working mom – Mama In Motion™

Staying Sane: Friendship

February 5, 2012 by Mama K 1 Comment

Our lives can be so hectic between kids, work, and issues big and small all around us — pausing and connecting with friends has kept me sane this weekend. And also seeing the budding friendships between my kids.

Saturday

I woke up to Big Bro and Red laughing. They decided to swap bodies from Star Wars’ R2-D2 and C-3P0 and were cracking up. Big Bro and Red went with me to the library and they were buddies picking out books together. Later that day, I took all four of them visit a friend who goes back several lifetimes ago in my life — I used to work with her during my 2nd job out of school, when in NYC. She is one of those kind of people you never forget. You don’t know quite what to make of her when you first meet her – if you can even understand her (she is Scottish) – but within minutes you realize what a special and genuine person she is. Smart, funny, quick on her feet. She is a keeper. Despite not seeing her for just under 20 years, when she moved out West last year we met up and it felt like time did not go by – except we brought all of these little humans into the world.

Well, the kids and I went to her home to visit with her family and for the first time I met her 12 year old daughter (towering over me) and reunited with her husband and son. We also met their dog, rabbit, and guinea pig. The kids had a great time and I had a great time for other reasons. I felt at home even having been at their place for the very first time. For being around people where I share a common past; being with people who are easy going and welcoming and where I know I can create future laughs with. This felt good to me. It felt right. And I felt good road-tripping with the four kiddos who were so well behaved and so enraptured by the animals.

Sunday

In the morning I met Red and Big Bro resting quietly on the couch; then they erupted with feet fights and giggles. A great way to start my day. Big Bro got hurt when Red accidently stepped on his hair – and Twin Crazy sat with me and caressed his head to console him. Friendship. So sweet. They are empathetic at such a young age. I love it.

A shared the day with Twin Crazy and Twin Husky, along with one of my closest friends here, whom I also work with. We shared our first day of work together, almost 8 years ago. Since then, we have laughed and participated in bachlorette parties, weddings, pregnancies, back to work blues… you name it. I confided in her and one other person 100% through all of 2011. She cried with me in my office through the year. She understands me and believes in me.

We spent the day with her picnicing, going to playgrounds, and feeding ducks. Twin Crazy fell in love with my friend’s son, or at least scored her first boyfriend. The connection between the twins was sweet and endearing – again we received lots of looks. At night I had a quiet evening with Twin Crazy and Twin Husky. Bathtime was quiet, and they enjoyed each other.

*****

So thank you to all of my friends from the weekend and also everyone who have been reaching out to me. It means a lot. I am O.K. I am strong enough to rebuild. But I ache for my children – so put your thoughts there. And thank you to my friends near and far, and those that I have not seen in awhile, those whom I’ve had for a very long time and those whom I’ve met just recently.

And thank you to the children who show me every day what it means to be a friend – laughing, taking care of each other, sometimes being frustrated but in the end always being there.

So in staying sane don’t forget who your friends are in the midst of your busy lives. You may reach out to someone when they need you the most!

Have a good week everyone –
– Mama K

Filed Under: Staying Sane Tagged With: friends, friendship, parenting, working mom, working mother

February 3: Scooters and Sailing

February 3, 2012 by Mama K 1 Comment

Friday. My day with Twin Husky and Twin Crazy. My day in the morning with Big Bro, with his scooter. My day where I can pick up Big Bro early, and also Red – or just keep her home altogether. I love these days. It makes a difference for me. And for the kids too. Some highlights:

Twin Husky loves jumping in the air while I change him. He was really lifting off with his legs and was cracking up as I was lifting him up, and up, and up, and up….
Twin Crazy is still trying to use the potty. She tries hard, and we encourage her. The look on her face is so sweet.
I strolled the Twins and Big Bro scootered to school. We were running late so we missed the Motley Crew. Big Bro was excited about that – he likes going to school with us alone. I noticed a confidence in him this morning. The way he coasted, the way he maneuvered side to side, the way he wore his backpack while scootering. He is growing up. He is pushing himself. Finding himself. And I am glad to be able to watch it all and take it in.
Twin Crazy and Twin Husky were cute today. They both for some reason were more needy today than usual. I took them and rocked with them, until they were ready to get down. I had to do this several times today, particularly with Twin Husky. He was also having trouble with his tigers. He’s in a stage now where he’s putting things in bags – and he tries to shove these tigers and also some baby dolls in a bag and they just don’t fit. It drives him mad.
I decided to pick up Red and Big Bro and go sailing. We all packed up our snacks and our things and headed to the ferry. We took a cruise to nowhere. Just got on the boat, stayed on the boat, and then headed back. The guys on the ferry know our family. We also got lots of attention from commuters. I always get compliments about the kids when we are out. Of course I always get the “you got your hands full” but I always get the comments about how good the kids are. And how good they are with each other. We had a great trip and we talked about the boats, the birds, the bridge, where the pilot sits, what would happen if the boat would sink, the city, the commuters….on and on.

I am feeling crushed and scared. My life and the lives of my kids could be decided by strangers. It is impossible for them to see into our worlds and what I am able to do with all four of these kids together. I take them out and get comments that I make it seem easy. I feel at peace with them. I feel proud of them. I feel strong with them. And I know that I do right by them. And all I can do at this point is keep it together, fight hard, and hope for the best.

Have a great weekend everyone –
– Mama K

Filed Under: Daily Journal Tagged With: divorce, ferry ride, part-time, scooter, working mom, working mother

February 2: Sand, balance beams, and first words

February 2, 2012 by Mama K 1 Comment

Thursday. My day off with the children. I’ve been busy so far, and the day is only 1/2 over….

Highlights of the Morning and Commute:

Red got changed into her new Dora outfit and was so excited. She then helped Twin Crazy get dressed. Big Bro was excited to wear his new T-shirt. He was also excited that it is my home day. He wanted to scooter into school today.

We all get ready really quickly. All kids ate and got dressed without a problem. Shoes on, socks on, no issues! I loaded Twin Crazy and Twin Husky into the stroller, and Big Bro got himself suited up for his scooter ride. I gave Red a big kiss goodbye and told her I would pick her up early.

We met up with the Motley Crew on the way to school. The Twins were so cute in their stroller. They sit there quietly sucking their thumbs, looking around, and looking at all the dogs. Big Bro did great on the scooter. There were no falls this time so I think his confidence is back.

After drop off, I took Twin Crazy and Twin Husky to a playground. Along the way we talked about trees, roots, saw dogs, and cars. At they playground they climbed up HUGE structures, pushed some swings, and played with sand. They are good with wiping their hands and not throwing sand. We talked about how to try not to get sand in your eyes. We had snacks. We had a great time but then it was time to go back since Twin Crazy had a water spill on her pants and got cold.

When we got home I gave them baths. They love the bath. Twin Crazy was cute scrubbing Twin Husky’s back. And Twin Husky was cute shampooing Twin Crazy’s hair.

We then did some laundry together since we had sand everywhere. They love to help. We talked about the water, the soap, and how the machine spins around to clean their clothes. It was so cute how they both sat together listening and learning. And how Twin Husky was holding on to his sister. I couldn’t get over the cuteness.

Snacktime! Grapes.

We then did some art activities. Stickers. Twin Crazy is really good at getting the stickers off by herself. Twin Husky needs some help. I tried to teach him how to bend the sticker on its edge so he could use his fingertip to get the sticker off. He kindof got it but not really. Then they added some coloring/markers on top of their sticker project. Twin Crazy was making funny faces at me.

Lunchtime!

A few minutes of playtime while I folded laundry. Then we read books and they took a nap. I cleaned up a bit and ate some lunch – leftovers – the story of my life.

Now I’m typing this up in Big Bro and Red’s room, right next door to them. I need to have them up by 2:45 PM so I can pick up the others – I signed them up for a gymnastics class today and am curious as to how that will go.

I’m having a fun day. We did so much already. And I feel like I can get things done around the house while they play; they kind of hover around me. If I’m folding laundry we’re still talking with each other as they are playing next to me. If I need to go somewhere else in the house I have these two little ones following me around. They really like to help and they are THIRSTY for looking and seeing everything I do. And Twin Crazy is adamant about doing things herself. And they are even cuter when they smell good and are freshly bathed. There’s nothing like holding a clean kid.

The funny thing though about these days is that I still have my mind on work. I think it’s because I know that we won that client project and that my time is going to be stretched thin. My phone also gets personal as well as work emails. So it “bings” and I’m checking email throughout the day. But I need to. I can’t be “off the grid”. I need to be available in case something urgent comes up. I need to make this arrangement a success for me as well as my company. So I never really let go of the reigns of work.

I’m also obviously thinking about the divorce. And the process. And the money involved. And how I wish we were just going through mediation without having the courts and lawyers involved. But I didn’t start it this way – so am forced to follow. The uncertainty is unsettling. This is my life but so much will be dictated to me. I just want what is best for my kids. If I can trust this process to trust that things will be decided that is in their best interest, then I can live with that.

After Naps:

Off we went! We picked up Big Bro first, and then Red. They were excited about going to the gymnastics class. They were a little bit reserved at first, but then they had a blast balancing, jumping, flipping…. at first I even had Twin Crazy and Twin Husky with me as Big Bro and Red were warming up. They loved running around and walking on the low balance beam.

We then went home and had some quiet time. I set Twin Crazy and Twin Husky up with some paper and markers. And Big Bro did his homework with me. HE READ ME A STORY!!!! THE FIRST ONE EVER!!! I AM SO PROUD!!!! I then read two other stories to him from the same book. I am still stunned.

The kids then played as I made home-made pizza. They were a bit grumpy towards the end so thankfully the food was ready and they all ate really well.

There was some more playing, then clean up, then bedtime. Twin Crazy and Twin Husky were counting. Big Bro read the entire book to me and Red – all 3 stories. Red had a hard time going to sleep and needed to hug me and rock with me and hold my hand.

It was an amazing day. I feel like all the kids are growing and developing so fast – they are changing it seems daily. I then feel like 3 are moving forward but one (Red) is regressing a bit. I think she understands more than what she lets on. I worry about her.

It was such a great day with great moments with each of the kids. I am still shocked that Big Bro is a “reader”. He is so excited and proud of himself too. I want that feeling to last for him for a long time.

Til tomorrow –
– Mama K

Filed Under: Daily Journal Tagged With: gymnastics, parenting, part-time, playground, reading, working mom, working mother

Recipe: Chicken Breasts with Tomato-Herb Pan Sauce

February 2, 2012 by Mama K 2 Comments

I was going through an old Bon Appetit magazine and I came across a recipe that I must confess, I have not tried, but I think it has potential in the homes of busy working mamas. See what you think and let me know!

*****

“2 servings. They key to this saute: cook the tomatoes with the bits of chicken left over after you’ve seared it in the pan. When the tomatoes burst, swirl in the remaining marjoram butter to finish the pan sauce.”

Ingredients:

2 Tbsp. (1/4 stick) unsalted butter, room temperature
1 garlic clove, minced
1.5 tsp. chopped fresh marjoram or oregano
1/2 tsp. sweet paprika
Kosher salt and freshly ground black pepper
2 skinless, boneless chicken breasts
2 cups mixed cherry tomatoes (11 – 12 oz)
1 Tbsp. chopped fresh flat-leaf parsley

Directions:

Mash butter, garlic, marjoram, and paprika in a small bowl to blend. Season marjoram butter to taste with salt and pepper.
Melt 1 Tbsp. marjoram butter in a medium heavy skillet over medium heat.
Season chicken with salt and pepper.
Add chicken to skillet, cover, and cook until no longer pink in the center, about 5 minutes per side.
Transfer chicken to a plate. Tent chicken with foil to keep warm.
Increase heat to high. Add tomatoes to skillet and cook, stirring occasionally, until they begin to char and burst, about 5 minutes.
Add remaining marjoram butter to skillet. Crush tomatoes slightly to release juices; stir 1 minute
Season sauce to taste with salt and pepper. Spoon over chicken. Garnish with parsley.

Prep time: 10 min

Cook time: 20 minutes

source: Bon Appetite, July 2011

Filed Under: Recipes Tagged With: boneless chicken breasts, cherry tomatoes, chicken, freshly ground black pepper, herb, parenting, quick recipe, recipe, tomato, working mom, working mother

February 1: Breakdowns

February 1, 2012 by Mama K 1 Comment

Today is so unusual for so many reasons! Right now I am working in an Audi dealership, where our car is being serviced for a recall. They have comfy couches, a starbucks coffee machine, and snacks. I love it (for now). I’m working 1/2 day and will have the kids in the afternoon.

Highlights of the Morning and Commute:

I woke up tired this morning. Last night, at 1 AM, I heard Red crying through the “kid monitor” (a baby monitor that we call “kid monitor” so I can hear them in the night while they are upstairs and I am downstairs in the guest room). I went to her. I couldn’t understand what the problem was. She was pushing me away. I finally just grabbed her and picked her up. She had peed herself. So I got her changed, said it was OK, and stripped her bed. It was too wet for her to sleep off to the side. She wanted to sleep in Daddy’s room so I brought her in there.

It was a typical morning, kids eating and getting dressed, while Big Bro slagging behind. I think it would help if we had a fourth stool – but at this point I’m not going to go ahead and buy anything – unless it’s out of “family funds” and we are short on cash flow at the moment.

Twin Crazy wanted to put her socks on and off, and also tried to put Red’s pajamas on over her own. She did the same with a pair of Red’s underwear.

NO LUNCHES FOR RED! Starting today at her daycare, they are providing snacks and lunches. So no lunchbox for her! YEAH! (Although she did adore her Dora lunchbox, recently purchased).

Big Bro was still sulking about his Legos. We had to go to the mailbox together to check that they were not in there. I asked Daddy to please talk to Big Bro about when they will be delivered so that Big Bro can at least set his expectations. These tantrums every single day is draining on me and he should have been told this up front. He does fine when he at least knows what day the items will arrive.

Drop offs were fine. Red and I dropped off Big Bro and I lifted her up to the window so she could see how Big Bro takes out his lunchbox, picks out a snack for the basket, and then goes into his classroom. Red and I walked together to the car for her drop off.

There was a lizard “dragon” in her class today. He is the pet of one of the teacher’s sons. It was so cute to see all of the kids circling around the lizard. As soon as Red walked into the room her friends started telling her about the dragon. It seems like she has a lot of “friends” there in her class. It was so cool. It ate a mouse last night. I’m thinking a “dragon lizard” will not be my pet of choice for the kids in the future.

As I was leaving Red’s pre-school the Associate Director asked me if everything was OK. I guess the look on my face said it all. I’m worried about the kids. I’m seeing some effects on Red already. She is so clingy. She peed her bed last night. And things didn’t even really get started yet for our family. I am still in the same house with them. We are not shuffling back and forth. I just sat with this woman and cried for a bit, feeling for the kids and telling her that they don’t know anything yet so it will just get worse for them, but I would keep them in the loop with everything so that they can help support Red if/when she needs it.

So now I’m at the Audi dealership, waiting for a recall servicing. There are limited outlets so electricity may be an issue. I hope I am productive today at work. I need this job. I need to get things done today. My goal is the meeting minutes for the planning meetings for the Forums – I need to get a jump on planning those meetings because I have 2 other initiatives to push forward and it looks like we will be starting a project soon….. so, I need to take advantage of this time BEFORE the project starts or else I will be crushed [I can’t let that happen].

Highlights of My Working Day:

Just check out this setup!!!!

I did some sales outreach for a forum we are launching, and also followed up with a client who we prepared a proposal – it is in a holding pattern due to a corporate-wide reorganization. So we’ll have to be patient.

We won the project from the power-meeting I went to two weeks ago. We start on the 13th. Oh shit. Now I’m going to get busy….. I don’t know whether to be happy for job security or cry. I just need good staff to work the project – otherwise I get crushed. So fingers crossed…

I don’t remember what else I did today. I don’t think I was very productive for work. I will likely work tonight a bit to feel good about my day.

Rest of the Day:

I picked up Big Bro at 1:30. We ran an errand, and then we went to Ross. He’s been rejecting all of his shirts recently and wanted Star Wars shirts. They had Lightening McQueen so we grabbed two of them and he is happy. While we were there I saw a cute Dora princess outfit for Red so got that for her.

We then went to pick up Red; from there we went to pick up their ceramic sculpture paintings from the other day. Red’s “Angry Bird” bank is toooo cute. Big Bro liked his truck.

We stopped at Trader Joe’s quickly and Big Bro had a melt-down. Full fledged. I never saw one like that from him in public before. He was just too tired I guess. Too much running around. I got some stuff and left quickly.

We picked up Twin Crazy and Twin Husky at 4:00. We went home and played. Big Bro put together a new Star Wars Lego set all by himself (and was in a MUCH better mood). Twin Husky, Twin Crazy, and Red were playing stickers. And doing manicures with kid nail polish. We played trains. We played cooking. They ran around and I tickled them. Red was pretending that I was shopping and she was the employee and I had to sign to buy things from her.

We had a great dinner of fish, quinoa, peas, tomatoes and cheese. Everyone ate well. The kids really like fish.

Afterwards we played some more – Twin Husky loves the trains and Twin Crazy loves interrupting his play. Twin Crazy worked on puzzles. She went 1/2 poop in the potty. Twin Husky walked around with a huge bag filled with stuff – a bag man.

Bedtime was cute. Red’s bed is clean. The older kids read quickly and talked about the day. I held Twin Crazy for a bit in dark and rocked her. Twin Husky was patting some dolls in his bed and asked me to cover all of them.

I’m in my room, listening to Big Bro and Red through the monitors. They talk about Legos and family members and about tricking each other and about poop. Then Big Bro eventually talks to me through the monitor: “Mommy, we’re going to sleep now.”. So cute. They know I am there listening to them. I say “I love you” from my room but I bet they can barely hear me since they are upstairs. I had a great afternoon with them.

Now I hear their slow breathing. They are asleep. I am close behind them.

Till tomorrow –
– Mama K

Filed Under: Daily Journal Tagged With: divorce, dragon, flex time, parenting, part-time, Ross, working mom, working mother

January 31: A very rough start of the day

January 31, 2012 by Mama K 1 Comment

Chocolate Tuesday! What a morning. Hated it. Absolutely hated it. I am so frustrated now as I type.

Highlights of the Morning and Commute:

3 breakfast kids (Twin Crazy, Twin Husky, Red) are busy eating their breakfast and enjoying chocolate Tuesday (Nutella with bread, tortilla, bagels, etc.).

Big Bro on the other hand, has trouble waking up, is whining from the first 30 seconds up, whining for his clothes, whining that he’s tired, wining that there’s no stool for him (I’ll give him that, we only have 3 stools), on and on and on….

We all broke into laughs (even Big Bro) when Twin Husky was waving around a HUGE banana. We were all cracking up. I want to post a picture but it could be interpreted as adult-rated…. you get the idea. Awh, here it goes:

Clothes changes went well, but we were running late.

I threw in a load of laundry.

Finding Big Bro’s jacket held us back a bit.

I dropped off Twins and Big Bro; I HAULED ASS to the ferry. The parking lot was full. I had 2 minutes. I circled the lot, over and over, in hopes that a spot would miraculously appear. The last time I did this I parked in handicapped parking at got a $335 ticket. So, the boat pulled away. Doesn’t the driver realize that we have four children to get ready, 3 drop offs, and we simply do not have time to get here an extra 10 minutes early to ensure we get on the boat???!??!?!?!??!?!

So now we are driving into the city. This ferry is the most unpredictable and unreliable source of transportation. Cancelations are frequent. And now this. Filling up. If you miss your boat, you wait 1 hour, unless its the 8:30 boat (which we take), and then you’re shit out of luck. That’s the last boat for the morning. SUCKS!!!

Anyway, I’m at least glad that I ate some breakfast this morning. I asked Big Bro and Red to remind me to eat this morning. They asked me last night why I don’t eat breakfast and wait until I get to work. I said, you know you’re right. I shouldn’t ask YOU to eat breakfast in the morning when I’M not doing it too…. that’s not right. I need to eat breakfast TOO. Remind me tomorrow, OK?” So they did. So I ate. So is that what it comes to? When I take the time in the morning for myself we wind up missing the ferry???? Ugggh.

Today at work should be good. I’m going to focus on planning for the 3 events I have going in April. I like this part. This is the looking forward, seeing what the day could be like, seeing what is possible, and beginning to pull the pieces together. And the office will be filled with people again. So I’m looking forward to that.

Highlights of My Working Day:

I had a reasonably good day. I hooked up my replacement computer, which gave me the opportunity to clean off my desk of all of the dust-bunnies all over my desk. It feels good to be clean and free of dust. I also found some old pictures of Big Bro (2 at the time) and Red when she was a baby. So cute.

I had a sell conversation for a client prospect for one of the forums we are trying to launch. It was only me on the call – and he is interested!!! He needs to socialize the concept internally and I will follow up with him in ~2 weeks to see if they would be interested in coming to a first meeting.

I also worked on marketing/communication materials to solicit interest to a forum we are thinking on launching. We’ve settled on target audience and now we just need to go to market and see what kind of response we get. I’m glad to have started that and sent off a first draft to our team/partners.

I also followed up with a set of stakeholders to see if they wanted to play a larger role in the initiative above – hopefully they agree.

Now I’m on the ferry, headed back to a car that is parked a long way away from the parking lot. I can’t wait to see the kids. I didn’t have enough time with them last night. I have chicken defrosting in the refrigerator so they will have a good dinner. I’m looking forward to tonight.

Dinner and Bedtime:

Pick ups for all kids went fine. We were home, shoes off, jackets off, etc. by 5:30. Even Twin Crazy can now take her jacket off by herself and put it in the closet. She was so proud of herself tonight. She is so independent and can do so much by herself already.

I made tandoori chicken with yogurt tonight – this time with boneless chicken breasts which I highly recommend. I had all kids by myself. NO MOTHER’S HELPER (we need to find a replacement). For some reason, all kids were crying at some point during the dinner preparation. Twin Husky over train tracks, Big Bro about not getting his Lego set in the mail, Red under the table crying for I don’t know what reason, and Twin Crazy because of a bite incident from Twin Husky over the train tracks. It was nuts.

Everyone started to settle down after dinner started hitting their bellies.

After dinner, I did a quick cleanup, ran the dishwasher, and got the kids to clean up all of their toys before sitting down to watch some Spongebob together.

Twin Husky preferred to play by himself and build with Legos.

I played with Twin Husky as he pushed his kid stroller with his Tigers towards me, and then I pushed it back to him. We kept doing this over and over and this little guy was having so much fun. We were both laughing.

Twin Crazy had fun “eating” my nose and also Red’s nose. So cute.

We had a grape snack and then off to bed.

It was a good day with the exception of the ferry and the dinner prep. I’m feeling good today. Work was good and productive which gave me some balance. I’m looking forward to tomorrow where I’ll get to spend time with Big Bro and Red. They’re already looking forward to it. I hear them now on the monitor and they’re not talking… they’re trying to go to sleep. So sweet.

Till tomorrow –
– Mama K

Filed Under: Daily Journal Tagged With: flex time, nutella, parenting, part-time, working mom, working mother

January 30: Am I going Up or Down??!?!?!?

January 30, 2012 by Mama K 5 Comments

Monday. It was a usual. No major breakdowns which was great.

Highlights of the Morning and Commute:

I woke up early and headed up to the kids. Each got to bed early the night before so they all seemed well rested this AM.

I can’t really think of any particular highlights. Things just kindof flowed. The 3 ate, Big Bro was a bit tougher to get started. But the older kids got dressed and were cooperative. Clothes were prepared, bags were packed, jackets were out, shoes were gathered. It just sort of worked.

Red helped Twin Crazy get dressed into clothes since Twin Crazy said that her PJs were dirty. We taught her about “tags” and how they go into the back of the clothes. She was patient and she listened to what Red and I were teaching her. I loved that. Twin Crazy listening, Red instructing, and then Red having Twin Crazy do it by herself. It was wonderful. I love the interaction between these sisters (at least at this point in time….). I think they are at a point where they can share shirts. So I think my project over the weekend will be to cull down all shirts that are on the smaller side for Twin Crazy and consolidate all shirts between Twin Crazy and Red.

The split for drop offs was tough. Big Bro did not want to go with Daddy. I took Red and she arrived on the early side. Her teacher had painting set up for the kids since there were only a few of them. She had a hard time pulling away from me but I could tell from the look on her face and her eyes that she was looking forward to the painting activity.

Now I’m on the ferry. I brought with me my new eyeglasses that are a bit on the trendy side for me so I’ll see how I feel in them. It should be a reasonable day at work, I think. I need to type up the minutes to our planning meetings from last week for the two forums I am leading. I will need to start to reach out to guest speakers (and eventually guests for one of the meetings). I need to think through the realistic possibilities of our other forum we want to launch – I feel like we are tight on timing. Finally, I need to do admin things like performance reviews. They were due last week. I need to get something pulled together on that ASAP. OK. It actually looks like I am going to have a VERY busy day….

Highlights of My Working Day:

I had fun today. All of the directors are in town for a firm-wide Directors meeting. So I’m seeing people I have not seen in over a year. Other people shake hands. I give hugs. Yes, I give hugs to these people. That’s the way I feel about the company and about the people who work here.

I spent the majority of my day on technical isuses – my laptop screen broke off. So they are replacing it. So I needed a loaner computer. So I was not very efficient today.

I spent time doing performance reviews. They are a bit late. But at least I did them. I feel good about that. One was a “self review”. I feel good about the breadth of skillset that my new role can offer me – in terms of project management, client relationships, presentations, cultivating new sales opportunities, and being recognized internally as a leader in this function. I feel good about my self review for perhaps the first time in a very long time.

I spent some time on some personal things too, unfortunately. I go up and down. Today I was down looking at the financial picture. I honestly cannot afford to live where I live. I knew this. But now I am FEELING it.

So now I’m on a train to my appointment. I think I need to put a change in place to save on cost – I just don’t know. People all day were coming up to me and saying “I just don’t know how you are able to manage with the work and the family…. how DO YOU DO IT??!??!”. Don’t they realize that I can’t? I haven’t been able to? I was crushed? My marriage fell apart? We are divorcing??? Yes let me say it for the first time here, we are DIVORCING. And it will soon get WORSE for me in terms of financial and personal struggle???!?!?!? Am I going up or down? How can I do this??

How did I get myself here? All I wanted was to feel “normal” and to tone down the stress. I needed to scale back. I needed affordability. I needed a husband who understood. I needed to be with my children. And my kids needed me (and still do). Taking more time to care for the kids is still hard work – I knew that – I didn’t care if I was tired, but I needed to spend my time on the RIGHT things. I needed to REBALANCE my life.

But now I begin again… and yet so many decisions are left to be made and most of them will be thrust on me…. and how can I ever imagine being able to afford living in this part of the country as a single mom with four children???? And still be the mom I want to be???!?!??!?!??!??!?!?!?!?

Til tomorrow –
– Mama K

Filed Under: Daily Journal Tagged With: divorce, flex time, parenting, part-time, working mom, working mother

Staying Sane: LAUGH

January 29, 2012 by Mama K Leave a Comment

My “Staying Sane” series of posts have changed somewhat over time. At first I was trying to write about things or information that I thought would help the working mother in her very hectic life. Now, I find that I am writing about things that I am doing in my own personal life to help me get through the day – in in particular, the weekends. So yes, this is selfish of me. Yes, I know. But please bear with me. This is one of the only channels I have to express what I am feeling and going through right now. This weekend was divided, as it needs to be, but I felt like a child and crammed in some belly laughs along the way.

This weekend was filled with laughter – I had Twin Crazy and Twin Husky on Saturday morning, Big Bro in the afternoon, Big Bro and Red on Saturday evening, and most of the day with Big Bro and Red on Sunday.

Saturday:

Took Twin Crazy and Twin Husky on a “steam train” ride; they wanted to wear some goofy hats and had a good time; Twin Crazy was a bit scared but I had them with me and they clinged to me so I knew they were safe. They were busy looking around and I was busy hooting it up to get some excitement going.

Big Bro came with me to get some eyeglasses and he told me that I look strange in them.

He also came with me to go food shopping and he had fun picking out the fruits all by himself.

Big Bro, Red and I had movie night and Red was hysterical when sharing her popcorn with me. She would ask me how many I wanted, I would say three, she would give me two, and then both of us would CRACK UP. I guess you had to be there. During the movie I was busy folding laundry with the kids in the same room but Big Bro wanted me to sit in between them and watch the movie with him. He needs to be doing something with me — I am the same way (refer to Languages of Love post)

Sunday:

After feeding the kids and getting them dressed I headed off with Big Bro and Red – we went to the zoo. But, we never went INTO the zoo. Instead, we rode on the little amusement park rides just outside of the zoo. I rode on a “roller coaster”. Twice. I screamed and laughed. It was the fastest ride I’ve been on in 10+ years, I think. It was a baby roller-coaster. But I had fun. AND NO ONE CRIED!!!
We took a train ride and actually saw some animals.
I watched the kids on a spin-around ride and had to laugh just looking at their faces.

Afterwards we went to a birthday party at a gymnastics studio and I was one of the only parents jumping on the trampolines, jumping into the foam pit, etc. I LOVED IT.

So it was a weekend of laughter. My throat actually hurts (yes I have a cold, but I’d like to think the laughter had something to do with it).

I feel like this is a calm before the storm. The children, particularly the older ones, are more clingy than I would like to see. I know they can pick up on the tension. There were several times this weekend that Red just needed to be held, and rocked. She woke up sooooooo early this morning crying for me. I sat with her in my room on the floor, on the big fuzzy rug, and rocked with her. She wrapped her arms around me and played with my hair along my back. We sat in silence. And then we rested on the rug and waited for the others to wake up.

It kills me that the joy they have in their eyes will be tarnished somewhat in the near future. I want them to laugh uncontrollably and lose themselves in their laughter. To be kids. Not to suffer the feeling of loss or worse, think that they had ANYTHING to do with it. It kills me that these days of free laughter may be limited…. that somehow, they will forever be changed – being touched by loss and grief and that parts of their joy, innocence, and security will be damaged.

I will try my hardest to shield them from what I can; and prove to them that I am a mother they can all count on.

Til tomorrow,

– Mama K

Filed Under: Daily Journal Tagged With: divorce, laughter, parenting, separation, working mom, working mother

January 27: Good luck for the new year

January 27, 2012 by Mama K Leave a Comment

Today was a rushed morning – I have to go to work today for a client meeting relating to an initiative that we are trying to launch. So it was rushed this morning.

Highlights of the Morning and Commute:

I woke up early and got the Twins so I could be there for Twin Crazy for her to go potty. Again, no progress but I did say great job and we’ll try again tomorrow.

Big Bro came downstairs completely dressed all by himself. He was so proud. I gave him a long, strong hug.

Red had problems this morning. She seemed a bit out of it. I sat with her on the floor and hugged her and rocked with her for quite awhile. I love how she wraps her arms around me and plays with my hair. We rock in silence and this gives both of us a boost afterwards. But she still had difficulty getting dressed this morning – she didn’t like her shirt. I found her favorite butterfly shirt clean in the laundry and that worked for her.

Twin Husky was walking around with his pajamas half unzipped.

Twin Husky went into my room and turned on my radio. He came into the kitchen with a cute look on his face, knowing he was caught doing something wrong and playing with buttons. We went back into my room to turn off the music and said that it was no problem, the music is now off.

Drop offs went well. I’m looking forward to Red’s school’s Chinese New Year parade – families are welcome to see it. Red wants all of us to be there. I was at a minimum going to bring Big Bro, but she also wants Twin Crazy and Twin Husky to be there too.

Now I’m in a car traveling into the city for a work meeting with potential partners for a new initiative. Once we have this meeting we’ll be in a position to craft the language and solicit potential participation for the proposed meeting in April. So, this should be a good meeting and will give us a sense to move forward more quickly.

Highlights of My Working Day:

I don’t usually work on Fridays but came in today for one face-to-face meeting which I needed to be there for…

I got into the office and put make up on, and also pulled my hair into a loose bun with decorative clips – much more professional than my usual pony-tail. I am dressed to impress.

We had a 3 hour meeting about our potential initiative. We have the support of an industry leader. However, our focus and ideas on audience keeps changing. I am now getting a bit concerned about the timing. Can we pull this together and get the right commitment from presenters and attendees in less than 3 months time??!?!??! This is something I need to talk about internally on Monday. I feel like we have more questions than answers but want this meeting to be successful – getting the right focus and the right people will be critical to make this successful….

After the meeting we headed back home to see Red in her Chinese New Year Parade. I even wore a red suit jacket to help support the festivities. We were running way late. We rushed to pick up Big Bro but did not have enough time to pick up Twin Crazy or Twin Husky. Pity. If I had drove myself into the city I would have made it back in time to have all of us there.

The parade was so cute. I’ve been to these before. Each classroom comes out in their own set of decorations and theme – Red’s had music-maker tubes and paper plates that they were waving around. She looked a bit quiet but she did not cry. She held back her smiles when she saw me and Big Bro. So sweet. Afterwards they had a group of entertainers do a Dragon dance – they were good and I didn’t see many tears in the audience which was good. They threw to the audience tangerines and lettuce – for good luck. Big Bro was brave enough to be a scavenger and hunt for pieces of lettuce on the ground.

Dinner and Bedtime:

I stayed with Red and Big Bro at their request while daddy went to pick up Twin Crazy and Twin Husky. Red and Big Bro wanted me to stay back with them and play with play-dough. They asked me again what I wanted to eat and then worked away and making the stuff for me. Once the twins arrived, they got excited about the play dough too so all four of them were “cooking” with the stuff. At dinner, Twin Crazy brought a play-dough chicken leg with her and pretended to eat it. So cute. She cracks me up.

After dinner we played. I wrestled with Big Bro. I rough-housed with Red. I held Twin Crazy (who asked for “Mommy time” for the first time today!!!). I listened to their parade music and drums and danced to their music. I helped Twin Husky with his Tigers. I gave the kids chocolate milk for a Friday night treat.

I’m in my room now and am in mixed moods. I don’t know how I feel about the weekends anymore. We are dividing up birthday parties since Big Bro has two this weekend. I don’t know how to divide the rest of the time but it is best that I focus on the kids and not spend too much time around their father.

Have a great weekend all –
– Mama K

Filed Under: Daily Journal Tagged With: Chinese New Year parade, divorce, parenting, part-time, play dough, working mom, working mother

Recipe: Flat Meat

January 26, 2012 by Mama K 2 Comments

This is a repost — for some reason this entire post got lost off my blog – but I use this one ALL THE TIME so I wanted to repost it. I promise a new recipe for next week.

Flat Meat

OK guys – for those of you that know me, NO I am not talking about my boobs. But rather, an incredibly QUICK and easy way to get food on the table for the kiddos during the week.
What you need is the thinnest cut of meat — any kind of steak or pork — or, you can even “pound” chicken breast into thin, thin pieces. Takes about 4-5 minutes cooking on each side and you’re done. You can marinate before-hand, or not. I usually do with microwave veggies and a side of pasta. Sooooooooooooooo easy. You can easily do this recipe once a week and just rotate the meats/marinades, etc. to bring variety to the kids.

Ingredients:
Flat meat (pork, steak, pounded chicken). Note: a flank steak might not work well here since I think that cut needs to cook over a longer period of time to make it tender; when I do the steak I buy higher grade steak but buy it thinly cut.

Directions:

Heat an indoor griddle pan on your stovetop. We use a griddle pan with a ridged surface that sears foods with grill marks while allowing fat to drain away.

On high-ish heat, grill meat on each side, about 4-5 minutes each until cooked to your liking.

Prep Time: 5 min
Cook Time: 10 min

Filed Under: Recipes Tagged With: parenting, quick recipe, working mom, working mother

Staying Sane: Friendship

February 3: Scooters and Sailing

February 2: Sand, balance beams, and first words

Recipe: Chicken Breasts with Tomato-Herb Pan Sauce

February 1: Breakdowns

January 31: A very rough start of the day

January 30: Am I going Up or Down??!?!?!?

Staying Sane: LAUGH

January 27: Good luck for the new year

Recipe: Flat Meat

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