October 10: Funny disfunction — owies and flies

October 10, 2011 by Leave a Comment

Last night we went over to a friend’s house and NO ONE napped. So all kids were catching flies during the ride home as early at 6:30 PM. We carried them from the car to bed – this was the earliest bedtime ever for the kids and they all slept well. That meant that they all woke up well and full of energy – even Big Bro.

Highlights of the Morning and Commute:

  • I wake up to Red and Big Bro in our bed, laughing and playing. They woke up so early and were so playful. They play with my alarm clock and wing up turning it on at full blast, which they think is hysterical.
  • All of the sleep with all the kids leads to a VERY relaxed morning where there are NO tantrums and everyone is agreeable. Twins and Red eat cereal and Big Bro has a bagel. We are REALLY running out of food because we are going to leave for a 10 day vacation soon — but we have no bread (it is moldy), no jelly, no fruit, ….. let’s see how long we can stretch this out with a family of six.
  • Kids get dressed without a problem; Twin Husky has fun playing with choo-choo trains, putting the tracks together and linking up the trains. Twin Crazy has having fun drawing with a magnetic board.
  • I put in some laundry, pack up the bags, and get the car ready. I make some instant coffee. I am hungry this morning.
  • Everyone seems to be sneezing/sick which puts us back a bit, but we are still very early. since we are so early we all get into the van together and make all drop offs together.
  • 1st drop off: Red. She is there early and drop off is so smooth. She is such an outgoing kid. 2nd drop off: Twins. We have a lot of clothes and diapers and wipes and medicine with us today – just in case they need it. 3rd drop off: Big Bro. I take him to his lineup, he is excited for the day. He has goose-pimples and is cold (I know) but he doesn’t want to put on his sweatshirt. I guess he doesn’t think it’s cool. I need to take a better look around at what the other kids are wearing so I can get him a proper jacket. Hubby and I then make our way to the Ferry. The parking lot is not full – Columbus Day.

I’m now on the ferry and it is so gray; looks like it will rain. I have a lot of work to do in the next 3 days before vacation. I have preparation and still some speakers to secure for the next two big meetings – and I also have to close out some major things from the last two forums. I think these 3 days are going to be packed. I need to take a deep breath and plow through it — my four left feet are going away and I feel like I can attack this stuff without too much stress (hopefully).

I’m really looking forward to vacation. We’re heading to Florida where my father lives – I will get to spend more time with my family which I really need. And Red and Twin Crazy will be flower girls in a wedding which we are looking forward to. I hope they can do it OK without being too scared. I think they both have the personalities to do just fine. After the wedding we head to the beach for a week – and even though we have the kids I’m hoping to grab some thinking time, some reflective time. I need time to stand still and catch my breath.

Highlights of My Working Day:


Today was the kind of day where looking back, I wish I would have gotten more accomplished. I needed to settle back in the office from last week’s travels but not lose any momentum… I still have two meetings to organize (and fill dropped speaker spots) but also think through the last week of meetings and organize the next steps coming out of those meetings. There were some administrative distractions today as well which cut into my thinking-time. I think that if I hit the ground running tomorrow, I will be able to accomplish more – and I think that if I knock things out in the morning I will feel more productive and hopefully continue the traction throughout the day.

I’m on the ferry now headed home. I am tired. Very tired. I still don’t think I’ve caught up my sleep from last week. I am gearing up for vacation and still feel like I have so much to do at work and at home to prepare. I’ll try to start to pack tonight — I need to organize dressy clothes (wedding) as well as beach clothes for afterwards – and do this for 4 kids as well as myself. I’m going to start to do that tonight if I have the energy.

I’m looking forward to kid pick-up. I didn’t get a chance to do this at all last week so I’m looking forward to being in that role again.

Dinner and Bedtime:

Things were pretty crazy/funny at first. I was on my own and honestly, it was like a comedy routine in the house:

  • I pick up Big Bro and we both go over to pick up Red.  She has a little zip lock bag of snacks that they assembled at pre-school.   She asked to have something and I said it was OK for a little, but it would be good to share with Big Bro.  I thought she would share some pretzel sticks but she wound up picking the only cookie in the bag and then split it in half for her and her brother.  I thought that was so sweet.  Big Bro said “thank you” to her with conviction….   how sweet.
  • Big Bro shoots down my idea of home-made macaroni and cheese because he likes the job of mixing the powder cheese with milk.  As soon as I park the van and try to organize bags and our things, he swiftly gets two packages of boxed mac-n-cheese out and proceeds to open the boxes, dump the powdered cheese in a cup, and ask for milk so he can start stirring.   That kid is too independent for his own good.  I can’t believe he tricked me like that.
  • Twin Husky plays with train tracks and trains and gets frustrated.
  • For some reason, Big Bro decided to take off his jeans and walk around the house in his underwear.   This led to an accident in the house.   Big Bro and I were running around and horsing around, him saying that he wanted my keys, and me saying that I wanted some “peace”.   I started tickling him saying that I wanted “peace, peace, peace” while he wanted “keys, keys, keys” and his bare leg scraped against my rings — his poor leg was all scraped up and bleeding a bit.   All kids started to come over and look at his “owie”.  Twin Crazy even kissed him to make him feel better.  Big Bro, being very dramatic, was acting like he just broke his leg.  We put a band-aid on it and he wound up crawling over to the dinner table in his spot.
  • Twin Crazy saw a fly and continuously started to make scared, anxious sounds while running over to me and holding my legs for protection.
  • Twin Crazy and Twin Husky start fighting over a rocket ship scooter, and then a Barbie doll.  Twin Husky has trouble putting all of his “things” in the trunk of the rocket scooter and starts to get frustrated.
  • Twin Husky and Twin Crazy keep asking for more chicken but everything is gone.  I didn’t even eat anything yet.
  • Hubby comes home and starts chasing the fly with a dish towel – he came close two times
  • Twin Crazy starts serving herself more mac n cheese
  • Hubby takes out nectarines for dessert and starts to slice one.  Twin Husky is on his lap and steals the other nectarine and starts chowing down on it before Hubby has a chance.
  • Big Bro turns and asks me “why does my penis itch so much?”.   ??!?!?!??!?!?!?  I guess its time to take baths/showers tonight!
  • Twins run upstairs to take a bath when they hear this
  • Baths were uneventful
  • Bedtime routine was quick – these kids are tired.   Red wants her book read to her like she is the “teacher”.  I guess pre-school is really making a mark on her.
Red acting like her "teacher" during bedtime stories

Red acting like her "teacher" during bedtime stories

This Monday was relatively good.   The kids were great in the morning, work was not too hectic (compared to last week), and dinner/bedtime was extremely amusing, at least for me.  I really enjoyed myself with them tonight — even the dinner-time rush on my own and the craziness that all of it brings.   It feels good to be back.
Til tomorrow –
– Mama K
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Staying Sane: Pay for help!!!!

October 9, 2011 by 4 Comments

It seems that life these days is so much more complicated than it has to be.  When I was growing up, it seemed that life was less complex and we had a steady stream of visitors, neighbors, and relatives in and out of our house almost daily.  It seemed like we had that “live in a village” type of set up where folks helped each other out, and our family was all close-by.

Fast-forward 35 years.   People are more remote than ever – which has its pros and cons.   We are far away from both of our families and we live in a bigger city where we do not have that “village” community.  People tend to stick to themselves during the week.  Me and Hubby cannot rely on close family or friends to care for our kids (or care for us).  We also both work full-time — so everything falls on us.  And everything DID fall on us, until about a year ago when we came to terms with our situation and said THIS IS IMPOSSIBLE – we need to start delegating our load and paying for help.   I also wrote about how you shouldn’t expect to be able to do everything   and that you need to rely and team with your partner.    Well after these two important points, another way to “stay sane” is to think through EVERYTHING that can POSSIBLY be outsourced within your means and then cross those responsibilities off your list. Daycare is a tricky one since you likely have to work (I’ll talk about that in a separate post).  But think through what you do on a daily basis, weekly basis, monthly basis….. the task could be a candidate for outsourcing IF:

  • the task does not necessarily need to be done by you or your partner
  • having the task done by someone else will not impede your relationship building with any of your children or your partner
  • the task can be done quicker, faster, easier by someone else
  • the cost of outsourcing the task is worth the time it frees up — either for yourself, for you and your partner, or for you and your children
  • the cost of outsourcing the task is worth the convenience and/or improved quality of life it enables
  • you or your partner do not gain personal satisfaction with the task
  • your budget can allow for it; the cost of outsourcing is worth it compared to other things you could spend your money on

From our own household and talking with other working mothers, here are some ideas and approaches on delegating work loads and paying for help (obviously the reality will depend on your budget and tolerance for spending):

  • Housecleaning.
      • Find a housekeeper that is flexible — find one where you can call on them to clean your house when you want, and at whatever frequency you need. If you hire one less often, you will still need to the tidying between visits but the housekeeper can do the deep cleaning, dusting, special projects that you know you will never want to do.
      • Hire a younger college student to do the basic cleaning tasks you can’t keep up with (sweeping, mopping floors, cleaning the bathrooms). Post on “gigs” section of Craig’s List for this kind of help.
      • In our house, we hire a housekeeper about 1x a quarter (we need to go every other week I think. We have a Mother’s Helper who comes during week nights to help with dinner clean up, laundry, and general straightening up.)
Pay for help!

Pay for help!

  • Laundry.   Consider a Mother’s Helper (see above) or dry cleaner where you can pay by the pound. Someone mentioned blueskycleaners.com, a service where they pick up and drop off and use environmentally friendly methods (it is more expensive but saves time since they do the pickup and drop off of clothes).  Some nannies will also do laundry, make breakfast in the morning, lunch, and keep the house clean (however they are very expensive).
  • Shopping.  I like to outsource grocery shopping to Safeway.com (Hubby hates when I do this because he thinks we spend more money this way) and I am also a HUGE fan of Amazon.com for just about any other shopping I need to do — they sell everything imaginable.
  • Mother’s helper to help with homework (our eldest is in Kindergarten so this does not apply to us yet — but I would want to take this on personally)
  • Washing the car (Hubby loves doing this – he always has. And now he loves doing this with Big Bro and Red by his side as they “help”).
  • Cooking (maybe some nannies can do? We don’t have a nanny and we would never be able to afford a personal chef).

Wouldn’t it be wonderful if our dual-working families could afford to have teams of people at our fingertips so we could enjoy our time with our kids??!?!?!?!??! Of course our budgets are NOT endless, which is why we are probably working in the first place. I think the key is to figure out what are the things need to be done but you and your partner choose NOT to do to free up your time to spend with your kids, get some alone time together, or get some alone time alone! It’s another balancing act but one that I believe pays off. The extra money spent can be well worth the stress relief and freeing up of time to do the things you and your partner WANT to do. In the end I think it’s well worth it, within reason.

What other things can be outsourced in your home? What works with your family? What hasn’t worked? What other information can others share????? 

Thanks for listening –

– Mama K

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October 5: Self Realization and Coming Home

October 6, 2011 by 4 Comments

I am on a plane right now headed home from my business trip. I’ve been gone since Monday early morning, and my kids will certainly be asleep when I return tonight. So, Friday morning will be our reunion – ending our entire 4 day separation from each other. I’m looking forward to seeing their sweet faces.

Let me quickly recap today’s work activities. It was a really big day. We had 5 hours today to wrap up our event — and today was much harder because it involved MUCH more facilitation and work on our (my) end — a good part of the day went beyond managing speakers but instead managing brainstorming sessions with the ENTIRE group to 1) progress further in mapping out plans for a potential service offering for the group and 2) to identify key areas of concern/interest to be addressed the next time we meet, 6 months later. On my end, this was also my last real opportunity for face-to-face “selling” of the forum to our many guests, and building those relationships to position our company well for consulting services even if they chose NOT to join our forum. So the pressure was on. I think it went VERY well today and I took total control over the meeting, leading the entire group through the day:

  • the presentations went well. For one presentation I needed to help facilitate and support the presenter to make him and the session successful.
  • the brainstorming session and planning session were extremely interactive and the group came together to identify great areas of focus for our next meeting. It was great to see the participants interacting and feeding off of each other. And I had fun helping them spur their thinking by making references and comparisons to the presentations as well as their brainstorming work. I think we’re in great shape to start planning our next meeting 6 months from now.
  • Our team received great feedback and handshakes from the participants — the members as well as the guests. I even got a few hugs! It was great to see the energy and enthusiasm from them, and to FEEL appreciated and successful.

So overall, today and the previous days went very well. I leveraged skillsets developed over my career such as detailed planning, problem solving and thinking through implications of the many presentations to the two different groups, facilitating discussion and drawing out different perspectives, listening to what the groups were saying, selling and proving the concept to our guests — while also letting my personality shine… showing warmth, hospitality, empathy, energy, and FUN. But I obviously did not do it alone. I had help from a great team of people to make it all come together.

And I think everyone from both sessions knew about my four small kids waiting for me at home. I find that my story is so unique that it is a VERY effective “ice breaker” for me to connect with people. I play it up. I talk about the craziness of my life and actually thank them (jokingly) for giving me the chance and a break from my day-to-day chaos. I have a great picture of the kids on my computer “wallpaper” that came up when I was starting and ending the day, and sometimes even during the day. It was great to share that part of my life with them and helped me connect with them on a more personal level.

Kids - Christmas 2010

Kids - Christmas 2010

This picture is also funny because the boys were dressed similar as were the girls, and also because it is obvious that Red was in a hiatus of a crying fit when it was taken. In fact, this one quick click is one of hundreds that we took in the span of 5 minutes — between Twins taking every opportunity to crawl away, all kids crying at some point during the photo session, and us “bribing” them with props and cookies. Even though Red is obviously upset, Twin Husky has his thumb in his mouth, Twin Crazy looks startled, and Big Bro is smiling yet his eyes are looking away and his image is fuzzy, it is a PERFECT picture because each of their faces are facing the camera, they are all together, and you can see the diversity of personality between and across them. And this one quick click captures this point in our lives so perfectly.

So this is what my clients and prospective clients from both forums saw during the past 4 days. But they also witnessed how I was 100% “on” with all of them during this time away from my children. This was proof of what a working mother can do. Maybe they even recognized some of my traits that make me a good mother but also cross-over into my working world — how I hustled, how I multi-tasked, how the details were thought through in advance, how I tried to make them feel at home and appreciated, how I managed differing opinions, how I looked into their eyes when I had conversations with them, and how I dedicated myself to them to make their experiences good ones. I wonder if some of them (particularly the women) actually imagined me in the mothering role with my children. And it occurs to me that it isn’t until now that I can fully realize how I’ve grown professionally because of these children. I sort of felt it (or at least I’ve said it to feel better about the working mom struggle), but actually thinking about it now and writing the specific ways I’ve grown in black and white proves it. Wow. This is sort of a breakthrough to me.

These last few days have also proven to me that this role could possibly be perfect for me at my company. It allows me more stability and consistency, but still keeps me in front of clients and also lets me stretch into sales for our firm. My skillsets are completely aligned with the needs for this position. And I believe that I can take this existing baseline and structure and twist it a bit — bringing fresh ideas to the table. Although I will need to travel, it will be contained and COMPLETELY predictable. And I do believe contained travel in small spurts is win/win/win/win for everybody involved – me, my work, Hubby, and the kids. This was the right decision for me at my work – and I have proven over the past 4 days that I am doing a great job – I’ve already received this feedback directly from the clients as well as from firm leadership.

I have two more forums to finish planning for and one more to personally attend. After that I will go on a reduced work-week schedule. I’m feeling really good about the past four days and am looking forward to getting home. I won’t feel completely grounded until tomorrow when I reunite with the kids.

And it won’t be long now until I can see them sleeping, feel their warmth, and give them lingering kisses as I smell their hair. Honestly, too good to be true.

Til tomorrow –
– Mama K

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Recipe: Schmidt Chicken

October 6, 2011 by Leave a Comment

This recipe was submitted by a friend, Mama J from Seattle, WA. “OK, here is my recipe. I think it was published in a magazine WAY long time ago, but I don’t know which one or how to credit. We call it “Schmidt chicken” and it’s been a family favorite for 3 generations. We do this probably once a week. If you grill breasts and have leftovers, slicing them makes for a great addition to salad the next day. One recipe can make quite a bit of chicken, but if you have a crowd, you can just double it! Easy peasy.” Sounds amazing! Thank you Mama J!!!
Schmidt Chicken
Ingredients:
  • 1 cup apple cider vinegar
  • 1/2 cup vegetable oil
  • 1 Tbs seasoned salt
  • 1 tsp poultry seasoning
  • 1 egg
  • Chicken (can use any kind of chicken, bone-in, skin on, or bone-less skinless, light or dark meat)
Preparation:
Whisk together marinade. Turn on grill. Put chicken in marinade. Let stand for 5-10 minutes, at the most. Too much time in the marinade makes rubbery chicken. Grill chicken, dunking it in the marinade periodically as it cooks.
Prep time: 10 minutes
Cook time: 15 minutes

Enjoy!

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October 5: Moshing

October 5, 2011 by Leave a Comment

As you may know, I am out of town on a work trip.  This is the second set of meetings that I am facilitating and I had the first half of the day working with one group/forum, and the second half of the day working with a new set of people/group/forum.   You should have seen the 1 hour in-between – the rush to pack up the old, and get ready for the new.  What a swift shift in mindset —  completely new set of products, completely new group of people.

I am already doing things differently with these meetings.   I am asking for frank feedback and am getting good responses (at least face-to-face).  I guess we’ll see the REAL feedback after folks leave and they complete their conference evaluations.

I ate my third filet mignon tonight after 3 nights here and it was by far the best.

I corralled the group to go out to a dive bar afterwards and moshed to Nirvana.  I miss being in my 20’s without a care in the world.  I felt free when I was dancing / jumping tonight.  I want that feeling back.  I need that feeling back.   I am in my forties and cannot believe how time is passing.  I want to feel free with my children.  I don’t want to worry about adult issues like finances or affordabilty or the state of the economy.  I just want to live and be connected with my kids and FEEL like a person and FEEL like I am LIVING.

This work trip is good in that the reunion with my children will be sweet.  I hope it is making all of us recognize the distance and the feeling of being back together again.  I plan to take off most of Friday.  I plan to keep my kids home with me on that day.  I plan to be a Mom on that day, after being away from them for so long. 

The meeting today was a success.   I think we/ I might have sold more members to the forum.  Tonight I had most of the guests with me.  I hope to see them again as members of our forum.  And I want to feel responsible for the sale of the membership, the value, and being responsible for the cultivation of the relationships and  business development.

OK, I’m going to go to bed tonight after 4 wines and 2 beers and 1 mosh song – Nirvana is still in my head.

And a sorrowful goodbye to Steve Jobs, who was suffering and fighting the past few years.   We have just lost one of the greatest innovators of our time.

Til tomorrow –

– Mama K

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October 4: First day is a success

October 4, 2011 by Leave a Comment

I’m traveling for work and we had our first true day of meetings.   I was in charge of facilitating the discussion, welcoming the guest speakers, and also presenting facts/data and the implications to the group – and also facilitating discussion versus only reporting numbers (how boring).   It was a great day.   Folks gave me great feedback and I’ve already tried to do things a bit differently to engage with the group and hopefully drive consulting sales.

 

It has been a very long day.  I woke up at 6:15 Eastern (3:15 Pacific) and the work was non-stop.   All day meetings, post-meeting debrief, cocktail hour/schmoozing, and dinner/schmoozing.   I found several others who went to Columbia University (very, very strange since most tend to stay in NYC).   I also had a great dinner conversation about 80’s metal bands and I even had fun singing Cinderella’s “Nobody’s Fool” and “Shake Me”.   I had a second filet mignon.  And too much wine.  This will be a fun bunch.  They are smart and also fun.    I’m going to like this.

 

But the day is long.  And I have tomorrow and Thursday left.   I am exhausted already and have more to go…. and of course I miss home.

 

The report from home today was that there was kissing of the monkeys on the cereal box “Gorilla Munch”.   I bet you anything it was Twin Crazy.

 

Til tomorrow –

– Mama K

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Random Thought: How did you hear of Mama In Motion?

October 4, 2011 by Leave a Comment

I’m trying to build an audience and am using various ways to market what I’m doing.  I’m curious as to what is working versus not working so much….

Thank you for the feedback!   I will likely re-use this poll at a later time and after I do some additional promotions…. It really helps to understand the best way to reach people so I can best manage my [limited] time.

THANK YOU FOR YOUR PARTICIPATION!!!

– Mama K

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October 3: Off to the races….

October 3, 2011 by 2 Comments

I am coming off of a wonderful weekend with the kids. On Sat we went to a fishing pier, looked at fisherman and their crabs, ate snacks, and ran away from bees. Later that night we went out to dinner. People were looking at me like I was crazy — one woman and 4 kids out to eat??!?!?!? They were all great; coloring all around and they devoured their food. Then we went to feed the ducks. On Sunday, I took them to a museum along the coast and learned about crabs – we walked out on tide pools and slipped in seaweed (Twin Crazy and Twin Husky slipped and wiped out head first – their hands and feet reaching in the air – it was too funny – I would have taken pictures but they were so upset I didn’t have time. I needed to rescue them). We had long naps and a quiet rest of the day.

Today I had to wake up extremely early and leave for the airport – my flight was at 8 AM so I missed seeing everyone get up. I’ll be gone through Thursday evening – and will probably not see them in time before they go to bed.

This is a week of two big meetings that I am responsible for, starting with tonight’s dinner all through Thursday afternoon. I’m ready, I think. I’m actually tired before it begins. I should have tried for more sleep last night.

Well, that’s about all for now; I am in a taxi now headed to the hotel, will have a conference call in about 8 minutes that I will likely take from the taxi, need to meet with the consultant who is helping me with logistics and the data, get ready and go to a cocktail reception for attendees and then stay awake and get to know everybody over dinner. And THEN…. prepare my self to be “on” for tomorrow AM.

Missing my kids already –

– Mama K

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Staying Sane: Are you speaking your child’s “Love Language”???

October 2, 2011 by 3 Comments

What is Your Child's Love Language?

What is Your Child's Love Language?

We all know that our kids are unique individuals.   Despite being created from the same set of genetic material, their personalities, despositions, strenghts and quirks are all so unique.   We know this already.   We are the mothers to these unique children — who are really just little people.

Do you ever feel like you are just not connecting with your little one, thus creating friction between you and he/she?   Or do you wonder if you should be interacting differently with your child to make your relationship stronger?

I think one way to help you “stay sane” is to give your child your love in the way he/she naturally desires to receive it.   Let me explain…

For those who are not familiar with the “5 Love Languages” by Gary Chapman, I highly recommend getting this book for the sake of the relationships around you — it boils down to a theory that each individual has one or two distinct “love languages” that are favored over the others.   So for these people, the way they naturally express love aligns with those languages, and the way that FEEL love also aligns with those languages.    The implications to this run even deeper — a person may be VERY loved by another individual, but if “the lover” is not showing their love in the recipient’s primary love language, the recipient may actually not even notice the efforts of the “lover”, but even worse, they may feel totally unloved.  All of the languages are meaningful to you in one way or another, its just that each person has one or two that dominate the rest.   The languages include:

  • Words of Affirmation
  • Quality Time
  • Receiving Gifts
  • Acts of Service
  • Physical Touch
I found this to be very enlightening with the relationships around me; I was so intrigued that I wanted to do more research and found the authors website where he has tools where you can answer simple questions to identify your primary love languages — go to this link.   The answers really shouldn’t be a surprise to you.   BUT HERE IS THE AMAZING THING….. you will notice at the above link that there are also assessments for your CHILDREN (one for teenagers, one for smaller children).
I found this to be extraordinary and potentially very powerful.  Big Bro is over 5 so we did the test with him.  His primary love languages were Quality Time and Receiving Gifts (no surprise here, he is five!).   This was VERY useful information for me.   So now I know how best to communicate to him that I love and cherish him.   I can do things that speak his love language.    I’m sure he also adores the hugs and kisses that I give him non-stop (my love language is Physical Touch), but for him, he would rather spend quality time with me.   I’ve even heard him say this.  “Mommy… why aren’t you coming to the dinner table to spend time with us?”.     He also is the child that will flat out ask for more “mommy time”.   He loves for me to simply sit next to him and watch a movie, read a book, do a puzzle, play an interactive computer game, or simply go for a walk.    So now I know how best to spend my precicious time with him.  I know how to satisfy the methods for which he most feels loved.   Not that my hugs and kisses are not important, its just that the time that I choose to spend with him is more important to him to feel the love that I have for him.
I thought that this was a really powerful tool and unique thinking between parent and child.    I encourage you to take the assessments for yourself, have your partner take theirs, and also have each of your kids take theirs.  And let us know what you think!!!!!!!
  • Do the results seem true to your child’s personality?    Were you surprised in any way?   
  • When reflecting back, do you think you’ve put too much emphasis on YOUR love language versus your child’s?   
  • If so, can you try to more directly speak your child’s love language — and after doing this for a week or two, have you found any differences in how they respond and/or connect with you????
I am so curious!!!!  Please comment!!!!
– Mama K
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September 29: Dazed and confused

September 30, 2011 by Leave a Comment

This morning was unusual in that Hubby had to leave early for a meeting; so he had to also bring Red with him on the earlier side. This isn’t really much of a problem though since she is usually the first one up anyway.

Highlights of the Morning and Commute:

  • Red and Big Bro are up, lounging in their beds. They set out clothes the night before so changes were fast. Big Bro asks me if I will be volunteering in his class today. I say to him that I filled out ALL the paperwork for me to volunteer, and they are asking parents of his class to do lunchroom duty for the month of October. I picked 4 days to do this for him (including Halloween — I will have a blast with this). I also mentioned to him that I will talk to his teacher about other ways I can help in his classroom. I will likely be working from home going forward so this will be completely doable for me. He is psyched. I tell Red that I will have the same conversations with her teachers if she wants me to volunteer in her class too. She does. So it will be done!!!
  • I go to the Twins’ room – and they are just waking up. Twin Husky jumps up immediately and wants to get out of the crib to start his day. Twin Crazy generally prefers to sleep later so she takes some time to roll around, look around, and then get up.
  • Twin Crazy seems cranky. I look down at her pajamas and her poor little legs can’t extend the full way. They are too small! I take them off and talk to her about it and as soon as I get them off of her she is smiling and looking at me like I saved the day. Cute!
  • Red decides to switch out of the dress she had on; I ask Twin Crazy if she would want to wear that dress. Everything is cool. So I put the dress on Twin Crazy and she looks so sweet, so demure – I ask her to show Hubby and her cute little face looking up at him asking for his response back was so adorable.
  • I go downstairs with the kids and everything generally went smooth. REd was ready for the earlier departure. Big Bro was fast with breakfast and very quick at getting changed.
  • The 3 kids were great getting into the van. Big Bro was busy holding his lunchbox and his folder with all the paperwork I completed the night before.
  • Quick drop off for the Twins. I hugged them extra long today.
  • Drop off for Big Bro was great. He was psyched about his folder of paperwork. His teacher gave him a high-five. She also appreciated my offer to help her in any way that she needs.

So now I’m on the ferry. It is gray outside. I also feel grey inside. I’m hurting and upset about a life that I feel is so out of reach for me and my children.

Work today will be very busy. I still have some last movements in one agenda, and I still have many presentations yet to receive. I will probably get them at the end of the day and will need to review and provide feedback over the weekend. On one hand I am very excited about being away for a week; but on the other the thought of being away from my kids is heartbreaking to me. I need to get over that feeling.

Highlights of my Working Day:

  • As expected, I was extremely busy finalizing an agenda, sending info out to attendees, reviewing presentations, providing feedback, etc. etc.      I feel like I’m doing things that are needed to be done but feel like I have four left feet.   It’s all a bit confusing thinking through all of the play-by-play details and I feel like I’m missing a alot…. I’m a bit confused and trying to get my act together, but falling behind.
  • We had a planning call with one of the Directors who will be attending one of the forums with me, to get him up to speed on the people there, the content to be discussed, and how our company provides value to the audience.
  • I also had a planning call for a separate forum — it looks like the potential speaker has content that actually looks and feels like competing content that we provide…. ugggh.   So now I either stick to an agenda with 3 speakers or I need to find another…. I’ll need to worry about that later.
  • HOWEVER THERE IS STILL A LOT MORE TO DO!!!!!!!!!!!!   Do I work on it tonight after the kids go to bed?   Or do I do it over the weekend?   My preference would be to knock it out tonight but I am so drained, for so many reasons.
  • On the commute home via Ferry I talked with a neighbor – a family who lives behind us with FOUR kids and also a set of Twins!   We were commiserating; I don’t feel as alone.   We promised to get our families together after all 8 of our kids are asleep.  That way we can drink and get to know each other better.  Funny – it’s been over a year and its taken us that long to connect.   People are just so busy out here in a big city to stop what they do and take in the surroundings; I feel like the sense of community is lacking, making it harder to expand beyond our own little part of the world.
Dinner and Bedtime:
  • Hubby is not going to make it home this evening; he’s spending time with his brother and sister-in-law who is ready to give birth any day now.  So I am with the kids solo – I know I can handle it.   In fact, I revel in it.
  • I picked up Big Bro and spent some time with him at after-care since he was in the middle of a “pom-pom” project.   I thought it was really interesting and SO EASY to make little pom-poms.  I’ll try to replicate it someday and then send out the instructions to the group.  I also wanted to go slow with pick up — mommy-time is on my mind for each of these kids.
  • We picked up Red – she was outside with this HUGE floppy pink hat on, looking absolutely adorable.   She immediately reports on the amount of lunch she ate that day.
  • We decide to go grab take-out food for dinner.   So we drive to our favorite BBQ place to pick up food, and then we pick up the Twins.   Twin Husky is upset because he wants to get in the front seat to drive the car.
  • At home, I get kids organized with eating right away.   Twin Husky is still in the van playing with the steering wheel.   I finally get all kids at the table eating.
  • After dinner Big Bro starts a movie (Friday nights are movie nights) and I play with Red (flying airplanes and general rough-housing) to the point of feeling sick.  I’m not sure if its the rough-housing or the stress I’m under.
  • Twin Crazy is busy wiping her mouth with a little napkin I gave her at dinner.  This was the first time I’ve given them napkins and she was so cute – she’d take a sip of milk, and then wipe her face.  Take another sip of milk, and wipe her face.   I was laughing and encouraging her cleanliness.   She also did some airplanes on me but got a little scared so went back to cleaning her face.
  • We all make it to the living room to be with Big Bro.  I get the Twins changed in PJs.   Twin Husky stands on the coffee table.  Twin Crazy is cleaning her face, and now also her feet.   Twin Husky is also brushing his teeth.
Four kids mesmerized by Toy Story

Four kids mesmerized by Toy Story

  • I bring up the Twins first — we read a picture book together.  It is amazing how intense Twin Husky is with this picture book.  He MUST point to everything to understand what it is and he repeats EVERYTHING extremely well – he is very understandable.   Twin Crazy however still is very vocal but mumbles everything…. but she is trying.   I encourage both and give them lots of hugs and kisses for reinforcement.  We sing and then they are ready for sleep.   They say “night night” and I also hear some “I love you”s — -I just can’t get over it.   Hearing that from them is a pinnacle moment.   I remember when I first learned I was having twins, seeing their two little spots and heartbeats, and feeling terrified and wondering how were we ever going to do this??!?!?!?!??!?!    And now these children are children…. they are speaking in words… they are active…. they are eager to learn…. and they are so affectionate; and the “I love you”s are beginning for them.   I really am so proud of them and feel lucky to have them in my life.
  • I head downstairs for some mommy-time with Red and Big Bro.  The three of us sit together on the couch bundled under a blanket, watching Toy Story and laughing at the funny parts.   By the time we head upstairs it is late; so I only read a FAST book and then they are both out.
Today was a day of ups and downs.   Parts of the day just left me dazed and confused.   It makes me want to just go to sleep.  But now I need to work.   So, let me go at it so I can enjoy the rest of my weekend.
Happy weekend to all –
– Mama K
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