – I’m home with all the kids tomorrow and I want to take them to a play museum – I think I’ll take them to the “art” area where they can get creative and throw some paint around. 🙂

Wish me luck on getting to sleep at a decent hour.
Til tomorrow –
– Mama K

Filed Under: Daily Journal Tagged With: amazon, flex time, online shopping, parenting, working mom, working mother

December 20: You are Loved

December 20, 2011 by Mama K Leave a Comment

Chocolate Tuesday! I woke up and showered and went out of the room to find all kids in Big Bro and Red’s room. It was nice to have them all together so early in the morning and me to give each child a good morning kiss on their head – I missed them last night.

Highlights of the Morning and Commute:

Big Bro and Red wanted me to help picking out their clothes but they were eager to put them on themselves, downstairs and after breakfast.

I walked downstairs with Red. I turned off a light before our trip down and it was too dark so I kidded with her… “What was I doing? That was way too dark.”…. and then she continued joking with me in her sing song, sarcastic humor that I think I taught her too well….. “Yeah mommy…. what were you doing? Turning off the light….. forgeting my lunch yesterday…..” and she was shaking her head back and forth and raising her hand upwards to the sky – so sarcastic, so dramatic. So sweet. My little girl with the drama and the humor and I almost cringe when I think of the influence that we have as parents over these little people. This little “sarcasm routine” I started a couple of years ago to basically laugh off my mistakes and joke with the kids like if I make a spill or put something in the wrong place. Red has grasped this humor and has taken it to a whole different level. With her inflection, her drama, her face and look in her eyes….. it is wonderful to see my little girl use my humor on me.

All kids were ready for breakfast. I was joking with each of them. Chocolate Tuesdays are great days. And look who asked for some chocolate and has been converted into the group — I know he will be addicted to this routine so now we have 3 kids that will go wild for Chocolate Tuesday going forward.

I was joking and talking with the kids. I asked, “raise your hand if you are a twin.” Almost immediately Twin Husky raised his one hand, and then his other hand. He had both hands raised. Then evenutally Twin Crazy raised her hand too. I tried so hard to get a picture of both of them together raising their hands but it was difficult to do. It would have been a great picture.

Twin Crazy went crazy over cereal and after she was done she still wanted to be with the group – so she tried to fit in by grabbing a small chair and standing on it. So cute. All together.

Twin Husky was actually quite funny this morning. Making faces with his chocolate face; nodding his head up and down “yes” in a goofy way. Getting my attention by doing something funny and me praising him for making me laugh. He really is becoming much more “fun” and goofy.

We had only two drop offs today since Big Bro's public school is off for two weeks. Twin drop off was great – except that we couldn't find Twin Husky's tiger. So he may be difficult at nap time today. Big Bro and Red drop off was a bit stressful. Red was clingy and needed help with her teacher as we were leaving. Big Bro is in "camp" with some others and some old friends, but there is one child who has a VERY difficult time during drop off. I asked Big Bro if he wanted to introduce himself and ask the boy if he wanted to play. He quietly said "No." Inside, I couldn't believe what I saw. A poor child in a severe tantrum begging not to stay, saying that he didn't want to go, and his mother essentially tossed him on a couch while putting his jacket away. I know she must have been frustrated. I was stressed just hearing it. But I felt sad for the kid. A kid in an already tense situation feeling tossed aside by Mommy. I'm having trouble with this so I'll just stop here. I try not to judge but sometimes its hard.

I'm on the ferry now. I will be late for a 9 AM conference call. I then have two other meetings after that. And I REALLY need to do real work today. I MUST get the client deliverable in good shape and REALLY need to make sure these meeting minutes are complete by year end. Or else we'll look really foolish.

Highlights of My Working Day:
Wow. What a busy day.

I ran off the ferry and made it to the office just after 9 AM. I was a bit late to a conference call but they knew I would be late. It was an internal call. We talked about potential membership into an organization that would provide to us an opportunity to present, network, and potentially generate sales leads. I was also thinking of the objective of partnering with them to create another forum similar to the ones we already provide. It makes a ton of sense for us as a company to join forces with this organization. It could potentially open up an entire part of the market that has traditionally been hard to sell into with limited follow-on opportunities. If we are able to partner then we could potentially create another sales channel to create more leads with shorter sales cycles. I’m excited and glad to be involved. It will likely be a global effort.

I then had 20 minutes to review a proposal than an analyst drafted for our feedback. We then met with her to make the suggested changes. The proposal is going to need more work but we have time for that. I’m not worried about it (for now).

I then took a break, got some coffee, some water, fig newtons, and put on my make up in the bathroom. I looked like SHIT the whole morning.

I then had to prepare for a standing call with one of our partners for a forum we are creating. Our traction has stalled, seriously. We talked about go-to-market efforts and what we can do in the new year. We will need to evaluate in the new year whether we should continue with this effort or not. It is taking a lot of time so may not be worth it to continue. I sent out updated materials and templates and also sent out some emails after the call to prospective clients.

I grabbed a quick lunch at a shitty grilled cheese place right across from our office. I feel greasy now and it was a fancy grilled cheese – not like the ones I am used to in the Northeast (think orange american cheese on wonderbread where the cheese sticks to the fries in a New Jersey diner – no, this was NOT one of those an it cost me $10!!).

I then actually put my head down and started to WORK on the client deliverable that I know my client is waiting for. It is tedious. I’m not having a lot of fun finishing it up. But it’s important to him. So I do it. There is more to do, and he wants to talk tomorrow AM, so I will most likely work tonight after the kids get to bed to make sure he has it in his hands first thing in the AM. Like I don’t have anything else to do??!?!?!?!???!!? Uggggh. I HATE those nights where I have to work after the kids go to bed. I will try to be patient. Hopefully they will be cooperative. I’m looking forward to playing with them since I have not had good “play time” for several days now.

I am now on a ferry back. A later ferry since Big Bro is not in after-care so we are not crunched on time. The problem is that I’m used to picking them up 1 hour earlier and starting dinner. So, they may be VERY tired and hungry and cranky tonight for pickup. Maybe it will be a pasta night.

Dinner and Bedtime:

We picked Big Bro and Red up at pre-school/day camp and their entire conversation on the way home was centered around the menorah that she made out of frosting, marshmallows, and pretzels. Big Bro was curious about the pretzel entering the marshmallow, and if she used any frosting on the pretzel to keep it secure in the marshmallow. It was so cute. Them talking back and forth about the frosting, marshmallow, and pretzel (and no, the pretzel held tightly without any need for frosting “glue”).

Pick up for twins went fine; it was dark. All looked at the lights on houses.

Made a dinner of pasta, spinach, meat/parsley, and broccoli. Kids ate well. Both Big Bro and Red wanted to sit near me, so I sat at the head of the table with both at my side. Then Twin Crazy and Twin Husky came to me. They wanted to sit on my lap. So the three of us sat together eating off of one plate, with Big Bro to our left, and Red to our right. I finally felt like we were together.

We opened up a gift from my aunt (my Dad’s twin) – all the kids went nuts. There were for books with the theme “You are Loved”. They were excited about reading them tonight.

We ate marshmallow menorah and gingerbread house after dinner. The kids shared which was great to see. The Twins loved marshmallows. We played. Princess dominos and trains.

We headed off to bed without a problem. Big Bro and Red helped clean the toys up. They brushed without a problem and got ready for bed. I said I would read all four books to them. Red sat on my lap. Big Bro grabbed his blanket off the bed and we all snuggled under it as I read. “You are loved.”

It’s been a good day. A busy day. A full day. We started with giggles, I ran ragged at work, relaxed with kids at the end, and now after this I need to open up my laptop and finish some client work. And after that I have to work on a Christmas present. I have not started to think about a calendar or holiday card this year. One thing at a time.

Til tomorrow –
– Mama K

Filed Under: Daily Journal Tagged With: books, flex time, hunger, menorah, nutella, parenting, part-time work, running, working mom, working mother

December 16: Fighting stage fright

December 16, 2011 by Mama K 4 Comments

Are you afraid of public speaking? Do you still get jitters if you have to address a large crowd???? Were you like this as a child? Big Bro is such a child. I would actually say that his shyness and fear of being in front of big crowds is a bit over-the-top.

Let me give you some examples.

When he turned two, his daycare had a cake for him and two other children. His grandparents were there for the festivities. During his birthday song he completely lost it and could not bear to sit through the song without burying his head in his “teacher’s” embrace while sitting on her lap.
At Halloween his daycare would have a costume parade and he could not Participate in the parade without crying; when seeing me or hubby he would just burst out of line and run to us
Similar experience with Halloween and also Chinese new year parade at daycare just last year
various activities or events at daycare when his “class” would sing songs to the parents – he would know all the words and be fine at practice, but as soon as the day came in front of the parents, he would just fall to pieces
at pre-school graduation he was to embarrassed to walk across the room for his rolled up diploma. The teacher had to walk it over to him.
At birthday parties with activities like basketball lessons or bowling, it either takes him a long time to warm up to the event or he simply does not participate at all.

Last year at his new daycare, he volunteered to be the starring role for a short holiday story. He practiced real hard and knew his lines and knew the acting he had to do and his teachers were so psyched about those practices. I still supported him wondering if he finally turned a corner and could be brave enough to follow through. Heart pounding, I arrived early and hid behind a separation in the room, completely out of sight in the stage area. The class came out. Big Bro took position. And then they just sat there for like 15 minutes or so until the parents arrived and the seats started to fill up. The poor little guy had to sit there with his heart pounding watch the audience build. Finally they started the program, with Big Bro in center stage – a position that he volunteered for…… His lips were being licked, his shoulders started to rise and head slump to the side like was trying to hide, and then he eventually broke down saying “I don’t want to do this anymore”. Laughter. Confusion. A stand-in jumps in where Big Bro left off. My heart sank. But I was expecting it. A part of me felt guilty for not stepping in to let the teachers know more forcefully. But I let him do it. I let him volunteer. And I let him fail. I was hopeful, but it turned out the way I knew it probably would. I went to him and told him how proud I was of him – how he worked hard at practicing and how he knew the play. How I knew that it must have been scary for him and how it’s OK to be scared. How I used to be scared too when I had those kinds of things when I was a kid. And I held him in my lap. And he watched the rest of the performance on my lap. And I held him and I was dying inside feeling like I needed to cry and wishing I could do more for him. And wishing it wasn’t so awkward when he ran off. Why do parents in the audience laugh at such things???????

Anyway, back to today. I already informed his teacher that there might be a problem with today’s performance. All 3 kindergarten classes came tougher on a tiered stage to sing 20 excruciating minutes of delightful holiday songs. His class’ line came out. He was already twisting his arms and neck. Oh no this doesn’t look good. It took another 3 minutes to get the rest of the kids up there. He immediately started to cry, bury his face in his sleeves, head down and trying to hide.

But…. he stayed in position. They started the program quickly thank goodness. He did not at any point in time utter a word of song. He instead continued to cry in position. I sat there Frozen. Wanting to do something but also not wanting…. Wanting to see if he could pull it together. He wasn’t running off stage!!!!! He stayed in position!!!! He eventually stopped crying!!!!!! He didn’t sing, but he stayed up there with his classmates!!!!! He stood there with his head looking forward, just looking a bit zoned out and looking at the audience. Whenever he looked at me I gave him a huge smile and thumbs up and tried to mouth the words “you’re DOING it!!!!!!!!”.

Let me tell you it was hard listening to the parents (“did he have a rough morning at home or something?”) but I was beaming for him. I met him immediately off of the side of the stage and again told him how proud of him I was, how he did a great job of staying up there, and how he did a great job of “pulling it together.”

He really has come a long way. And so have I. I am stronger for him and holding back trying to save him from these kinds of situations.

And look at his beaming face afterwards

And look at his self portrait, brown hair with hints of red, mouth wide open and singing. 🙂

I love him so much it hurts. And this story had to be told in full over and above the other things that happened today.

Have a great weekend Mamas!!!! Hold your little ones tight!!!!
Until next week –
– Mama K

Filed Under: Daily Journal Tagged With: love, parenting, pride, stage fright, working mom, working mother

December 15: Creating memories with the kids

December 15, 2011 by Mama K Leave a Comment

Today was a great, great day. It couldn’t have gone better. I was at home with the Twins and not working. Our day was filled with school activities for both Big Bro and Red, so we ran around today spending time with the older kids. I loved the time today with them.

The Twins and I had a great time today walking Big Bro to school, talking about basketball nets, kicking soccer balls inside our living room, eating snacks, counting to 10, tickling and giggling, chasing and squealing, and getting excited about our outings to the schools. Here are some highlights:

We walked Big Bro to school in the drizzly rain. Big Bro was on his scooter and we met up with the “Motley Crew” on our way – but they had umbrellas. It was so cute…

Twin Crazy wants to do everything by herself now. Walking down the stairs, putting on her shoes, buckling her stroller seat and top buckle on her car seat, and now wiping her nose. She is very independent and gets very upset if you try to help her without asking if you can, first.

We went back to Big Bro’s school shortly afterwards where they were decorating ginger bread houses… essentially graham cracker houses with candies all over it. The twins loved looking at all the colors and candy. Big Bro seemed excited to see us there. He was proud of his house. He looked like he was having fun and I’m glad we were able to experience this with him.

The twins were doing a lot of playing by themselves, talking, laughing, giggling. Playing by the play kitchen area, walking in circles around our play choo-choo train tracks while singing, etc. I have so many movies they are so cute. They also spent time taking wipes and wiping me off and cleaning me up. So cute.

I had a moment with Twin Crazy and danced with her softly in the kitchen for awhile. She was getting tired.

After naps, we went to see Red at her school for her performance. We arrived for a party beforehand and we provided the fruit. She was ready for her songs. She knew the words and she was wearing her string of pearls when she was a flower girl. She did so GREAT!!! She was up there singing the words…. not really doing the arm motions that they taught them, but at least she was up there, didn’t cry or run off stage, and she sang her words and I AM SO PROUD OF HER!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The twins were great and very well behaved, as usual.

The kids played in Red’s classroom afterwards – with big rubber animals and dinosaurs. And also helped to put all of the toys back where they belonged before we left.

At home, I was getting pizza toppings ready as all of the kids were “cooking” their own dinner.

We did a little bit of playing but then we whisked them upstairs — Big Bro has his performance tomorrow and I want to make sure he is well rested for it.

It was a great day since not only did I have the opportunity to spend quality time with Twin Crazy and Twin Husky, but as a Trio we adventured off to see Big Bro (and he was thrilled) and also adventured off to see Red in a performance! It was seriously too good to be true.

The night did not turn out that great for other reasons, but that is a story for another time – or maybe even a separate blog??!??!?! 🙂

Til tomorrow –
– Mama K

Filed Under: Daily Journal Tagged With: flex time, parenting, performance, working mom, working mother

Random Thought: How did you hear of Mama In Motion?

December 14, 2011 by Mama K Leave a Comment

Hi Ladies —

The Mama In Motion audience has grown somewhat and I’d like to resend this poll to see if there are some channels that are working better than others to reach more people.

If you’ve already participated in this poll, you will likely not be able to do so again — but for all of you newer Mamas out there, please participate! Thank you so much!! – Mama K

Random Thought: How did you hear of Mama In Motion?.

Filed Under: Random Thoughts Tagged With: facebook, marketing, parenting, search engines, twitter, wordpress, working mom, working mother

December 13: Reconnecting with my little ones

December 13, 2011 by Mama K Leave a Comment

Chocolate Tuesday! Last night I arrived late and was not able to spend much time with Big Bro and Red (and no time with Twin Crazy and Twin Husky). So this morning was great for me and I spent a lot of time re-connecting with the kids — I also feel like I have a lot more to say about my morning with them since I missed them last night.

HIghlights of the Morning and Commute:

Twins got up, “Mommy, mommy, mommy!!” I gently kissed their heads, touched their faces, said good-morning to them and that I missed them last night – we didn’t get to see each other last night….. they both seemed to be in an EXCELLENT mood.
We all went into Big Bro and Red’s room — Twin Crazy and Twin Husky were having a great time running around while Big Bro and Red were still stretching and waking up. Somehow we got on the conversation of things the kids used to say when they were toddlers. For Big Bro, it was, “OK? OK.” and we were laughing. Then Big Bro got excited to tell me about a story. “Remember when [Red] used to say, “I love play, I love play.”? [She used to say it in a sing-song voice with inflection, so cute]. “Well remember that time when she was saying “I love play, I love play” and you said: “[Red], I know that you like to play. But it’s not time to play right now. Now it’s time to go to bed.” And he started laughing. Both were laughing. I guess it was amusing to him that night long ago as well. How does he remember that? I certainly don’t. But I do recognize how she would have said that, and how that would have been my response to her given that same situation. I had him record the story so I could post it here, but I’m having technical difficulty UGGGGH — I’d like to figure this out so he can start doing more voice recordings… I suspect it would help his story-telling and boost his self-confidence.
Big Bro and Red had their clothes all ready for the AM….

Red made her bed and ran into my room to tell me. So of course I had to go and check her work and make a big deal about it….

Downstairs, Big Bro and Red fought over the bar-stool at the corner of the counter. At the opposite end of the spectrum, Twin Husky and Twin Crazy were busy eating breakfast right on top of each other. They really are inseperable.

I made a mistake about referring to Twin Crazy and Twin Husky as “the babies”. And then I immediately looked at everyone and said “wait a minute…. you are not BABIES…. why did I say that???!?!??! You [Twin Crazy] are a little GIRL….. and you [Twin Husky] are a little BOY. Why did I call you babies????!?!!? That is so silly.” And everyone was laughing and then Twin Crazy and Twin Husky in their own little way were participating in the story — Twin Husky by uttering one or two one-word phrases (baby, boy), and Twin Crazy by mumbling something and using inflection and long sentences that are not understandable by anyone (well, except maybe by her twin brother).
Twin Crazy told me that Twin Husky’s animal (tiger) had suffered a spill, in her own way….. mumbling, inflecting, “spill”, pointing. I understood and repeated what I thought she was saying and told them that “it’s OK, its just a spill, I will clean it up”…. and then “there, I’m cleaning it up, and that seems better. Is that better?” And both Twin Husky and Twin Crazy agreed. “Better” they both said. I love that we are having “conversations” at this point. I just have to be careful not to make it too easy for them to just mumble something. I want them to try to get the words out. But this stage is honestly a lot of fun. Their development as individuals and hearing and understanding what they are thinking about.
We decided to make the drop-offs all together today, but it was going to be tight. I dropped of Red and it went very smoothly. She knew I was in a rush so she went to her teacher with open arms very quickly. We hit traffic on the way to drop offs #2 and #3 so I decided to take Big Bro off at a stop sign and continue with the Big Bro drop off while Hubby took the Twins. Hubby then picked me up and we made it just in time to the ferry.

The commute on the ferry was interesting today. I’m getting to know the people who make this trip daily. Today I sat with “Joe” who is probably in his 60s but is on his 3rd masters degree – he is a New Yorker who relocated to the West Coast in 1992. He was complaining about his class – something about applied mathematics in physics or astronomy or something – and how it was so over-the-top. I love people like this. Still with energy. Still going for his dreams. Talking with people and interacting and living life. I am automatically drawn to people like this. I love people who LIVE their lives versus those that just go day-by-day. You only get one life in my opinion and you have to make the most of it. It seems like Joe is.

We couldn’t help but talk about New York City – and how I used to live there and miss it there and how I feel comfort in hearing his voice and hearing his accent. I told him my story about how I knew I would someday live where I am now – and how after my MBA I just picked up and moved cross-country by myself to fulfill that dream. But also how now, 10+ years and four children later, I believe this city is not the best place anymore for me or my family. Joe agrees. He says “Yes, well if you put your children first, there are a lot of other places that you should be looking at to live.” Yes. I agree. 100%. But some things I cannot change. No matter how much reason and logic and communication goes into the effort. Hoooooo hummm. What to do? Go to work and make the best of the situation.

Highlights of my Working Day:

I had the bulk of my day as quiet time. No meetings scheduled. So I used this time to focus on completing / refining my client deliverable. It was good to get that part done. Once we get feedback from the client I will have an analyst complete the work based upon the structure that I developed today.
I also spent some time preparing for my day tomorrow (my work-from-home day). I gathered documents that I will need to reference for some work I plan to do.

It was a quiet day. It was a relatively productive day. I am on the ferry home now and thinking about dinner. I think we’ll have flat-meat steak tonight. I miss the kids. I miss them from not being there with them last night. I hope to reconnect with EACH of them tonight. And maybe get some more voice recordings out of Big Bro.

Dinner and Bedtime:

I had all pick-ups tonight and got Red first. She was excited to show me Christmas confetti. She told me all about it – how it is smooth, and shiny, and how the pieces are hard to pick up when they fall on the floor. She struck me as such a big girl then – how she was talking, the words she was using, and how she was teaching me something “new”.

I then picked up Big Bro, and Twin Crazy and Twin Husky. There was one house on the cul-de-sac at the Twins’ daycare that was completely drenched in lights. So we went further down the road to check it out. I heard “ohhs” and “ahhhs” and we talked about all of the lights, the trees, the reindeer, how they ran the lights up the driveway, etc. On our way out Twin Husky started the song of “bye-bye lights”.
I cooked dinner while the kids entertained themselves. Red shared her confetti with Big Bro after Big Bro asked her politely (and with my guidance and prompting). I am proud of both of them.
Twin Crazy kept standing on the stool and turning on and off the kitchen lights.
Kids ate well – steak, string beans, cous-cous. Hubby came in and everyone was well behaved and eating great.
After dinner was bathtime. I had fun playing with Twin Crazy about “bath, book, night-night”. She was so excited for a bath. She was literally jumping up and down dancing. Imagine each week cutting 80 fingernails and toenails. Yes, I do it.
Bedtime was easy for the Twins, but was really rough for Red and Big Bro. Red was cranky when I got to her. I helped her brush her teeth but sat her in water. So we changed. Then I made the mistake of making her laugh while she was rinsing, so she spit the water all over herself. We both cracked up and then got changed again.
Now Big Bro is STILL crying outside of my door because of his “owie” skinned knee. I already went in there once to talk about his feelings and how its normal for owies to hurt like this, and that there really isn’t that much that I can do except to tell him that I understand, to tell him that I know it hurts, to tell him that I know he must be mad and frustrated, but to also know that his body is doing its work by healing itself — and the best thing he could do is to get some sleep so his body can be strong enough to heal itself better, faster. Now I know it hurts him, but there’s something more to this… I personally think he needs more “mommy time” – looking back on tonight, I spent a lot of time with the Twins and then with Red since she was cranky. The most he got out of me tonight was the time I had with him cutting his nails! He didn’t get booktime with me or individual time with me… I really need to fix this tomorrow. I’ll pick him up early tomorrow afternoon.

So today was a long day; filled of things that I am reflecting on. I feel like Tuesdays in particular are intense for me since I’m trying to reconnect with everyone and sometimes I fall short on a child. In this case it’s Big Bro. I need to better figure out how to divide my time and make it seem more equitable – if at all possible…

Till tomorrow –
– Mama K

Filed Under: Daily Journal Tagged With: children, emotional connections, mommy time, parenting, tantrums, working mom, working mother

December 12: Keeping up with the Joneses

December 12, 2011 by Mama K 5 Comments

Another Monday. This one cold and gray. I’m coming off a great weekend with the kids. We went to the library (quite a treat, even for the 2 yr olds), toured closeby neighborhoods looking at lights, and went on another steam train ride.

We started doing the “responsibility boards” with the kids again where you put little magnet “jobs” on the board and the kids and you evaluate their performance on those jobs – if they did well, they get a happy face magnet for that job on that day. Some of the jobs include making the bed, getting dressed, brushing teeth, etc. and we find that these boards really do make a difference in their behavior, at least in the short term while there is still novelty to it.

So this morning the kids were way ahead of me:

Highlights of the Morning and My Commute:

Big Bro and I were getting dressed and he came into our room and said he wanted to do a getting dressed race. We’re on! He won, of course.
He then came in and proudly said, “Mommy, I already woke up, went pee, brushed my teeth, got dressed, and even made my bed all by myself.” I made a big deal of this and then walked into the room to check his work. He was so proud. I looked over and then also saw that Red did the same with her bed – and also arranged her dolls and put her favorite sleep animal on her pillow. I made a big deal about this too and later when she decided she wanted the animal I walked up with her and noticed her proud smile creeping across her face with each step upwards. By the time we reached her room and her bed, her face was alight with pride and she had to cover her face in her bed with her smiles and her laughter. I both love and hate how these kids are getting so big so fast – on one hand I love to see the people they are becoming but on another hand they are growing out of the age of innocence.

Twin Husky was busy downstairs rolling things. Luggage bags, shopping carts, play strollers. He was just busy busy busy strolling and rolling all over the place and around the downstairs.

Twin Crazy was walking around looking mad. Her eyebrows were furrowed since Hubby reprimanded her for something. She holds a grudge. Her face looked so cute all mad. I talked with her about how she looked mad and how that feels. I’m talking a lot with these younger kids about their feelings and what they are feeling and how even I have those feelings. After spending so much time with the little ones, I think I need to be spending the same amount of time with the 3 and 5 year old too. Sometimes I just assume that they “get it” since they are older but it’s probably good to spend the time on this subject with them too.
I took Red to school today and sat with her while she traced a candy cane. I asked her to save it for me so I can see it tonight. She asked me to write her name on it and I said each letter as I wrote it. She also wanted my name on it so again, M, O, M, M, Y. She seemed satisfied with this so she continued her art and smiled at me as I walked away.

I’m feeling a bit down today. Folks on the ferry are talking about how this area is over-priced and how their going to buy for an investment but only stay 4 or so years until they have kids and find another place to live. This has been such an issue in our family and it is hard for me to accept. What started this funk that I’m in today?? I think I know what it is…

Over the weekend we received a holiday card where the whole card was an array of pictures during a private-blimp tour of the city. Yes, a blimp. Three generations of the family each with beaming smiles while they were on their own private blimp-ride. Yes, there are pictures of the grandchildren wearing headphones and pictures of the windows overlooking the city and everyone with big smiles. Yes, it was just them, in the blimp. A blimp. Did I say a blimp????!?!?!?

The city where I live is essentially comprised of people that “have”, and “have not”. There really isn’t an in-between. And folks/families like ours have to work our asses off just to get by – and not even live lavishly. Mind you, I don’t need or want fancy clothes or a fancy car or decadent vacations. But I would like to be able to afford a house of my own to shelter my kids with a yard where they can play, and not have to feel like I have to work like mad to get there. At 41 and with an MBA, shouldn’t I be able to do this??? So I looked at that holiday card and became less hopeful of the area in which we live and my feeling of just “not belonging.” Mmmmm. That’s a bit deep for now. So not to dwell on things I cannot change, I should focus my energy on what I can change. I can play a pivotal role in how my children develop as people. So I guess it that is where I should focus my energy going forward, right??!!? Right.

Today at work I have some clean up items to begin with my client deliverable but honestly the rest of the day is a bit scattered. I will take this time to clean up some loose ends from our last forums and set myself up to start the planning for the next forums happening in April.

Highlights of My Working Day:

We had an hour team sales meeting; during this time I updated the team on the sales efforts I am leading. I spent time talking about how I am trying to generate incremental revenues from the forums I am managing — the two forums are very different in nature and I am using different strategies to generate sales for each (selling new services to existing members, versus gaining new clients to grow membership). I speak with authority during these discussions since I own the forums and associated sales efforts. What needs to happen in the next 4 – 6 months though is to actually CONVERT these efforts to revenue. I need to make this happen so that this reduced work arrangement can be safe.
We also had a team lunch meeting where we did a White Elephant holiday exchange. I wrapped up two big stuffed animal dolls that neither Red or Twin Crazy have EVER played with and it was selected by my firm’s CEO. Too funny. I walked away with a pair of comfy wool socks. Especially made for a left foot vs. right foot! I never owned a pair so am looking forward to busting into them tonight (its the simple pleasures in life, right?).
I had a conference call with an ex-colleague of mine from 10+ years ago. I’ve managed to stay in touch pretty well with the people I have personally worked with through the years. This has been paying off for me lately. I am able to leverage them to get closer to business opportunities and now this friend/ex-colleague has come to us with a very interesting idea for another forum we can possibly create. It is an interesting idea, and potentially one that could change the industry over time if it works and works well. My Director is pretty excited by it, and we have the right contacts at other organizations to help push this idea further. This could be something big… and something that came about for our Firm because of my network. I want to see this happen and if it does, it can be big for me and my credibility within the company and maybe even the industry. DREAM BIG!!!

I spent the rest of the day doing admin-related items; tomorrow my day looks very free so I will be able to put my head down and actually do some work.

The Rest of My Day:

I’m on my way now to an appointment. So I’ll be late seeing the older kids tonight. Again, I’m not in a great mood. At any rate, I’ll close out this day with a Guinness for my dinner and hopefully will be able to talk to Big Bro and Red tonight before they go to bed. And then I’ll put on my new socks and join their slumber in my own room.

Till tomorrow –
– Mama K

Filed Under: Daily Journal Tagged With: meetings, networking, parenting, part-time, positive reinforcement, responsibility charts, White Elephant, working mom, working mother

Staying Sane: Easy things to do with your kids during the Holidays

December 11, 2011 by Mama K 1 Comment

OK, it’s Sunday. I usually post a “Staying Sane” piece but this week I’m going to cheat and “borrow” someone else’s terrific idea and add to it. I came across this blog entry and shared it on the Mama In Motion Facebook page. But I think it’s worthy of posting here as well – since we have 2 weeks to go until Christmas, and tensions at this point may be running high for you as a working mother. We all can use any ideas to help stay sane.

Try to take it easy on yourself. Outsource the shopping to your computer and/or Amazon. Do your cards through USPS and they can put them in envelops and stamp and send them for you. If you are like me, we try too hard to do everything for everybody; BUT, I don’t think we need to put pressures on ourselves to be super-women when it comes to providing a good, memorable experience for our children.

I saw the below list (Source: http://www.domesticsimplicity.com; http://wp.me/pfg42-N) and so much resonated with me — there a lots of fun things to do with the kids that aren’t huge projects but could create memorable traditions. Take a look and maybe you’ll see something new; I’ve added my thoughts at the bottom. Add yours too!

Thanks for listening –

– Mama K

Source: http://www.domesticsimplicity.com; http://wp.me/pfg42-N

50 Things To Do With Kids in December:

Go out and look at Christmas lights
Bake cookies
Pick out and put up the Christmas Tree
Decorate the Christmas Tree
Make an Ice Wreath
Make Cinnamon Applesauce and/or Salt Dough ornaments
Make and decorate gingerbread houses
Sing Christmas Songs
Visit Santa
Buy and donate toys for Toys For Tots
Help to wrap presents for friends and family
Act out the Christmas story
Make Reindeer Food
Make homemade Christmas color/glitter play dough (and scent it with peppermint) to give to friends
Make and decorate gingerbread people
Make popcorn and cranberry garland
Go on a sleigh ride
Make paper chains for the Christmas tree
Write a letter to Santa
Watch a holiday movie
Check out holiday books at the library
Leave out shoes for St. Nicholas
Eat Candy Canes
Hang stockings on the mantle or banister
Put out the Nativity Scene
Address and Mail holiday cards
Pick a special family ornament for the year
Make a special plate for Santa’s cookies and the reindeer’s carrots
Go to see The Nutcracker
Go to a holiday parade
Go to a candy store for a holiday treat
Tie bells with ribbons and hang them around the house
Make cards and gifts for teachers
Go to the dollar store and pick gifts for family
Make special cards to send to cousins
Have a Random Acts of Kindness Day(s)
Make cards to send to troops or to bring to a nursing home
Grocery shop just to take to a food bank or donation boxes
Learn a Christmas song on the guitar or piano
Make a present for Santa
Celebrate the Winter Solstice
Make Winter Tea
Make/Put out food for birds and squirrels
Make orange and clove pomanders
Look through favorite Christmas Cards from friends and family from years past
Start a garland or photo album with your own family holiday cards from years past
Prep and freeze a special breakfast for Christmas morning
Make hot chocolate balls
Make snow globes
Do research on holiday traditions around the world and choose one to add to family traditions

Mama K’s additions:

51. Have the kids draw a picture for Santa to leave out on Christmas Eve

52. Have the kids dress in red and/or green on several days leading up to Christmas

53. Make Christmas socks (simpler than shirts) — white socks with red and green dye; who cares what they’ll look like, the kids will probably love them anyway

54. Have your kids draw the present they would like Santa to bring to them

55. Have your kids make cards for their teachers

56. Make home-made hot chocolate and put a candy-cane on the top for them

57. Get red and green ice-cream — strawberry or vanilla (and add food colooring) and mint or vanilla with food coloring)

58. Go to a downtown area where you live and visit office building lobbies and look at their decorations

59. Go ice-skating

60. Get Santa hats and wear yours after work until they go to bed…. while cooking, eating dinner, helping them get ready for bed, etc

61. Get clown “red ball” noses and put them on so you all can be Rudolph; buy headband “antlers” and do the same…

62. Find a picture of you as a child sitting on Santa’s lap and see what kind of reaction you get

63. Get some string and some clips and have the kids help you string up the holiday cards you receive from others

64. Buy some jingle bells and have your kids wear them in their jean pocket

65. Dress up your pet

66. Use those big Amazon boxes and let your kids decorate them as Santa’s sleigh

And what else can you think of to add to the list????

Filed Under: Staying Sane Tagged With: easy, fun, holiday activities, memories, parenting, traditions, working mom, working mother

December 9: Tantrums, sickness, lack of sleep X FOUR

December 9, 2011 by Mama K Leave a Comment

Happy Friday! Today is a “stay-at-home” day with me and the Twins. It has been a bit of a rough day so far…

Highlights of the Morning and Early Afternoon:

I woke up a big hungover to three kids in my bed – Red, and the Twins. What was absolutely adorable was Red was reading to each of them.

Big Bro put on a t-shirt and shorts. Mind you, it’s 37 degrees outside. I pleaded with him to think about the cold outside and think about pants. The problem is that it does actually warm up during the day, and he is very hot-blooded. So my pleading went ignored – but I left it up to him to make his own decision.

Everyone was a bit cranky this morning. The Twins both are sick. Sneezing and big red rashes all over the place. Roseola? Not sure. But they are cranky and clingy. Big Bro is whining about everything. Red starts her whining when it came to her socks. By the time we were on her jacket, she was in full-fledged tantrum. I think the Twins’ bad moods for being sick kindof rubbed off on the older two who maybe didn’t get enough sleep last night. Anyway, all four of them were not very enjoyable this morning. Or, maybe was it the wine I drank last night??!?!?!?

Big Bro scootered to school while I strollered the Twins. We were extremely late. By the time we got there he was the last one in but at least we caught up with the group. He then runs outside to me in tears because he forgot his library book. I said I would go back and get it. I looked into his eyes and he looked terrible. I’m putting these kids to bed early tonight.

On the stroller ride home with the Twins, I took it slow. We talked about things that we saw. I miss this with them. When Big Bro and later Red were small and we were living in the city, I would stroller them to daycare which was in my office building. So at that time, I had the opportunity to talk about so many things with them – it was city living so there was just a lot to look at and teach. Water fountains, big buildings, lights (and counting the lights), going into building lobbies and talking about the holiday decorations, pointing out the flags, etc. Now with the Twins, we commute primarily by mini-van. On days that I stroll with them, particularly on Thursday and Fridays when we are coming back home, I really want to take it slow with them. I feel like I have a lot of catching up to do with these two. We talked about the crows and how they fly away and how big their wings are. We saw two dogs playing so we pulled over to watch them play and we talked about how funny it is to see dogs and how they play and wrestle and run around in circles. We talked about the holiday decorations that we saw. Twin Husky initiated conversation about the playground and the slides. Twin Husky is still pointing out all of the basketball nets. We talked about the busier road and how cars drive fast on that road. We talked about flowers and spent some time looking at them. I talked with them the whole way home and felt better that I am doing more now to teach them about the world around them.

I started looking for Big Bro’s library book and found it. I threw 2 diapers and a small package of wipes in my handbag. Also two little cars to keep the kids entertained. I’m taking them out to breakfast! I went to drop off the book, and Big Bro’s class was not there – so I left a present for him….

Then we headed out for breakfast. I parked and decided NOT to stroller them, but to walk the two blocks. The kids had a great time and Twin Crazy almost looked proud to be walking with me, holding my hand, and crossing the street like a big girl. While at breakfast, our table was close to all of these holiday decorations and the board underneath a HUGE penguin kept getting pushed in by Twin Husky, therefore leading the penguin to almost coming crashing down on us twice. He is such a boy. He needs to touch everything. The penguin incident happened TWO times so he didn’t even learn from the first time. We had a good breakfast nonetheless, and the twins had lots of fun things to look at in this greasy spoon of a diner.

Once we got back I had to care for sick twins. Both were extremely cranky. I had snot to deal with, red skin to deal with, sore noses to deal with, and medicine to give. It took about 15 minutes for the caregiving to kick in and after that they were much more pleasant.

We headed upstairs and I read them books. I love how they get so excited over the books. They each run for a book for me to read. Sometimes I read to them, and sometimes they read picture books to me. They love it. They love turning the pages. They love making the sounds that animals make. They love talking with me about what they see on the page. Once I say that the books are done and its time for their nap, they don’t even fight it. They welcome it. I kiss them and they grab hold of their stuffed animals and blankets and begin to doze.

They’re down for a nap now and I am getting some things done around the house. I enjoy this quiet time where I can focus on things that I normally would not be able to. The sun is out and I’m feeling good. The twins are quiet so it seems like they are busy sleeping.

The Rest of the Day:

The twins both woke up in foul moods. Twin Crazy was having a hard time sleeping the entire time because of her stuffed up nose. They’re both sick and struggling. I packed them up, picked up Big Bro, and headed out to a friends house who had a HUGE hand-me-down dollhouse and lots of hand-me-down clothes for all of the kids.

The dollhouse was bigger than expected. I thought I’d be able to slip it in the back and cover it up quickly before Big Bro would see it, that way it could be from Santa. No such luck. This thing was HUGE. Four feet tall, at least. I think 4 floors. It wouldn’t fit in the trunk of the mini-van. I tried over and over to shove it in. Of course Big Bro saw it. So I tried to get one of the seats to fold under to give more room. It was stuck. Me and Big Bro were trying to figure it out. He noticed that his car seat was in the way. I eventually got it. Both of us were excited and proud. What a team!!! The thing took up a big part of the van on the way home. Too funny.

Hubby picked up Red while I cooked dinner; Flat Meat with chicken and I did a marinade with mango jelly and basil. Big Bro was throwing tantrums left and right. He was really, really difficult to deal with tonight. The dinner was very good. The kids ate well but it took them awhile to get started — again, their crankiness was a bit too much to bear. I started to drink a Guinness..

After dinner we brought out the dollhouse and Big Bro, Red, and Twin Crazy had fun cleaning it. The three of them seem really excited about it. I would have loved it if I had it when I was a kid. Maybe Santa can get Red some proper dolls to play with it, and maybe some more furniture.

There were huge tantrums tonight with the older kids about graham crackers, going to the potty, etc. I just think that both of them were way too tired.

So, today was great in that we have all of this new “loot” in the house – clothes, dollhouse, etc. But honestly ALL of the kids were so hard today. All the result of too little sleep and being sick. I really need for Big Bro to nap this weekend. And I hope the kids sleep in a bit tomorrow. Because I know I’ll be moving slowly…

Have a great weekend everyone –
Til next week –
– Mama K

Filed Under: Daily Journal Tagged With: breakfast, cranky, parenting, part-time, scooter, sick, sleep, stroller, teaching, working mom, working mother

December 8: All day keeping me on my toes…

December 8, 2011 by Mama K Leave a Comment

Today was a bit of a strange day. I am normally off from work on Thursdays. But when I started my “new” work arrangement with my company, one of their conditions was that I would/could be flexible if push came to shove, particularly supporting client projects. So of course I granted them that wish. After all, this is management consulting, and flexibility to meet your client need is an absolute minimum requirement for the job. So, I worked today since I had a client meeting scheduled for today.

But, Hubby had a meeting at 7:45 AM, and I had a conference call at 8:30 AM, which complicated things a bit… I would be on my own for all drop offs and we also had to leave earlier so I could be back in time for my conference call….

Highlights of the Morning and Commute:

Older kids were up and excited to get dressed by themselves, since their piles were already out and they were looking for positive reinforcement. Big Bro was excited to wear a new spiderman shirt I got him yesterday.

We were talking about the need for everyone to be ready to leave early, and for Big Bro to have his backpack ready (as an example). The next thing we knew, Twin Husky came walking into the kitchen dragging Big Bro’s backpack and using all of his body strength to lift it up and hand it over to Big Bro to help. That was just so cute I couldn’t stand it.

Honestly, the rest of the morning was a bit of a blur. I can’t think of anything else that stood out…there were the diaper changes, the lunches to pack, the shoes to put on, the jackets to put on, loading the kids in the car…..

I did all the drop offs; Red first, then Twins, then Big Bro. I made it back home with 10 minutes to spare to prepare for my conference call. I re-filled my coffee mug and booted up my computer.

Highlights of My Working Day:

I had the conference call and got some good feedback from one of the participants of the forum that we are trying to sell a membership to. He liked the forum but their business may not be big enough to be relevant for the group. I would not take “no” for an answer so I invited him again as a guest for the next meeting in April in hopes that he wants to become a member.

I jumped in the van, and drove into the city. I was starved. I was contemplating a McDonald’s run, but feared I would be late. This was a good call, since there was traffic on the highway. So I blasted loud music and enjoyed my drive into the city, yes, with a minivan. uggh.

I made it to the office just in time to shove some graham crackers in my mouth and then start at 10 AM conference call with a Director and another new member to one of our forums. I lead the meeting and focused more on how this particular person could help us drive additional members. I’m in sales mode. He has contacts at great companies and he is really easy to collaborate with – I’m enjoying working with him to build this forum and grow it to something much bigger than it currently is….

I grabbed lunch. Grilled cheese. Comfort food. I’m starved and it is cold outside.

We then had our client meeting. We’ve done good work for them, but this is a kind of project where you just want to shake some sense into your client. Their business idea doesn’t make sense given the risk and reward and they are very naive about some obvious aspects of the business. So I’m hoping things go well with them, but we’ve raised the issues so we’ve done what we can do to provide our advice.

I did some admin items afterwards and then headed home. I picked up take out dinner (BBQ) and picked up the Twins.

Dinner and Bedtime:

Dinner was BBQ. It was delicious. Kids ate well. Twin Husky was eating ribs like they were going out of style and I was calling them “dinosaur bones”. He is such a boy. Almost reminds me of a pint-sized man.

After dinner, Hubby took out a “Santa train” that essentially goes around the Christmas tree. All kids were going nuts. Twin Crazy wanted to dance with me to the Chrismas music. Big Bro was all over the tracks, the trains, and the controls. He was observing everything and figured out why the train wouldn’t work at any given time. He loved controlling the thing. Red was being such a big sister/mother to Twin Husky and to Twin Crazy. It was really too cute to witness. She was instructing them on where to sit (far away from the tracks) and how it works, and hugging them and holding their hands. It really was too much for me to watch. They are so sweet with each other it is almost crazy.

Bedtime with the Twins was great. They grabbed their animals/blankets and walked upstairs, blew kisses to folks below, brushed teeth, read books, sang a song, and willingly went to bed in their cribs.

Bedtime for the older ones were a different story. Whining, crying, defiance, more crying, etc. etc. I finally had to leave. I said I would not read books if they did not cooperate. I gave them a chance to cooperate. They did not. So I left. I left Hubby up there dealing with two cranky crazy kids because I want to teach them to understand that I follow through with what I say. If they don’t follow instructions and are defiant even if I’m trying to understand the issue, I warn them what will happen and then I need to follow through. So I left. They’re quiet now so I guess they were just super-tired.

I had two glasses of wine tonight. I am not working tomorrow. I may take the Twins to the doctor if they have room in their schedule for us. If not, I want to take them to a museum. I’m sure I’ll figure something out over a big pot of coffee….

And now Red is screaming upstairs so I guess I’d better go and see what’s wrong…

Until tomorrow –
– Mama K

Filed Under: Daily Journal Tagged With: busy, children, conference call, parenting, presentation, running, tantrums, working mom, working mother

December 21: Santa Claus is Coming to Town (Amazon)

December 20: You are Loved

December 16: Fighting stage fright

December 15: Creating memories with the kids

Random Thought: How did you hear of Mama In Motion?

December 13: Reconnecting with my little ones

December 12: Keeping up with the Joneses

Staying Sane: Easy things to do with your kids during the Holidays

December 9: Tantrums, sickness, lack of sleep X FOUR

December 8: All day keeping me on my toes…

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