part-time – Mama In Motion™

January 9: Busy and Broken

January 9, 2012 by Mama K Leave a Comment

I had a bit of a stressful morning, coupled with lack of sleep. Big Bro woke up in the middle of the night with a horrendous cough and was crying. I stayed up with him a bit, got him to take some medicine, and got him back to bed. There’s been a lot on my mind lately so it was hard for me to go back to sleep.

Highlights of the Morning and Commute:

I woke up and got ready quickly. Twin Crazy and Twin Husky were eating cereal. I started helping with lunches and also started an instant coffee for myself.

I set out all the piles of clothes with the kids last night, and also packed the daycare bag for the twins the night before, so that was already taken care of.

I cared for Big Bro, getting him medicine and trying to get him in a better mood. I need to get to work today and cannot stay home with him.

Twin Crazy and Twin Husky were both chanting for “Bagel, I want Bagel”. It took us awhile to figure out what they were saying but once we did they were smiling ear(s) to ear(s)

Big Bro got dressed without a problem. Red, as usual, was tough despite picking out her own clothes the night before. She rejected four shirts, one pair of pants, and one set of socks before she settled on her outfit.

Red and Big Bro were singing and chanting “Kick the morning” for some reason. I have no idea what they were singing about. But they were hysterical laughing. And then Twin Husky started chanting it too. All three of them chanting “kick the morning” and laughing….. I love it. But where was Twin Crazy???!!??!……..

Twin Crazy disappeared and it was quiet. That’s when I know she’s up to no good. I found her playing with Big Bro and Red’s LeapPads in the other room – SNAGGED!!!

Hubby and I split the drop offs. He was taking Red. She broke down. She was grabbing hold of my leg the whole time I was running around. Hubby left with her crying, and also forgot her lunch that I packed this morning, which I had sitting by the front door for him.

My drop off with the twins was fast, my drop off with Big Bro was rushed – but he looked happy and ready for school (whew). He will most likely be tough tonight and not feeling well.

Now I’m on the ferry headed to work. I already checked work email and it will be a busy day. We have some more work to do with a proposal that is due tomorrow. I think some of the changes will be significant. I also have been dragging on getting those damn meeting minutes done – that’s been hanging over my head for awhile. I also have some personal things to attend to so hopefully that will not take too much time or drain my energy – I need it today!

Highlights of My Working Day:

I spent the majority of the day working on the proposal that is due to our potential client tomorrow. There is still more that needs to be done. It’s off at a Director now for review, and I’ve lined up our Assistant to do cosmetic “clean up” of the document first thing tomorrow. That way I can look and work off of a client-ready document tomorrow when I get in.

I followed up with our client on a project we are wrapping up – there is a second Phase which requires work on their end to be completed first – so I just did a quick check-in to see how they are doing.

I followed up with a potential client related to a proposal we provided to them several weeks ago. He was waiting to discuss with his boss (Head of Corporate Strategy, and this is a MAJOR company with a very well known brand – I would love to win this work) and we were going to connect this month. Again, this was just a check-in to see if he had a better idea of when to schedule a conversation based upon his boss’ feedback.

I spent more time that I would like to admit on personal matters. This will be a busy week for me.

So now I’m on the train, headed to an appointment. I will miss the kids tonight and I feel bad about that. Especially since Red was hanging on to me for dear life this morning, and since Big Bro came down with a fierce illness (bad, bad cough – poor guy). I also feel bad about it for selfish reasons. I want to hold them. I want to hug them. When I am with them I feel strong. When I am with them it feels right. I feel like I need one of their hugs, smiles, squeals, or songs to make me better. I feel broken inside – I know I will heal and I’ll be stronger on the other end, but it is tough right now – and its just the beginning.

Here’s to 2012!
Til tomorrow –
– Mama K

Filed Under: Daily Journal Tagged With: 2012, changes, divorce, flex time, laughter, parenting, part-time, working mom, working mother

January 6: All five of us looking out for each other

January 6, 2012 by Mama K 4 Comments

Friday – the weekend is here and I am ready for it, I think. I had a very trying morning and lonely lunch — did not have much of a great day but I did manage to squeeze a good chunk of time in with all of the kiddos, which immediately made me feel better…. stronger.

I made well-visit appointments for Twin Crazy and Twin Husky, and decided to take Big Bro as well so that all four kids would be in synch with their flu vaccinations (Red got one on Wed when I went with her for her pigeon-toe issue). While I had them, I decided to grab Red as well and take her along – that way we could go out to dinner together. The kids were great at the doctors. The bigger ones helped to care for the little ones and the little ones did great even though there were shots involved.

I took them out to dinner afterwards. It looked like a pizza place on the outside, but when I got in, it was a fancy pizza / pasta / wine kindof place with cloth napkins. There were older couples and dates everywhere. Needless to say, we were the only table with four little ones (5, 3, and two 2 yr old twins) and one mama. The kids did great. Again, older ones helping little ones, me overseeing everything and making sure everyone was happy and entertained, and listening to everyone so that no-one felt ignored. It was a REALLY good dinner and the kids ate very well. As I packed everyone up, I had some people come up to me commending me on how I handle the kids and how calm and in control I was – they asked if I needed any help to the car and I said – No! This is my job! We’re off to get ice-cream now! 🙂

Ice-cream was a hit, of course. There’s not much more to say about that.

When we got home I showed Red her new princess sheets that were in the washer; she was so excited. I put them in the dryer and they were ready in no-time. She was thrilled and I helped her get her bed ready. Now both kids are excited about their new sheets (as am I) which does make a difference settling in at night.

I bought a whole slew of books on “feelings” — Little Miss and Mr. Men series by Roger Hargreaves — and they arrived today. We read two of them tonight – “Mr. Happy” and “Little Miss Helpful”. They really are entertaining and funny – I was actually laughing out loud a couple of times. So far I recommend them — they are cute at talking about the feelings that we all have as people – something everyone can relate to –

Glad for today to be over; glad for the weekend; will be spending time with Big Bro and Red on Saturday and then Twin Crazy and Twin Husky on Sunday. And trying to keep my distance.

The thing that makes what I’m going through so difficult right now is that I feel like I have no-one to talk to. Close friends I’ve had out here have moved away once their own kiddos arrived (high cost of living) and the majority of the remaining friends are friendships with hubby. So they are keeping their distance. I feel like I’m out here alone – all family back east, close friends back east, few friends here. Time zones again work against me which makes this so difficult to stay connected except through cyberspace, which just isn’t enough for me right now.

I’m hurting for the life we could have made for our children and I’m hurting for the pain that they will go through now and in the future. That’s all I want to say right now but please if you know me PLEASE reach out; I need you now.

Till next week –
– Mama K

Filed Under: Daily Journal Tagged With: flex time, ice cream, isolation, pain, parenting, part-time, sorrow, working mom, working mother

December 30: Siblings Playing House while at Home

December 30, 2011 by Mama K Leave a Comment

Friday. My last day alone with all four of the kids during this winter break. We adventured yesterday, but today we woke up to rain and fog. No one felt much like going out. The kids wanted to stay at home and play. And I didn’t feel like arguing. Again it was a day watching the siblings interact with one another. Most of the day revolved around their playing with each other. Playing make believe. Caring for each other. There were some (many) tears, and a bloody lip, but all in all it was a great day filled with warmth and laughter.

The kids enjoyed decorating the back sliding glass door. I asked that the pieces be put up high so Twin Husky could not reach them and eat them. They worked together. Big Bro cut out the pieces on the plastic (unnecessary but he enjoyed doing it), Red peeled them off, and Big Bro and Red put them on the door. Twin Crazy also helped a bit.

Big Bro and Red were teaching both Twin Crazy and Twin Husky about their new LeapPads. Both seemed interested, I think.

Twins were jumping up and down like jumping beans, testing out their mattresses in their cribs before naptime. They were cracking me up and I took a video of it, but here’s a photo for now.

After naps it was sooooooooooooo cute but all four of them were playing “house”. They had pillows and blankets on the floor, and Big Bro was Daddy and Red was Mommy – the Twins were the kids. And the twins were loving it!!! The parents kept checking on the kids, telling them it was night night, asking them if they wanted water, and Red was patting each of them on the back. It was too cute. When I asked Twin Crazy about the game later that night and asked who the mommy was, she indicated [Red]. Same thing with Daddy [Big Bro].

I cleaned a lot today. We have not had a mothers helper in two days now. I was busy in the kitchen and also doing laundry all day. Picking things up and organizing around the house during the kids naps.

We took it easy with pizza for dinner. The kids watched some tv afterwards. Big Bro threw several tantrums about ice-cream. We didn’t give in.

I had a busy, physical day – lots of lifting of kids and consoling. It seemed like Twin Husky was crying most of the time when the kids were all playing. Twin Crazy is very aggressive and I think the poor guy (Husky) might be a bit mistreated by them. I think that’s why he’s resorting to biting (which also happened, or almost happened, today).

I’m tired. Physically and emotionally. I’m looking forward to the end of 2011 but I fear that 2012 will be much harder on me and my family. I need to make sure the kids are cared for and know that they are loved. Not just say the words to them, but do what takes to make each of them FEEL it. KNOW it. BELIEVE it. Unquestionably.

Til next week – and 2012!
– Mama K

Filed Under: Daily Journal Tagged With: flex time, home, imagination, parenting, part-time, play, pretend, siblings, working mom, working mother

December 29: A Day for the Siblings

December 29, 2011 by Mama K Leave a Comment

Today was a day at home with the children. No work. I had all four of them since Big Bro’s public school is still closed, and since Red became VERY upset at the thought of everyone home except for her. So I gladly kept her home from pre-school today as well. You would think – 4 kids – all day – man that woman must be wiped out. Truth is, I’m not. I’m surprisingly very, very relaxed. No tension in my neck. No sadness. No aching. No worrying. I’m just, well, “being”. And it feels wonderful.

We spent the day eating, playing, building legos, playing doll-house, setting up LeapPads, having the kids teach me about their LeapPads, napping, going to the library, cooking….. some fighting, some biting/hitting/yelling. But it was mostly laughing. It was mostly excitement. The kids really enjoyed being together. And playing together. Big kids interacting with the little kids – in a good way and also not-so-good way. But they were together. And they were being kids, being siblings with each other. I loved it.

Some of the highlights that really grabbed me today:

Waking up to Red smiling next to my bed. She was in a great mood. Then suddenly, and out of nowhere, she turned crabby. I think it’s because she realized that she was not staying home ALONE with me – that the rest of the kids were going to be there too. So I sat with her. I rocked with her in silence. She needed to calm herself down and I needed to hold her.

Big Bro holding Twin Crazy – he asked her and she said “yes”. They were both really having fun – Twin Crazy with a HUGE grin on her face that she was being taken care of by her big brother. He did the same with Twin Husky but it did not grab me in the same way…

It took an amazingly LONG time to get out the door today. I really don’t know why. Red was really a problem this morning. She was taking her time and changing her mind about pants. Pants. I must have touched and retouched 50 pairs of pants. I eventually told her that I was losing my patience and we were close to not going anywhere so she better decide and SOON. I think she needs more of my time but I don’t like giving it to her in this way — its too draining; no fun at all.

Walking into the library with my four munchkins in a line; the librarians all know our family. They are patient with us and our noise. Each of the Twins introduced the librarian with their comfort toys (a tiger for Twin Husky, a lovely blanket for Twin Crazy). Twin Crazy and Twin Husky wanted to spend most of their time drinking from the water fountain. They started fighting and I knew it was time to gather the kids quickly when I heard Twin Crazy screaming at the fountain and Twin Husky bending over to bite her. As we were checking out our books, I asked the librarian if she could make our check-out into several “transactions”. She “got it” immediately and was so good with the kids. The kids wanted to check out their own books with the one library card so she rung them each up separately (except for Twin Husky, who was wandering around with his thumb in his mouth, not interested in checking out books).

Grabbing ice cream with the kids at 11 AM. We were the only ones there. Big Bro wanted to go there in daylight so we could eat in the outside courtyard. I usually get little cups for the Twins but they amazed me – they sat there and held their little cones and ate their cones without any major spills or losses of food. They sat on a bench that circled a HUGE tree and were so cute. Afterwards, the sugar started to kick in and they started to play follow-the-leader on top of the bench that encircled the tree. I sat there quietly and watched them. I was taking it all in. I took some movies. I captured how Big Bro was interacting with the little ones and how the little ones were having so much fun doing the same thing the older kids were doing. They are a pack of four now. It is now that REALLY feel like I have four, distinct, separate, individual, and lively children. I am very lucky that they are all happy, healthy, and honestly look out for each other.

While Red was napping, her LeapPad arrived. I thing Big Bro was more excited about it than she was today. Anyway, Big Bro wanted to surprise her so he set it out by her bed so she could see it and be surprised when she woke up from her nap. I love how he can be so sweet. I love how he thinks of his siblings. I love how he just “gets” them. Knows what makes them happy. Knows what they need. He is really amazing.

I wanted Big Bro to rest/nap – but he wanted to put his Lego space shuttle together first. Together we worked to get it finished, quickly. I looked at each instruction page and gathered the pieces needed, and handed them to Big Bro to stick them on. I know he enjoyed me helping him with his Lego set, just the two of us. But I think I enjoyed it more than him.

I made a roast today. I am having fun “nesting” with my babes. I sat on the floor and showed Twin Crazy and Twin Husky the peeler and taught them about the skin on the carrots and potato. I showed them how I peel the skin off and they felt the strips and laughed at the ones that went flying over the trash bucket I was using. Both were running to grab the strips and threw them in the trash bucket for me. I had them smell the peeled carrots and the peeled potato and explained that we could really smell the food now that the skins were off. I love spending time like this with them. I know that our daycare provider does not interact with them in this way. I love teaching them new things. And talking about the world around them. After dinner, Red was sitting on my lap and then leaning over, laughing and saying “ouch – mommy – my head is going into the hot lava”, pretending that the floor was a river of lava. She cracks me up.

We closed out the night watching a Sponge Bob show about Christmas and Santa. I had Twin Crazy on my lap. I then had Red laying next to me with a blanket. Then Red was on my knee, with a blanket, covering Twin Crazy and putting her arm around her, still on my lap. Then Twin Husky came over and sat on my other knee. So I had three kids in my lap, with my arms around them and talking with them about the show. Too cute.

I had four kids today, got impatient with them yes, but had a different kind of fun with them. They were all together. I mostly sat back and watched the interaction. I was essentially a person shuffling them between different activities but really stood on the sidelines and just watched them. Watched them talk. Watched them laugh. Watched them care for each other. Watched them share.

Where I could, I stole one-on-one time. But it was mostly a day for the siblings. And tomorrow will be another such day. I’m looking forward to it.

It’s amazing how my life has changed — thinking back to my 20s, my 30s — one decade totally selfish while the next totally self-less. And now. How I revel in moments with my children whereas before it was a good dinner out, or dancing with friends, or doing shots in Hoboken, or… … … … I know that these days when my kids are very young will fly by. I’ve heard it soooo many times before. That’s why I’m choosing to be with them now and soak them in now while I have this time. While I can make them laugh. While three can sit in my lap. I’m soaking it in and smiling – knowing that I’m lucky.

Til tomorrow –
– Mama K

Filed Under: Daily Journal Tagged With: communication, flex time, happiness, living, love, parenting, part-time, siblings, teaching, working mom, working mother

December 28: Working with Big Bro

December 28, 2011 by Mama K Leave a Comment

Wednesday – a work from home day. Big Bro’s school is closed so I decided to keep him home with me instead of pay for “camp” – especially since I am home, and only working 4 hours today. He was looking forward to the day. Red – well, not so much. I think she was jealous.

Highlights of the Morning and “Commute”:

I got up extra early, showered, started a big pot of coffee. I did not get much sleep last night. So I needed the extra caffeine and would be home to drink it. I got Twin Crazy and Twin Husky up – they are always already up, but just hanging out in their cribs at 7 AM. So I went to their room, they jumped up and were excited about starting their day. I did quick changes for them while they were in the room so they were contained and that task would be done with.

Red was up, Big Bro was still slumbering. I let him sleep. There was no need to get him up; as long as he was up by 8 AM for us to drop folks off.

Twin Crazy, Twin Husky, and Red were busy eating cereal and oatmeal. Twins are talking and repeating words non-stop. I love it. Absolutely love it.

The morning went smoothly. Except for when Red heard that Big Bro was staying home and she was not. That threw her into a fit, I rocked her, and then asked her if she wanted to help me with my coffee. That worked. She put sugar and cream in my cup – and all kids looked at it. Then I poured the coffee and talked about how the coffee was first dark, but when you put cream in it, it turns light. Of course the Twins were repeating all of this in their own way.

We headed out; I dropped off Hubby at the ferry and we talked about the boat. I dropped off Twin Crazy and Twin Husky, and then we dropped off Red. She was pretending to be mad at me, but just couldn’t play the part consistently. She kept laughing at me – couldn’t hold it back.

Highlights of the Working Day:
Remember… I’m working from home, for 4 hours, and I have my son with me. And its a slow week. During the holidays…

While back at home, Big Bro and I ate pancakes and the cutest thing was said: “Mommy, can you eat these pancakes with me because I have a TON of whipped cream on this plate.” How cute. He is a guy that feels loved by doing things together – and this comes out so strongly now that I am aware of it.

I filled out administrative forms and benefits while Big Bro played with his new LeapPad and watched some Dora. He got anxious and played a bit outside.

In the middle of work I decided to use the leftover ham from Christmas and made split pea soup. In typical fashion for me, I overdid it. I just wanted to use all of the dried split peas we had. So I wound up making I think 2 gallons of split pea soup. It’s actually a bit ridiculous. I don’t think I have enough containers to hold it all to freeze. I may have to give some away to neighbors. Too funny. Some people give cookies, I may give soup. Note: My holiday cards are STILL not sent out.

I finished up the forms and needed to fax them in. So me and Big Bro head out to Office Max to fax and FedEx. It took a lot longer than expected. Poor Big Bro. While going to the store he said he was too tired to put his shoes on (jokingly). He was doing and saying a lot today to make me laugh. He is becoming a simple and funny guy – with a smart sense of humor – one that makes me laugh at a drop of a hat (OK, I’m biased. Maybe he’s not that funny after all).

The Rest of the Day:

We went to lunch together. We talked. I blogged a bit while he LeapPaded. He made a comment that we were both doing computers together. Again, his mention of togetherness. It means so much to him.

We got some food from Trader Joe’s. Again, he was my buddy. We talked during the shopping trip about the stuff we needed or would like to get. He was great company and sooooo well behaved.

We made it home and I packaged up the soup – ridiculous, I know.

I cleaned up and got ready for the arrival of the rest of the kids. In doing so, I sat with Big Bro and together we completed his Lego space shuttle together. I had fun doing that with him. I’m amazed at how quickly he has mastered this thing. He follows all of the pages and puts this thing together effortlessly. I think his request for “help” again was a ploy for together, Mommy time. I happily caved.

Pick up for Red was fine; on the way to pick up the twins, Red asked if she could stay home tomorrow with me, all by herself. I reminded her that NEXT Wednesday would be her day. I reminded her that I have Twin Crazy, Twin Husky, and Big Bro tomorrow at home, and asked her if she would want to stay home too. She immediately said “YES!!!” and then they both started talking about how everyone wants to stay home with mommy tomorrow. It melted my heart. I asked if they liked it better with extra time with me and less time for me at work and they agreed – they like it better. I know, this was a “leading” question, but hey, I needed an emotional boost. 🙂

Getting everyone home was fine. We saw an amazing sunset and I pulled over with them to talk about it and the colors. The kids still saw lots of lights on the houses so we drove around talking about lights. By the way, I don’t know if I mentioned Twin Crazy’s new skill – buckles. She MUST buckle her top buckle on her car seat. I love her intensity and the fact that we can communicate with each other.

While at home, I cooked Tandoori Chicken with yogurt sauce (Amazing!!! Thanks again Mama S!) while the kids went a little bit nuts I must confess. They were VERY loud and VERY physical and teasing each other and being bratty kids. Poor Twin Husky was being battered on. He spent most of this time crying, or being held by me while resting his head on my shoulder and sucking his thumb.

Dinner was amazing; half the kids ate well. Red was tired and pouty. The rest were running around the house at least not thrashing each other. I’m OK with running around the big circle of our house as long as they are keeping their hands to themselves and not screaming. Tonight after dinner they were cracking up and I loved to see Big Bro interact with Twin Crazy and Twin Husky (a four year difference). Big Bro asked me to see how fast he could run and of course I applauded him and then Twin Crazy the rest of the night asked me to see how fast she could run. How cute. Each time they ran around they stopped where I was and laughed, rested, or I tickled them. It was fun and they had me laughing.

Then suddenly one of the kids mentioned chocolate ice-cream and then ALL of them started whining for chocolate ice-cream. I couldn’t take it. It was early but I sent everyone upstairs to bed. The older ones were really putting up a fuss about the ice-cream thing which just ticked me off. Big Bro and Red were both hysterical about it; Red was being carried up by Hubby and she was kicking and screaming. I rarely see anything like this from her. We talked about how they felt, and how sad/mad/unhappy/disappointed they must feel. And I said how I used to feel the same way when I was a kid and my parents didn’t give me dessert when I thought I was going to get some… how I would be thinking about it and expecting it and then my mom or dad wouldn’t let me have it, how it made me mad/sad/disappointed. And how it is OK to have those feelings. THEY SETTLED DOWN SO QUICKLY I COULD NOT BELIEVE IT. I then commended them on how they pulled themselves together and how they moved on. How they calmed their bodies down and started to accept it – they still feel mad, but at least they are calm about it. I love connecting with them this way – I find though that you really need to be patient with them; it is easier for me to do this when I have days like today – versus days when I am stressed and/or tired from long or complex day at work. Or, even after a long day with all of the kids. I really only had Big Bro today and he was a breeze, solo.

Big Bro and Red and I wrote down a list of things we are DEFINITELY going to do tomorrow (e.g., eat breakfast, vitamins, etc.) and some fun things we COULD do (beach, museum, library, etc.). I’m looking forward with my time with all of them tomorrow but hope I get more sleep tonight!!!

I had a bizarre work day, and do not feel so good about my productivity, but I toss it up to the week between the holidays…. right??!?! Am I the only one out there?

I’m feeling happy and much more comfortable in my own skin today – thanks for those who reached out to me yesterday and today to send me cyber-strength. It means so much, seriously.

Til tomorrow –
– Mama K

Filed Under: Daily Journal Tagged With: connecting, emotions, flex time, parenting, part-time, Trader Joe's, working mom, working mother

December 12: Keeping up with the Joneses

December 12, 2011 by Mama K 5 Comments

Another Monday. This one cold and gray. I’m coming off a great weekend with the kids. We went to the library (quite a treat, even for the 2 yr olds), toured closeby neighborhoods looking at lights, and went on another steam train ride.

We started doing the “responsibility boards” with the kids again where you put little magnet “jobs” on the board and the kids and you evaluate their performance on those jobs – if they did well, they get a happy face magnet for that job on that day. Some of the jobs include making the bed, getting dressed, brushing teeth, etc. and we find that these boards really do make a difference in their behavior, at least in the short term while there is still novelty to it.

So this morning the kids were way ahead of me:

Highlights of the Morning and My Commute:

Big Bro and I were getting dressed and he came into our room and said he wanted to do a getting dressed race. We’re on! He won, of course.
He then came in and proudly said, “Mommy, I already woke up, went pee, brushed my teeth, got dressed, and even made my bed all by myself.” I made a big deal of this and then walked into the room to check his work. He was so proud. I looked over and then also saw that Red did the same with her bed – and also arranged her dolls and put her favorite sleep animal on her pillow. I made a big deal about this too and later when she decided she wanted the animal I walked up with her and noticed her proud smile creeping across her face with each step upwards. By the time we reached her room and her bed, her face was alight with pride and she had to cover her face in her bed with her smiles and her laughter. I both love and hate how these kids are getting so big so fast – on one hand I love to see the people they are becoming but on another hand they are growing out of the age of innocence.

Twin Husky was busy downstairs rolling things. Luggage bags, shopping carts, play strollers. He was just busy busy busy strolling and rolling all over the place and around the downstairs.

Twin Crazy was walking around looking mad. Her eyebrows were furrowed since Hubby reprimanded her for something. She holds a grudge. Her face looked so cute all mad. I talked with her about how she looked mad and how that feels. I’m talking a lot with these younger kids about their feelings and what they are feeling and how even I have those feelings. After spending so much time with the little ones, I think I need to be spending the same amount of time with the 3 and 5 year old too. Sometimes I just assume that they “get it” since they are older but it’s probably good to spend the time on this subject with them too.
I took Red to school today and sat with her while she traced a candy cane. I asked her to save it for me so I can see it tonight. She asked me to write her name on it and I said each letter as I wrote it. She also wanted my name on it so again, M, O, M, M, Y. She seemed satisfied with this so she continued her art and smiled at me as I walked away.

I’m feeling a bit down today. Folks on the ferry are talking about how this area is over-priced and how their going to buy for an investment but only stay 4 or so years until they have kids and find another place to live. This has been such an issue in our family and it is hard for me to accept. What started this funk that I’m in today?? I think I know what it is…

Over the weekend we received a holiday card where the whole card was an array of pictures during a private-blimp tour of the city. Yes, a blimp. Three generations of the family each with beaming smiles while they were on their own private blimp-ride. Yes, there are pictures of the grandchildren wearing headphones and pictures of the windows overlooking the city and everyone with big smiles. Yes, it was just them, in the blimp. A blimp. Did I say a blimp????!?!?!?

The city where I live is essentially comprised of people that “have”, and “have not”. There really isn’t an in-between. And folks/families like ours have to work our asses off just to get by – and not even live lavishly. Mind you, I don’t need or want fancy clothes or a fancy car or decadent vacations. But I would like to be able to afford a house of my own to shelter my kids with a yard where they can play, and not have to feel like I have to work like mad to get there. At 41 and with an MBA, shouldn’t I be able to do this??? So I looked at that holiday card and became less hopeful of the area in which we live and my feeling of just “not belonging.” Mmmmm. That’s a bit deep for now. So not to dwell on things I cannot change, I should focus my energy on what I can change. I can play a pivotal role in how my children develop as people. So I guess it that is where I should focus my energy going forward, right??!!? Right.

Today at work I have some clean up items to begin with my client deliverable but honestly the rest of the day is a bit scattered. I will take this time to clean up some loose ends from our last forums and set myself up to start the planning for the next forums happening in April.

Highlights of My Working Day:

We had an hour team sales meeting; during this time I updated the team on the sales efforts I am leading. I spent time talking about how I am trying to generate incremental revenues from the forums I am managing — the two forums are very different in nature and I am using different strategies to generate sales for each (selling new services to existing members, versus gaining new clients to grow membership). I speak with authority during these discussions since I own the forums and associated sales efforts. What needs to happen in the next 4 – 6 months though is to actually CONVERT these efforts to revenue. I need to make this happen so that this reduced work arrangement can be safe.
We also had a team lunch meeting where we did a White Elephant holiday exchange. I wrapped up two big stuffed animal dolls that neither Red or Twin Crazy have EVER played with and it was selected by my firm’s CEO. Too funny. I walked away with a pair of comfy wool socks. Especially made for a left foot vs. right foot! I never owned a pair so am looking forward to busting into them tonight (its the simple pleasures in life, right?).
I had a conference call with an ex-colleague of mine from 10+ years ago. I’ve managed to stay in touch pretty well with the people I have personally worked with through the years. This has been paying off for me lately. I am able to leverage them to get closer to business opportunities and now this friend/ex-colleague has come to us with a very interesting idea for another forum we can possibly create. It is an interesting idea, and potentially one that could change the industry over time if it works and works well. My Director is pretty excited by it, and we have the right contacts at other organizations to help push this idea further. This could be something big… and something that came about for our Firm because of my network. I want to see this happen and if it does, it can be big for me and my credibility within the company and maybe even the industry. DREAM BIG!!!

I spent the rest of the day doing admin-related items; tomorrow my day looks very free so I will be able to put my head down and actually do some work.

The Rest of My Day:

I’m on my way now to an appointment. So I’ll be late seeing the older kids tonight. Again, I’m not in a great mood. At any rate, I’ll close out this day with a Guinness for my dinner and hopefully will be able to talk to Big Bro and Red tonight before they go to bed. And then I’ll put on my new socks and join their slumber in my own room.

Till tomorrow –
– Mama K

Filed Under: Daily Journal Tagged With: meetings, networking, parenting, part-time, positive reinforcement, responsibility charts, White Elephant, working mom, working mother

December 9: Tantrums, sickness, lack of sleep X FOUR

December 9, 2011 by Mama K Leave a Comment

Happy Friday! Today is a “stay-at-home” day with me and the Twins. It has been a bit of a rough day so far…

Highlights of the Morning and Early Afternoon:

I woke up a big hungover to three kids in my bed – Red, and the Twins. What was absolutely adorable was Red was reading to each of them.

Big Bro put on a t-shirt and shorts. Mind you, it’s 37 degrees outside. I pleaded with him to think about the cold outside and think about pants. The problem is that it does actually warm up during the day, and he is very hot-blooded. So my pleading went ignored – but I left it up to him to make his own decision.

Everyone was a bit cranky this morning. The Twins both are sick. Sneezing and big red rashes all over the place. Roseola? Not sure. But they are cranky and clingy. Big Bro is whining about everything. Red starts her whining when it came to her socks. By the time we were on her jacket, she was in full-fledged tantrum. I think the Twins’ bad moods for being sick kindof rubbed off on the older two who maybe didn’t get enough sleep last night. Anyway, all four of them were not very enjoyable this morning. Or, maybe was it the wine I drank last night??!?!?!?

Big Bro scootered to school while I strollered the Twins. We were extremely late. By the time we got there he was the last one in but at least we caught up with the group. He then runs outside to me in tears because he forgot his library book. I said I would go back and get it. I looked into his eyes and he looked terrible. I’m putting these kids to bed early tonight.

On the stroller ride home with the Twins, I took it slow. We talked about things that we saw. I miss this with them. When Big Bro and later Red were small and we were living in the city, I would stroller them to daycare which was in my office building. So at that time, I had the opportunity to talk about so many things with them – it was city living so there was just a lot to look at and teach. Water fountains, big buildings, lights (and counting the lights), going into building lobbies and talking about the holiday decorations, pointing out the flags, etc. Now with the Twins, we commute primarily by mini-van. On days that I stroll with them, particularly on Thursday and Fridays when we are coming back home, I really want to take it slow with them. I feel like I have a lot of catching up to do with these two. We talked about the crows and how they fly away and how big their wings are. We saw two dogs playing so we pulled over to watch them play and we talked about how funny it is to see dogs and how they play and wrestle and run around in circles. We talked about the holiday decorations that we saw. Twin Husky initiated conversation about the playground and the slides. Twin Husky is still pointing out all of the basketball nets. We talked about the busier road and how cars drive fast on that road. We talked about flowers and spent some time looking at them. I talked with them the whole way home and felt better that I am doing more now to teach them about the world around them.

I started looking for Big Bro’s library book and found it. I threw 2 diapers and a small package of wipes in my handbag. Also two little cars to keep the kids entertained. I’m taking them out to breakfast! I went to drop off the book, and Big Bro’s class was not there – so I left a present for him….

Then we headed out for breakfast. I parked and decided NOT to stroller them, but to walk the two blocks. The kids had a great time and Twin Crazy almost looked proud to be walking with me, holding my hand, and crossing the street like a big girl. While at breakfast, our table was close to all of these holiday decorations and the board underneath a HUGE penguin kept getting pushed in by Twin Husky, therefore leading the penguin to almost coming crashing down on us twice. He is such a boy. He needs to touch everything. The penguin incident happened TWO times so he didn’t even learn from the first time. We had a good breakfast nonetheless, and the twins had lots of fun things to look at in this greasy spoon of a diner.

Once we got back I had to care for sick twins. Both were extremely cranky. I had snot to deal with, red skin to deal with, sore noses to deal with, and medicine to give. It took about 15 minutes for the caregiving to kick in and after that they were much more pleasant.

We headed upstairs and I read them books. I love how they get so excited over the books. They each run for a book for me to read. Sometimes I read to them, and sometimes they read picture books to me. They love it. They love turning the pages. They love making the sounds that animals make. They love talking with me about what they see on the page. Once I say that the books are done and its time for their nap, they don’t even fight it. They welcome it. I kiss them and they grab hold of their stuffed animals and blankets and begin to doze.

They’re down for a nap now and I am getting some things done around the house. I enjoy this quiet time where I can focus on things that I normally would not be able to. The sun is out and I’m feeling good. The twins are quiet so it seems like they are busy sleeping.

The Rest of the Day:

The twins both woke up in foul moods. Twin Crazy was having a hard time sleeping the entire time because of her stuffed up nose. They’re both sick and struggling. I packed them up, picked up Big Bro, and headed out to a friends house who had a HUGE hand-me-down dollhouse and lots of hand-me-down clothes for all of the kids.

The dollhouse was bigger than expected. I thought I’d be able to slip it in the back and cover it up quickly before Big Bro would see it, that way it could be from Santa. No such luck. This thing was HUGE. Four feet tall, at least. I think 4 floors. It wouldn’t fit in the trunk of the mini-van. I tried over and over to shove it in. Of course Big Bro saw it. So I tried to get one of the seats to fold under to give more room. It was stuck. Me and Big Bro were trying to figure it out. He noticed that his car seat was in the way. I eventually got it. Both of us were excited and proud. What a team!!! The thing took up a big part of the van on the way home. Too funny.

Hubby picked up Red while I cooked dinner; Flat Meat with chicken and I did a marinade with mango jelly and basil. Big Bro was throwing tantrums left and right. He was really, really difficult to deal with tonight. The dinner was very good. The kids ate well but it took them awhile to get started — again, their crankiness was a bit too much to bear. I started to drink a Guinness..

After dinner we brought out the dollhouse and Big Bro, Red, and Twin Crazy had fun cleaning it. The three of them seem really excited about it. I would have loved it if I had it when I was a kid. Maybe Santa can get Red some proper dolls to play with it, and maybe some more furniture.

There were huge tantrums tonight with the older kids about graham crackers, going to the potty, etc. I just think that both of them were way too tired.

So, today was great in that we have all of this new “loot” in the house – clothes, dollhouse, etc. But honestly ALL of the kids were so hard today. All the result of too little sleep and being sick. I really need for Big Bro to nap this weekend. And I hope the kids sleep in a bit tomorrow. Because I know I’ll be moving slowly…

Have a great weekend everyone –
Til next week –
– Mama K

Filed Under: Daily Journal Tagged With: breakfast, cranky, parenting, part-time, scooter, sick, sleep, stroller, teaching, working mom, working mother

January 9: Busy and Broken

January 6: All five of us looking out for each other

December 30: Siblings Playing House while at Home

December 29: A Day for the Siblings

December 28: Working with Big Bro

December 12: Keeping up with the Joneses

December 9: Tantrums, sickness, lack of sleep X FOUR

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