working mom – Mama In Motion™

May 8: Sometimes you try so hard and it just doesn’t matter

May 8, 2012 by Mama K Leave a Comment

It is the end of the day and I can’t even begin to explain the complexities of my day today. I was working, running, picking up messes, delivering client presentations, baking cupcakes, wiping butts, … …. …. and sometimes you work so hard and it just doesn’t matter.

Highlights of the Morning and Commute:

Chocolate Tuesday. Kids ate great; the morning was uneventful with the exception of some good bonding time between Red and Batman. Twins were in great moods and probably supercharged from the sugar.

Big Bro and Red both got dressed quickly and we were all out the door without a problem. Big Bro woke up to a Spiderman helium balloon that I tied to his bed the night before. I do that for each of the kids on the mornings of their birthdays.

However…. the Twins’ daycare provider could not take them today because of a funeral. And I STILL did not have back-up care lined up with the exception of a neighbor and I hated to impose like that… so I dropped Red off and came back with the Twins, hoping I could find the solution

I immediately looked for their immunization records which was needed by Red’s daycare to have them come in on a drop-in basis. Great news…. I found them no problem. Bad news… I left a message for them in the AM but they didn’t get back to me until 10 AM and by that point the festivities (tragedies) of the day were already in full swing…

We played with Batman for a bit. Twin Crazy had fun holding him.

Twin Husky showed me his “work” from the other day – a card that he was drawing on. I overheard the twins talking about it with each other and Twin Husky asking Twin Crazy to sit with him. They were so cute. I got them set up with paper and markers for “their work” so that I could begin my working day too….

Highlights of My Working Day:

I had one conference call at 9 AM which I was able to muddle through most of the time on mute. But there were still some Twin talk in the background so I’m sure I didn’t get away scot-free.

It was the call at 9:30 that was the serious problem. I mean, a HORRENDOUS problem. It was a team meeting for a joint sales presentation we are delivering next week. Essentially I am organizing it and I’m a bit stressed at the lack of participation from our business partner and also their lack of understanding of what we are trying to do. I am very protective now of the business development efforts we do and am hesitant to bring in partners, for concern over their own motivations and using our client relationships…. anyway…. i digress. At one point in the conversation the Twins really started to get crazy. And I was leading this call. There was no way to go on mute. So I simply went outside in the yard to finish the conversation. It was literally only 10 – 15 minutes of outside talk time. Having twins does not simply double the trouble. No way. Because they team up with each other. They work together to elevate the trouble to an entirely different level. Within the 10 – 15 minutes, they (one of them) brought their little chair over to the refrigerator, and began to empty the entire ice dispenser out all over the kitchen floor. Then, they (someone) started with the water spout from the refrigerator. Then, twin Husky started filling up water cups and when I came in he was in the process of dumping the entire cup all over Twin Crazy’s head. So of course that erupted into wails. I quickly walked outside to finish the call, albeit in shock. In two minutes I was back inside, waddling through a sea of ice-water in the kitchen and dealing with two wailing Twins who were freezing cold. It was at this point that Red’s daycare called me back and said they had room. I asked when can I bring them over and they said “as soon as you can so they can transition”. THANK YOU GOD.

I gathered their things and told them what was happening. They know Red’s school well – I bring them there all the time to either pick her up or drop her off. So they were excited that THEY were going to school. To play with friends. To play outside. To color. To sing. To read books. To eat. To go night-night. We packed up their blankets, Twin Crazy’s lovey, Twin Husky’s Tiger. Changes of clothes. The class was in the yard when we got there. We got to see Red. The Twins fell right into the outside routine with all of the kids. I was impressed. Twin Crazy just went off and explored and started to play with a tricycle. Twin Husky was investigating a play structure. Twin Crazy was smiling ear to ear. And then squealing with Red, who was looking over the fence with her friends. Twin Husky was clingy when it was time for me to go. I asked Twin Crazy if she was OK and if it was OK if I go while she played at school, and she said “yeah” without a problem. No tears from that one. It got me a bit down seeing them in that environment. I really don’t think the daycare where they are now is good for them at this stage in their development. They need to be with other kids besides themselves.

I ran home and had enough time to bake 24 cupcakes for Big Bro during his aftercare class. I was running short on time but I needed to do this for him since it was his birthday and he was expecting the cupcakes. I guess someone else would have been preparing for the client meeting – but I was focused on those cupcakes for my child. You only turn 6 once, and he is at an age where he remembers these things.

I got myself ready in record time – big client presentation for my client project

I dropped off the cupcakes but the aftercare door was locked. I went into the kitchen of the school and left them with someone with specific instructions about the aftercare building and Big Bro’s name. She said for me not to worry he would get them.

I hauled ass to my client meeting. Stopped at Trader Joe’s for a salad.

We had the meeting. It went well. I made the mistake of mentioning to my Director on the team that I might have to leave early. He rolled his eyes. After the meeting he mentioned that I seemed distracted. Hmmmm. Maybe a divorce underway? Home purchase? Children in a daycare center that is brand new to them? Me rushing all around this morning not even knowing if I was going to make it to the meeting? My kid’s birthday? Wondering if the cupcakes got to him OK? Thinking about the flood in my kitchen that happened not even 4 hours ago? Distracted? OF COURSE I’M DISTRACTED!!!!!!!!!!!! So it doesn’t matter that I bust ass to try to get this work done, even though I tell them that it is virtually impossible for me to do client projects….. I got there. I presented well. I was confident. I didn’t even look at the deck before presenting. These things just don’t bother me. I was there. I made it. But it didn’t matter. I was “distracted”.

Dinner and Bedtime:

I got home in enough time to change cars to the mini-van and also buy gas. Then went straight to daycare to pick up the Twins and Red. They were so cute sitting at the table having a snack. The teachers said they had a great time, no tears. They stayed close to each other most of the day. But they had fun. I loved seeing them there. They said goodbye to everyone on their way out.

We picked up Red and she was excited to see us.

We then picked up Big Bro. I asked him about the cupcakes. He said there weren’t any cupcakes. I asked the workers about the cupcakes. They said there weren’t any cupcakes. WHAT?!??!?!?!?!?!?!??!?! You mean I bust my ass to get these here and there ARE NO CUPCAKES?????? It’s not even the wasted effort or the rushing that pissed me off… it was that I disappointed Big Bro. He was expecting cupcakes at aftercare. And we talked about it. And they didn’t get to him. I felt like a failure. I felt like I disappointed him. I was probably more disappointed than he was, but I still can’t believe it.

He rode his bike home. I asked him to think about what he wanted for dinner. He wanted mac-n-cheese (boxed kind) but with two additional pasta shapes added to it. I add real cheddar cheese to this. So he picked out the shapes.

As the water was starting to boil, we went in to cuddle with Batman. The kids are holding him and he is getting to know us. We were all there except for Twin Husky. Big Bro decided to go to the kitchen to start on the cheese mix and he ran back into the room saying “Mommy… something REALLY bad happened in the kitchen… you’re not going to like it……”. I was immediately worried about Twin Husky….

The floor was flooded AGAIN. Twin Husky was no-where to be found. Big Bro found him upstairs hiding in Big Bro’s bed.

Dinner went great; we all ate everything

3 saved cupcakes split between 4 kids along with ice-cream went great. We all sang happy birthday.

Presents went great – we received boxes from my mom and dad for Big Bro to open; Big Bro got some clothes and FOUR lego sets having to do with superheros.

After dinner Big Bro worked on Legos. Red held Batman. Twins were acting crazy.

I started on Twins bedtime routine and did lots of kissing with them and talking about school. They were both tired.

Downstairs I worked with Big Bro on the Lego sets and picked out the pieces for him as he followed the directions.

They are both drifting to sleep now as I type this outside of their rooms. I had a very busy, hectic, crazy extreme day. Lots of kid-time, but lots of disasters. Flooded kitchens, crazy conference calls, last-minute back up child care, a child’s birthday, missing cupcakes, and a Director that doesn’t understand what it is like to be a mother consultant of four small kids that is going through a divorce AND buying a house and thinking about cupcakes and what to do tonight to make her son’s birthday special. He just doesn’t get it. I was THERE at the meeting and in the end it doesn’t matter. I will hear about how I was distracted.

At least the kids were all happy today. At least Batman is beginning to trust our family. At least the closing on the house looks promising for tomorrow. And at least we are all breathing, and living, and with each other in this moment. And at least Big Bro had a great birthday, from what I can tell.

Til tomorrow –
– Mama K

Filed Under: Daily Journal Tagged With: birthday, client meeting, conference call, daycare, distraction, divorce, Legos, parenting, twins, working mom, working mother

May 7: The Signing

May 7, 2012 by Mama K 1 Comment

Monday morning and I am solo with the kids, and Batman, our new guinea pig.

Highlights of the Morning:

I woke up prompty at 6:30 AM, no snooze, and rushed to the shower to get myself ready before the kids woke up.

Big Bro’s lunch was made in 1 min. I had the bowls out for cereal for 3 of the 4 kids. I folded laundry that co-parent didn’t get to so that Red and Big Bro had some favorites to wear. Ran upstairs with Red and Big Bro clothes and got to the Twins.

Red had some issues picking clothes and I had to wait with her so I was getting anxious.

Big Bro already disappeared downstairs to take care of Batman. He was in the middle of cleaning out its poops when he had to pee, so ran to the bathroom but LEFT BATMAN’S CAGE DOOR OPEN. I arrived to my room noticing this and was SCARED when I saw the door open but then RELIVED when I saw the cute little thing hopping around inside.

Big Bro was very good taking care of him. He already filled up the food bowl, gave him more hay, cleaned out the poop, and replensihed some bedding without me even asking. He was also proud that when he reached inside, Batman let him pet him. He looked up at me with big smile of pride and I told him he’s doing great with his new pet.

The rest of the kids came scrambling in, loud, but then calmed down when I asked them to. We can’t scare Batman. We need to speak softly. And let him get used to our smells and our voices. He needs time to learn to trust us and that we are being good to him and will not hurt him. Red took a turn with some poops and that was great.

Kids ate well. Dressed quickly. Big Bro was off on Motley Crew bike trip. Monday he is the leader.

Red had some issues with socks. Twin Husky got into her bag of nail polish. Twin Crazy briefly lost her pink blanket lovey but all was fixed in the end.

I had plenty of time to drop off the Twins and also Red. She was excited about bringing in her new baby doll from her birthday party and also telling her class about Batman.

I’m on the ferry now and will have a very busy day. One client project that we are ending tomorrow so will need to pull that together. Plus another big meeting next week that I need to pull materials together for. Plus lots going on the with divorce. And with the house – will be signing documents today or tomorrow. So, I feel like there is just too much going on. But strangely I feel relaxed without co-parent being in the house with me. He is out of town for a week. Will be missing Big Bro’s birthday, which is tomorrow.

Highlights of My Working Day:

Gathered my team and set up in the conference room to work together. Received feedback of workproduct from Director; had a conversation with him and then sent the work to the client.

I started to assemble the presentation for the client presentation for tomorrow, including executive summary and storyline.

I also started working on presentation and meeting materials for our initiative conference call scheduled for May 15.

Took the team out to lunch – it was take-away for back at the conference room, but efforts like that shows the team the appreciation for the hard work and is so simple and cost-effective in the long run. A bit of thanks goes a long way.

I am on the ferry now and am thinking about all there is to do, still yet today. I need to find a replacement babysitter for tomorrow, buy a helium balloon for Big Bro, possibly bake cupcakes for his aftercare for tomorrow, work on initiative materials for a planning call for tomorrow, and also review the client presentation that will be sent to the client tonight so they get it first thing in the AM.

Plus, there is a lot of stuff I need to do on the divorce front. Everything is hitting at once and I am so pissed off at what transpired last week.

I’m looking forward to seeing the kids and strangely enough, seeing Batman.

Dinner and Bedtime:

After getting off the ferry I ran straight to the store to get a helium balloon for Big Bro; I ran home, hid it in my closet, and also checked on Batman. He was fine. Looked like he ate during the day, and there were lots of poops for the kids to attend to when they got home.

I picked up Red, then the Twins. Their daycare provider has a funeral to go to tomorrow so I am stuck. The person was a 38 year-old mother of three…. she died after a 2 year battle with cancer, brain cancer. It kindof just stopped me in my tracks.

We went to pick up Big Bro and he wanted to ride his bike back. He went the lagoon route and we stopped along the way and waited so that he would beat us there.

At home the kids were busy tending to Batman. They took turns picking up poop. I think Big Bro replenished the bedding, hay, and food. Batman lets Big Bro reach in and pet him. And he also lets Red. They are so cute with him.

There were a lot of mis-haps during dinner prep. I don’t understand it. Twin Crazy decided to squat in my room and start a poop. I’m glad I got to her early because it turned into quite a messy one after we got her to the potty. She peed on the corner of my computer bag. Twin Husky and Twin Crazy were upstairs playing with water all over the bathroom. Red was crying, naked, on the floor, saying that Twin Crazy and Twin Husky were laughing at her.

I finally got everyone down to dinner and it essentially was a failure.

Afterwards I set Big Bro up to watch some Olivia T.V. and I gave the Twins and Red baths.

I was racing to get everyone to sleep by 8 PM since I had my loan signing – but Twin Husky for some reason did not want me to go. I was saying I had to work and I think he thought I was going away for work. He was screaming his head off and clinging to me and telling me not to go…. poor thing. So I brought him down with me. So of course Big Bro and Red were at the top of the stairs slowly coming down. Then Twin Crazy knew that her brother wasn’t there and heard that Big Bro and Red were coming down so then she started to scream to come down too. So I got her. Twins on my lap, Big Bro and Red beside me. I asked the guy NOT to use the word “house” since the kids do not know yet. He was excellent. So it appeared to the kids that I was just working on papers and signing things that meant nothing to them. I asked Big Bro to take pictures and even the notary too. When I saw the Deed of Trust I almost started to cry. I told him this was my first time and I am 42. He said, you’re very first??!?!?!?! I said yes…. pitifully. And that I was doing it for “them”.

Afterwards we did our bedtime routine. We read to the Twins, and both Big Bro and Red asked for short books because they were tired.

I went downstairs and cleaned up a bit, and also held Batman. He is so cute. I want him to feel at home and not feel scared. It will take time.

So now I’m in the hallway finishing this up while Big Bro and Red go to sleep. I am looking forward to being in the smaller house where we will all be together. I hope that they feel safe and secure in that house. I’m looking forward to making it a home for them.

I have a lot to do tonight…. I have to review a client presentation, I have to organize materials for a conference call tomorrow, and also have a number of divorce-related documents to finish up. I also have to remember to tie Big Bro’s balloon to his bed for his big day tomorrow. He will be six.

Til tomorrow –
– Mama K

Filed Under: Daily Journal Tagged With: client presentation, guinea pig, home, house, meetings, parenting, working mom, working mother

Staying Sane: Celebrate!

May 6, 2012 by Mama K 1 Comment

It was Red’s birthday over the weekend and Big Bro has one coming up this week; so we had a joint-birthday celebration for the two of them over the weekend.

I’ve always been excited about birthdays. It really is a momentous time, and not just about a cake and a gift. Its the celebration of someone’s life. It’s about showing that you care about that person – that you see that person – and that they are special to you and they mean something to you. And that hopefully you are a better person because their life is intermingled with your own.

So I make my kids’ birthdays special. I try to make them FEEL special during their day. Waking up with a helium balloon tied to their bed, walking downstairs with a string of balloons on the railing, the cake, the special dinner, the extra hugs and kisses.

This year my kids celebrated with their friends, scooters, cake (of course), going out to breakfast, going to a museum, going out to dinner, getting ice-cream, and getting THEIR FIRST PET. Yes, I caved and we went to PetCo and bought a pet. The animal that appeared to be best for our young kids was a guinea pig and we sat there with one and each of the kids held it and pet it. They all wanted him. He is black. We named him Batman.

So I’m typing this after a very full weekend, and with Batman in my room. It’s been only half a day and his cage already stinks. Or, maybe I’m just not used to the smell yet. Maybe it will get better. But the kids love him so far, and they are excited about caring for him and cleaning up his poops. Let’s see how long that lasts.

Staying sane? I know. I’m questioning that too.

Have a great week all –
– Mama K

Filed Under: Staying Sane Tagged With: birthday, first pet, guinea pig, parenting, working mom, working mother

May 4: Bawling with balloons

May 4, 2012 by Mama K 2 Comments

Today was a day that I should have been elated. My loan FINALLY was “cleared to close” and I was given the green light to put my downpayment in escrow; docs to sign early next week and closing on Wednesday! So now, I am so much closer to becoming a homeowner and providing for my family.

And the kids were ridiculously cute, as usual. Twin Husky and Big Bro stealing icing from the cupcakes, Twin Crazy with her boots, and Red. The almost-birthday-girl. She had a cute Cinqo de Mayo party at her school – we brought in cupcakes and she wore a little crown and her class sang to her. I was there to help her celebrate and her sly little smile was so cute my heart just melted.

But my heart was very, very heavy. Despite the small rays of good that are happening in my life right now.

Financial mediation in a divorce is not pleasant. I didn’t expect it to be pleasant. But I didn’t expect to be sucker-punched today. And I was, big time. I had no idea what was coming. Absolutely none. The ironic part about all of this is that I had/ have had tremendous anxiety WHILE married about our quality of life out here in California and how we weren’t making it even though we owned property…. and then came divorce… and then whatever safety net I THOUGHT I had was ripped away from me today. How can this happen? How can this happen me? I’m a mother to his FOUR children! I suffered a breakdown from working too hard to support OUR family! I’m trying and fighting to create an environment where our kids can have the BEST opportunities that they DESERVE!!! I just don’t understand. I don’t know how this is possible.

So I was bawling for most of the day. So much that the corners of my eyes are red and burning. So much that I was not elated when I was at the Title company handing over my check for a downpayment for a new home for my family. So much that my eyes were burning while I was smiling with my daughter at her birthday celebration. So much that I was crying again tonight while at the grocery store buying balloons for the birthday party for Big Bro and Red tomorrow. And now still crying as I finish this up. And the corners of my eyes are cracked and raw and painful.

How did this happen to me? How did I get here? When will it get better?
How could he do this to me?

Filed Under: Daily Journal Tagged With: divorce, financial mediation, stress, working mom, working mother

Recipe: Foil Fish

May 3, 2012 by Mama K Leave a Comment

Now that we’re getting close to summer-time this one is bound to be a hit with you and your BBQ. It was submitted by Mama N from Austin TX!!! “The kids love “undoing” the package ;).”

Foil Fish

Ingredients:

Fish filets (“I get the individually vacu-packed tilapia from Costco”)
butter
olive oil
lemon slices
spices (basil, etc.)

Directions:

Take the fish and put the filet in a piece of tinfoil with a some butter and olive oil and lemon slices on top with basil (or really whatever you feel like putting on top) and then just grilling it in its little “packet” for about 7 min.

Prep time: 5 min

Cook time: 7 min (starting with frozen filets)

Filed Under: Recipes Tagged With: fish, fish filets, food, grill, recipes, working mom, working mother

May 3: Birthday cupcakes

May 3, 2012 by Mama K Leave a Comment

Today was my day off from work. I had the Twins as usual, but today I also wanted to steal Red from her daycare. Her birthday is coming up over the weekend and I wanted her to have cupcakes to bring into the class. So I wanted her to spend time with me shopping and preparing for baking event.

Highlights of the Morning:

I went up to the twins at 7 AM and both were just waking up. I wanted Red to sleep a bit longer since we didn’t have to rush. I also wanted Big Bro to rest in a bit since he gets ready so fast now once he’s up. Twin Crazy wanted to wear stockings so we put them on, underneath a comfy pair of pants. She is so cute.

Twin Crazy was cuddly and very clingy today. I spent most of the morning walking around with her. She wasn’t interested that much in breakfast, but was VERY interested in Red’s butterfly tattoos that she spotted on the counter. I said she could hold them but that they were Red’s.

We went upstairs to Red and Big Bro. Red noticed the tattoos right away. I told Red that I already explained to Twin Crazy that they were hers [conflict avoiding]. So they sat there together looking at the butterflies and talking about the different colors that they saw on each one.

Eventually Twin Husky came up to see us too. “Mommy….mommy….” I love it. My littlest guy. The youngest of the four by 1 minute. So I had all kids upstairs with me and I needed to get them back down! I helped to lay out the clothes that Big Bro picked out and told him to make sure he changed his underwear and socks. [Yuck]

Highlights of the Day:

Red and I finished breakfast and talked while Twin Crazy and Twin Husky were busy playing with each other and talking. They both were strolling around with toy strollers and then feeding the Tigers water which turned into a big mess.

We got ready to go shopping for the cupcake supplies. We talked on the way over there about other food we needed too. They were great to shop with. They all followed me around, didn’t grab too many things, and we even ran into a neighbor. “OK guys, now what do we need?…… let’s go over here…. come on guys….”. Then a child says “How about this?!?!???” – even the twins are doing it now. They had a great time in the cake aisle. I do get a lot of looks from people when I go shopping like this. I DO hear them as they whisper behind me “How does she do it?”. Little do they know that I have ANOTHER one at school at the moment so yes it is FOUR. I love it.

After shopping we had a snack, played peek-a-boo, and did our nails. Red was in charge since it was her polish.

We then made home-made play dough and that kept them busy for awhile.

Lunch was a disaster. I made beans, cheese, and salami and was busy in the kitchen doing something and when I came back to the dining room, all of the food was thrown all over the place. I couldn’t believe it. These kids are normally so good. And Red should know better!!! So I had all the kids on the floor picking up the food and saying that I felt mad and that this was bad behavior. So they all went up for their naps immediately afterwards with empty stomachs. No one put up a fuss though about going to sleep. I think they were too scared to.

I did some work while they were napping. I threw a whole chicken into a crock-pot with lots of spices for dinner.

Once they got up, we went to pick up Big Bro. He rode his bike back home and we followed him.

Dinner and Bedtime:

We started on the cupcake project which was a lot of fun.

Twin Crazy and Twin Husky were helping me with carrots for the dinner.

They ate well. Afterwards, we decorated 4 cupcakes and they each had one. Twin Crazy’s was the littlest (barely there even) but she didn’t notice. She was enthralled by the colored candy sprinkles and frosting.

I did 4 batches of cupcakes and ran out of paper cups. I sent Big Bro to our neighbor’s house to pick up some more. And then I asked for more and she went to the fence to drop them off – but I didn’t see that text – but Red saw her hands coming through the fence…. “Mommy… mommy!!! I see a hand! I see a hand!!” I had no idea what she was talking about. I was looking all over the kitchen for a shadow of a hand or something and then I looked out the window and my poor neighbor was waving these cupcake cups in the air. Too funny. I was hysterical and the kids were too.

Kids were jumpy after all the sugar but they did such a great job working together to decorate the cupcakes.

I had Big Bro and Red for bedtime routine and got them to calm their bodies down so that they could be reasonable at storytime. They were great. Big Bro actually read the book that Red picked out and I could tell that he was proud, as was I.

So now I’m in bed and very drained. I loved the time with the kids but there is so much going on right now in terms of the divorce, me buying a house, and work/final deliverables…. I feel like I’m getting hit in all directions and there is no one on my side. But I refuse to give up. I’m from the East Coast and we’re made of stronger stuff out there. Must be the water.

Til tomorrow –
– Mama K

Filed Under: Daily Journal Tagged With: birthday, cupcakes, home, parenting, play dough, twins, working mom, working mother

May 2: Milkshakes and straws

May 2, 2012 by Mama K Leave a Comment

It was a morning of lots of hugs and cuddles. A nice way to start the day. Since I worked from home on Monday, I am going into the office today – out of normal routine.

Highlights of the Morning and Commute:

I got to the Twins as they were waking up. Poor Twin Husky did not have his Tigers with him and he asked for them immediately. I asked if he had them last night and he said No. I suggested we look for them downstairs.

Twin Crazy was gradually getting up and I got her to the potty.

Big Bro and Red were slow getting up today.

Downstairs, Twin Crazy was VERY clingy and we all went into the garage to look for Twin Husky’s Tigers. They were in the van. Poor guy. He must have missed them last night. But he looked really happy to see them this morning.

Twin Crazy was so clingy…. Mommy, mommy, mommy…. So Twin Husky wanted to be held too. I got them both on the couch and on my lap and we looked into the camera and saw ourselves and I made sure to have the Tigers in there too. They were laughing at that.

Red was fine this morning

Big Bro was battling us with his clothes. I am still convinced that he did not change his underwear or his socks from yesterday. Checking the socks is difficult because he has 12 pairs that look exactly alike. I ask him point blank if he got changed and he says “yes”… not looking at me. So I go over to him and look at him in his eyes and ask him the same question and he laughs and says “yes”. This concerns me. This kid knows how to fib and I don’t want it to progress further. We have discussions about “trust” and how once you lose someone’s trust it is VERY hard to get it back. So it’s important to have people still have trust in you. I need to think of another trick to make sure he’s getting dressed. Any suggestions Mamas?

Drop offs were fine. I packed shoes for the Twins but they both wanted to wear sneakers with laces (big mistake… i need to throw them out) so I had each of them holding one of those shoes. I’m pretty sure this will cause some sort of fight between them today. I’ll throw them out tonight.

Red drop off was great; we asked another mom about coming to the birthday party on Saturday for a friend that Red forgot about (as did I). I need to send this woman the info.

I’m on the ferry now and feeling OK. I was so wiped out yesterday. I feel like today is a fresh start. I have some things related to the divorce that I need to attend to and then I MUST devote the bulk of today to my client project. I hate client projects at this point. I shouldn’t be doing them. I can’t succeed at them with four kids. My work knows this. I was only staffed on it because there were no available managers at the time it was started. I can’t wait to be done with it so I can focus on my real job.

Highlights of My Working Day:
It was a busy day and I got a lot of work done.

I started the day with some personal items – sending out birthday emails, making photocopies, etc.

I then switched gears pretty significantly to client work. I set the team up in a conference room for us to work with each other all day. I reviewed a document, had a conference call with the client to review the document. It was a good call with good, reasonable suggestions by the client. We are on track.

Because of this, I took the team to lunch. It was wonderful.

We then went back to work — I spent time creating analysis for a section of the work. It was good to have the team together. We bounced ideas off of each other and got the work done quickly. The most efficient way to get client projects done, I believe, is having the team together face-to-face even if each team-member is working on their own section of work.

I will have more to do tonight, likely after the kids go to bed.

I am on the ferry now feeling reasonably good. I know that I have work to do tonight but I think it will be manageable. I also have tomorrow “off” and plan to keep the Twins for myself – and likely pick up Red early so that she can ride her bike back from her daycare. We will also need to make cupcakes for her tomorrow so she can bring them into class on Friday. I am looking forward to being with them tomorrow.

Dinner and Bedtime:

I picked up Red first and her teacher was proud of the strawberries that were starting to grow from their class project. So we went to find the strawberries and I told Red that she was a great farmer.

We picked up Twin Crazy and Twin Husky next. They are great. Twin Husky wanted to go into Big Bro’s car seat, and Twin Crazy wanted to drive. She was busy pressing buttons and then I had a hard time figuring out how to get the doors to automatically shut. I eventually found the buttons and Twin Crazy was anxious to see if I could fix the problem. Lucky for her!

We went to pick up Big Bro and there were two boys left for me to invite to the birthday party. But I didn’t have their parents email address – they are kids that he plays with at “aftercare” so I wrote their moms personal notes. Hopefully they can come – Big Bro is excited. He rode his bike home but stopped 1/2 way because it was too windy for him.

We got home and I started to make dinner; Big Bro helped me mix some spices that I use for Mama K’s Mac-n-Cheese.

THE KIDS ATE LIKE TEENAGERS. Mac-n-cheese, fish, leftover pizza, string beans. All kids ate all of their food… so I decided to forego the fruit dessert and head straight for a milkshake… the kids were so excited and downed their milkshakes, and then had fun with the paper straws.

I cleaned up from dinner, then played with the kids. I had Twin Crazy and Twin Husky tonight and they were wonderful. They read pictures to me and even made the sounds of the animals. I am amazed at how well Twin Crazy can say her words. She is so understandable. I wasn’t expecting that of twins. She speaks her words SO CLEARLY and enunciates the sounds so well. “Duck”, “pig”, “cat”, etc. are all pronounced with the full sounds – beginning to end. I love it. And Twin Husky loves to talk about parts of the stories. His favorite book now is the Busy Spider or something like that from Eric Carle. He loves the part where the spider is sleeping and he loves to count the stars. We do our routine… climb into the cribs, touch their faces, “I……. love…… you……” in a whisper. Goodnight. Sweet dreams. Bye bye. Blow kisses.

I went in and gave Red and Big Bro kisses on their heads.

I’m downstairs now after a shower and a good face cleaning (Clarisonic, love it). I’m looking forward to tomorrow on my day off from work – a chance for me to decompress with the kids. My goal with them tomorrow is to bake cupcakes for Red’s birthday party at school.

Til tomorrow –
– Mama K

Filed Under: Daily Journal Tagged With: client project, cooking, lunch, macaroni and cheese, milkshakes, parenting, working mom, working mother

May 1: Chocolate Tuesday, almost botched

May 1, 2012 by Mama K Leave a Comment

Tuesday. Chocolate Tuesday. But we forgot until Big Bro and REd woke up to remind us….

Highlights of the Morning and Commute:
<li Twins were downstairs acting silling, asking for "Daddy's cereal". Music was on and I was asking Twin Husky if he wanted to dance. He laughed instead. I asked where they want their kisses. He pointed to the top of his head. Twin Crazy said "nossssing (nothing).

I went upstairs to check on Big Bro and REd. Big Bro was awake but resting. I sat on his bed and he said that “bagels and just like donughts without the chocolate.” I said, yes, they are similar. We then talked about the ingredients of bagels, donughts, and cake. How each have flour but the amount of sugar used surely changes. And probably the other ingredients too. I suggested we look up the ingredeints used for all three to see how the ingredeiants are similar and different. I was caressing his hair and face during hte conversation and he laughed saying that it iwas making him fall asleep again.

Red was up by this time. We were laughing about how I need to help her carry her things downstairs. Her HUGE backpack is ridiculous. And I offered to take down her pile of clothes for the day. Big Bro asked me to come up for him next.

I came back up for Big Bro and he wanted to get changed first before coming downstairs. But he tricks me into thinking he’s changed his underwear and socks. I checked the underwear and told him he’s taking a short-cut and sometimes in life taking the short-cut actually winds up taking you more time and effort. I made him change his pants and change his underwear. I’m not sure about the socks. He may have tricked me there. I smelled the socks and they seemed OK but again I’m not sure.

Downstairs Red was upset about something. He seat was empty so that was not it. I remembered she was telling me that the twins went into my room to play with my marbles. So maybe she was sulking because I didn’t continue that conversation. So I asked her about the marbles and for her to show me and she lept up and we ran to my room and she showed me the decorative marbles on teh floor. She helped me to pick them up and I thanked her and said that the Twins were ridiculous. 🙂 She was happy again.

All kids eating chocolate Tuesday. Twin Husky stealing Twin Crazy’s which did not go over well.

We talked about a birthday gathering for Big Bro and Red this weekend – this Saturday…. this is such late notice that I don’t know what kind of crowd we will be able to muster up. I will reach out to parents today.

Big Bro was excited about the bike ride.

I gave Red all the vitamins for all the kids for her to distribute. I asked her if I could trust her not to eat them all herself. She promised and did a great job.

Drop off for twins was good; Twin Crazy was cranky about a lost lovey blanket. Twin Husky was happy.

Drop off for Red was great; she asked if she could ride her bike home one day from school. I suggested we do this on a day that I pick her up early or on a weekend – that way she isn’t too hungry/cranky on the way home. She agreed that this was a good idea. They are having a cinqo de Mayo party this Friday. Her birthday is actually on Cinqo de Mayo so now I need to bake cupcakes. What a week!!

I am on the ferry right now and am actually a bit overwhelmed by everything happening in my life right now. Just too much. I have a mortgage that should hopefully be approved today, so therefore funding on my end to happen today. I have 3 different “projects” related to the divorce that I need to stay on top of. I have two birthday parties to get organized for this Saturday. I have one client project that is due next Tuesday (Yikes). And one big conference call meeting that I need to organize for mid-May. Honestly, all are top priority. How can I prioritize top-priority things?

I make a list and bang it out. I move quickly. I need to know what is to be done and allocate the time for it and get it done and move to the next thing FAST. I need to make sure that I eat a good breakfast on days like this so I will buy something substantial today. Then get in the office and get my head down and stay focused. Start on the smallest thing first and get it out of the way and then keep moving and moving until I’m attacking what NEEDS to be done without question. The birthday note to parents will likely be top of the list – I don’t want to drop the ball on two children this weekend.

Highlights of My Working Day:
I was quiet busy…. both professionally and personally. No lunch!

The first thing I did today was start to reach out to parents to make some sort of party happen for Big Bro and Red. I’ve nailed down many friends but still have to reach out to others. I hope I can make this day special for them.

Conference call related to a forum that we are planning; I am leading efforts. We decided to make it a conference call versus a face to face so we can get broader client participation. I need to re-communicate with participants, continue to sell participation, and also get materials together to make the meeting a success. I spent some time afterward re-crafting go-to-market messaging and also indicating next steps for our internal team.

Had another conference call as a follow up from our meeting when I was traveling. I don’t like this potential partner and do not trust him. Internally we are going to invest to get feedback from our clients before we spend too much time investing further in this effort.

There was alot of back and forth related to the mortgage.

I spent time doing divorce-related things like organizing documents, printing, scanning. This is such an amazing waste of time.

I tried to get my act in gear related to the client project, but just couldn’t do it. I’ve mapped out all day tomorrow to work with the team so hopefully I’ll contribute something then.

I’m on the ferry and am really tired. It’s only Tuesday. I feel crushed. My arms hurt from the reams of paper I’ve carried home today. I’m not sure about dinner. But I’m happy about getting the kids.

Dinner and Bedtime:

Pick ups went fine; first Red, then Twins, then Big Bro.

Big Bro rode his bike home. I went extra slow and gave him a big lead so he could beat us at the end of the lagoon trail.

I called for a pizza delivery for dinner.

As I was getting the kids and stuff unpacked, the back yard neighbors suddenly started appearing in the house. Then I turned around and ALL of the backyard neighbor’s kids were at hour place. So I had 8 kids in total. I was making a huge joke out of it saying that the kids are multiplying and growing like weeds…. so funny. The kids were having a ball and cracking up.

Pizza guy came and out went the neighbors kids

We had some tantrums with Red and Big Bro; I’m not sure if Twin Husky ate anything.

Smoothies after dinner; YUM

After dinner we did puzzles and counted the ladybugs in our habitat. Big Bro wrote a note for the kids behind us, wanting them to come over for a slumber party. He left the note by their garage with a rock on top so they could get the note in the morning.

I had Red and Big Bro tonight for bedtime; Twins were acting crazy.

I am so tired right now I can’t get over it. I feel like the energy is drained right out of me. I feel like my money on my lawyer is the worse use of money ever; I somehow need to pull back;
Goodnight;
– Mama K

Filed Under: Daily Journal Tagged With: divorce, parenting, tired, working mom, working mother

April 30: A Mama Bear alone with her cubs

April 30, 2012 by Mama K Leave a Comment

Monday. I decided to work from home 1/2 day today (instead of Wednesday) because I THOUGHT the mortgage would be ready for me to sign and then put $$$ in escrow for closing. I was wrong…

Highlights of the Morning and Commute:

My first encounter with a child was with Big Bro. I was in the shower and he was downstairs and already dressed for the day. He wanted to go pee-pee and was upset that I was in the bathroom. I suggested that I turn the other way while I was in the shower and not look so he could have some privacy. He told me to promise not to look. I did, laughing.

Big Bro literally had all of his things ready to go at 7:30. Back packed, shoes found and ready, helmet set to go. It was Monday and he was the leader for the Motley Crew bike ride to school… AND he had his NEW bike so he was really looking forward to getting started today. So cute.

Red put on a necklace and said it looked like mine. She was so cute and I told her that she was my “twin”. Her birthday is coming up and I keep calling her my sweet little birthday princess. She really looked like a princess today with her shiny necklace.

I held Twin Husky as I made my coffee. We talked together about the steps of making the coffee and where the grinds go and the water goes. He knows exactly where everything goes and what happens next. We then went into the laundry room to check out the washing machine.

Twin Crazy saw the attention received by her brother and then asked for me to pick her up. I can’t resist. She looks at me with those big round eyes and then sings “mommy, mommy, mommy….” and my heart melts.

We got ready really quickly today for some reason. While we were finishing gathering our things, Red, Twin Crazy, Twin Husky played with a puzzle. Its sweet how they all communicate now… sometimes for the good, sometimes for the worse. Their laughter with each other is growing more intense by the day… as is their fights with one another. It’s now going in all directions…. between the older ones, between the littler ones, and across all of the ages. Siblings.

I took the twins in the stroller and participated in Big Bro’s leading debut of the Motley Crew bicycle gang. The Twins looked at the sprinkler system as we were waiting for everyone. I told them how it works.

I overheard one of his friends telling his mom that he wanted a bike just like Big Bro’s. It was “so cool”. I can’t believe I’m hearing this already. I didn’t think I would hear this peer pressure so soon. They are in Kindergarten for goodness sakes!

I strolled the Twins to daycare. They were OK with going there and seemed happy as I left.

Highlights of My Working Day:

I made it back in time to rearrange some meetings and let work know that I was working from home today. They all know of my house purchase and process of the mortgage…

I had a debrief meeting on the candidates we interviewed. I believe we are going to move forward with one, and I fully support that decision. She was a rock-star candidate.

I had a conversation with a Director about two forums we are trying to launch; we determined go-forward plan for both.

I followed up for the status of our client project. I’m starting to get worried.

I followed up with some work we need to circle back for one of the forums. I need to organize the info so I can thoughtfully articulate it back to our clients.

The Rest of the Day:

I did spend time trying to figure out the status of my mortgage and signing of loan docs. It seems like we are delayed again. I kept waiting for the green light as the deadline for the bank wire approached and then passed. I went to the bank to get a certified check in case the green light came through in the afternoon. I started to drive to the title company. Once I got there the green light still was not in, nor was it coming today. So I drove home, just in enough time to pick up Big Bro.

While picking up Big Bro I spoke with the agent and the Seller. They realize this is not my fault and are working with me and being unbelievably patient. I lost the connection but got it back while I was picking up the Twins. I reiterated my appreciation to the seller for his patience and indicated that women are strong and NEVER get in between a mama bear and her cubs!!!!! I see this house as an opportunity for better things for my family. I’m doing this for my children and want to see this happen for them.

We got to Red’s and then Big Bro rode his bike home.

We had a great dinner, and then had some dessert… leftover cupcakes from Red’s school. All kids were following me around like “dawn of the dead”…. I cut up the cupcakes, dished out the pieces in paper plates, and asked the kids to sit at the table. THEY RAN. I distributed the dessert AND THE PLACE WAS SILENT as they were busy gobbling up their dessert. I cleaned up as they enjoyed their sugar.

Afterwards, there was a lot of running around upstairs. I finished cleaning up and made it upstairs and told the kids to calm their bodies down… threatening loss of bike privileges if they do not listen. They eventually calmed down, I had Twins ready in their room for books, and invited Big Bro and Red to join us. They were wonderful. I had all kids around me and quiet. And Big Bro and Red were excited about sharing in the routine with Twin Crazy and Twin Husky. Big Bro even read a book to them. I am so proud on so many levels.

Twins did their kissing routine, as did I. “I….. love….. you…… sweet dreams….” Blow kisses.

Big Bro read a book to me, and then I did the same for him and Red. I am stunned at the fact that he is now reading. I just can’t believe it. It seemed to happen so quickly. He’s only in Kindergarten!!!! I don’t remember doing this in Kindergarten. Are we pushing our kids to hard to fast??? I wonder… But he is like a sponge and he is so quick and logical and questioning and a person learning about who he is and HE LOVES BOOKS!!! 🙂

I am typing now in the hallway since Red was scared and needy. Big Bro passed out asleep in about 2 minutes and I hear his deep breathing now.

Tonight went well. I was on my own and it went fine. I am a bit worn out from the shear emotional exhaustion that comes from buying a house. And also the various aspects of the divorce. I am not too concerned about work right now but I should be. Our client final deliverable is next week and my head is NOWHERE near that project right now. That needs to be fixed tomorrow. I also need some closure on my mortgage. I need that green light. That mortgage approval is coming between my cubs and their new home and I don’t like the feeling of being in limbo.

Til tomorrow –
– Mama K

Filed Under: Daily Journal Tagged With: bicycles, cupcakes, divorce, home, mortgage, parenting, reading, siblings, working mom, working mother

Staying Sane: Ride like the wind

April 29, 2012 by Mama K 1 Comment

This weekend was a big weekend for Big Bro and Red. They are turning 6 and 4 soon, and co-parent decided to go out this weekend and get them suited up for their birthday presents…. new bicycles! So we grabbed the last bike that was big enough for Big Bro – a stretch actually – with gears and front/back handle breaks and all. We also suited up little Red in a fancy pink REAL bike with training wheels – and tassels to boot.

Because of these purchases, we were hanging out quite a bit in the cul-de-sac courtyard behind our house this weekend. It is safer there and there are two houses of young kids. At first I was just camping out with the rest watching the kites, balls, bicycles, scooters, and running of the kids. And then Big Bro asked about his gears. And I started to teach him about them. But he had some problems turning the gears. So I got on his bike to learn how to do it myself. I spun around the courtyard and felt the wind in my face and then realized I needed to focus on learning the gears or else Big Bro would be disappointed. So I got that down, but then continued to ride. Around the cul-de-sac again and going faster and riding riskier and pedaling faster. My heart beating and hearing the wind now.

This has been the most exercise I’ve gotten in too long of a time.

So I had to give the bike up. But then thought to myself – I’m going to grab MY bike — funny though. It is a mountain bike. And I have not rode on it in literally 7 or 8 years. So when I went to check it out, both tires were flat beyond repair and the cobwebs likely choked up the chains. So I grabbed co-parent’s bike.

I came blasting around the bend into the courtyard at warp speed (or at least I felt that way). My leg muscles felt good to be awake. My heart was pounding, my hair was shoved into my helmet but still flying around, the sun was on my skin and I was having FUN. I grabbed Big Bro and we took two loops around our neighborhood. I was talking to him as we went about the gears and the uphills and the downhills; he took to it so quickly and I had so much fun riding around with him.

So now I have another thing to add to my “to-do” list: Get my own bike tuned up and fixed.

The exercise felt good. Being outside in the fresh air felt good. The sun felt good. Being with my son and the kids felt good. But the speed and the freedom and yes the tiny bit of recklessness was AMAZING. I’m looking forward to more of it and maybe shedding some pounds.

What do you Mamas do for exercise? What activities do you find liberating?

Have a great week to all –
– Mama K

Filed Under: Staying Sane Tagged With: bicycle, exercise, freedom, happiness, son, speed, sunshine, working mom, working mother

May 8: Sometimes you try so hard and it just doesn’t matter

May 7: The Signing

Staying Sane: Celebrate!

May 4: Bawling with balloons

Recipe: Foil Fish

May 3: Birthday cupcakes

May 2: Milkshakes and straws

May 1: Chocolate Tuesday, almost botched

April 30: A Mama Bear alone with her cubs

Staying Sane: Ride like the wind

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