March 13: Feeling worn out.


Last night was rough. There were multiple times during the night that Red was up in the middle of the night crying. I went up several times to soothe her. Rock her. Hold her. And tell her it was OK. She would drift back to sleep, and then it would happen again a few hours later. Early in the AM (5:45 ish) Daddy indicated that she can’t keep doing this anymore. Still crying. I go up and soothe her. It’s almost 6 AM. I tell her its time to wake up soon and give her the option of resting in her bed or coming downstairs with her stuff to get ready for the day. She comes downstairs happily.

Highlights of the Morning and Commute:

  • Red in my room, laughing and joking. Joking about her toes.
  • I shower and quickly get ready. Red asks why I wear tights (it is raining today) and that my skirt is too long. I look at my face and I have old mascara all down my face. I asked REd why she didn’t tell me that I looked like this? This is ridiculous! I look like a Panda bear (her pre-school class is the Panda Bears). We talked about this for awhile and I explained the eye-maker remover and how it takes off the junk without hurting my eyes.
  • We head upstairs and get Twin Crazy and Twin Husky. Twin Crazy and Red are fighting over the tea party set but it is Twin Crazy’s present. They divided the stuff and seemed happy.
  • Big Bro was busy sleeping. I have a feeling he worked on his Lego project too long last night.
  • CHOCOLATE TUESDAY!!! All kids excited. Chocolate all over the place.
  • Big Bro and Red received the items that they painted at a birthday party the other day. Red painted a frog all black, with colored spots. It was so cute. Twin Crazy even said that it was “cute”. Red looked at it and then said that she wanted to give it to me. I love it. My little black froggie.
  • Afterwards Twin Crazy and Twin Husky were walking around with their helmets and their scooters. The stuff was not put into the garage last night but left in the kitchen instead (BIG MISTAKE). So now these kids were scootering all over the kitchen – we’re trying to get out in the morning and we don’t need to fight over helmets and scooters. Note to self: make sure everything is put in garage the night before.
  • We made it out by 8 AM so did the 3 drop offs all together. Twins first. Big Bro next. Red last. I dropped off the envelopes and “mail” that I made for her last night. I made the deadline so am glad for that.
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    I am on the ferry now, and it is so rainy. The morning was OK, but I’m still working off of very little sleep. I have major deliverables for 4 different initiatives/ projects I am leading in April. Plus another meeting I am trying to organize in May. Plus a divorce. There are so many things that I need to address today. It will be busy! I will have 1 planning meeting, 1 selling meeting, 1 meeting with my lawyer, 1 client meeting, and 1 interview for a potential new hire. AND I have to get work done in between. I will need to buy breakfast this AM to get me ready.

    Highlights of My Working Day:
    OMG very busy!!!!

  • Started by leading a team call with our partner for our refined go-to-market activities for a forum we are trying to launch. I then took these materials and reached out to all prospects on my list. Hopefully we’ll get some bites. We’ve repositioned this as a “meeting” versus a firm decision to commit. So a softer sell. I hope this change in direction works, especially since it was my idea.
  • I then lead a call with a potential participant for our other forum…. a really big potential client… COO of a MAJOR player that we have not worked with in the past. The meeting went great. I got connected with her from an ex-co worker of mine from over 20 years ago. It is amazing how strong your network becomes over the years. Not only is she interested in the one initiative that we were talking with her about, but she is also interested in the OTHER initiative I am leading too!! OMG!!! I want to set up a lunch to thank my friend and also invite her, since I think there could be amazing business development opportunities that come from this…. My Director gave me a fist-pump after the call.
  • I unfortunately also had a lot of personal calls today; regarding events with the divorce…
  • I had some calls to help secure speakers at our forums
  • I answered/addressed a ton of emails related to all of the above
  • I had to work on our client deliverable for today and sent it to them; we had our status call today and shared some preliminary insights with them. I also thought about our face-to-face working meeting for next week and what we need to have done to be ready for that meeting…. we have a lot to do…
  • I interviewed a potential hire for our office. I liked him.
  • Now I’m on the ferry, and I know I have a lot of work to do on a personal front and for work…. we are in crunch time now since our forums are one month away. A lot has to be done, to be orchestrated…. I am getting nervous…. particularly since the divorce is coming to a head all at the same time…

    I’m on the ferry new and it is rainy. The boat is rocky. I’m not sure what I’m going to have for dinner tonight but I am starved. I think pasta. And spinach. And shrimp. I am tired from my night with Red last night. Hopefully she is in a good mood tonight despite her lack of sleep….

    Dinner and Bedtime:

  • It was raining when I picked the kids up. I was starving. I picked up Red first, then Twin Crazy/Twin Husky, and then Big Bro. Red was trying to tell me about a “streamer-on-a-stick” thing that she made but I was having a hard time understanding what she was talking about. She was getting mad at me. Eventually I figured it out but it took a good 15 minutes. I wish she just would have told me to look in her folder!!!
  • We decided on pasta, shrimp, and spinach. I gave them a small snack as we walked in since they seemed cranky/hungry.
  • After dinner we worked on Big Bro’s “catch a leprechaun” project where he puts “gold coins” in a cup with a ramp so that the leprechaun falls into the cup as he’s getting the gold. Big Bro wanted to write out the directions in list-form first before starting on the project. He is like me in that way – I live by lists.
  • Twin Crazy was walking around with chap-stick.
  • I started some laundry and cleaned up from dinner.
  • Red was the only kid who ate a lot of dinner, so I snuck her into the garage and gave her some animal crackers as a treat.
  • Twin Crazy and Twin Husky were freaking out at bedtime tonight. Laughing, running in circles, and being hysterical as they were giving each other kisses tonight.
  • Right now Big Bro and Red are talking to me through the “kid” monitor. So cute. They’re telling me stories and singing.
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    It was a good day; another busy day. I feel like I scored a big win at work, but feel like I’m under the gun at home. I’m looking forward to my mother’s arrival tomorrow – she will be here until Sunday.

    Wait a minute…. now Red is crying. Big Bro is whispering into the “kid” monitor for me to come up there since Red’s crying. But it’s not my night. It’s up to Daddy to be on duty for them tonight. I hate this. It makes it seem like he’s calling for me but I’m not responding to him/her.

    Til tomorrow –
    – Mama K

    February 7: Rain on our Faces


    Chocolate Tuesday! It is raining. But it’s a soft kind of gray rain so it’s not that bad. It’s the kind of rain that feels good on your face as you walk through it. Especially when you haven’t put on your makeup yet.

    Highlights of the Morning and Commute:

    • We had crying children in the early morning hours while it was still dark and both wound up in my bed. So I’m a bit tired this morning. Although it was great to wake up with them so close.
    • Chocolate Tuesday! Twin Crazy and Twin Husky are full-fledged Nutella-lovers. Red and Big Bro happily joined them. We had tortillas, bread, and bagels galore with the chocolaty-goodness.
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    • Twin Crazy and Twin Husky turn TWO this Sunday – we’ve been having fun with them talking up their birthday and getting excited. Red and Big Bro want to go out and buy presents for them (I think just a ploy to lobby for stuff for them too). I had fun saying “If it’s your birthday this weekend, raise your hand.” Unfortunately I couldn’t get both of them to raise their hands at the same time…. I will keep working on that for a photo. It was so cute to see Twin Husky’s smiling face with his chocolaty hand raised in the air, and Twin Crazy’s face holding back a smile with her hand in the air. I catch them singing Happy Birthday every now and then so they are getting ready.
    • I helped wash hands – everyone was so sticky. My favorite is still diaper changes. I get to talk to each kid and focus on them. Dressing with Big Bro and Red went without a problem. But Red REJECTED her new shoes this morning and opted for her Dora sneakers – the ones she kept saying hurt her feet!! Unpredictable.
    • I caught both Twin Husky and Twin Crazy each taking turns putting on Red’s new shoes and walking around the house laughing. Then Twin Husky found his favorite silver sparkly shoe so was walking around with them too.
    • The three drop offs were quick and efficient. I talked with Big Bro’s teacher about how Big Bro read his ENTIRE book last night with very little help… he just plowed through the thing and wouldn’t stop! He was excited to pick up a new book.
    • Red was excited that I was dropping her off this morning. She was all smiles. We ran through the parking lot with the rain on our faces and talking about the rain. We talked about how it feels good on your face and how it wakes you up in the morning. We skipped over puddles.

    Now I’m on the ferry, knowing that today will be busy. But if I can just hunker down and focus on what I need to do, I should be OK. I can’t afford to get too many out-of-the-blue emails that distract me. I might just take 2 hours off email so I can plow through some things. I need to finish our kickoff deck, start planning the meetings in April, and possibly start the outreach for our extra meeting. This plan is aggressive.

    Highlights of the Working Day:

    I had a great day at work. Very busy, very productive:

    • I met with my team related to a new project we are starting next week, to debrief them on what we need to do for the project, what we learned the last time we worked with this client 2 years ago, and what we need to do differently for this project versus the last. They understand the budget in terms of time, and understand their roles in the project. I shared immediate next steps for them to do to prepare for next week.
    • I completed the Kick-off presentation and shared with the team and the Director-in-charge for his review.
    • I completed the go-to-market materials for the new initiative that we are trying to launch – a meeting in April. I feel good about the selling message and forwarded everything to the team for their review to see if the message could be made more compelling. I plan to distribute everything tomorrow and see what kind of response we get.
    • I also started to think about the planning for the other two meetings we will have in April. I need to make this my main focus next week.
    • I also responded to my thoughts on another project sold from another office but needing our time; I have some questions as to scope and also reservations on time commitment.

    I am now on the ferry home and it is still gray outside. But not raining. Someone sitting next to me smells like Ass. I have chicken defrosted in the refrigerator and we also have cherry tomatoes so I think I’m going to try the Chicken and Tomato recipe I featured previously. I’ll let you know how it goes.

    Dinner and Bedtime:

    • I picked up all the kids and enjoyed their smiles and hugs. Twin Husky was wearing silvery-glittery shoes.
    • The kids played while I made dinner – the Chicken and Tomato recipe — it was quick, easy, and DELICIOUS!!!!! Seriously. It was very good. I made a side of pasta and put the sauce in there too – along with some veggies and left over quinoa. Dinner wasn’t a big hit for the kids but I enjoyed it!
    • The Twins were tired and the older kids were dirty (no baths over the weekend) so Big Bro and Red bathed while Twin Crazy and Twin Husky got ready for bed. Twin Crazy went pee-pee in the potty!!!
    • Big Bro read along with me his new book from school. He is trying really hard and I am so proud of him and how well he’s doing.
    • Red had a difficult time going to sleep again tonight. She fights it. She props herself up to keep from going to sleep. I rocked with her and she eventually gave in.

    It is quiet in the house now. Too quiet. I have a 1/2 day of work tomorrow so I’m looking forward to that. I’d like to take Big Bro and Red out to buy Twin Crazy and Twin Husky their birthday presents – there won’t be much of an opportunity for me to do this alone with them between now and Sunday.

    Til tomorrow,

    – Mama K