twins – Mama In Motion™

April 12: The never-ending day

April 12, 2012 by Mama K Leave a Comment

Long day, but nice day with Twin Crazy and Twin Husky. Even though the week before my big meetings…. I couldn’t get their daycare provider today but it was a good thing; it gave me time to play with them since I will be away all of next week.

Highlights of the Morning:

I had some cuddle time with Twin Husky
Red showed me one of her drawings and we put it on the clip-wall hanging in my room. She was excited to see her art displayed and enjoyed looking at the other pieces of art and pictures that were clipped up there.
Big Bro rode his bike to school and I took the Twins in the stroller. Twin Crazy was wearing her rainboots. Twin Husky wanted to bring sidewalk chalk.
At home, Twin Crazy had a poop accident so we had to change her clothes. She enjoyed walking around the house in just her underwear. So Twin Husky decided to strip down too and was walking around in only his diaper.
We did laundry together. Putting a load in, watching the water fill, watching it turn and do its work. Taking the clean clothes out, putting them in the dryer together. And then starting a new load. Me handing them a pile of clothes, and them putting the pieces into the washer. They really enjoy that. I found a flashlight in the washer – glad I looked before I put any soap in. Twin Husky wanted to fold the clothes too which was cute. Him rolling up the clothing in a ball and putting it on top of a pile and patting it down. So cute.
We ate, played, tickled.
While they played I tried to get some work done. Mostly emails to keep things moving. There was one or two conference calls that were comical since I had two boisterous toddlers on my hands.
Twins were fighting over sitting on a tin canister. Twin Crazy is very aggressive. I have to watch what they do because she bullies him.
They had fun playing with water when eating their lunch. They’re having issues with water-play during food time that I do not like.
When they napped, I worked: finishing touches on Agendas, reaching out to confirm and get more info from speakers, looking at presentations, confirming attendee lists. I also had to get an analyst set up to populate a presentation for me… I will need to look and work on that tonight.

The Rest of the Day:

Twins woke up and ate oatmeal for a snack.
We went to pick up Red – Twin Husky wanted to sit in Big Bro’s carseat, and Twin Crazy was in Red’s. They were having so much fun. Red’s pickup was fast. Big Bro rode his bike home, along the lagoon. He took the other way around our our house and I drove slowly so he could beat us there.
We went food shopping for Red’s Green Smoothie ingredients. They were having a great time picking out other food items and helping me put things into plastic bags. Big Bro tried to sneak in a big package of cup-cakes. They were all well behaved.
At home I had a roast cooking; so it was play-time. Tickle-time. The kids decided to give each other manicures and pedicures.
After dinner we had smoothies. They all helped to put in the ingredients and liked the treat with their straws.
We sat down to some TV, cuddled, and Twin Husky pumped on sugar wanted to push the rocking chair that we were sitting on.
I had bedtime with Big Bro and Red. I read a book where there was reference to a princess that had died. Big Bro said that it made him feel sad. I was surprised that he was talking that way since his teachers have told us that he doesn’t share his feelings. I’m happy that he’s talking like that with me. We’ve been working together on “feelings” and it’s making me feel better that we can start to talk like this.
There was thunder and lightening. They were asking a lot of questions. Big Bro passed out without a problem. Red was trickier, but I said it was OK to feel scared and that she was doing great and almost 1/2 asleep already. I’m downstairs typing on the desktop since I locked myself out of my room – co-parent is upstairs in the hallway and she is quiet.

My locksmith just left; I am now able to get back into my room and get to my computer. Now the third shift starts. I need to get some presentations finished.

Til tomorrow –

– Mama K

Filed Under: Daily Journal Tagged With: cuddles, laundry, parenting, part-time, shopping, thunderstorms, twins, working mom, working mother

April 3: Big Brother and his sisters’ tears

April 3, 2012 by Mama K 1 Comment

Chocolate Tuesday!

Highlights of the Morning and Commute:

Red woke up at 5 AM; I went to check on her. There was no heat on. It was 66 degrees. I put the heat on and decided to bring her down with me since it was almost morning anyway.

All kids were going crazy with chocolate tuesday. Red was a bit finicky and having problems communicating what she wanted for breakfast. I asked her what bread she wanted. Regular bread or tortilla? She wanted a tortilla and her face lit up with a smile.

The kids were “testing” the chocolate Nutella to see if it was OK. [A hypothesis of the reason why Red was rejecting her breakfast was that the chocolate was not good. So we did an experiment and checked the Nutella chocolate to make sure it tasted OK. It did.]

Kids were acting silly with head motions so I asked them if they were stretching and exercising. That really got them going with more movement.

Red and Big Bro were already dressed from the night before. They wanted to get ready fast this morning so when they set out their clothes last night, they decided to get changed into them and sleep in them to save them time this morning. I told them last night that they were ridiculous, laughed, told them to wear what is comfortable, and left their room. They were ready very quickly this AM!

Everyone was ready so early that there was plenty of time to play. Big Bro started to read Twin Crazy a picture book.

We did drop offs all together this AM. We were ready quickly so all got in the van and dropped off Twins first, and then Red/Big Bro at Red’s school [he is on spring break so we are paying extra for “camp” for him this week]. They enjoyed all being together in the van. I felt a pang of sorrow for them and their excitement.

I am now on the ferry with a lot on my mind. I will be busy at work but I think everything is under control, at this point. I also have things to think about related to personal items…. some things I need to check on to prepare for big meetings at the end of the week.

Today at work I have one team working session scheduled to go over the team’s analysis and one client touchpoint meeting. This gives me a lot of time to focus on other work and actually get work accomplished. Some sell meetings to schedule, some follow up with speakers, confirmations of speaker times, etc. I also have to think through revamping the entire work product that our company presents at the forums. It is extremely manual to update for each meeting and also the story/takeways are not compelling. Visually it is hard to digest. The files are at graphics now and I need to think through the work product and make changes to format, insight, structure, etc. to make the presentation more concise, compelling, and visually easier to digest. That will take some time but I think I can get to it today. I would like to have a final re-vamp done by end of week for Director review. I think it will be a good day. I’m not stressed at all about where we are in terms of meetings and deliverables.

Highlights of My Working Day:

I spent time with the project team on our client work and also client update.

I spent time reaching out to potential speakers and guests to our forums

I remembered to grab printouts of our work product for the forums but did not have a chance to review

I spent quite a bit of time on personal things – necessary personal things

I’m on the ferry home and am feeling angry. I really want to see the kids. They put a smile on my face and make me relax. They can sooooo effectively use humor with me and they know what to do to get a laugh out of me. It’s easy for them to do. And we enjoy these times. So, I’m looking forward to seeing my kids and laughing with them tonight.

Dinner and Bedtime:

I picked up Red and Big Bro, and then we went to pick up Twin Crazy and Twin Husky. We found them taking a walk along the sidewalk with their daycare provider as we pulled into the courtyard with the van. Red and Big Bro went nuts. I pulled over to the side and drove up very slowly…. Red and Big Bro both unbuckled their seatbelts and flew to the windows demanding for the windows to be pulled down. There we were, in the van and cheering outside of the window, to Twin Crazy and Twin Husky who were both very excited for the warm welcome.

At home I started cooking fish and rice. It was baked, so I had some time with the kids before it was ready. We played for a bit, went potty A LOT (Twin Crazy getting used to the chocolate chip rewards), went for a walk to the mailbox to get the mail, ran around a bit…. Twin Crazy then had a poop accident. While I was upstairs getting her new clothes, somebody (still not sure who) climbed up something (still don’t know what) and grabbed the huge bag of chocolate chips from Costco… there were chips ALL OVER THE KITCHEN FLOOR. I threatened to put locks on all of the cabinets since the kids have proven to me that they cannot be trusted. Everyone was silent.

We had some problems with Red during dinner. She was saying that she wanted carrots but not talking clearly. So she eventually threw herself on the floor after we were not able to understand her. Eventually I asked her to either speak clearer, or go into the other room with a book because I did not want to hear it anymore. I eventually had to pick her up with a book, and take her into the other room. At that point she clearly told me that she wanted carrots. I gave carrots to her. She was smiling.

After dinner I played “tickle monster”, cleaned up from dinner, and then became the “tickle monster” again. The kids were playing well with each other – Big Bro putting everyone’s stuffed animals to “night night”, giving them wagon rides…. helping Twin Crazy get her new underwear on…. they really were getting along very well.

I was on Twin Crazy and Twin Husky duty tonight. They went down OK, Twin Crazy a bit tough. Red was having a very difficult time. She wanted to stay with me as I read to the Twins. I let her. The cutest thing was the big, big hugs that the Twins gave each other tonight. They embraced, held each other tight, pulled away looking at each other and laughing, and then embracing yet again. IT WAS SOOOOO SWEET I couldn’t believe it. I haven’t seen this affection in this way, with this intensity, so far. It was too cute.

I went downstairs and heard so much commotion upstairs. I had to go up. I knew Red was having a really rough time so wanted to go to her. I found Twin Crazy and Twin Husky up in Big Bro/Red’s room reading a book with co-parent!! What?!??!?!? What is this routine? I already put them to bed. “They were crying so I’m reading them a book.” Are you kidding me??@!?!??! Not the kind of routine that I want to start. I brought them both back into their room. Twin Crazy was VERY upset. I sat with her and hugged her and calmed her down. She told me she didn’t want to go night-night. I told her that it was time for everyone to go night-night, that she wasn’t missing out on anything. Eventually I saw that the bathroom door was closed. She is now scared of the dark. I asked her if she was scared because the door was closed and she said YES. I asked her if we need to open the door and she said YES. I asked her if that was the reason why she was so upset and she said YES. I consoled her and told her that yes, the dark CAN be scary and that she must have been very scared with the door closed. I rocked her. I asked her if she was OK now and she said Yeah. I asked if it was better that the bathroom door was open for her and she said Yeah. I asked her if she could go to sleep now and she said Yeah. I put her back into her crib, her little face looking up at me, and told her that it was OK, that it was OK to feel scared, but the bathroom door was open and it wasn’t so dark in her room anymore. I left the room, kept her bedroom door open a bit, asked if that was OK and if she was OK and I heard her say Yeah.

Then it was working on Red. I sat with her in the hallway and hugged her in silence. I walked her back into her room. She did not want me to leave, but I did. I went downstairs and she followed me down in a fit. I dried off her face and carried her upstairs. I sat down with her and read her a book. I held her some more. I put her to bed. I put on her special blanket. I brought up my iPad and am now typing in the hallway outside of her room, which I promised to do for her. She hears me typing. She knows I’m closeby. I hear her sighing from time to time and know that she is relaxing and going to sleep.

I am so tired. I am so scared for these kids. It will just get worse for them. As it gets better for me, it will get worse for them… so in the end it gets worse for me too. These kids are going to be put to the test. And I know them. I know what gets them upset. I can understand them – and when I cannot, I take the time to figure it out. I let them know, and I prove to them, that it is important to me to understand them and connect with them. I try to understand their fears, their needs, their emotions…. even when they themselves cannot. I am taking the time because it comes natural for me. And also because I know that I cannot be there for them all the time – so I’m trying to do my best with the time that I have to give. To reassure them and help them when I see that they need the help.

Til tomorrow –
– Mama K

Filed Under: Daily Journal Tagged With: divorce, emotional needs, hugs, nutella, parenting, part-time, siblings, tantrums, twins, working mom, working mother

March 19: Power Day! No, roller coaster day….

March 19, 2012 by Mama K Leave a Comment

This was an AWESOME day. It just all sortof came together – very busy, but very smoothe. Update: no, it ended on a really sour note. Blech.

Highlights of the Morning and Commute:

Twin Crazy was excited about bringing her bouncy, laughing, jumping doll to daycare. She was also excited about bringing her new backpack (thank you Nana!).

All kids ate quickly, and got dressed AOK. No problems. No issues. No crying over socks. No crying over shirts. Their clothes were out, their favorites were clean.

Even though Big Bro lost his bike riding privelege this AM, he did not put up a fuss. He knew that he wasn’t able to ride and just dealt with it. There was no whining about it, which I was grateful for.

We all got ready so quickly that we all took the same van together for drop offs. We dropped of Twin Crazy and Twin Husky first, then Big Bro, then daddy off at the ferry station, and then I dropped off Red, solo. We looked at the rainbow that her class painted and I had to take turns with her to get a picture of her with it.

I got back home and started my working day – ate breakfast, cleaned up a bit, and got my computer and phones out. I was ready to begin.

Highlights of the Working Day:

I reviewed a client presentation that we gave today. There were a few changes that needed to be made before we could present it to the client.

I must have reached out to 20+ people to confirm partipation, speaking spots, etc. I confirmed topic and focus areas with the clients of one forum.

There were lots of emails to trouble-shoot today.

I started to get ready for my client presentation. Hair dry, make up, suit. I got my lunch ready – 2 cheesesticks and a Pepsi. I got my car phone charger and also my ear bud microphone. I listened to Metallica on the car ride until I had to turn it off to get ready for a conference call.

I had a conference call on my drive to the client as a status check for one meeting in April we are spear-heading. I finished the call in the parking lot of the client office building.

We had our interim review with the client and they seriously love us. I presented the work and it was very much “work together” – bringing the boss up to speed on the analysis, discussing highlights from interviews, and working with them to think through initial scenarios to run with our market sizing model. We mapped out what we will be able to deliver by next Tuesday’s status meeting and I believe that we continue to impress them with the analysis, thinking, and teaming along the way.

I drove back home and blasted heavy metal. Scorpions. Tesla. I felt alive.

I got home right at 5 PM and had time to switch to the mini-van. I went to pick up all the kids and start my 2nd shift.

Dinner and Bedtime:

All pick ups were great; I gave them a snack while I cooked dinner. Dinner was ready shortly after 6 PM and they ate really well. I made a trip with them to the mailbox while dinner was finishing up. Red ate 6 pieces of broccoli.

Afterwards the kids played, I folded laundry, got the Twins changed.

Twin Husky now points to the part of his head where he wants me to kiss him. So cute.

Twin Crazy started wearing my shoes around; Twin Husky started wearing Red’s summer flip flops.

I talked with Big Bro about numbers and infinity and how there is no last number. I can’t believe I’m getting into these discussions with him already. He’s not even 6 years old.

Big Bro also wanted to talk about dolphins. How he knew why they jump in the air… to play, and to breathe. He’s right. I asked him where he learned that. He said he just was thinking about it.

He also wrote a note to a leprachaun telling him to come in for some gold and a surprise. He said that he was going to catch him and laughed.

Red wanted airplane rides but wanted my pajama bottoms to be pulled to my ankles since I didn’t shave my legs. They all hate the stubble on my legs when I rough-house with them.

I did bedtime routine with Twins – Twin Crazy has gotten into a routine of wanting to kiss her brother. I first would dangle her over his crib, and then put her inside his crib where they lay together and laugh and blow kisses. So cute. When I put her in her own crib she was really upset, calling for her brother. So sweet.

Big Bro was hiding in the Twin’s room, not wanting to start bedtime routine.

Red had a hard time with bedtime routine tonight. It’s almost 9 PM and its still not over….

[Note; 8:30 PM: OMG Red is screaming right now and daddy is on night-time routine. He just lets her scream and come downstairs to me. He just ignores her and reads to Big Bro and lets her come down here to me… what happens when I am not here? Are these kids going to be screaming and ignored? She keeps running down here. OMG it is now 9:08 and she is screaming for me. I couldn’t take it anymore. I went up at 9:10 and talked to her and settled her in bed. I talked to her about her breathing and how I sometimes have a hard time going to sleep. I talked to her about relaxing her arms, shoulders, fingers, elbows, legs, etc. I said I would come back in 2 minutes to check back on her and I did. Now I’m in the middle of a “4” minute check in and writing this. I’m listening to her sighing in the monitor – knowing that he will never have the patience for this and that these kids will need me now more than ever.]

So this is the roller coaster I live. Seriously. I spent 95% of the daytime feeling on top of the world. Kids were cooperative, playful, intelligent, ebbing and flowing with me. Work was great. I was jamming on things that needed to get done, multi-tasking, getting revved up for a client presentation, and knocking their socks off. I felt alive on the drive home and happy. I ran to get my kids to embrace the balance that I need. They were happy, jumping, playing with me and playing with each other. They were engaging and I felt proud of them….

… and then bedtime. And Red. And screaming. And prying her off of me.

I can’t wait to get out of this house – I can’t stand to hear it anymore. I need to know that we are doing the right thing by these kids given this situation and this does not feel right to me. This is sink or swim. And I can’t stand to see my kids sinking, and flailing, and standing by without doing anything. This is the worst possible situation to be in. Force the separation for what you think is best in the long run, but I don’t believe in that long run scenario. And she was happy today but in pieces tonight. And I was pumped all day today, and feel defeated tonight.

The end of the school year cannot come fast enough for me. We just have a lot of ground to cover between now and then. I am ready for it and ready to be there for my kids and fight for them along the way.

Til tomorrow,
– Mama K

Filed Under: Daily Journal Tagged With: client presentation, divorce, emotions, infinity, parenting, shoes, tantrums, twins, working mom, working mother

Staying Sane: Celebrate

February 12, 2012 by Mama K 1 Comment

The days come and the days go but every now and then there comes a day that is special. With young children, the birthdays are special times. I’ve always been very big with birthdays. It is a time to stop and to focus on an individual and celebrate the person and the fact that the person is in your life. I love the days leading up to a birthday – especially the days leading up to a child’s birthday.

Today was one of those days, and it was a double-special day, in many ways. Our twins turned two. Two bodies, two lives, a brother and a sister, celebrating their second year of life. I remember when we found out we were having twins, and then the day they were born (Twin Crazy at 6 pounds 5 ounces, and Twin Husky at 6 pounds 12 ounces), and many of the days leading up to today.

They knew it was their birthday. They would raise their hands when we asked whose birthday it was. Twin Husky has been walking around for several days now practicing his “happy birthday” tune. And the cutest thing is that when I would ask one whose birthday it was, they would say their sibling’s name first. I think that’s amazing. A pair. A set. Two children. Two years.

So in the midst of day-to-day life, and life’s ups and downs, and endings and new beginnings, it was wonderful for me to stop and take the day to celebrate the lives of two people that have forever changed my life. My goal was to make it special for them – and they both said they had a great day. We had a small party with close friends and young kids – and the cake and ice-cream overflowed and we let everyone indulge.

So to my twins who are growing up so fast, Happy Birthday to you and thank you for these years and thank you for giving me a reason to be thrilled for this weekend!

Love you both dearly –
– Mama

Filed Under: Staying Sane Tagged With: birthday, celebration, parenting, party, twins, working mom, working mother

November 28: Getting back to the “normal” routine

November 28, 2011 by Mama K Leave a Comment

Monday. After a 4-day holiday (home made play dough, visits to the beach, visit to a steam train, going out to lunch, putting up our tree…..). We were a bit rusty this morning.

Highlights of the Morning and Commute:

I woke up super early since I thought I had to take an earlier ferry into the city today for an early conference call. I showered, got dressed, and 5 minutes before I was about to leave I checked my email on iPhone. Good thing I checked because the meeting was cancelled! But I had to coordinate with my admin to push back a second meeting since I would be a bit late for that. So, this morning was already a juggling act for work.
Red woke up first, happy. I heard Twin Husky saying “Mommy… mommy….mommy!!!”. He was walking up the stairs trying to find me. I love this with him. We’ve recently gotten much closer and I love it.
Twin Crazy was busy with oatmeal all over her mouth and cheeks (so cute) and also busy bringing around the “new” Christmas stuffed animals from room to room. Twin Husky was transporting them too – using the toy shopping cart.
I was busy this AM finishing some laundry – getting bags packed for the kids and linens for sleep time.
The kids were in a great mood since the tree was up. Everyone wanted to get changed and ready in the toy room where the tree was. It’s amazing what some lights and little ornaments do for a small child. Wonderment. And the Twins this year are 22 months old so this is somewhat new to them… they didn’t really “get it” last year. This year, they were helping with the decorations, pulling the decorations off of the tree, eating the gel decorations off of the windows, etc. So cute.

We divided drop offs this AM. I took Red. She was clingy. It was a rough drop off. We talked about the home-made play-dough we made over the weekend, the book that she brought to school, but she was still clinging on to me and reaching out to me as I left. I think many kids were having a rough time adjusting to “school” after a 4 day block of time at home with their families.

So now I’m on the “normal” ferry and headed through the fog to the city. Although my first meeting was canceled, I still have 3 other back-to-back meetings as soon as I get in. And one will be pushed back a bit because of me and my schedule. These are one-on-one feedback meetings, and I need to go “heads down” and focus on my client deliverable for the rest of the day.

There are many emotions going through me lately. I am really happy with my work arrangement, for the first time in years. I feel like I have the balance that I need and that my family needs. My older kids talk about my “home days” and I’m already thinking of the kinds of activities I want to do with the Twins. Things they can’t do at their current daycare. Puzzles, reading, excursions to museums, going to the library, or just rolling around and playing with Mommy. It’s all good. This was a move in the right direction for my life, my happiness, and the experiences for my kids.

Highlights of My Working Day:
It was a good, busy day.

I led 1:1 feedback calls with two members of the 2nd forum I am managing. This is with a separate Director and he found the calls to be extremely valuable, and he personally thanked me for initiating the process. This forum has been running for 20 years and I’m trying to take a different approach where it makes sense to do so and these 1:1s are important to me to make sure we’re providing the right value to the group and also for me to develop relationships with the leaders of the companies.
I [finally] started to devote real time to my client project and develop the thinking into the presentation we will provide to them. I enlisted help of more junior staff to help me fill in the pieces so I think this will go much quicker than I originally planned. Whew!!
I led a team “re-group” where we got together to talk about business proposals, client work, team availability, and learnings as they relate to sales or even the debrief learnings from my 1:1 sessions with our forum clients.
For the rest of the day, I spent more time on the client project, and also had to handle some administrative items, including getting ready for tomorrow – I have another day of back to back meetings; some debrief, some sales. I’m finding that with this new work routine I need to prepare the day before since my days are generally filled with meetings – squashed into 2.5 days.

I am now waiting for my appointment. I am feeling generally very good about things. I feel like my work is headed in the right direction. I’m thinking about the doctor appointments I need to schedule for the kids (and dentist). I feel like I’m getting my routine better coordinated and can go through these weeks with more confidence. I will miss my kids tonight though. I will probably have some time with Big Bro and Red, but not much time. So hugs and kisses and quick conversations about their day will have to suffice for now. My goal will be to connect with each of them and really listen to what they have to tell me – not just quickly say goodnight to them. Maybe I’ll ask each of them if it was good to see their friends today after the long weekend, and what did they specifically do with their friends that made them laugh. I like that.

Till tomorrow –
– Mama K

Filed Under: Daily Journal Tagged With: Christmas tree, part-time work, reduced work week, twins, working mom, working mother

November 17: Too good to be true???

November 17, 2011 by Mama K Leave a Comment

Today was a day home for me, off from work, but working as a Mom for my kids. I had a wonderful, fullfilling day, and am ending it with several glasses of wine with/after dinner. So I’m a bit loopy while writing this.

There was a lot happening today – tickles, clothes changes, stroller rides, water spills, throwing food/toys, playing with puzzles, spilled coffee, running around the house, reading books, and more books, and pointing at the things in the books, and talking about the books, napping, …… below are some of the special moments of the day:

I walked with the Twins along with Big Bro on his scooter to school. He was so excited. The weather was crisp but he still wanted to wear a short sleeve shirt and no jacket. It was beautiful. The trees are turning colors here and there are so many leaves on the ground. The Twins were talking about everything they saw…. dogs, leaves, cars, balls… they are so observant and they really enjoy the stroller rides in the morning. Big Bro was a whiz on his scooter. I kept looking at him scooting ahead of us and just kept thinking about how fast time goes by. I look at his face and I still see aspects of his features from when he was a baby. But here he is. On a scooter. Whizzing by. And swerving. And headed to school. I just can’t believe it. 5 years. So much has happened over these 5 years and now we’ve gone past this one serious baby with a ton of hair to a kid – a kid going to school – with 3 siblings. Twins no less. I just can’t believe it. How fast will the next five years go? Big Bro will be 10!!!! Red will be 8!!!! The Twins almost 7!!!! I honestly cannot even imagine what my life will be like then – it seems so far away and we are not rooted now so who knows where we will be….. so much to look forward to. But I knowt the time will go by quickly.

The biggest look of accomplishment was probably Big Bro rigging up his scooter to the fence with his bike lock and setting the lock so that his scooter would be safe. He was so happy. What a prize that must have been for him after that long ride and bout of exercise!

The Twins and I then strolled home in the crisp air. I loved the walk on the leaves. I loved the stroll with both kids so alert and pointing and talking about things. They are so sweet and I feel like this really is a different experience for them compared to the daycare they receive during the other days of the week.

When at home, we had snacks and played…. but then I saw something that really surprised me. I thought that the little ones were getting into places they shouldn’t…. but now I know the reason why. Twin Crazy has learned how to open doors!!!! She can swiftly open a door while Twin Husky waits, and then they both get themselves into trouble. Partners in crime…./li>

We then went to the beach. We had so much fun there. The kids just explored and played and poured sand and walked around and found treasure and fed seagulls and ate bananas and felt the sun and looked at the water and laughed. There were definitely some special moments during our time there. Twin Crazy sharing her banana with Twin Husky. Both of them feeding the seagulls and almost engulfed in all of the flying wings (with NO poop accidents!!), and also finding a hole that was previously dug and sliding into it and laughing and giggling and then the other sliding into it. I’m not sure who found it first, but the pure joy and laughter and interaction between the two of them was just too amazing to put into words. Both were seriously laughing to the point of their throats getting sore, I’m sure. And there I was, probably 30 feet away and just observing, laughing as loud as they were. It was fantastic. I felt relaxed and breathed in deeply and felt the warm sun on my body and watched my beautiful twins interact in a way that I really don’t understand. I couldn’t have planned a better trip./li>

We then went to lunch at Chipotle. They were both dancing to the music. I overheard people saying that I have “two of them”. They have no clue. We had a great time and the kids were perfectly behaved. Except that Twin Crazy kept trying to steal her brother’s food. I felt very in control at that moment. I was enjoying the kids and did not feel any stress at all. Couples with young kids and especially a child 21 months old can get very stressed especially in restaurant settings. I feel so at ease with these children. I treat them like people and not like babies. They respond so well to that. We had fun together. All of us bouncing our heads to the music. Twin Husky trying my burritto. Twin Crazy drinking her milk to the point of her cheeks getting so filled up like a hampster’s set of cheeks. Too cute. I had a great time with them. They were more than readyt for anap by the time we got home.

After naps we headed back in our stroller to pick up Big Bro. We strolled/scootered back home and then got immediately in the mini-van to pick up Red. Red was in the playground and when she saw me she bounded across the playground and threw herself at me with such force that I almost was swept backwards. She hugged me and laughed with such conviction that I wanted to freeze the time and hold her longer, longer, longer. Her teacher said to her – “see Jessica, you’re mommy DID pick you up early today!!!”. I love being able to do this with both Red and Big Bro. It makes these days special for each of them. We played around in another playground at her school for awhile afterwards – just the four of them – our own private playground. They really enjoyed being reunited and I enjoyed watching them.

I then made a fabulous dinner when all of them were playing in the house. I took breaks to play with them; I also had to take breaks to console them – nighttime can be rough for tired kids. Once Hubby arrived we ate and ate and ate and I drank too much red wine. I will need to drink a gallon of water to save myself tomorrow. I had to do many jumping jacks to get Big Bro and Red to try their pork/meat. Once they tried it they loved it and kept eating it, but I still did like 75 jumping jacks anyway – probably a feeling of needing to get in shape, but also the wine had something to do with it I suppose. Bedtime was great.

So now I’m sitting here on the couch, listening to U2 and feeling the buzz from the great wine I drank too much of. I really had a wonderful day. I need to figure out a way to spend more time with Big Bro and Red. I want to devote Wednesday’s for them, while the Twins are at daycare and after my 1/2 day of work. Maybe I can switch off between the two and do something special, one-on-one for each. It is becoming clear to me that the older ones need more of my time, and that the younger ones need more time with BOOKS. They can’t get enough of them.

And I can’t get enough of days like this.

Til tomorrow –
– Mama K

Filed Under: Daily Journal Tagged With: beach, happiness, stay at home, toddlers, twins, working mom, working mother

November 10: My “first” day as a stay-at-home Mom

November 10, 2011 by Mama K 4 Comments

I feel like today starts a brand new chapter in my life. I stayed at home instead of going to the office, and DID NOT WORK while I was at home. I worked as a Mom. There are so many things going through my mind right now, after the end of this day. Why didn’t I do this sooner? Will the novelty wear off? Will I become a better worker because of this time with my children? How will this affect me professionally? How will this affect me as a person? As a mother? As a woman?

I am now a part-time worker. I’ve committed to working 20 hours per week, for 1/2 of my pay. I will be in the office on Monday and Tuesday, working from home on Wednesday as as a 1/2 day. This gives me quite a lot of time with my kids. The plan now is for me to have the Twins on Thursday and Fridays; and I will have the flexibility to “steal” any of the kids early on Wednesday, as well as Big Bro and Red on Thursday and Fridays as well. Its up to me. It depends on how I feel I’ve connected with each of the kids and if I think a particular child needs more of me. I will have flexibility with the Twins’ current daycare provider to bring them in on Thursday or Friday if I need to.

From a work perspective, I need to be in the office for two days so I can still be in front of the staff and be part of leadership of the office. I will still coordinate and manage some of our forums, but I am still expected to sell consulting projects and continue to develop/cultivate client relationships. In terms of project delivery, I will serve more of an “advisor” or “director” type role, but for some projects I may have to do some more heavy lifting depending upon our pipeline and workload of our team. We are going to see how this arrangement works over the next few weeks and re-adjust if needed.

So how did my first day go? There were lots of kisses, hugs, conflict resolution, cooking, playing, tears (not me thank goodness), running, laughing, puzzles, hide and seek, diapering, playing outside and pointing to trees, sneezes, little hands pulling at my legs, cutting fingernails, snacks and holding cups with two hands, coloring, reading, chasing, sleeping, and cleaning. Some aspects of my day were magical. Here are some of the more special moments:

I woke up to Red in our bed, singing to herself (or to an imaginary friend?) the ABCs, and then asking him/her if they knew the ABCs, and then her singing softly again. Her voice is like an angel. The way she sings is so sweet. The way she uses inflection when she asks her questions like a little mommy is just too sweet. I really need to capture this on video.

I dropped of Big Bro with all of the kids in tow. We parked the van and together crossed the street all holding hands. Once we got to the line I think Big Bro got a bit embarrassed so he came up to me and said that it was time for me to leave. My heart. He always gets a bit anxious when his school and family worlds collide – and I think his gaggle of siblings was a bit much for him. So I honored his request and we walked to the car.

I walked to the car with the kids slowly. I was holding Twin Crazy’s hand, and Twin Husky’s hand. Red had Twin Husky’s other hand. We walked slowly. We took our time. There was no rush. We took the crosswalk. I explained the concept of a cross walk to them. I looked up to the sky as I walked with these little hands in my own and I took deep, deep breaths as we walked along. I couldn’t help but smile. My babies are with me. I am not rushing for anybody or anything. We are together. I made a game out of the walk, stopping at each car parked along the road and asking “Is THIS our car??”, and the kids would say “Nooooooooooooo.” After two or three times they understood that I was joking and they all started laughing. We did this for 8 or so cars until we found ours. The kids all listened well, held hands, held still on the sidewalk as I was getting kids inside. I can handle this on my own. I felt strong and liberated at that moment.

At snacktime, Twin Crazy and Twin Husky each sat at their little table with their feet hanging down. I sat on the floor next to them, talking to them. Grabbing their feet. Commending them on their ability to drink from a REAL cup with both hands. At one point Twin Husky and I grabbed eye contact and he would not look away. I just sat there staring into his eyes. He still would not look away. He had a big grin on his face. He reached out and touched my eye, my nose. He smiled and laughed under his breath and leaned forward with his head so that his forehead touched mine. I thought this was so sweet. How this interaction happened between us without any words. Just loving looks, and gestures. I couldn’t help but cup his face in my hands and kiss the top of his head. It was a great moment between us.

At about 10 AM both seemed a bit tired; I picked up Twin Husky and he immediately put his head down on my shoulder and his little strong arms engulfed me – his little hands grasping at my shoulders and shirt – holding tight. Cuddling in deep into my body. I swayed with him to the music for about 10 minutes, holding his head and neck like he was an infant, feeling the weight of his body on mine, feeling his cheek against mine, feeling him breathe. After 10 minutes of that he started to struggle away and was ready to play again.

When they were going down for their naps, I heard them playing and laughing and cracking up. They do this on weekends too but usually we are also dealing with the other kids so I never really stop to listen. This day I had the opportunity to listen to these twins. How they talk to each other. How they interact and crack each other up. How they misbehave by not going to sleep. I opened the door and both were standing up and immediately dove down into their individual cribs. It was too funny. I also caught a movie of it but am having trouble uploading it to this site.

After their naps I could tell that each was having a hard time and were not waking up easily – they did not seem refreshed. So I carried them downstairs and sat with each of them on my lap on a big leather rocking chair and cuddled with each of them, rocking back and forth, not saying a thing. I don’t think I’ve ever done this with both of them. It was awesome.

In the afternoon I gave them some juice and after 5 minutes both of them were running around and I was chasing them and crawling after them and they were hiding and cracking up. It was so much fun. I would kiss their bellies after “getting” them and they would let me and then run away laughing. This went on for 15 minutes or so and I was exhausted afterwards from laughing and chasing.

There was so much more that happened during the day – and cute things that happened with Big Bro and Red too, but for now I just want to capture the more magical moments – those that were new to me, or those that just touched me in some way.

It was a great day.

Tomorrow is Veteran’s Day and schools are closed. I’m planning on bringing all of them into the city, stopping by work to say hi, and maybe taking them to a museum. We’ll see how it goes. I’m looking forward to it.

Til tomorrow –
– Mama K

Filed Under: Daily Journal Tagged With: children, fun, joy, part-time work, special moments, twins, working mom, working mother

November 8: So much happening!

November 8, 2011 by Mama K 2 Comments

Chocolate Tuesday! That meant that Big Bro was up and ready. We woke up to all of the kids up at the same time.

Highlights of the Morning and Commute:

I gave big hugs and kisses to everyone in the morning. This is a little thing that I do without fail, for each of them, every day. I even used to sing a song for it, but now with so many kids it would take too long….

At one point in the morning before I got into the shower, I looked at the kids and it was the funniest thing. They were all standing shoulder to shoulder, just watching me as I got my things together to get ready to get to the shower. It was so strange yet so cute. 8 big eyeballs focused on my every movement. I felt like I was on stage. I thought a perfect picture opportunity but by the time I got the camera the older ones (wiser) were out of there and I only had the Twins left in position.

Breakfast was great for all; Chocolate Tuesdays are always a bit easier than the other days. Twin Crazy was already dressed but she had oatmeal all down herself. She is getting very particular about being dirty, especially her hands. So she was reasonably upset. I gathered another set of clothes for her and got her changed when she was ready.

I gathered clothes for Big Bro and Red and had such a hard time getting them dressed. They kept rejecting the outfits. I know we have better luck when they pick out their clothes, but we will need to do this the night before just for logistics. I’ll try that tonight. Get them to pick out their stuff and I’ll have everything ready downstairs for the next morning.

We were running a bit late so we divided the drop offs. Hubby did Big Bro and the Twins. I dropped off Red. We took our time. I had a alot of extra hairbands on my wrist so I had her pick out her hairband for today and also she wanted extras to be kept at school. We wet her hair in her school bathroom and she showed me all of the pottys. And the wall where you line up and wait. She had fun showing me these things. I wet her hair and then I sat her down and took my time putting her hair into a pony-tail. Probably too much time. But I enjoyed this time with her. She then picked out the hairband for me to wear today. She gave me lots of hugs on my way out. I told her I wanted to “bottle them up”. She wouldn’t stop. I then suggested she give her teacher some hugs. That was a good transition for me to leave her room.

Her school is closed this Friday so I am looking forward to spending more time with her. I will take the day off if my reduced work-week is not approved by then.

Now I’m on the ferry, the sun is out but it is cold. I feel like I had sufficient time with Red today but felt rushed with the rest. I feel a bit empty on those mornings when I do not connect with each of them in some special way. I helped Twin Crazy get clean, and joked with Big Bro about how he doesn’t want to kiss or hug me in front of his friends, but poor Twin Husky was a bit out of my reach this morning. I helped him when his leg get stuck in a chair but that was basically it. I’ll want to spend extra time with him tonight.

For work today, I have several meetings set up but I don’t remember what they are for. I will also need to start on project work, and I really need to close up loose ends with the meetings that just passed. It should be a busy day.

HIghlights of My Working Day:
OMG so much happened today that I am really not sure where to begin. I just walked onto the ferry for home with the biggest smile on my face.

I had a quick meeting today to plan for a client project that I will be delivering. We talked about potential sources of information and people in the industry that we need to talk to, to get the information we need to complete the project. My colleague also found an AMAZING source document that will be the basis from which to start the work. I was drooling over it. It was the kind of thing that I want to close my door and read and immediately create the working documents that will serve as our deliverable. It was terrific. I will have fun with this project.

I also lead a team meeting for a firm initiative that we are partnering with; essentially we need to rethink our approach to our service offering based upon conversations we’ve (I’ve) had with potential members/clients. We need to think through the target audience and also clearly define how our offering will be different from others based upon our new thinking of approach. I put myself on the line to modify our sales materials and distribute to the team so that we can secure more clients to participate in the effort. It was another successful call and I feel hopeful for this initiative. It would involve more meeting planning and travel – but more client facing and relationship building, which I am excited about. I would also get credit for the sales initiative and developing a service offering from scratch.

I spent some time looking through a “Request for Proposal” and thinking through our firm’s questions for clarification, which are due on Thursday. The Director has asked me to consolidate the questions and send off to the client by due date — so he is pointing to me to lead the client management for this proposal.

I had a discussion with two Directors about my proposal for reduced workweek. Both support what I want to do, but both raise risks/concerns about me being out of sight out of mind. They therefore want me to be in the office for 2 of the 3 working days. They also want me to continue being aggressive with sales – this will be important for my personal development as well as the growth of the office. They see me as part of our office/firm leadership and they want me to make sure that I am aggressive and use my time wisely to be client facing and team facing. They don’t want me to back down on my approach to sales. They think I have what it takes play a bigger role in office management – even with the reduction in work week! I am so psyched about how things are working out for me – they definitely value my contribution and they NEED ME and WANT ME to stay, to continue to grow, and continue to work with our clients to build a strong management presence in our office. So happy. Really. So happy.

So I am on the ferry now with a huge weight lifted off of my chest. This has been a long time coming. My company has been so patient with me. I have devoted 8 1/2 years to them and had to prove myself in different ways but also prove that I am VALUED, versatile, and willing to work together as a team to think through a working arrangement that will benefit me, my family, my children, and the company. I FEEL LIKE CELEBRATING!!!!!!!!!!

Hoooo-hummm. But now what do I do for dinner?!?!?!? My poor kiddos. I’ll get better at this, really. What do I do with my Twins this Thursday and Friday?!??!?!?! The zoo, visit to the city, aquarium, hmmmmmm – the possibilities are ENDLESS.

Dinner and Bedtime:

I picked up Red first and for some reason she burst into tears. She must have had a hard day for some reason. The teachers couldn’t really explain it. Then was the pick up for Big Bro and the Twins.

I cooked a REALLY quick dinner of mac-n-cheese, frozen peas, and frozen shrimp. Big Bro made “name tags” for the family and set them at the table where each person would sit. Red helped mix the cheese powder with milk. Twin Crazy was busy drinking (and spilling) water out of a cup. Twin Husky was playing with a pot and had some water in it so he felt like he was cooking too. Before you knew it, the dinner was ready and the kids were done eating at 6:15!!!

Afterwards we colored (Twins!), did puzzles, ran around with soccer balls, danced, and drank chocolate milk.

The Twins love brushing their teeth.

Red got upset that I forgot to give her a second half of a banana. My heart broke because of HOW she said it. The anguish in her voice and her face just broke my heart. I had to explain to her that I forgot to give her the other half of the banana — it wasn’t HER, it was ME. I forgot by accident, not on purpose, and that I was so sorry. I held her in the kitchen as she ate a banana and she looked at me with such a smile on her face. I wanted that moment to last so I was slow as I walked her up the stairs.

Now I’m on the couch thinking back on the day, thinking about tomorrow (I will be quite busy), and also thinking about Thursday and Friday — what to do with the kids?!?!?!?! I’m excited.

Til tomorrow –
– Mama K

Filed Under: Daily Journal Tagged With: children, meetings, part-time work, proposal, selling, twins, working mom, working mother

October 28: Rockin’ out with my babes

October 28, 2011 by Mama K Leave a Comment

Today is my rebound day! I was going to work from home because of my committment to volunteer for Big Bro’s lunch, but since that is not a good idea anymore (he gets too anxious), I decided to pull myself AWAY from the sterile house and get my butt back into the office where it belongs.

Highlights of the Morning and Commute:

All kids woke up happy. That is usually not the case. For some reason, they ALL walked into our room together this morning. That means that SOMEHOW Big Bro pulled each of the Twins out of their crib. Hmmmm. Not sure if this is such a good idea. I envision trips to the ER with broken bones at some point. Twin Husky has been mentioning that he wants a bed and always spends time in Big Bro’s and Red’s when given an opportunity…. maybe it’s time for toddler beds? Or maybe just enforce a rule that Big Bro and Red cannot go into their room in the morning? It is just a matter of time until Twin Husky scales his way out of the crib. He is so wiry. So feisty in terms of his physical body. And so STRONG!!!! I think toddler beds are the best bet.
Twin Crazy was eating so much oatmeal that Hubby took off her PJ’s since it was cascading down her body. When I saw her, she was only in a diaper but still covered in oatmeal. Poor thing. Can you imagine that feeling? I cleaned her off but for some reason she was more concerned about cleaning her hands than anything else. She is really fixated on clean hands lately. I remember the same thing with Red. Maybe its a girl thing.
Twin Husky just kept saying “Mommy” as he was eating his cereal. I quietly walked over to him and kissed his cheek as he was eating his cereal and he let out this deep, quiet, laugh.
Red and Big Bro were busy eating; I gathered their clothes. We really had to rush this morning.
Hubby dropped of Red and I dropped of Twins and Big Bro. Big Bro’s teacher told me how he recited a Halloween poem ALL BY HIMSELF IN THE FRONT OF THE ROOM yesterday. I am so proud of him. This is one step closer to self-confidence that will hopefully eliminate his anxiety in bigger crowds. I think. I hope. Anyway, I am so proud of him and I’ve let him know that. Applauding his effort in knowing the words so well and being so brave to recite it to the class.

Big Bro and Red will be leaving with Hubby on a Halloween trip to Yosemite this weekend. I will miss the older kids. But I will have the Twins to myself this weekend.

Today at work I have to do some thinking of my role, I will also work on a business development proposal, and get my expenses in.

Highlights of My Working Day:

I was busy at work so I am soooooo glad that I went in today. I helped some colleagues with ideas on powerpoint visuals (a strength of mine, I believe), I had a follow up call with a client to get feedback from our last meeting and ideas for the next, and also worked on a proposal for strategy work resulting from our last big meeting.
I had a lot of interaction with people, laughed a bit, felt productive, and energized.

So pointers to depressed mamas who are working at home: GET OUTSIDE AND INTERACT WITH PEOPLE!!!!!!! I’m glad I made the choice to get to the office.

I am on the ferry now and headed back to see the Twins. Big Bro and Red are off with Hubby for the weekend. What to do with Twins all weekend by myself??? I like that being my only question for myself this weekend!

Dinner and Bedtime:

It was a great evening. I made a quick dinner for the Twins and they ate at their small kitchen table together. We talked about what they were eating.
After dinner I danced around with them a bit. They loved it. Twin Crazy completely rocked out. Twin Husky also was having a good time.

My little two rocking out to U2

We took a dancing break and had some applesauce. I caught both of them still knocking their heads around and rocking out to the music. Sooooooooooo cute. I guess they like U2.
Time just passed and then we did milk and books. They were ready for bed and laughed and held hands and smiled at each other as I was holding Twin Husky above Twin Crazy’s crib. It’s a “twin thing”.

I’m now alone on a Friday night solo and loving it. I’m thinking about what to do. I suddenly have energy. I might work on this a bit or maybe read a magazine or maybe watch a movie…. or maybe sew some pants that I recently bought. I never thought these kinds of things would EVER appeal to me on a Friday night but sadly they do. But I’m in a great mood – so take it for what it is!

Have a great weekend everyone –

Til Monday,

– Mama K

Filed Under: Daily Journal Tagged With: dancing, depression, twins, U2, working mom, working mother

September 29: Dazed and confused

September 30, 2011 by Mama K Leave a Comment

This morning was unusual in that Hubby had to leave early for a meeting; so he had to also bring Red with him on the earlier side. This isn’t really much of a problem though since she is usually the first one up anyway.

Highlights of the Morning and Commute:

Red and Big Bro are up, lounging in their beds. They set out clothes the night before so changes were fast. Big Bro asks me if I will be volunteering in his class today. I say to him that I filled out ALL the paperwork for me to volunteer, and they are asking parents of his class to do lunchroom duty for the month of October. I picked 4 days to do this for him (including Halloween — I will have a blast with this). I also mentioned to him that I will talk to his teacher about other ways I can help in his classroom. I will likely be working from home going forward so this will be completely doable for me. He is psyched. I tell Red that I will have the same conversations with her teachers if she wants me to volunteer in her class too. She does. So it will be done!!!
I go to the Twins’ room – and they are just waking up. Twin Husky jumps up immediately and wants to get out of the crib to start his day. Twin Crazy generally prefers to sleep later so she takes some time to roll around, look around, and then get up.
Twin Crazy seems cranky. I look down at her pajamas and her poor little legs can’t extend the full way. They are too small! I take them off and talk to her about it and as soon as I get them off of her she is smiling and looking at me like I saved the day. Cute!
Red decides to switch out of the dress she had on; I ask Twin Crazy if she would want to wear that dress. Everything is cool. So I put the dress on Twin Crazy and she looks so sweet, so demure – I ask her to show Hubby and her cute little face looking up at him asking for his response back was so adorable.
I go downstairs with the kids and everything generally went smooth. REd was ready for the earlier departure. Big Bro was fast with breakfast and very quick at getting changed.
The 3 kids were great getting into the van. Big Bro was busy holding his lunchbox and his folder with all the paperwork I completed the night before.
Quick drop off for the Twins. I hugged them extra long today.
Drop off for Big Bro was great. He was psyched about his folder of paperwork. His teacher gave him a high-five. She also appreciated my offer to help her in any way that she needs.

So now I’m on the ferry. It is gray outside. I also feel grey inside. I’m hurting and upset about a life that I feel is so out of reach for me and my children.

Work today will be very busy. I still have some last movements in one agenda, and I still have many presentations yet to receive. I will probably get them at the end of the day and will need to review and provide feedback over the weekend. On one hand I am very excited about being away for a week; but on the other the thought of being away from my kids is heartbreaking to me. I need to get over that feeling.

Highlights of my Working Day:

As expected, I was extremely busy finalizing an agenda, sending info out to attendees, reviewing presentations, providing feedback, etc. etc. I feel like I’m doing things that are needed to be done but feel like I have four left feet. It’s all a bit confusing thinking through all of the play-by-play details and I feel like I’m missing a alot…. I’m a bit confused and trying to get my act together, but falling behind.
We had a planning call with one of the Directors who will be attending one of the forums with me, to get him up to speed on the people there, the content to be discussed, and how our company provides value to the audience.
I also had a planning call for a separate forum — it looks like the potential speaker has content that actually looks and feels like competing content that we provide…. ugggh. So now I either stick to an agenda with 3 speakers or I need to find another…. I’ll need to worry about that later.
HOWEVER THERE IS STILL A LOT MORE TO DO!!!!!!!!!!!! Do I work on it tonight after the kids go to bed? Or do I do it over the weekend? My preference would be to knock it out tonight but I am so drained, for so many reasons.
On the commute home via Ferry I talked with a neighbor – a family who lives behind us with FOUR kids and also a set of Twins! We were commiserating; I don’t feel as alone. We promised to get our families together after all 8 of our kids are asleep. That way we can drink and get to know each other better. Funny – it’s been over a year and its taken us that long to connect. People are just so busy out here in a big city to stop what they do and take in the surroundings; I feel like the sense of community is lacking, making it harder to expand beyond our own little part of the world.

Dinner and Bedtime:

Hubby is not going to make it home this evening; he’s spending time with his brother and sister-in-law who is ready to give birth any day now. So I am with the kids solo – I know I can handle it. In fact, I revel in it.
I picked up Big Bro and spent some time with him at after-care since he was in the middle of a “pom-pom” project. I thought it was really interesting and SO EASY to make little pom-poms. I’ll try to replicate it someday and then send out the instructions to the group. I also wanted to go slow with pick up — mommy-time is on my mind for each of these kids.
We picked up Red – she was outside with this HUGE floppy pink hat on, looking absolutely adorable. She immediately reports on the amount of lunch she ate that day.
We decide to go grab take-out food for dinner. So we drive to our favorite BBQ place to pick up food, and then we pick up the Twins. Twin Husky is upset because he wants to get in the front seat to drive the car.
At home, I get kids organized with eating right away. Twin Husky is still in the van playing with the steering wheel. I finally get all kids at the table eating.
After dinner Big Bro starts a movie (Friday nights are movie nights) and I play with Red (flying airplanes and general rough-housing) to the point of feeling sick. I’m not sure if its the rough-housing or the stress I’m under.
Twin Crazy is busy wiping her mouth with a little napkin I gave her at dinner. This was the first time I’ve given them napkins and she was so cute – she’d take a sip of milk, and then wipe her face. Take another sip of milk, and wipe her face. I was laughing and encouraging her cleanliness. She also did some airplanes on me but got a little scared so went back to cleaning her face.
We all make it to the living room to be with Big Bro. I get the Twins changed in PJs. Twin Husky stands on the coffee table. Twin Crazy is cleaning her face, and now also her feet. Twin Husky is also brushing his teeth.

Four kids mesmerized by Toy Story

I bring up the Twins first — we read a picture book together. It is amazing how intense Twin Husky is with this picture book. He MUST point to everything to understand what it is and he repeats EVERYTHING extremely well – he is very understandable. Twin Crazy however still is very vocal but mumbles everything…. but she is trying. I encourage both and give them lots of hugs and kisses for reinforcement. We sing and then they are ready for sleep. They say “night night” and I also hear some “I love you”s — -I just can’t get over it. Hearing that from them is a pinnacle moment. I remember when I first learned I was having twins, seeing their two little spots and heartbeats, and feeling terrified and wondering how were we ever going to do this??!?!?!?!??!?! And now these children are children…. they are speaking in words… they are active…. they are eager to learn…. and they are so affectionate; and the “I love you”s are beginning for them. I really am so proud of them and feel lucky to have them in my life.
I head downstairs for some mommy-time with Red and Big Bro. The three of us sit together on the couch bundled under a blanket, watching Toy Story and laughing at the funny parts. By the time we head upstairs it is late; so I only read a FAST book and then they are both out.

Today was a day of ups and downs. Parts of the day just left me dazed and confused. It makes me want to just go to sleep. But now I need to work. So, let me go at it so I can enjoy the rest of my weekend.

Happy weekend to all –

– Mama K

Filed Under: Daily Journal Tagged With: community, mommy time, neighbor, Toy Story, twins, working mom, working mother

April 12: The never-ending day

April 3: Big Brother and his sisters’ tears

March 19: Power Day! No, roller coaster day….

Staying Sane: Celebrate

November 28: Getting back to the “normal” routine

November 17: Too good to be true???

November 10: My “first” day as a stay-at-home Mom

November 8: So much happening!

October 28: Rockin’ out with my babes

September 29: Dazed and confused

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