February 8: Motion

February 8, 2012 by 4 Comments

Wednesday – my 1/2 work and on flex time. I’m writing this at the end of the day so this is likely to be brief:

Highlights of the Morning:

  • I woke up feeling great. I got showered and dressed in a comfortable pair of jeans, and was upstairs with all the kids as they got up. Diaper changes with the Twins is best while in their room since it’s warmer up there. They are so sweet. Twin Husky had his hair all over the place and he is so cuddly and warm. So sweet.
  • I grabbed oatmeal for the girls and got Big Bro’s breakfast ready; also packed up the bags and got clothes ready for everyone.
  • Twin Crazy helped me unload the dishwasher. She is very helpful these days.
  • Big Bro’s foot went through his gaping hole in the other knee of his jeans. I give up. He thought it was hysterical (so did I).
  • Big Bro wanted to ride his bike to school. THIS WAS A FIRST FOR US!!! We met up with the Motley Crew and I was a bit nervous since I knew Big Bro was probably a bit anxious. He did great. Did not fall once, and even went ahead with the kids towards the end of the ride. At the end, his face was beaming and one of his crew wanted to lock his bike with Big Bro’s. So cute. I’m so proud of him.
  • I strolled the Twins to daycare and we talked about the fog, how it looked like the clouds were hanging low, and how we could feel wetness on our faces. Twin Crazy pointed and talked about the dogs along the way.
  • I walked back home, feeling really good. I felt the blood pumping through my body as I walked and it felt good to be going at a fast pace. It felt good to be moving. To be headed somewhere. I was thinking about the work I needed to do. I had things to get done, but nothing too overwhelming. I felt happy to be headed home to work. To have a short but productive day.
  • I got home, grabbed some breakfast, loaded the dishwasher, threw some clothes in the dryer, straightened up a bit, and got my computer/phones set up for the working day.

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Highlights of My Working Day:
I actually got a lot done today

  • I went back and forth via email related to some work I might be doing for a separate project – they need some market interviews done and I want to make sure I understand the client and the product before I set up interviews – I don’t want to waste my limited time talking to the wrong part of the market.
  • I documented the planning meeting minutes for both of our forums in April. This actually helped me organize my thoughts on what I had to do soon to get these meetings planned.
  • I also started to think through the polling that we may want to do with the participants so we can plan an Agenda that is the most valuable for them. I drafted the topic content into survey format and am hoping I can offload the coding to someone else to get this done and out.
  • I reached out to some potential speakers for one of the forums. We received a positive response back so I am pumped!!!!!
  • I then packed everything away – cords, computers, phones, papers. I’m getting the kids!

The Rest of the Day:

  • I picked up Big Bro first and he had a great time riding his bike to the van.
  • We then waited for Red to wake up from her nap. While waiting, we thumb-wrestled.
  • Big Bro, Red, and I then went shopping for Twin Crazy and Twin Husky’s birthday. Red actually mentioned it to her teachers but she didn’t mention that I was going to “steal” her earlier today. So she was excited about going shopping with us today.
  • They were great at Wal-mart. The only things on the list were presents for Twin Crazy and Twin Husky, and also party decorations. Nothing else. They had great self-control. We picked their presents and decided on Sponge Bob for the theme of their party. Big Bro helped to put all of our items on the cashier belt. He was very proud of his efforts.
  • We then went to get Twin Crazy and Twin Husky. It was really early – 3:30 PM. Once at home, I gave them a snack and then decided to take them for a walk.
  • The walk was great. Big Bro was on his bike, Red was on her scooter, Twin Crazy was on a tricycle (that I pushed), and Twin Husky decided to walk his Tigers in a toy stroller (along with a helmet). Again it felt good to be moving. To be strolling with the kids. The weather was great and the sun was out. I was feeling like life was pretty good then and now. The children in great spirits, enjoying the outside, moving their bodies, and each moving in their own way. We are a collective little unit but again we are individuals. Everyone moving their own way – but also helping each other along the way. Twin Husky kept asking about Big Bro, who kept riding ahead of us or circling around to ride behind and away from us. They were so cute. Big Bro was even getting brave and testing his bike and his riding and balancing abilities… riding/coasting with his feet off the pedals…. so brave. We had a great time and even met some strangers along the way who might turn out to be great friends!
  • I made dinner – fish, string beans, rice. Kids were eating well. They had some nervous energy so I put them to work cleaning up their toys.
  • I read a book to Red about friendship and then we went to look at her class picture and we talked about the names of all of her friends at school.
  • After dinner I folded laundry while the kids watched a movie. It was a cute night. They all went to bed easily. Big Bro read a book to us. This is the first night that Red is not crying herself to sleep.

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I had a great day. I feel like I accomplished things at work during the 1/2 day, got a lot of things done around the house, and had a great time with all of the kids. They are amazing. I am very lucky.

I am not thrilled about divorce and am scared of the outcome. I’m scared about strangers potentially deciding on the future of our children. This is going to have such an impact on their lives and affect them in ways I can’t even wrap my head around. This just isn’t right. I don’t think I’m an ordinary mother. I feel so in tune with each of these kids. And I enjoy being a mom. How is it possible that I can be taken away from a part of their lives? How could this be seen as in their best interest??!??!?!??!? Can’t we find a way to both be integral in their lives without the other being torn away???!?!?!?!??!

Til tomorrow –
– Mama K

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February 6: Shoes

February 6, 2012 by Leave a Comment

This morning was a morning of frustrations. Mondays are terrible with me to begin with but there was an extra layer of anxiety that could have been prevented.

  • Good morning to Big Bro and Red! I missed them last night. They didn’t come home with Daddy until well past their bedtime so this morning we reunited. Red eagerly showed me two animal purses that she was given the night before and asked Twin Crazy which one she wanted. Twin Crazy wanted the doggie purse. I gave Red a fist-pump for sharing with Twin Crazy and also for giving her the opportunity to pick which one she wanted.
  • Big Bro was excited about the R2-D2 and C-3PO Legos in his pockets and we talked about how funny it was how Red and him switched 1/2 their bodies the other morning and switched heads and bodies.
  • Big Bro was very cooperative; Twin Crazy was cooperative but wanted to be held and dance. Twin Husky was having problems, since he wants to put all of his things in these big bags but one of the bags is actually quite heavy so he can’t carry everything around. This frustrates him so much and I had to deal with his crying and trying to help him with his bags and trying to explain that the one bag is way too heavy for him.
  • A Lego light-sabre fell into the toilet and had to be rescued.
  • I found out that Red lost her shoes at the party last night while with Daddy. I knew this was going to be a HUGE problem. This is the girl that would freak out about the wrong type of socks. Her Dora sneakers never felt comfortable for her so she rejected them. She had one pair that fit and was comfortable. And now they are missing. I spent time with her shuffling through shoes to see if we had hand-me-downs that would be big enough but most of that gear is for the little ones. We had some boots and also some boy shoes that would fit but I could understand the reason why she wouldn’t want to wear them. We were running out of time. We had to leave to get Big Bro to school on time. We had to split up the drop off and I took Big Bro and Twins, leaving Daddy behind to deal with the shoes. I gave Red a huge hug.
  • Drop offs for Twins was funny. Apparently Twin Husky wanted to wear sparkly silver shoes as we were going through the shoe frenzy this morning. He put one of the sparkly shoes on his foot ontop of his pajamas and I laughed when I pulled him out of the car. He also had a sparkly princess cup with him. And he is in love with a cute pair of red flowery shoes that he’s been wearing the past few weeks. So me and our daycare provider started to laugh and raise our eyes about Twin Husky’s choice of accessories. “It’s OK” we say, I love his happy face and if he wants to dress like a princess then let him.

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  • Drop off with Big Bro was fine. I held his hand and we had his 100 project (a Lego house). I noticed that he let go of my hand as we approached his school yard where the classes were waiting in line. My heart sunk but also inside I was proud of his need for independence. This is just the beginning.

    • I rushed to the ferry in fear that there would be no more parking spots, but I scored one without a problem. So, the day is gray, and I will be busy at work. I have to document the planning meeting calls and distribute to the groups, and also start to plan the agendas. I have to complete the go-to-market materials for the other initiative and get that going as well. Finally, I have to start to think about the kick-off for the client project we are beginning next Monday. I will be very busy today.

    HIghlights of my Working Day:

  • I grabbed some to-go breakfast on my way to work. I’m glad I did, since I was busy non-stop.
  • I had to attend to various emails on various topics as soon as I got in. This took some time.
  • Since we won the client project, I needed to get some administrative items done. I needed to complete the paperwork to get a project number set up, get the team together, put files onto our shared server, distribute some key documents to the team (such as budget, proposal), set up a debrief meeting with the team for tomorrow AM, and begin to work on the discussion document that we will be using to Kickoff the project next week.
  • I lead an internal office “touchpoint” meeting to get a sense of workload and also an update on our office move. I’m looking forward to a new location to a busier part of the city. Change is good.
  • I also had an impromptu meeting related to one of the initiatives we are launching. I started working on go-to-market materials to start soliciting interest. I want to start sending out these invitations TOMORROW since the event is only 2 months away…. This will be critical for me to focus on tomorrow.
  • I did not have time to work on the planning minutes or the planning for the other two forums – I carved out time to start on that tomorrow.

    • Now I’m on the ferry and looking forward to picking up the kids. I have not thought of dinner but I think we may have some chicken that is not frozen. There are some cherry tomatoes too – I recently sent out a recipe with these ingredients so maybe I’ll try that.

    I’m interested in hearing about Big Bro’s 100 project, and also seeing what kind of shoes Red is wearing. And of course, I want to see if Twin Husky is wearing his one sparkly shoe. Too cute.

    Dinner and Bedtime:

  • All pick ups were great; Red was upset about her shoes so we decided to go out and buy a new pair for her. The kids decided to go out to eat versus go home first so I took them to Applebee’s…. crayons on tables, bottles of chocolate milk everywhere, Red needing to go to pee so we all paraded across the restaurant into the ladies room, etc. etc. Kids ate like champs.
  • We then paraded to Kohl’s, right next door, but the walk felt like an eternity, with four little ones hyper on chocolate milk.
  • At Kohl’s the ONLY thing on the list was a new pair of shoes for Red. So all kids couldn’t ask or throw a tantrum for ANYTHING else. This rule works well. However, the kids did get sidetracked at a rack of Angry Bird t-shirts. Red tried on some shoes, Twin Husky tried on some shoes when I wasn’t looking. We found a pair for only $16 on super-sale. Twin Husky tried to walk away with the shoes he found but we were too quick for him.
  • Once we got home Twin Crazy tried on Red’s shoes, and also Twin Husky. I’m not sure about that boy recently, but he’s only 2 so he has some time to figure things out. 🙂
  • Big Bro read an entire book tonight. He was wiped out by the end. I can’t believe he’s a reader.

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    I’m typing as I’m listening to my daughter cry through the monitor. I am downstairs. I try to console her and as she’s asleep and as I’m walking out, she starts screaming again in anguish. Daddy is up there now with her. It’s not good. She is suffering. I’m not sure what to do.

    Til tomorrow –
    – Mama K

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    January 2: My buddies and back to “normal”?

    January 2, 2012 by Leave a Comment

    Today was the last day off and wraps up several weeks of holiday breaks, school closures, and the resulting extra time off with the kids. It was a quiet day today but still one with errands and activities with my older kids, Big Bro and Red. Hubby and I went our own ways today and he had the Twins.

    I gladly embraced the day with Big Bro and Red. They were my little side-kicks. They were so good today – it felt a bit strange not having the full set of kids together – and we did miss Twin Crazy and Twin Husky. In fact, there were several points in the day when something would remind one of us of them and we would all talk about it. Separation of the kids — there’s something that I REALLY do not like about it, especially since they’ve really started to play all together. But, the change in dynamics is really quite incredible. I felt so close to Big Bro and Red today. I felt calm. I felt like I was having actual conversations…

    Big Bro was able to ask me questions about how things work (picture frame hooks, factories, online shopping and delivery, delivery tracking, paper clips, light switch dials on cords, jet fighters …. …. …. …. ) and I had the time to focus on his question and follow through with the answers, or at least hypotheses. He has such an inquisitive mind. He really needs to understand how things work. And I enjoy teaching him. I enjoy talking things through with him. I enjoy seeing his expression as he soaks in the information – how his eyebrows furrow and even today he paused a bit, and then told me, “So now I understand what jet fighters do and why they call them that.” He is such a serious child but in a second later his face lights up like a five year old child and reassures me that he is balanced. We bought Star Wars sheets for him through Amazon and he was so excited about it that he jumped up and down on my lap, turned to me, and said “I love you mommy.” oh my heart stopped for a second. A set of sheets. Bedsheets. And I am his hero over bedsheets? Too cute.

    Red and I kept talking about getting haircuts together but in the end they never happened – she didn’t want to go. But she was beaming with independence today. She helped me with bags, she can completely buckle herself in her carset, and she had no problems going potty in public restrooms. I think she enjoyed it so much we went a few times and then in mid seating she decided that she didn’t have to go. She had opinions during shopping and she had opinions going through hand-me-down clothes from a friend. She is growing up.

    It was a day of errands; eating bagels together, returning some things at Macy’s, then checking out Kohls and Bed Bath and Beyond for bedsheets for the kids (NOTHING was there… hence the Amazon shopping trip in the evening), buying decorative wall hangings at Pier 1 (and the kids had their opinions on what to get and made some EXCELLENT choices), and going out to lunch at In and Out Burger – they were thrilled for chocolate milkshakes.

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    Big Bro got extra alone time with me when the others were napping. He was helping to fill up a frame set that has clips on it to hang pictures or drawings – so he was busy writing all of our family members names and drawing pictures and finding photos to include in the set. We also did pre-shopping on Amazon for the bedsheets and picked out several options for Red to decide on when she woke up from her nap. We had fun together.

    I reunited with the Twins and gave them baths. Dinner and bedtime ran by me like a storm.

    So it was a normal sub-urban day, but it was extraordinary for the three of us. It was a nice way to end the long break. Tomorrow will be back to normal; all kids in childcare, 3 drop offs, a commute to the city for work. Things are twisting a bit in our household so there are other changes too – we are all getting used to the “new normal” and I myself am not used to any normal routine – this new routine is kindof unfolding and being refined day-by-day. I know I’m being cryptic but for good reason.

    Hope everyone’s day on Tuesday goes well – the return to work, the return to the normal routine – but at least it will be a short week!

    Til tomorrow –
    – Mama K

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    December 2: A post after my work Holiday party

    December 3, 2011 by 3 Comments

    OK. This may be a strange post. It;s 12 am after my holiday party. I want to wrap up the week;s posts and talk about my day. I am not sober. Foirgive me for any mis-spellings. It was a great day.

  • I walked big bro to school and had the Twins with me. Big Bo was so cute making sure that his scooter was locked up with his bike lock. I love his independence and also his maturity. He looked at me with a smile when he locked the bike lock successfully.

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  • I spent a good portion of the day straightening up the house and also going through clothes. With four kids, this is always a project. I had the twins with me and they were playing the whole time as I was going through their closet. Twin Husky was being a funny guy and decided to pretend to go “night-night” on one of the shelves with his stuffed animals. So cute.

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  • Not to be gross, but I caught another “twin moment” today. I was going to the bathroom and had to switch rolls of toilet paper, and this is what the twins started doing… putting their faces on either end and talking to each other and laughing through the tube:

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  • We then finished unpacking our Holiday decorations, which included all of these fuzzy singing things; they all needed batteries so that was our project. Finding the right tool to undo the screws on the toys and then also replacing the batteries. The Twins were mesmerized. I also took out the holiday carousel and they were talking about the horsies and trying to feed them chedder cheese goldfish crackers.

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  • We had lunch together. I love this picture of Twin Crazy:

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  • After naps we picked up Big Bro and Red. I bribed them for a picture all lined up in return for animal crackers. It worked.

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  • We went shopping for hubby’s birthday. It was really cute all of us going through the parking lot together, going through the store together… they were a bit rambuncious so it was a bit difficult but all in all we did well together and they picked out their gifts for their dad.

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  • We then went food shopping for cereal. They were so cute. I got stares. They all listen so well. At check out they started to play with candy but I told them that “candy” is not on our list so they would need to put everything back where they found it. Everyone listened. Even Twin Husky. I think the line of people behind me were amazed.

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    We then got home and played around a bit. I got them dinner and then got ready to leave for my holiday party. I missed them but enjoyed my time away. And yes, I did show pictures of them to my colleagues from my iPhone. Many that I shared with you tonight. I hope I’m not too overwhelming with my attachment to my kids. But what can you do. I am who I am.

    I had a great night and will take some Advil now to prepare for tomorrow.
    Have a great weekend all –
    – Mama K

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    November 30: Stealing Red

    November 30, 2011 by Leave a Comment

    Half of a work day! From home! YES!!!!

    Highlights of My Morning and “Commute”:

    • Red woke me up proud that she was already dressed for the morning. However, she only changed her top. So she did great, 1/2 of the way.
    • The Twins came bounding into the room – lots of hugs and jumping. I love that part of the day when the kids are excited to see us. By the time they reach Big Bro’s age, I guess they lull in bed and you have to tear them out and ask if it’s OK to give them a morning hug and kiss. 🙂
    • Downstairs, all kids were at the kitchen counter on stools. It was so cute. They were all lined up and sharing space and eating. As Hubby made lunches, Twin Husky hurled himself on the counter to reach for sliced apples. So they really had a diverse breakfast this morning.

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    • The older kids knew that I was working from home today, and a 1/2 day. So Big Bro knew that I was going to walk the Twins to daycare and also have him scooter his way to school. He was thrilled, but Red was upset about this. But then Red also knew that I was going to “steal” her from pre-school today early, and spend some 1:1 time with her (since Big Bro had time with me 1:1 last week). She was thrilled, but Big Bro was upset about this. So there they were fighting about the time they were going to spend with me. Big Bro wants Wednesday afternoons to be “Big Bro and Red” time together with me, versus 1:1 time. I asked him if we could talk about it later since Red would also have to agree. For now, she is excited about potentially going on a choo-choo train ride, and at that point Big Bro threw himself on the floor in a tantrum.
    • The walk to school/daycare was great. We by chance met up with our neighbors who also walk/bike to the school. I call all the kids together the “Motley Crew” — I laugh about that, and of course the kids have no clue what I’m alluding to. So together we all walked/strolled/scootered/biked to school. Big Bro had a great time and felt grown up as he locked up his scooter to the chain-linked fence.
    • I then strolled the Twins to daycare and brought along a potty for Twin Crazy, just in case she feels brave enough to try the potty at daycare. The Twins love the stroller rides in the morning. I have a feeling they do not get the chance to be “really” outside during the day at daycare. We talked about the falling leaves, the leaves on the ground, the sound of barking dogs….
    • My walk back was great. It felt good to get out, walk the trail back home, see the leaves on the ground, know that the kids were all close-by. So that stroll back by myself was my “commute” home and to work for the day. I LOVE THIS NEW WORKING ARRANGEMENT….

    Highlights of my 1/2 Working Day:

    I had a great day at home working and I think that working 1/2 days at home are so much better than full days. On full days, I tended to get sluggish from the absence of people. But 4 hours at home is a breeze. It gives me just enough time to be productive and not waste time. It occurs to me that I have so many pictures posted of my kids but nothing related to my work. So here it goes — below is my working set up while at home. Comfy couch, wired computer, plenty of coffee and water. And my phones close by.

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    • I had to troubleshoot some reporting problems we have with one of the forums I am managing. There are data issues and report distribution issues that I was not aware of. I think the problem is being addressed, but it does not make our firm look good to our clients. I need to make sure this type of thing does not happen again in the future…
    • I am happy to report that I received the work in progress work for my client project from the consultant who is helping me, and it looked like a REALLY good first start. I therefore was happily and aggressively working on the deliverable – it is so much easier for me to pull something together when I have good, strong, smart people working with me and creating materials that I can simply review versus re-do. So I had a very productive morning and sent off a first draft of the deliverable to my Directors for their first review. I will need to focus on content early next week and we will meet with the client at the end of next week. I think we are in good shape so I feel great about that.
    • I then submitted my timesheet and signed off for the day. 🙂

    The Rest of the Day:

    • I went to lunch at 1:15 and ate at a great sushi place while typing on my iPad. I called Red’s pre-school to see when they wake up from nap. 2:30. Great. That gave me time to go food shopping before I stole her for our 1:1 time….
    • Red was so excited to see me. She was smiling and jumping up and down. She was literally speechless.

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    • I asked her what she wanted to do and she wanted to go shopping for new underwear for Twin Crazy. So cute. I suggested feeding the ducks first. We had a great time. She sat on my lap. There were four different kinds of ducks there all with different looks and different quacks. Some were meek and some were aggressive. We talked about the different kinds of ducks and tried to throw the bread to the meeker ducks.

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    • We then went shopping. On our way we made a list. I never walk into a store until I make a verbal list with the kids. This prevents melt-downs when I say we cannot buy random stuff at the store that they happen to fall in love with. So on our list was 1) underwear for Twin Crazy, and 2) sneakers for Red. When we walked in there I was sidetracked by blankets and Red quickly remarked “No Mommy. That’s not on our list.” I couldn’t believe it. “Thank you [Red] for keeping me on track.” So cute. Then she got sidetracked with the Christmas ornaments but she did not break down in a tantrum when we moved on because they were not on the list. We shopped for sneakers. She needed a pair with lights. We went shopping for small underwear for Twin Crazy. She picked out a package that she thought Twin Crazy would like. We stopped at a drug store for pull-ups for Twin Crazy. I found the right size and gender, and Red picked out a package that she wanted us to buy. She is so sweet. Shopping for Twin Crazy was the first thing she wanted to do with her alone time with me. I am so lucky that these kids are so empathetic with each other.

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    • We then picked up Big Bro and the Twins; I cooked a quick dinner; we tried more potty time with Twin Crazy without luck – but she loved the pull-ups (so much so that she had on about 4 or 5 pairs all over her legs). I felt like I didn’t have enough time with Twin Husky but I’ll make it up to him tomorrow.

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    I had a great day. I felt like I contributed to our family finances and then had the opportunity to steal my child for 1:1 time. Dinner and after dinner was a blur with kids and a flurry of activity but I enjoyed it; and am enjoying my couch now even more than earlier today! Wait a minute…. I hear some stifled laughing at the steps…. I better go now and be a tough-ass so these kids respect me and go to bed.

    Till tomorrow –
    – Mama K

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    Random Thoughts: Cyber Monday!

    November 29, 2011 by 1 Comment

    So, Cyber Monday came and went. And from what I can tell, it was a big deal for retailers and actual shopping exceeded many’s expectations.

    I did not participate in it since I’m trying to tone down my shopping sprees. I KNEW that if I started with holiday shopping for kids (rational purchases), I would go overboard with items for myself (irrational purchases, considering the amount of stuff I’ve purchased for myself over this last year — refer to my post “Staying Sane: 41 ideas for yourself”).

    So I’m curious about our shopping activities of our audience. Some questions for you:

    Way to go ladies! Kuddos for stimulating the economy, creating jobs, and helping to close the Federal deficit!! Job well done!!

    Thank you for (playing) participating!!!

    – Mama K

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    October 25: Too many emotions….

    October 25, 2011 by Leave a Comment

    Hmmmm. What did we do today? I’m right now in bed, feeling completely wiped out and trying to think through to this morning, which feels like months ago.

    Highlights of the Morning and Commute:

    • I know there was an early morning waking from Twin Husky. The East Coast time difference has been the hardest on him. He eventually went back to sleep after some reassurance, but then Red crawled into our bed 10 minutes later. She rested while playing with her fingers.
    • The morning was our usual… except that we were still struggling with lack of food. We managed to do Chocolate Tuesday tortillas and raisin bread, and pasta for lunch. The Twins ate an enormous amount of oatmeal. I think Twin Crazy had 2 1/2 packages just on her own.
    • I got the kids dressed in their Halloween t-shirts and tried to get a picture of all of them together, but Red was not cooperating.

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    • The 3 drop offs with Hubby drop off went fine. I was working from home today.

    Highlights of My Working Day:

    • Pot of coffee. No shower. Fistfulls of Cheerios shoved in my mouth.
    • Conference call for 1.5 hours to review analysis that we will present at the forum next week. I provided my thoughts for improvements and how to pull out the “drivers” of what we were seeing in the numbers.
    • I took a break to get to Big Bro’s school since I was volunteering for his lunch hour. He held it together a little bit, but completely lost it. He gets so upset and anxious when his worlds collide. And it breaks my heart. Especially since now the kids are old enough to notice and ask why he is crying. I don’t know what to do in these instances. Come to his rescue, which only exacerbates the problem — or, throw him to the world and force him to deal with the situation? I am at a loss now since I’ve also signed up for other volunteer spots through this week and I just can’t bear to see him in the anguish and it takes such a toll on me too…
    • I go to lunch afterwards and force down some Pad Thai. My head is killing me. My body is aching and my head is spinning. I feel like crawling in a fetal position under the table at the restaurant.
    • As soon as I get back home, I learn that one of our speakers has dropped out of the Agenda for next week’s meeting. OMFG. Now what am I going to do? How will I even manage to secure a speaker in one week’s time?
    • I then start a conference call with a prospective client who attended the forums we recently conducted — he reached out to me personally and our company is going to propose on a business strategy related to our area of expertise – this could potentially be a VERY large project, and we are very well positioned to win it. And it was MY relationship and MY lead!!! I will likely develop the proposal and serve as an advisor to the project but am hesitant to take on too much of the heavy-lifting if we win it.
    • I then grabbed Big Bro early from after-care and took him jacket shopping. I like doing these kinds of things one on one with him; especially after the emotional day he had at school.

    Dinner and Bedtime:

    • Mac-n-cheese and broccoli! Thank goodness Safeway arrived with our delivery! We now have food in the house! Yeah!!!

    I can’t write much more tonight; I’ve had a pretty emotional evening and overall day – filled with ups and downs, mostly downs I think. I’m mentally drained and can’t believe I’m at the keyboard now.

    Til tomorrow –
    – Mama K

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    Staying Sane: Pay for help!!!!

    October 9, 2011 by 4 Comments

    It seems that life these days is so much more complicated than it has to be.  When I was growing up, it seemed that life was less complex and we had a steady stream of visitors, neighbors, and relatives in and out of our house almost daily.  It seemed like we had that “live in a village” type of set up where folks helped each other out, and our family was all close-by.

    Fast-forward 35 years.   People are more remote than ever – which has its pros and cons.   We are far away from both of our families and we live in a bigger city where we do not have that “village” community.  People tend to stick to themselves during the week.  Me and Hubby cannot rely on close family or friends to care for our kids (or care for us).  We also both work full-time — so everything falls on us.  And everything DID fall on us, until about a year ago when we came to terms with our situation and said THIS IS IMPOSSIBLE – we need to start delegating our load and paying for help.   I also wrote about how you shouldn’t expect to be able to do everything   and that you need to rely and team with your partner.    Well after these two important points, another way to “stay sane” is to think through EVERYTHING that can POSSIBLY be outsourced within your means and then cross those responsibilities off your list. Daycare is a tricky one since you likely have to work (I’ll talk about that in a separate post).  But think through what you do on a daily basis, weekly basis, monthly basis….. the task could be a candidate for outsourcing IF:

    • the task does not necessarily need to be done by you or your partner
    • having the task done by someone else will not impede your relationship building with any of your children or your partner
    • the task can be done quicker, faster, easier by someone else
    • the cost of outsourcing the task is worth the time it frees up — either for yourself, for you and your partner, or for you and your children
    • the cost of outsourcing the task is worth the convenience and/or improved quality of life it enables
    • you or your partner do not gain personal satisfaction with the task
    • your budget can allow for it; the cost of outsourcing is worth it compared to other things you could spend your money on

    From our own household and talking with other working mothers, here are some ideas and approaches on delegating work loads and paying for help (obviously the reality will depend on your budget and tolerance for spending):

    • Housecleaning.
        • Find a housekeeper that is flexible — find one where you can call on them to clean your house when you want, and at whatever frequency you need. If you hire one less often, you will still need to the tidying between visits but the housekeeper can do the deep cleaning, dusting, special projects that you know you will never want to do.
        • Hire a younger college student to do the basic cleaning tasks you can’t keep up with (sweeping, mopping floors, cleaning the bathrooms). Post on “gigs” section of Craig’s List for this kind of help.
        • In our house, we hire a housekeeper about 1x a quarter (we need to go every other week I think. We have a Mother’s Helper who comes during week nights to help with dinner clean up, laundry, and general straightening up.)
    Pay for help!

    Pay for help!

    • Laundry.   Consider a Mother’s Helper (see above) or dry cleaner where you can pay by the pound. Someone mentioned blueskycleaners.com, a service where they pick up and drop off and use environmentally friendly methods (it is more expensive but saves time since they do the pickup and drop off of clothes).  Some nannies will also do laundry, make breakfast in the morning, lunch, and keep the house clean (however they are very expensive).
    • Shopping.  I like to outsource grocery shopping to Safeway.com (Hubby hates when I do this because he thinks we spend more money this way) and I am also a HUGE fan of Amazon.com for just about any other shopping I need to do — they sell everything imaginable.
    • Mother’s helper to help with homework (our eldest is in Kindergarten so this does not apply to us yet — but I would want to take this on personally)
    • Washing the car (Hubby loves doing this – he always has. And now he loves doing this with Big Bro and Red by his side as they “help”).
    • Cooking (maybe some nannies can do? We don’t have a nanny and we would never be able to afford a personal chef).

    Wouldn’t it be wonderful if our dual-working families could afford to have teams of people at our fingertips so we could enjoy our time with our kids??!?!?!?!??! Of course our budgets are NOT endless, which is why we are probably working in the first place. I think the key is to figure out what are the things need to be done but you and your partner choose NOT to do to free up your time to spend with your kids, get some alone time together, or get some alone time alone! It’s another balancing act but one that I believe pays off. The extra money spent can be well worth the stress relief and freeing up of time to do the things you and your partner WANT to do. In the end I think it’s well worth it, within reason.

    What other things can be outsourced in your home? What works with your family? What hasn’t worked? What other information can others share????? 

    Thanks for listening –

    – Mama K

    Filed Under: Staying Sane Tagged With: , , , , , , , , ,

    September 9: Getting ready for the weekend…

    September 9, 2011 by Leave a Comment

    I decided to work from home today since I worked in the office the rest of the week.  So this morning was less hectic, until we realized we were running really late for Big Bro’s school:

    Highlights of the Morning and Commute:

    • Red winds up in our bed at 6:30 and asks me to fix her pony-tail.   We don’t get up until after 7 for some reason.   So we start a bit late.
    • Big Bro hides under his blanket and goes into the Twins’ room to make them laugh.  They laugh hysterically, over and over again.  In fact they are jumping in their cribs laughing.
    • I diaper the Twins but both REALLY want Hubby this AM.  He takes everyone downstairs for breakfast.  I head down too – no shower, no make up.  An easy work day for me physically.
    • Everyone eats well except for Big Bro.
    • I’m not sure what I’m doing but I guess I’m talking with the kids and holding them and cutting apples and drinking coffee.  For some reason, and I don’t know why, we are suddenly extremely late.   I guess I was too relaxed thinking we had all of this time but I looked at the clock and it was 8:10!!!   That’s usually when we are dropping off Big Bro in the school yard!    OH SHIT WE ARE MAJORLY LATE BIG TIME!!!!!!!   LET’S GO!!!!!
    • I do all drop offs, Hubby takes the car for another meeting.
    • 1st drop off:   Twins.   Fast.  Easy shmeasy.
    • 2nd drop off:   Big Bro.  All of the kids are on their way from the yard (in a line up) into the classroom.  We quickly make the last of the last line in.   I dance around with Big Bro and Red that “we’re in the back of the parade, we’re in the back of the parade.”  Seriously, we’re (I’m) singing and swinging their arms and dancing around saying this over and over again.  The kids are laughing.  I think they think I’m a bit silly sometimes.   But I have so much fun with them.
    • 3rd drop off:  Red.  I like taking her into pre-school slowly.  Not rushing.  She gets set up with an activity and she is so sweet.   She makes a comment to me that “after we drop off [Twin Crazy], there are TWO girls in the car.   And then when we drop me off, there will be ONE girl in the car – but when we go in together, there will be NO girls in the car”.    How cute.   I didn’t realize she could grasp those concepts.   I feel like I’m not in tune with them as much as I should be.    How cute of her.   My little mathematician.
    • I stop by the fire-station and talk to a fireman.  I want to bring the kids over here on 9/11 and bring the firefighters “gifts” that the kids get/make for them to show our appreciation.   The kids are excited about this.   I just wanted to confirm with him that it is OK and also what kinds of things they would like to have.   I’m going with the kids today to do some shopping and will steer them towards:  playing cards, dominoes, other games, fruit, etc.   I also mentioned that the kids might pick out toys or stickers for them (cute) and he said that’s great, they could give to Toys for Tots or even take them home for their own kids.   Great!!!
    • I head home and get my space set up for work.   Coffee is on.  Phones are charged.   I turn my computer on.
    Highlights of my Working Day:
    • I spent about two hours on the phone working with my colleague who is transferring over responsibilities.  There is a lot of coordination that needs to be done across 4 big events that are coming up that I will be responsible for.   I get the latest status from her and feel good about my understanding of what needs to be done.    I know this is probably a  false sense of security since one day she will be gone and I’ll suddenly have 100 questions.   🙂
    • I finished up my sales efforts for one new initiative; and coordinated with the team to get them going and organized.
    • I finished up other sales efforts for another initiative – nothing more for me to do here.
    • I prepared an invoice for a project and sent; I’m setting up a meeting with the client and our leadership to see how are firms can continue to work together
    • I did some admin-related items and then called it a day.
    • I showered and then ran to my children.  I picked up Big Bro first, and then Red.  Both were excited about the shopping we were going to do this afternoon.  We went shopping to buy “thank you” gifts for the fire-fighters in our neighborhood.  The kids picked out puzzles (princess, bears, cars) and I helped them pick out playing cards, UNO, Yahtzee, and dominos.   They had a great time shopping for what the firefighters would like.  We passed by a lot of candy and snacks and I said that kind of food is not healthy for the body so the kids did NOT want to get that for the firefighters.  How cute.
    • I am alone tonight.  Hubby is at a sporting event for work.
    Dinner and Bedtime:
    • I ordered a pizza on the way to pick up the Twins.  They were squealing as usual.  She mentioned that they were both singing “Happy Birthday” today.   They were excited to see their big brother and sister.
    • We were home literally for 5 minutes when the pizza man came!   Perfect timing.  He asked me if I’m a daycare provider.  Seriously.  I guess our place looks over-run with toys?  I guess we have too many children?  I guess I look like I’m 20-something and too fit to have had 4 kids?  🙂  Seriously.   I couldn’t believe it.  I never thought my life would look like this.
    • Twins were cranky so I took them up for a “cat nap”.   This really just turned into them laughing with each other in their room — squealing, singing, screaming, laughing…..  so I brought them back down after we were done eating pizza.
    • I set the Twins up with their pizza at the little table while Big Bro, Red and I were in the living room.  Friday is “movie night” and Big Bro was excited.   So we watched movies until Twins finished eating.   Then I made popcorn and everybody went nuts.
    • I really don’t know where the time went…. because by 5:30 we were fed and I started the bedtime routine at 7:30.   So I had TWO HOURS with them and I can’t remember what we did!!!   I remember lots of tickling and hugging Twin Husky.  LOTS of it.   He had so much fun.   I remember Red having an ENORMOUS poop and everyone running in the bathroom to look at it.   I remember dressing the Twins in their PJs and talking about the “balls” on Twin Husky’s pants.    I remember reading the Twins books downstairs.   And how Twin Husky is sooooooooooooooo curious about everything and asking what everything is.   I remember Twin Husky climbing on a big box (new sewing machine, I’ll explain another time) and me looking at him in the corner of my eye to make sure he was OK.  I remember Twin Husky and Twin Crazy running around and stealing toys from each other and crying/trying to bite.  I remember Big Bro asking me if I could spend some time with him watching his movie.    I was in bliss.   The time just flew by.   And I enjoyed so much of it with them.
    Red "reading" to Twin Husky

    Red "reading" to Twin Husky

    • 7:30 – time to go up!    I went up with the Twins and I asked Red and Big Bro to come up in a few minutes.  I also asked Red to straighten up the toys and seriously – when I came down EVERYTHING was put away and organized.   It’s like she had OCD.   Everything was perfectly lined up and there was not a toy out of place.  She was very proud of herself and I hugged her and wouldn’t let go.
    • I told a story for Big Bro and Red with all 3 of us laying in his bed.   It was a story about my travels in the past.  A time when I was in Morocco and I had to take a long bus-ride to the outskirts of the Sahara desert and we rode camels for hours and had a picnic in the Sahara.  I told them that my butt hurt after the camel ride.
    I’m feeling REALLY good about today; I had a later morning with the kids, got a lot of work done, and had an amazing evening with all of them.  So relaxed, the kids were so good.   It just feels so right.   All I need now is maybe a glass of wine and maybe some adults to share a drink with.  In the meantime, I’m gearing up for a big weekend, a likely emotional weekend.   It’s days like this when I want to hold my children closer, hug them a bit longer, and caress them a bit gentler.   I don’t know what I’d ever do without them.   I can’t bear to think about it.
    Great weekend to all –  particularly this Sunday.    So much has changed since then.
    Til next week –
    – Mama K

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