working mom – Mama In Motion™

March 27: Lots of rain but no heat.

March 27, 2012 by Mama K 1 Comment

Rain! Rain! Rain! I’m moving slowly this AM. A bit from the rainy gray day, and also lack of sleep. Red was up crying last night at 1 AM and co-Parent was barely getting out of bed. She went right back to sleep but the heat was not on!!! [How much money does it really save to keep the heat off during the night?] It was 62 degrees in the house! So we were moving kindof slow today, and now ALL FOUR KIDS are sick. Sneezes, runny noses.

Highlights of the Morning:

Chocolate Tuesday!! Twins were happy eating, even though they were sneezing intermittently.

Red and Big Bro were still upstairs, slumbering. It was hard to get Red up. She was moody. I had trouble with her picking out her clothes [this should be done the night before]. She had issues with the shirt, the pants. I sat with her and talked with her. I told her I felt tired. And a little bit sick. And that sometimes its hard to get moving in the morning when you feel that way. But I said I was going to eat breakfast to give me some energy (I usually don’t eat at home – lack of time). I asked her if she could help me pick out my breakfast (cream of wheat packets) and that I would eat if she would too. That seemed to work. She embraced me and we went downstairs together with her pile of clothes.

Red picked out my breakfast and she got ready for Chocolate Tuesday.

I took Twin Crazy to the potty for positive reinforcement. I told her how proud of her I am. Her face squishes up in a big smile whenever I say that. She is doing soooooooo good with potty training. Hopefully she does well today.

I next went to work on Big Bro. He was upstairs still in bed. I mentioned Chocolate Tuesday. He still wasn’t moving quickly. I talked about last night and how he went to sleep late and that’s why he must feel a bit tired this morning (and I do too). Then we started talking about the funny things from last night… how Red was asking in the monitor “[Big Bro], where are you?”…. and “Mommy….. I’m scared.” And we talked about how I hear them at night when they are talking to each other as they go to sleep and how I laugh when I hear them laugh and say funny things. We both were laughing at that. I put a pile of clothes together for him (favorite pair of jeans) and gave him privacy to get changed upstairs by himself.

I ate breakfast!!!

Got Big Bro’s breakfast

Dished out the vitamins for all of the sick kids

Helped Big Bro with his sneakers (our little together time)

Helped Red get changed; she had her backpack ready.

Found out that the Motley Crew was still going to RIDE today so we got Big Bro’s helmet on and off he went. I text with the other mommy which makes things really easy in the morning.

I packed up the Twin bag and Co-parent dropped off Twins.

I dropped off Red and we made a quick pit-stop to the bathroom to wipe off the chocolate off of her face. I like this one-one time with her. I took my time wiping off her face and was gentle with her. We talked about how Twin Crazy likes to wipe our faces and laughed about that. We walked into her classroom and again she was proud of her HUGE backpack. Once we got there, I realized that she showed up to school with FOUR jackets…. two spring jackets, one fleece, and one raincoat. All but one shoved in her backpack. Too cute.

I arrived in the Ferry parking lot a bit early, was able to get a parking spot without a problem. Then the rain started. I sat there for a bit since I was early. I checked my email. I wondered how Big Bro’s ride was going and that hopefully they reached the school in time.

Now I’m on the ferry and it is bumpy. It’s supposed to rain the rest of the week. I will be busy again today. I have seven meetings today and am overbooked for two of them — 3 related to forum planning, 2 related to client project, one performance review (mine), one firm-wide staff meeting/conference call. PLUS I need to still get work complete for a different client project. It will likely be quite impossible. I’ll have to lug that binder back home and focus on that tomorrow, I betcha.

Highlights of the Working Day:
Another busy day —

2 planning meetings for forums;

1 interview with a potential speaker – we are going to bring her in for the Fall, but not for the Spring since her data will be more relevant then

1 primary interview for the client project

1 status meeting with the client to preview initial insights from interviews and our refined thinking of the quantitative analysis

my annual review. It was OK. 2011 sucked and my review reflected that. But my new role with the forums is working and they will continue to focus me in that area, while allowing me the time to cultivate client relationships/project sales, but also reducing my direct involvement with project delivery. I have to keep myself focused on work and on the kids. I need for both of these aspects to stay on track – I will worry about myself later. Overall I’m pretty satisfied with the discussion.

So now I’m on the ferry and it is a completely rough ride. We are tossing and turning all over the place and its actually quite fun. We’re hitting big swells and I’m getting that negative g-force feeling in my stomach. Fun.

I’m looking forward to an evening with the kids. Not sure about dinner – I have not planned that far in advance. Maybe fish since that cooks up quickly in the oven, even frozen.

Dinner and Bedtime:
Rain, rain, rain…

I picked up Red in a downpour. She wore her cute little cat raincoat.

We picked up Twins next. And then Big Bro. Big Bro and I ran through the rain to get his bike. We were both soaked by the time I loaded it into the trunk. Looks like we’ll be dropping him off tomorrow – we’re expecting rain the rest of the week.

I got everyone home and started dinner. Red was having multiple breakdowns. Crying and not talking. Not communicating the issue. She gets that way sometimes. I think the lack of sleep and feeling sick are impacting her today.

We found two different spiders and the kids went nuts looking at them each. I was brave and got some paper and collected the scared creatures and returned them outside. I probably drowned the poor things – they were probably escaping the rain; we rarely see spiders at all inside the house.

Kids ate reasonably well. Red had one or two tantrums.

Twin Husky has been crying on and off all night too.

Big Bro has been teasing a bit.

Co-parent is playing with the kids on the floor. He’s actually awake. No… wait… he just put his head down and is now snoozing with the kids around him. Typical. He’s just laying on the floor with his eyes closed with all of these kids surrounding him. It makes me ill.

Twin Crazy just came over to me for a visit. I’m going to play with her now.

I’m sitting down, feeling like crap. I can barely swallow. My head is pounding. My throat hurts and my nose is running. I’m achy. I want to curl up and make this go away. I can’t stand the sound of his voice.

I had bedtime with Big Bro and Red. It was really fast. Twin Crazy paid us a visit and sat on Big Bro’s lap for a bit during booktime. Big Bro was trying to get me to read a second book and I wouldn’t give in. Red was acting playful despite the lack of sleep. Big Bro looked exhausted. I tucked them both in, gave them their kisses, and headed out the door.

So I’m downstairs now, feeling like poop. I just ate a huge bowl of ice-cream with Rice Krispies mixed in (my favorite). This is not a very healthy living environment. I feel like this is my bear den and my cubs are upstairs too far away from me. I want to fast forward. Red is crying. Let me go to her.

After talking, reassuring, laughing, more hugging, and I love yous, it is now 9 PM and this child has started to cry again. Wish me luck tonight.

Til tomorrow –
– Mama K

Filed Under: Daily Journal Tagged With: cold, meetings, parenting, part-time, rain, sick, sleep, spiders, tantrums, tired, working mom, working mother

March 26: Stealing time

March 26, 2012 by Mama K Leave a Comment

Back to work after a rainy/overcast weekend. I had a great time with the kids. We spent the time together at the house and didn’t really do any destination excursions. Us playing play-dough, playing kickball in the neighborhood, watching the Discovery channel, potty-training Twin Crazy. Now headed into work and I feel good about the time I spent with each child. I really feel like I connected strongly with each, giving them undivided time and attention.

I’m on the ferry now, feeling pretty good.

Highlights of the Morning:

I woke up to Red in my room at 6:40 AM. I was snoozing and found it hard to get up. It was easier for me seeing her smiling face and telling me “time to get up!!!”.

I ask the kids now if it is OK for me to kiss them good-morning – mostly for Twin Husky’s sake. He is cuddly but not kissey. I love how he picks a specific spot on the side of his head above his ear for me to kiss him. “Here”. “Here?” I ask. “No. Here.” as he moves his finger a little bit over his head. I kiss him. And he smiles.

Twin Crazy went to the potty, I changed her in underwear and packed underwear (and lots of extra pants) for her at daycare today. I’m hoping the daycare provider keeps up the routine with her. She was doing great this weekend. She looks up at me with those huge eyes looking for expressions of approval and I tell her how happy I am and how proud I am of her. How well she is doing (there were of course some accidents but nothing monstumental).

I packed up the other bags of clothes and needed items. Red was excited about packing up her backpack for school. She says that there are other kids that are bringing in backpacks to school so she wanted to do that too. So she spent the night before getting everything ready (her baby doll, her Jessie doll, her blanket, her jacket, her raincoat) and setting it out by the back door with all of our other things.

Big Bro was excited about wearing sweatpants to school. We tried them out over the weekend and he loves them. I love them because they don’t have any holes in the knees. He wanted to wear the matching soccer ball sweatshirt top that goes with the pants so I made sure it would be cleaned by this AM so that he would be ready to go. He woke up later than normal (did not nap at all over the weekend) but got ready by himself and was so excited when he came downstairs wearing his outfit. Today is Monday and his day to be “leader”, the first in line with the Motley Crew in bikes. It makes Mondays easier for us.

Big Bro headed out on his bike, Twins went with co-parent, and I took Red in upon her request. She was very excited with her backpack. I could tell she wanted the attention of her classmates and teacher.

Now I’m on the ferry and will be very busy at work today. I have back to back meetings for much of the day, I remember. I don’t remember what they are though. I need to get back on track with where I am with work today. After looking at my calendar, I have 7 meetings scheduled, 2 are in conflict with one another. THere are meetings related to the client project, recruiting feedback, and planning for the forums in one months time. PLUS I have work to do. How is it possible? Every 15 minutes of uninterrupted time makes a difference. I’ve learned to use that time to my advantage. Attacking the time and the task and getting it OFF of my plate as soon as I can so I can move on to the next thing. I checked my emails this morning and there is nothing urgent that will distract me (yet).

I have my meeting with my therapist tonight so will miss the kids this evening. Hopefully Big Bro and Red will still be awake (likely) so I can catch up with them and their days.

Highlights of My Working Day:
Busy busy busy….

I walked from the ferry, grabbed a coffee and a chocolate croissant.

Made it to the office and went directly into a conference room to catch up with the project team for a meeting that I knew I would be late to (the ferry gets in just before 9 AM and it takes me 15 min to walk to the office). We talked about the analysis and refined our thinking – I think the work is in a better place.

Immediately after this meeting we had a conference call to debrief on the interview candidates from last week. I suggested we bring one back for one of the Directors to interview, versus tossing him out of the picture completely. There was something about him that folks liked.

We had a primary interview/conference call with a market player related to our one project. We learned some new perspectives we have not heard of before which is the beauty and value of having these kinds of discussions.

We had our Monday office lunch and I had to leave a bit early to prepare for another conference call.

I was surprised by a call from my dad in India through Ooovooo. It was 1 AM his time. I spent 1 month in India over 10 years ago and loved the experience although the first week was very difficult because there’s no way to prepare yourself for the poverty, how children are used, and how loud/dirty/smelly everything is. He is loving his time there so far (thank goodness). It was fun to talk to him and see him through my PC.

I had a planning conference call related to one of the forums I am leading.

I reached out to several CEOs for guest speakers and potential members.

We had a separate meeting relating to the Agenda and guests for a separate forum; also sat in on a call with a potential participant/speaker.

I followed up with some emails and outreach; addressed some random items in my Inbox.

It was a mind-blowing busy day with meetings – but I feel like I did not get much work done! There is still client work to prepare for tomorrow, and a whole binder of client-related materials for me to plow through. Plus finalizing speakers and Agenda and details details details.

I’m glad work is busy. It is a diversion for me.

I am on the ferry home now, and I am hoping that I get home in time to see the little ones. I have a feeling at least some will be up since it is only Co-parent at home with them, alone. So I’m fairly certain that the older ones will be up, and hopefully the littler ones too. I hope Twin Crazy was still encouraged to use the potty today. I worked really hard with her over the weekend and want for it to continue. I hope Big Bro had a good time on his bike – it will likely rain the rest of the week. I hope Red is happy. I hope Twin Husky has both of his Tigers with him.

I’m hoping my children are going through this the best they can, and that I am doing all that I should be doing to protect them and get them through this. My focus is on them and being there for them and being happy for them.

*****
[8:30 PM]
OMG I had a great time with the kids just now. Twin Crazy was finishing going to the potty (she only had ONE accident today!) and I told her how proud of her I was. Twin Crazy was running around laughing and then jumping on Big Bro’s bed. Red was excited to see me and clung to my leg like a monkey. Big Bro was busy with Legos.

Then all kids were going nuts and running around and I was trying to separate the Twins for their bedtime routine but the big kids kept wanting the little kids in their room and then the big kids would come into the little kids room and they were all hugging and hiding in the closet and being kids. Being siblings. Laughing and hugging. And I was there to see it!

The twins and I whispered “I…… love…. you” and also blew kisses. Red came downstairs to me to talk about a milkshake recipe ingredients. I wrote them down as a shopping list. Big Bro came down to talk about his sweatpants. How kids thought they were pajamas but his response was that “pajamas don’t have pockets”. He wants to wear them again tomorrow, but he also wants to wear them to sleep. He’s addicted. OK, I have to go deal with this now…

[9 PM]
OMG now they are both down here, Red with her head burried in my blanket like an ostrich.

Til tomorrow –
– Mama K

Filed Under: Daily Journal Tagged With: conferences, divorce, laughter, meetings, missing you, parenting, siblings, working mom, working mother

Staying Sane: Playdough on a Rainy Day

March 25, 2012 by Mama K 1 Comment

Yesterday it was raining. Hard. All day. What to do with four young kids on a rainy day? Something that EACH kid will enjoy? Something that could occupy them for a LONG time? Something they could play together or in parallel? PLAY DOUGH!!!

Let me tell you I took out our play dough gear (pretend oven, rolling pins, cut out shapes) but then saw that we had only one container of play dough left. And then it got worse. We opened it up and it was old, crusty, and a mixture of probably 20 different remenants of other colors. So it was a pasty, brown/grey glob of depressing playdough.

So I decided to search the internet to figure out how to make it. There are several recipes out there. Many require tarter and cooking. That was not for me. So, I tried the SIMPLEST recipe I could find:

Ingredients:
– 1/4 cup salt
– 1/4 cup water
– 1 cup flour
– food coloring

Add ons:
– glitter
– hard pasta (for poking)
– markers

Directions:
Combine salt and flour, then add water and food coloring and combine until the right consistency (add more water if needed).

We made several batches and the kids were entertained off and on through the day for at least 4 hours. Not lying. Not exaggerating. There were balls, snakes, lines of playdough, cutting, poking hard pasta in it, making pizza, making animals.

I loved it since all four of the kids were playing – sometimes together, most of the time in parellel. They were sharing colors, exchanging supplies, sometimes working together on making lines of dough balls, etc. Big Bro made an “ocean” scene with a wave and everything. I was impressed at his creation (it is drying today – he wants to keep it).

And I had fun making it with them and also playing make believe about how delicious the pizza was, teaching the twins how to roll balls, and combining colors.

We put it in zip lock bags afterwards and it seems OK today; probably won’t last too much longer though.

So next time you need something quick to do with young kids – take out the dough! It honestly was so easy and the kids got a charge out of making it and then playing with it. Might even work well with older kids who want to create something and then set it out to dry.

HAVE FUN

– Mama K

Filed Under: Staying Sane Tagged With: creativity, flour, food coloring, parenting, play dough, playing with kids, rainy day activites, working mom, working mother

March 23: bedtime

March 23, 2012 by Mama K 2 Comments

I’m laying in bed, almost asleep. Realized that I never sent out a post, so here it goes on my iPhone.

I sort of worked, and sortif parented today. I don’t feel like I did either particularly well. We had a meeting with the child custody mediator which always makes me feel defeated. I am so tired. I feel like issues which drowned the marriage are surfacing again here and I can’t stand it. I am ready to move on and start a new life damn it and temporary purgatory is going to make things harder for me. If it is better for the kids, fine…. I will do what should be done. But i feel like i am always the one that sacrifices. These feelings are still so raw and now there’s salt thrown at me. Just let me do what is right for these kids already.

Ugh. What happened today?

red hid big bro,s Lego book with small coin inside. His favorite treasure. I had to get her to admit it and tell me where she hid it

twins were really cute playing with each other this am

drop offs for everyone went well

pick up for red was sweet. She was playing in the playground when we stole her away

big bro took the lagoon path again today after school

twin husky almost got lost in a bowl of applesauce

we went to see a magic show tonight

I had the twins for bedtime and they were both acting so happy and goofy

I also interviewed two candidates via phone

I reached out to potential guests and speakers for our forums

I’m feeling wiped out. Not a good worker. Not a good mother. Not moving forward. Staying still and immobilized due to other people’s fear. Haven’t we all gone through enough already? Just let us move on and get on with this new life already. Give me my energy back so I can focus on the kids where my focus should be. They need it.

Zzzzzzzzzzz
– mama k

Filed Under: Daily Journal Tagged With: divorce, exhaustion, happiness, parenting, temporary, working mom, working mother

Recipe: Sweet, Salty, and Sour Marinade

March 22, 2012 by Mama K Leave a Comment

As a follow up to my posting on Marinades, I thought I would share the below marinade recipe sourced from Bon Appetite. It uses some rarer ingredients so this may not work for all families. I also included the “formula to a good marinade” below.

Enjoy!

****

Sweet, Salty, and Sour Marinade

Makes about 1 cup, enough to marinate 2 lb. of pork (tenderloin or chops) or fish (oily or white-fleshed; shrimp or scallops)

Ingredients:

3 oz. palm sugar, chopped, or 6.5 Tbsp. light brown sugar
1/2 cup fresh lime juice
1/2 cup fish sauce (such as nam pla or nuoc nam)
1/2 cup coarsely chopped fresh cilantro [I use chopped cilantro cubes in the freezer section at Trader Joes)
2 TBsp. chopped peeled fresh ginger [You can use jarred Ginger, or I use ginger powder these days too)
4 red Thai chiles or 6 Fresno chiles, thinly sliced
3 Tbsp. minced lemongrass (from peeled bottom 4″ of 2 large stalks)

Ingredient information: palm sugar is available at Indian and Asian markets. Fish sauce is sold at Asian markets and better supermarkets.

Directions:

Stir palm sugar and 3 Tbsp. water in a small sauce pan over low heat until sugar is dissolved. Remove from heat.
Combine lime juice, fish sauce, and 3 Tbsp. water in a medium bowl. Whisk in 1/3 cup palm sugar syrup (reserve remaining syrup for glaze).
Stir in cilantro, ginger, chiles, and lemongrass.
Put pork or seafood in a glass, stainless-steel, or ceramic dish. Toss with marinade.
Cover and chill for at least 3 hours or overnight.
Remove pork or seafood from marinade, pat dry, and grill.

The finish:

Simmer marinade and reserved palm sugar syrup n a small saucepan until reduced to 3/4 cup. Brush glaze onto meat or fish during the last few minutes of grilling.

source: Bon Appetite, July 2011

*****

“Marinade Math”

+ Acid (citrus juice, vinegar, or wine tenderizes and focuses the flavors)

+ Salt (Kosher salt – or soy or fish sauce – allows seasonings to penetrate)

+ Alliums (garlic, shallots, or onions are a must for a muscular marinade)

+ Sugars and & Syrups (Used judiciously, sweetness balances all the flavors)

+ Chiles (where there’s smoke there should be fire)

+ Herbs (fresh, summery herbs – like cilantro, oregano, and basil – work better than dried)

source: Bon Appetite, July 2011

Filed Under: Recipes Tagged With: cilantro, ginger, marinade, recipe, working mom, working mother

March 22: Museums and milkshakes

March 22, 2012 by Mama K Leave a Comment

Home Day! It was a good day. Lots of activity and even a trip into the city!

Highlights of the Morning:

Twin Crazy and Twin Husky were both wearing their new backpacks from Nana. Red, or even Big Bro, were likely helping them to fill them up and put them on.

Everyone got ready easily. Big Bro gathered his shoes, jacket, backpack, and helmet and had everything out and ready. He waited for the go-ahead (8 AM) and then he was off, after I kissed him goodbye.

The rest of the kids were ready to go. I was taking Twin Crazy and Twin Husky to an activity museum and I asked Red if she wanted to go to, or go to school to play with her friends. She opted to come with us so I gathered more food/snacks since my group expanded.

We went to the museum and had fun painting on see-through walls, playing with water spray bottles, molding with silly-puddy-play-dough stuff, investigating a pretend ship, jockeying for position near the toy train tracks, jumping on water bed lilli-pads, climbing on structures, jumping, and playing with stuffed animals. The three of them had a blast.

Afterwards, I made a trip through the city to stop at my new office. The kids were great. They were great on the busy streets and crossing at the light, and holding hands and going through the lobby and being scared on the elevator and checking out our new office space. They received lots of hugs from co-workers. We ate tangerines and drank water. I picked up lots of paperwork that I needed. This will save me a trip to the office tomorrow.

Nap time; kids were asleep on the way home. I love that feeling of them sound asleep transporting them from car to bed. They napped well since there was so much activity in the morning.

Highlights of the Evening:

We had snacks after nap and then went to pick up Big Bro.

He again decided to take the lagoon-route home. Brave boy. He was faster this time. It feels strange saying “goodbye Mommy” to him at the crossroads but the look on his face of excitement is awesome. He says goodbye, and I say “have fun. I’ll see you on the other side”.

I ordered a pizza and the kids were in great moods while we were waiting for it to arrive. They ate like champs. We finished the night with banana milkshakes so we could use two brown bananas that were decomposing on the counter and also some new straws that I just got for the kids.

Hide and seek! All kids were running around playing together which is great to see.

I had Big Bro and Red tonight. They were great. They are doing great now. I hear them on the kid monitor and they are busy talking about letters of the alphabet. I think Red is telling Big Bro the letter she wants and he is writing it down on something. So cute. No tears yet. No screaming yet. I hope tonights goes well. They are laughing.

Today was really nice. I love my time with Twin Crazy and Twin Husky. They are both so cuddly and interactive. Big Bro had lots of bike-time in so he was cooperative and not teasing his siblings. They were just really getting along well and enjoyable.

I’m relaxing now listening to them. I have some work to do. Uh-oh. through the kid monitor: “Mommy…. I’m scared….” . Whew. They’re talking about letters again, for now. She’s scared. I say “relax”. She says “come upstairs.” I say “No. You can do it”. Now they’re talking about what I said, and letters.

Til tomorrow –
– Mama K

Filed Under: Daily Journal Tagged With: banana milkshakes, flex time, museum, office visit, painting, part-time, working mom, working mother

March 21: Big milestones!!!

March 21, 2012 by Mama K 1 Comment

Red is screaming for me right now as I type this. Ugggh.

Highlights of the Morning and Commute:

Twin Crazy was excited to wear her new shirt from Nana. Red picked it out for her and Twin Crazy was acting silly and waving her arms wearing it.

Big Bro was trying to scare her along the way.

Kids got dressed and ready without any problems.

Big Bro rode his bike with the Motley Crew, I dropped of Twin Crazy/Twin Husky, and then Red.

I drove back home to work for the 1/2 day.

Highlights of My Working Day:
[note: Red is still screaming for me….]

I made a pot of coffee, ate breakfast, loaded the dishwasher, and got my computer and phones out.

I had a conference call regarding a survey that we need to do for one of the meetings in April. I suggested ways to improve efficiencies and then lined up a resource to load the questions into Zoomerang. I need to look at the output PowerPoint pages since there seems to be a lot of manual, tedious work there that doesn’t need to be done…. I need to focus on presentation in the next week. But for now, the questionnaire will be executed through Zoomerang.

I secured a speaker and potential new member for one of the forums!!! YES!!! I’m psyched.

I had to answer numerous emails related to client work and forums. This trouble-shooting occurred throughout the day.

[Red is still screaming…. Mommy, mommy, mommy….. my Co-parent assumes the crying will just stop]

I had some appointments the rest of the day.

Dinner and Bedtime:

I picked up Red, Twins, and Big Bro. While waiting for Big Bro to get his bike, Twin Husky pointed to the part of his head where it was OK for me to give him a kiss. I ask the kids if it is OK for me to kiss them.

Big Bro had a HUGE milestone tonight. Instead of taking the sidewalk the whole way home (with me tailing him in the van with hazard lights on], he decided for the FIRST time to take the “lagoon trail” by himself. It’s about 1/4 mile and I met him with the van on the other side. I was so proud of him. And the rest of the kids were also anxiously awaiting him to come into eyesight. So cute. He’s getting bigger, braver. I love that. Independence. Conquering fear, the unknown.

Kids ate really well. Twin Husky wanted to serve himself and cut his own meatballs. All kids wanted to put their own grated cheese on their dinners. Kids were getting their drinks of water. So independent. I love it. You have to be patient at this age (2 yrs old) but you need to let them do these things for themselves.

Afterwards, Red and the Twins were crawling around under the table and I was making jokes about them being “doggies”. Red was my Irish Setter, Twin Crazy was my Jack Russell Terrier, and Twin Husky was my Bassett Hound. They were all laughing and going in circles and shrieking and acting like doggies. So cute.

Twin Husky and Twin Crazy were pretending to cook.

Red was on my lap using a spoon to drink water and kept spilling it on me. I joked with her… “is THIS the thanks I get for making you dinner? Thanks for making me dinner mommy, now here is some water for your lap…” She was cracking up. We had a great time.

Hide and seek!

Bedtime – I had the Twins. Twin Crazy went pee-pee in the potty; I told her to hold it in when she wakes up and in the AM I would get her and bring her to the potty right away. I was so proud of her. We read books, kissed goodnight (especially the twins to each other) and then night-night. She said she was scared of the dark and I said that it is OK to be scared and also suggested clapping her hands real loud to make the scary things go away.

[Red is still crying for Mommy….]

[I just went up to her. Got her into bed. Calmed her down. Asked her to relax her neck, shoulders, arms, fingers, legs, etc. Told her it was OK. Let her know that its easier to go to sleep when your mind and your body is relaxed. I asked her to relax and I promised to check in on her in 2 minutes. She agreed. I will go up to her soon, as promised.].

I had a good day. I am really busy at work. And things are going so crazy at home. This is not a good situation for any of us. I wish it were May and not March. There is too much for our family to endure during this time. And I’m busy at work and wanting to do the best for the kids. I feel like I’m being pulled in all directions – but need to stay focused on making my work successful and protecting my children the best way I can. And that means letting go a bit, I know.

Til tomorrow –
– Mama K

Filed Under: Daily Journal Tagged With: divorce, independence, letting go, meetings, parenting, part-time, potty training, sleep, working mom, working mother

March 20: Feeling too old for horsie-back rides

March 20, 2012 by Mama K Leave a Comment

I’m tired this morning and I know that I have PLENTY to do at work – a good thing, I suppose.

Highlights of the Morning and Commute:

Red had a really hard time going to sleep last night. But despite this, she is still the first one to wake up in the AM. She woke up at 6:20 AM calling for me, and I went to get her and brought her downstairs since it was soon time to get up anyway. She sat in my room and we talked. She saw the empty bowl of ice-cream sitting on my bedstand from last night and she totally caught me. “Hey, what’s that bowl of ice-cream doing over there?!???!?!”. She giggled when I told her that not only did I have ONE bowl of ice-cream last night, but I had TWO bowls….. we were both laughing together at that.

I showered while she hung out in my room.

Chocolate Tuesday! Kids were loving it. Chocolate Nutella was everywhere. Twin Crazy and Red were sharing a butter knife and picking the chocolate goodness off of the knife together.

Big Bro was still sleeping, but when I told him it was Chocolate Tuesday he smiled and said he forgot about that. And, he was able to ride his bike today. So, he had lots of good reasons to get up this morning. He agreed and rolled out of bed.

I gathered the extra socks that daycare requested. I also made myself instant coffee. I styled my hair and put on make up.

I diapered the twins and kissed their faces. I consoled Twin Crazy for something that upset her. I helped Red get dressed. Big Bro was anxious about riding and I kept a careful eye on my watch to let him know when it was OK to get ready.

Twin Crazy and Twin Husky had fun in the front seat of the van while we were getting our things together. Twin Husky wanted to sit in Big Bro’s car seat to feel like a big kid so I let him.

All drop offs were fine. We were ahead of schedule.

So now I’m on the ferry and still a bit tired, and extremely hungry. I’m looking forward to a real big coffee and maybe a chocolate croissant. I love my new office. There are so many things nearby – banks, drug stores, lunch spots, people. Activity. Movement.

I will have a lot of work to do today but honestly I have 4 hours of back-to-back meetings. How do you get work done when your time is spent like this? And I know that there are to-do’s that will come out of these meetings so that just adds on the work load. Our forums our exactly one month away so this is crunch time. I have 5 presentations to personally prepare for and deliver during these forums, speakers to still secure, speakers to coordinate logistics, presentations to review, and communications to make sure occur between the participants and the presenters. In addition to this, I also have a client project to manage, and the end of the project will occur AT THE SAME TIME. Seems like too much, right? I agree.

I am feeling good, I think that putting on nice clothes and having hair and make up done help. I feel like a person. I’m looking over at the ex on the ferry and his eyes are closed. Typical. I’m not missing anything from that relationship. So much about him was so hard to reach. So unknown. So much unsaid. I’m sure he feels but does not express and avoids any kind of conflict. He’d rather just close his eyes and dream it away.

Highlights of My Working Day:
Busy! Back in the office which was great!

I got in and responded to some emails

Conference call for a potential business opportunity

Internal meeting regarding our sales pipeline and initiatives; I gave all updates on what I’m pursuing and the team seemed energized on the opportunities

Meeting to sync with conference planning on one of the forums

Team meeting regarding to client project and other data to gather; billing and invoicing

I spent time with outreach to speakers and potential members. Will likely have to do some work this evening.

I’m tired, but looking forward to the kids. I hope tonight’s bedtime routine is not as bad as last nights.

Dinner and Bedtime:

I picked up Red first, then Twin Crazy and Twin Husky. Twin Husky wanted to sit in Big Bro’s seat. Twin Crazy was crying for her baby, whom she was missing all day today. We then went to pick up Big Bro, and then followed him (5 mph, with hazard lights on) along the slow streets to our house.

I cooked dinner and the kids were playing really hard together. Lots of laughing and no crying! No-one being mean!!! They were just having a really good time with each other!

Together we all took a short walk to the mailbox to get the mail.

After dinner I did some horsie-back rides with all of the kids; also some airplane rides and flips.

I was with Big Bro and Red tonight; we picked out clothes, read our books, and they were in bed by 8 PM. So far Red is not crying. So far so good.

I am so tired today. I feel crushed, physically and mentally. I feel like I need to relax but it is almost impossible to do so. Between big work meetings coming up, and things with the divorce, it is extremely hard for me to just decompress and unwind.

Til tomorrow –
– Mama K

Filed Under: Daily Journal Tagged With: meetings, parenting, play, rough housing, tired, working mom, working mother

March 19: Power Day! No, roller coaster day….

March 19, 2012 by Mama K Leave a Comment

This was an AWESOME day. It just all sortof came together – very busy, but very smoothe. Update: no, it ended on a really sour note. Blech.

Highlights of the Morning and Commute:

Twin Crazy was excited about bringing her bouncy, laughing, jumping doll to daycare. She was also excited about bringing her new backpack (thank you Nana!).

All kids ate quickly, and got dressed AOK. No problems. No issues. No crying over socks. No crying over shirts. Their clothes were out, their favorites were clean.

Even though Big Bro lost his bike riding privelege this AM, he did not put up a fuss. He knew that he wasn’t able to ride and just dealt with it. There was no whining about it, which I was grateful for.

We all got ready so quickly that we all took the same van together for drop offs. We dropped of Twin Crazy and Twin Husky first, then Big Bro, then daddy off at the ferry station, and then I dropped off Red, solo. We looked at the rainbow that her class painted and I had to take turns with her to get a picture of her with it.

I got back home and started my working day – ate breakfast, cleaned up a bit, and got my computer and phones out. I was ready to begin.

Highlights of the Working Day:

I reviewed a client presentation that we gave today. There were a few changes that needed to be made before we could present it to the client.

I must have reached out to 20+ people to confirm partipation, speaking spots, etc. I confirmed topic and focus areas with the clients of one forum.

There were lots of emails to trouble-shoot today.

I started to get ready for my client presentation. Hair dry, make up, suit. I got my lunch ready – 2 cheesesticks and a Pepsi. I got my car phone charger and also my ear bud microphone. I listened to Metallica on the car ride until I had to turn it off to get ready for a conference call.

I had a conference call on my drive to the client as a status check for one meeting in April we are spear-heading. I finished the call in the parking lot of the client office building.

We had our interim review with the client and they seriously love us. I presented the work and it was very much “work together” – bringing the boss up to speed on the analysis, discussing highlights from interviews, and working with them to think through initial scenarios to run with our market sizing model. We mapped out what we will be able to deliver by next Tuesday’s status meeting and I believe that we continue to impress them with the analysis, thinking, and teaming along the way.

I drove back home and blasted heavy metal. Scorpions. Tesla. I felt alive.

I got home right at 5 PM and had time to switch to the mini-van. I went to pick up all the kids and start my 2nd shift.

Dinner and Bedtime:

All pick ups were great; I gave them a snack while I cooked dinner. Dinner was ready shortly after 6 PM and they ate really well. I made a trip with them to the mailbox while dinner was finishing up. Red ate 6 pieces of broccoli.

Afterwards the kids played, I folded laundry, got the Twins changed.

Twin Husky now points to the part of his head where he wants me to kiss him. So cute.

Twin Crazy started wearing my shoes around; Twin Husky started wearing Red’s summer flip flops.

I talked with Big Bro about numbers and infinity and how there is no last number. I can’t believe I’m getting into these discussions with him already. He’s not even 6 years old.

Big Bro also wanted to talk about dolphins. How he knew why they jump in the air… to play, and to breathe. He’s right. I asked him where he learned that. He said he just was thinking about it.

He also wrote a note to a leprachaun telling him to come in for some gold and a surprise. He said that he was going to catch him and laughed.

Red wanted airplane rides but wanted my pajama bottoms to be pulled to my ankles since I didn’t shave my legs. They all hate the stubble on my legs when I rough-house with them.

I did bedtime routine with Twins – Twin Crazy has gotten into a routine of wanting to kiss her brother. I first would dangle her over his crib, and then put her inside his crib where they lay together and laugh and blow kisses. So cute. When I put her in her own crib she was really upset, calling for her brother. So sweet.

Big Bro was hiding in the Twin’s room, not wanting to start bedtime routine.

Red had a hard time with bedtime routine tonight. It’s almost 9 PM and its still not over….

[Note; 8:30 PM: OMG Red is screaming right now and daddy is on night-time routine. He just lets her scream and come downstairs to me. He just ignores her and reads to Big Bro and lets her come down here to me… what happens when I am not here? Are these kids going to be screaming and ignored? She keeps running down here. OMG it is now 9:08 and she is screaming for me. I couldn’t take it anymore. I went up at 9:10 and talked to her and settled her in bed. I talked to her about her breathing and how I sometimes have a hard time going to sleep. I talked to her about relaxing her arms, shoulders, fingers, elbows, legs, etc. I said I would come back in 2 minutes to check back on her and I did. Now I’m in the middle of a “4” minute check in and writing this. I’m listening to her sighing in the monitor – knowing that he will never have the patience for this and that these kids will need me now more than ever.]

So this is the roller coaster I live. Seriously. I spent 95% of the daytime feeling on top of the world. Kids were cooperative, playful, intelligent, ebbing and flowing with me. Work was great. I was jamming on things that needed to get done, multi-tasking, getting revved up for a client presentation, and knocking their socks off. I felt alive on the drive home and happy. I ran to get my kids to embrace the balance that I need. They were happy, jumping, playing with me and playing with each other. They were engaging and I felt proud of them….

… and then bedtime. And Red. And screaming. And prying her off of me.

I can’t wait to get out of this house – I can’t stand to hear it anymore. I need to know that we are doing the right thing by these kids given this situation and this does not feel right to me. This is sink or swim. And I can’t stand to see my kids sinking, and flailing, and standing by without doing anything. This is the worst possible situation to be in. Force the separation for what you think is best in the long run, but I don’t believe in that long run scenario. And she was happy today but in pieces tonight. And I was pumped all day today, and feel defeated tonight.

The end of the school year cannot come fast enough for me. We just have a lot of ground to cover between now and then. I am ready for it and ready to be there for my kids and fight for them along the way.

Til tomorrow,
– Mama K

Filed Under: Daily Journal Tagged With: client presentation, divorce, emotions, infinity, parenting, shoes, tantrums, twins, working mom, working mother

Staying Sane: Read

March 18, 2012 by Mama K 8 Comments

“We should read to give our souls a chance to luxuriate.” – Henry Miller

I remember several years ago when Big Bro ALWAYS had problems going to sleep at night. He would either fight with us or play or talk or sing himself to sleep. That issue seemed to fix itself when he stopped taking afternoon naps and now, falls into bed exhausted. He often is snoring as Red is still awake. I remember my mother talking to him about it and saying that she sometimes reads books to help her relax to go to sleep. He replied back to her that “I guess I’m just going to have to sing until I am able to learn how to read.” I thought that response was so cute. And now we’re on the cusp of him having to be able to do this… he’s reading beginner books from school and is also busy learning how to write. I’m excited that we have books to rely on if he becomes difficult at bedtime. And maybe I’ll get him a booklight for his birthday in May.

Well, now Red has been our “problem child” in terms of transitions and sleep. I’ve been writing about this for several days/weeks now, since it’s hard to ignore when you feel like you’re dealing with a newborn again – one who refuses to sleep at night and also wakes up in the middle of the night. It’s difficult trying to manage this while co-parenting since we likely have different approaches. She got used to holding a hand (which did not come from me, but was still something that I’ve had to deal with). Over time Red and I have started with a consoling “rock” to sleep and have migrated to a quick “rock” and then me watching her, and then leaving her to come back and check on her, to last night….. I suggested that she look through a book to help her relax. She decided on a “princess” book and she obliged my request. She lay in her bed, quiet and still, while holding and leafing through a book looking at pictures and likely re-telling the story to herself inside her head. She drifted off to sleep by herself. She is having a problem with nap time now and I again suggested a book. So sweet. She is flipping through the pages, relaxing her body, and is close to sleep. [Update: She is now snoring. Books by her side.]

And I’m sure many if not all of us have instituted a nighttime ritual with our children of reading a short story or book before their bedtimes. It winds them down. It signals a break from their day. It is quiet and engaging and peaceful.

*****

So for working mothers: When is the last time YOU’VE actually read a book? I mean from beginning to end? And not an article about baby food or pediatrician advice or anything baby related, child related, or pregnancy related? Or even Blogs. I mean a good old fashioned hardcover, softcover, or maybe iPad or Kindle version of words into sentences into stories…..???!?!?!?!?!?!?!? I know that our time during the day is an issue. I recognize that. But for those that are not imbibing in the written word maybe there’s a way to make the time at the end of the day? Or maybe sneak in some time during a commute to work? Maybe the trick is to find books with short chapters, or short sub-chapters, or simple easy to digest books? Or are downloadable books really the way to go?

Over the last two years I’ve read lots on kids, babies, even some People mags…. but there have been a few books that have made my list as well:

– The Twilight Series. All four books. A very easy read and I personally love vampires. The only thing about this was that it was extremely difficult to relate to the high-school characters. I had a hard time dealing with the petty drama that came along with the characters but overall, it was entertaining.
– The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo series by Stieg Larsson. I highly recommend these. Short chapters. Interesting story. Interesting, likeable characters. You can squeeze in 10 minutes at the end of each day and make progress through the books since the writing is easy to follow and the sub-chapters are short and manageable.

– Ann Rice Vampire books – these were heavier in terms of writing style but extremely enjoyable reads. Again, my vampire facination is coming out a bit so you’re seeing a part of me that is new.

I’m thinking about looking into the True Blood novels next.

So anyway, I’m finding through my kids and through myself that reading does relax. It obviously transports you into a different world which can be a godsend when times seem too difficult to navigate. Escaping in a good book, or at least an easy book, might be the cheapest medicine (and therapy) one can buy.

What are you Mamas out there reading? Any suggestions for other Mamas on books that you think are easy to get through and worth a try to keep you calm and centered?

Thanks for listening –
– Mama K

Filed Under: Staying Sane Tagged With: Anne Rice, happiness, read, relax, sleep, Stieg Larsson, vampires, working mom, working mother

March 27: Lots of rain but no heat.

March 26: Stealing time

Staying Sane: Playdough on a Rainy Day

March 23: bedtime

Recipe: Sweet, Salty, and Sour Marinade

March 22: Museums and milkshakes

March 21: Big milestones!!!

March 20: Feeling too old for horsie-back rides

March 19: Power Day! No, roller coaster day….

Staying Sane: Read

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