flex time – Mama In Motion™

March 7: Just a day.

March 7, 2012 by Mama K Leave a Comment

Wednesday – a day at home. I’m writing this at the end of the day so I’m trying to remember what exactly happened… it’s all a blur. I’m also working off of very little sleep. Red woke up at 11 PM last night, and then again at 4 AM, 4:30 AM, 5 AM, and 6 AM. Poor thing. Poor me.

Highlights of the Morning:

Twin Crazy has been walking around with a princess “fannie-pack”. It is the cutest, yet almost disturbing, thing ever…. she walks around like she has important business to attend to with her little fannie pack on. She buckles and unbuckles it, and strings the strap around to put it on again. She asks for help when she needs it, which is good.

Big Bro constructed a space shuttle out of Legos this AM, for R2-D2. R2-D2 was short lived — apparently he traded him with a kid at school for some other Lego figure.

Twin Husky was busy carrying all of his things in a paper bag but then the bag broke. He got so pissed off. So we put his stuff into a new bag. His stuff included: yellow soccer ball, random kid forks, spoons, and knives, his Tigers, pretend cleaning supplies, a dress, a green ball.

I drove all the kids in since Big Bro lost his bike privileges the night before. I dropped of Twin Crazy and Twin Husky first. Then Red and I walked with Big Bro to drop him off. I then dropped off Red.

Highlights of My Working Day:

I got home, straightened up the house, ate some breakfast, poured another cup of coffee, and set up my computer. I’m ready.

I had a meeting with one of the speakers for our forum in April to give direction on content.

I coordinated a call with another speaker to give guidance on content.

I did marketing outreach to one of the forums

I re-crafted go-to-market outreach for a forum we are trying to launch

I did more selling outreach to solicit participation in a meeting in April

I had to address various emails from all of the above relating to two forums, two meetings/forums we are trying to launch, and a client project.

I received some positive responses to the various invitations and also received to offers to speak — AWESOME! Great way to round out the Agenda!!!

The Rest of the Day:

I called the quits and ran some errands.

I picked up Big Bro first, then Red. There was a fire-truck there and we got there just in time to see the show… it was cute, all of the little kids coming outside to see the truck and the firemen. So cute.

We picked up Twin Crazy and Twin Husky next, and caught them in the middle of a walk around the courtyard with their daycare provider. The kids were all going wild. Big Bro and Red hanging out of the window, and me driving VERY slowly behind the Twins so they could get back to their daycare house… .it was like I was following Big Bro. We were all cheering from the van to the Twins and were all having a good time.

We got back and had an Oreo snack. I played with the kids. The boys were playing together and acting like boys, throwing balls and sling-shotting rubber snakes. Twin Husky was cracking up. Twin Crazy was playing in her kitchen set. Red was wrestling with me and playing “airplane”.

I made dinner – homemade pizza with dough from Trader Joe’s. Boys were still acting like boys, cracking up and playing with each other.

After dinner somehow they all started on ice-cream. Then we watched T.V.

Twins got cranky and I had them for bedtime so it was very easy to read to the them and put them to bed. “I…… love…… you…. Sweet Dreams….” So cute.

Now it’s the end of the day and I’m in my space and I have off tomorrow but still have work on my mind. I also have personal things to take care of. Financial stuff. I can’t wait to get this over. I’m looking forward to the weekend when I can decompress. Today was just a day. Nothing magical. It just came and went. Or maybe I just feel that way since I need to catch up on sleep.

Til tomorrow –
– Mama K

Filed Under: Daily Journal Tagged With: boys, firetruck, flex time, parenting, part-time, pizza, siblings, sleepless nights, working mom, working mother

February 27: Going places!!!

February 27, 2012 by Mama K Leave a Comment

Monday! I am so tired right now. Big Bro had a nightmare last night and he called for me into the “kid monitor”. I went up to him to console him, and each time he fell asleep and I would get up, he would stubbornly sit up in bed. For the life of me I couldn’t get out of the room. So I went downstairs to get my phone/”alarm clock” and took out his trundle bed and slept on the floor next to him. At least we were in HIS room and I resorted to this after a good 30 minutes of trying to get him to go to sleep. Mind you, this was at 4:00 AM. So, I’m tired….

Highlights of the Morning and Commute:

I was a bit slow this morning, as was Big Bro. I got him up in enough time and helped him to dress and had his breakfast ready and his stuff ready so essentially all he did was get up and get fed and get out. He rode to school with the Motley Crew today.

I helped to change a Twin, I forget who. I think it was Twin Crazy.

Red was already dressed and very cooperative.

I finished my photo project that I started back in early January when I moved into the guest room. It took awhile for me to get the frames, find the pictures (and the time) to print them out, buy hooks/ hanging tape, at a hardware store, and then finally start the process of hanging them up. The tape dried overnight so I hung the frames this AM with Red and Twin Crazy. I love it and feel like the room is now complete.

When I was upstairs helping Big Bro, Twin Husky made his way up the stairs looking for me. I loved hearing him calling for “Mommy” at the bottom of the stairs and asking “Where are you?” in his 2-year old kind of way. It was so cute to see his face popping up over the stairs and both Big Bro and I were laughing at his cuteness.

I took Red into school today. Despite our smooth morning, this is where the problem started. Her regular teacher was late this morning. So she was in a different classroom. We dropped off her baby and nap-sheets in her cubby and I positioned the baby so that she was sitting and comfortable and able to see the classroom around her. So we went to the other classroom to meet up with her class – there were some of her normal friends there, but I did not know the morning teachers – so it was REALLY strange for her to be dropped of in this way. And on a Monday no less. Monday drop offs are always a bit hard so this made it harder. I tried hard to get her to interact with her friends since they are obviously familiar to her. Talking about their shirts, talking about giving hugs, and then the tickle-monster came out and that seemed to work, temporarily. At this point I was late for the ferry so I had to get a strange teacher to help me pry her off of me.

I hauled ass to the ferry. I can’t be late as this is the last one in the AM.

So now I’m on the ferry, a bit over-tired and still calming down from the morning. I have serious work to do today. I need to get the status of the workstreams of our project first thing this AM, and push the market sizing analysis further – this will involve some creativity and I want to see if the team came up with a logical approach. I also need to finalize the draft primary interview guide as we need to give this to the client for review. Our first interview is Wednesday, I think. I will also need to focus on the forums in April – I need to look at the survey questionnaire and make some revisions so we can finalize it this week and start to get it fielded. This sounds easier than it will really be – I will need quiet alone time for this. Today is the first day in our new office and I do not even know the address. I will need to get that when I’m off the ferry and google-map it so I can arrive and get to work. So there will unfortunately be some distractions today.

Highlights of My Working Day:

NEW OFFICE LOCATION!!!! It was awesome to head towards a new office. I got off the ferry, bought a to-go breakfast, and headed West. I didn’t know exactly where I was going so I had to call the office to get the address. It is great! A new start! A change in pace! I was invigorated and so were my colleagues. Despite the furniture in disarray, boxes everywhere, and general confusion, all of the internet was working, access to the servers were AOK and phones were working. Miraculous! I had a very productive day.

I spent the early AM going through some outreach for speakers for one of the forums.

I met with my team for the client project to get an understanding of where we are in terms of work and what we need to do to prepare for our client touchpoint tomorrow. I assigned tasks and unfortunately I had to assign myself things that I don’t think I should be doing (e.g., interview guides, target lists, etc.). I sent out outreach emails to see if we can secure some primary interviews for the project; that way we can say with conviction that we are making progress on that part of the project. I also laid out analysis approaches to refine our market sizing work for discussion with the client tomorrow. I will need to do some work tonight, since the materials are not yet done and I want them reviewed by my Director before I send to the client in the AM.

I spent some time doing admin things like addressing random emails.

I received a text-message from a parent of the Motley Crew gang that said that Big Bro was the “leader” today. There are five of them and each kid will take a day. His day will be Mondays for now on.

We went out for a FABULOUS lunch. Our old office location was very, very desolate with not many lunch options. We are now in the heart of downtown and therefore have soooooo many options at our fingertips. I know I will gain weight here.

So, I was busy but I still have so much to do. I did not even LOOK at the survey questionnaire and I MUST make that a priority for tomorrow.

Right now I am on a train to an appointment tonight. I’m not sure what I’m going to talk about. So much has been happening yet so much still stalled. I feel like I am stuck and just spending money on lawyers.

Hopefully tonight when I get home Big Bro and/or Red will still be up. It is my night to read to them. They will be upset if I am not there for that.

Anyway, I must go now.
Til tomorrow –
– Mama K

Filed Under: Daily Journal Tagged With: clients, divorce, flex time, meetings, parenting, part-time, working mom, working mother

February 22: Taking care of each other

February 22, 2012 by Mama K Leave a Comment

Happy Humpday – I enjoy Wednesdays since I work 1/2 day and from home. This saves me commuting time and also gives me the option to get things done around the house and/or spend time with some of the kids – I had a good day. I feel like I got things done that have been on my to-do list for awhile –

Highlights of the Morning:

Kids were basically cooperative and ate well, cooperated getting dressed. Red wanted to get dressed by herself and she requested that I not look in her direction. Big Bro thought this was funny. So he gave me a play-by-play: “She’s taking off her shirt now. Now she’s putting on her clean shirt”… etc. It was comical and Red, Big Bro, and I were laughing. The twins didn’t know what to make of it and I don’t think they picked up on the humor.

The kids saw that I had an owie on my arm – a burn that I got when making roast chicken last week. My watch started to pull off the scab so it actually is very red and hurts. I talked about it, and then I put a big bandaid on it. The kids were looking up at me with concern but I assured them that I was OK.

I strolled with Twin Crazy and Twin Husky as Big Bro joined the Motley Crew. We were running late but caught up with them. I loved to hear the echoing of his name from the kids as we approached. He’s part of the crowd. He requested that I not take any pictures. Peer pressure. So cute. He wants to fit in. I love it.

While at Big Bro’s school, a parent came up to me to tell me a funny story about Big Bro. Apparently her daughter’s friend was not in school yesterday, so she had the opportunity to spend some time with Big Bro. Well, apparently she got to know him a bit better and decided that she likes him. So she kissed him on the cheek. I guess this is what he was talking about when he said that some of the girls kiss him. Popular boy!!! I have to teach him to respect the ladies and treat them as people! I think with two little sisters, he should be OK in the long-run (hopefully).

I then strolled Twin Crazy and Twin Husky to their daycare. They were talking about the burn that I have on my arm and they wanted to see the band-aid again. They talked about “hot” and “owie” and “hurt” but again I told them I was OK.

I walked home from there – it was a nice morning but I had a lot on my mind; I got back to the house without noticing anything in particular.

Highlights of My Working Day:

I got home and topped off my coffee and began eating everyone’s leftover breakfast. I cleaned up and straightened up the house. I got my computer and phones out and started my day.

I had a conference call with a client and invitee to the special meeting we are having just to explain to her the purpose of what we are doing. She gets it now, and will forward the invitation on to the right people within her company. She is wonderful to work with.

I sent out special survey results to the members of one of our forums. These special surveys are a benefit that they receive from being part of these forums.

I reached out to the market through work contacts, clients, and also LinkedIn to secure primary interviews for a project that I am assisting with. It takes more time to get people to talk to you than actually conducting the conversations and thinking through the insights. So much time is spent going through the rolodex and finding the right people and getting them to agree to a meeting….

I spent some time reviewing a discussion guide for the new project that just started. It needs work. I feel like I can’t get to it properly today so will wait until Monday when I can sit at a desk and devote some real time to it.

Highlights of My Afternoon:

I decided that I did enough work for the day and switched gears. There was a project that I wanted to start and finish. Our Child Custody Mediator suggested a trick to get the kids to put their shoes and jackets in the right spot all the time – it’s brilliant in its simplicity. Hooks. So I spent some time printing out a photograph of the kids, cutting it up into four individual photos, and printing out their names in big pink/blue letters. I found some small bins for the shoes and organized them by person. Twin Crazy has the most shoes by far — not surprising, given the amount of hand-me-downs. No wonder poor Twin Husky has been wearing her shoes – he barely has any!!!

I then ran some errands. Post office, hardware store (hooks), drugstore (kid hand soap). I was debating whether or not to bring a child with me, but decided against it. I wanted time by myself this afternoon.

I got back and put the finishing touches on my project. Hooks were up. Photos were up. Names were up. Bins were out. All set.

I then decided to walk to get Twin Crazy and Twin Husky, to allow Big Bro to ride his bike back home from school. When I got to the Twins they were busy taking care of their Tigers and bears. They were wrapped up in blankets going “night night”. They were very particular about how to get into the stroller so as not to crush the Tigers/bears and to keep the blankets from unraveling. They were very, very protective of them./li>

Big Bro was pumped to ride his bike back from after-care. We enjoyed the walk back in the sunshine.

I then revealed the hooks and pictures and they were a hit. Whew!!

We picked up Red. No major issues.

Dinner and Bedtime:

I cooked dinner while the kids played. Red pretended to be a mommy feeding her baby on a rocker.

I cooked stove-top grilled chicken, brussell sprouts, and rice for dinner. We had sliced oranges for dessert. It was an easy clean up and quick dinner.

I drove the van from the driveway into the garage (about 15 feet) with all four kids in the van not in their car seats. They were squealing with excitement.

I changed the Twins in their PJs and talked to them and tickled them. I then sat with Big Bro to watch a Spongebob. Twin Crazy was bonding with Red — laying together, then going to wash their hands together with the new soap, and then Twin Crazy sitting on Red’s lap…. when it was time for me to take the twins up, Red actually walked with her up the stairs holding hands. So sweet. I love the fact that they have a sister relationship. I don’t have a sister so these kinds of relationships always intrigue me.

Bedtime with the Twins was great; easy. They each picked out a book. Twin Crazy wanted The Little Engine again and we talked about the story together. Twin Husky picked out an Elmo book. We then sang songs and called it a night. They both wanted to sleep with pillows tonight so I put them in their beds. So cute. We say “sweet dreams” and also “I love you” back and forth, back and forth, as I turn off the light and close the door. They are so easy it is almost frightening.

I gave kisses to Red and Big Bro. Leaving them was easier tonight.

But now….. I hear Red crying upstairs. Crying for me….. “Mommy……”. I can’t take this. It’s too hard. Hopefully he can get her to settle down. I ache for her. She’s still crying. Mommy mommy mommy. I’m going to her.

Til tomorrow
– Mama K

Filed Under: Daily Journal Tagged With: divorced, flex time, parenting, part-time, sisters, working mom, working mother

February 15: Jamming!!!

February 15, 2012 by Mama K Leave a Comment

Happy Hump Day! I think I’m empathizing too much with all of you couples out there. I woke up with a horrendous headache, actually feeling like I was hungover from too much wine during a Valentines dinner. So far from the truth, I know. I was moving so slowly today until I popped some Advil. Today was my 1/2 work day, from home… I got so much done, it was a great day.

Highlights of the Morning and Commute:

Twin Husky was playing with a balloon, throwing it up, and watching it fall down, and throwing it up, and watching it fall down, over and over….

The rest of the morning was standard, I think. Breakfast, changes, getting ready….I was going with Big Bro along with the stroller and Twins so had to move quickly to get myself together.

It was cold outside. Twin Crazy and Twin Husky were bundled up. They enjoy the stroller rides. Big Bro rode as part of the Motley Crew and I even saw him try to grab pole position a few times off of the stopping points along the way. Go Big Bro! He’s feeling brave and gaining confidence.

I was set up to volunteer at Big Bro’s lunch today, but he asked me not to come. In fact, he kept asking me not to come. He’s not good with large crowds. It’s OK if I volunteer inside of his classroom, but in the big cafeteria is too much for him. So I was disappointed, but decided to honor his request. I’m set up for next week too so I’ll try again then.

I dropped the Twins at their daycare, and gave them big hugs and kisses goodbye.

My walk home was fast and brisk. It is damn cold outside. The sun is out and I’m feeling good about what I need to do today for work.

I get home, refill my coffee, eat a bagel, straighten up the kitchen, load the dishwasher, and throw in a load of laundry. I set up my computer, and get my phones nearby. OK. I’m ready to work.

Highlights of My Working Day:

I had a sales meeting with our internal team.

I sent out invitations to both of our forums for the special meeting we will be having in April to potentially launch a new forum. I’m excited to see the response I get back.

I set up some meetings with my team on Friday to get them to complete some deliverables in advance of our client meeting on Tuesday.

I started to think through some consumer research that we will need to develop for one of the meetings in April. We have time to execute on both but I need to gather the previous survey questions and analysis so I can build something with trending data over time. I found help to gather the materials and set up a meeting with a partner of the firm’s for Friday to map out a go-forward plan for the research.

I touched base with a colleague in London for some work that I will help him with – it involves some market interviews that I will need to set up, perform, and document. I think I’ll have the time to help him.

I started some sales outreach to get some more “guest” organizations to one of our forums in April. This is a way to sell memberships with new clients – invite them as guests, and have them see the value of the meetings and membership. I need to start the outreach which will become easier once I get the agenda put in place.

I reached out to some potential speakers for the events in April. I will have a lot more of this to do between now and then.

The Rest of the Day:

I went to pick up Big Bro at 3:30. He had fun riding his bike in front of the kids at his aftercare program. It is so strange to see your own child in those “peer pressure” kinds of moments… I feel like my own childhood was not that long ago… and I can see myself in him; I can easily imagine how he must feel to be riding his bike around his school, riding his bike to one section of the school, and just by chance seeing his aftercare class going to the playground although it was likely on purpose…. and riding in front of the kids, with all of the kids calling his name…. and he was riding around smiling and laughing and riding his bike in front of his friends. I wanted to take more pictures but I didn’t want to embarrass him.

Together we picked up Red, and we just happened to interrupt a science experiment where they were making “clean mud” out of soap shavings, water, and pieces of toilet paper. It was cute to see Red involved in her science experiment and I thought to myself how happy I am that she is in this type of learning environment. I just wish it didn’t cost so much! Now I feel guilty for Twin Crazy and Twin Husky.

Off we went to Trader Joe’s for food for tonight, oatmeal in bulk, and snacks that we are running low on. I can’t believe how much food we go through. I can’t imagine what feeding 4 teenagers will be like in 12 years time….

We then picked up Twin Crazy and Twin Husky. While at home I had them set up with play dough as I cooked dinner. I sat with them as they played play dough as I folded clothes. And then I just sat and played with them.

After dinner came and went quickly. Bedtime was rough for Twin Crazy since we lost one of her sleep blankets. Hopefully it is at daycare. Big Bro is sleeping on my floor again tonight. He was complaining all night that his mouth hurt, and I’m wondering if his teeth may be coming in… he fell asleep so quickly and is deep in sleep now… it makes me feel good to know that he is getting extra sleep.

It was a really good day. I feel like I was able to be there for the kids and also had a very, very productive day at work. I really think that working several hours while at home is the ultimate of both worlds. I was able to cook for my family, get the house straightened up a bit, get some laundry done, but still be there for the kids. In the morning. In the afternoon. And I was so busy during the day for work. It honestly is working so well – I have something I need to send out that I forgot about (and will do that next) but tomorrow will be a free day for me. I am loving this.

I’m smiling now and gearing up for tomorrow –
Til then –
– Mama K

Filed Under: Daily Journal Tagged With: divorce, flex time, parenting, part-time, working mom, working mother

February 8: Motion

February 8, 2012 by Mama K 4 Comments

Wednesday – my 1/2 work and on flex time. I’m writing this at the end of the day so this is likely to be brief:

Highlights of the Morning:

I woke up feeling great. I got showered and dressed in a comfortable pair of jeans, and was upstairs with all the kids as they got up. Diaper changes with the Twins is best while in their room since it’s warmer up there. They are so sweet. Twin Husky had his hair all over the place and he is so cuddly and warm. So sweet.
I grabbed oatmeal for the girls and got Big Bro’s breakfast ready; also packed up the bags and got clothes ready for everyone.
Twin Crazy helped me unload the dishwasher. She is very helpful these days.
Big Bro’s foot went through his gaping hole in the other knee of his jeans. I give up. He thought it was hysterical (so did I).
Big Bro wanted to ride his bike to school. THIS WAS A FIRST FOR US!!! We met up with the Motley Crew and I was a bit nervous since I knew Big Bro was probably a bit anxious. He did great. Did not fall once, and even went ahead with the kids towards the end of the ride. At the end, his face was beaming and one of his crew wanted to lock his bike with Big Bro’s. So cute. I’m so proud of him.
I strolled the Twins to daycare and we talked about the fog, how it looked like the clouds were hanging low, and how we could feel wetness on our faces. Twin Crazy pointed and talked about the dogs along the way.
I walked back home, feeling really good. I felt the blood pumping through my body as I walked and it felt good to be going at a fast pace. It felt good to be moving. To be headed somewhere. I was thinking about the work I needed to do. I had things to get done, but nothing too overwhelming. I felt happy to be headed home to work. To have a short but productive day.
I got home, grabbed some breakfast, loaded the dishwasher, threw some clothes in the dryer, straightened up a bit, and got my computer/phones set up for the working day.

Highlights of My Working Day:
I actually got a lot done today

I went back and forth via email related to some work I might be doing for a separate project – they need some market interviews done and I want to make sure I understand the client and the product before I set up interviews – I don’t want to waste my limited time talking to the wrong part of the market.
I documented the planning meeting minutes for both of our forums in April. This actually helped me organize my thoughts on what I had to do soon to get these meetings planned.
I also started to think through the polling that we may want to do with the participants so we can plan an Agenda that is the most valuable for them. I drafted the topic content into survey format and am hoping I can offload the coding to someone else to get this done and out.
I reached out to some potential speakers for one of the forums. We received a positive response back so I am pumped!!!!!
I then packed everything away – cords, computers, phones, papers. I’m getting the kids!

The Rest of the Day:

I picked up Big Bro first and he had a great time riding his bike to the van.
We then waited for Red to wake up from her nap. While waiting, we thumb-wrestled.
Big Bro, Red, and I then went shopping for Twin Crazy and Twin Husky’s birthday. Red actually mentioned it to her teachers but she didn’t mention that I was going to “steal” her earlier today. So she was excited about going shopping with us today.
They were great at Wal-mart. The only things on the list were presents for Twin Crazy and Twin Husky, and also party decorations. Nothing else. They had great self-control. We picked their presents and decided on Sponge Bob for the theme of their party. Big Bro helped to put all of our items on the cashier belt. He was very proud of his efforts.
We then went to get Twin Crazy and Twin Husky. It was really early – 3:30 PM. Once at home, I gave them a snack and then decided to take them for a walk.
The walk was great. Big Bro was on his bike, Red was on her scooter, Twin Crazy was on a tricycle (that I pushed), and Twin Husky decided to walk his Tigers in a toy stroller (along with a helmet). Again it felt good to be moving. To be strolling with the kids. The weather was great and the sun was out. I was feeling like life was pretty good then and now. The children in great spirits, enjoying the outside, moving their bodies, and each moving in their own way. We are a collective little unit but again we are individuals. Everyone moving their own way – but also helping each other along the way. Twin Husky kept asking about Big Bro, who kept riding ahead of us or circling around to ride behind and away from us. They were so cute. Big Bro was even getting brave and testing his bike and his riding and balancing abilities… riding/coasting with his feet off the pedals…. so brave. We had a great time and even met some strangers along the way who might turn out to be great friends!
I made dinner – fish, string beans, rice. Kids were eating well. They had some nervous energy so I put them to work cleaning up their toys.
I read a book to Red about friendship and then we went to look at her class picture and we talked about the names of all of her friends at school.
After dinner I folded laundry while the kids watched a movie. It was a cute night. They all went to bed easily. Big Bro read a book to us. This is the first night that Red is not crying herself to sleep.

I had a great day. I feel like I accomplished things at work during the 1/2 day, got a lot of things done around the house, and had a great time with all of the kids. They are amazing. I am very lucky.

I am not thrilled about divorce and am scared of the outcome. I’m scared about strangers potentially deciding on the future of our children. This is going to have such an impact on their lives and affect them in ways I can’t even wrap my head around. This just isn’t right. I don’t think I’m an ordinary mother. I feel so in tune with each of these kids. And I enjoy being a mom. How is it possible that I can be taken away from a part of their lives? How could this be seen as in their best interest??!??!?!??!? Can’t we find a way to both be integral in their lives without the other being torn away???!?!?!?!??!

Til tomorrow –
– Mama K

Filed Under: Daily Journal Tagged With: bike, birthday party, flex time, part-time, scooter, shopping, tricycle, Wal-Mart, working mom, working mother

February 1: Breakdowns

February 1, 2012 by Mama K 1 Comment

Today is so unusual for so many reasons! Right now I am working in an Audi dealership, where our car is being serviced for a recall. They have comfy couches, a starbucks coffee machine, and snacks. I love it (for now). I’m working 1/2 day and will have the kids in the afternoon.

Highlights of the Morning and Commute:

I woke up tired this morning. Last night, at 1 AM, I heard Red crying through the “kid monitor” (a baby monitor that we call “kid monitor” so I can hear them in the night while they are upstairs and I am downstairs in the guest room). I went to her. I couldn’t understand what the problem was. She was pushing me away. I finally just grabbed her and picked her up. She had peed herself. So I got her changed, said it was OK, and stripped her bed. It was too wet for her to sleep off to the side. She wanted to sleep in Daddy’s room so I brought her in there.

It was a typical morning, kids eating and getting dressed, while Big Bro slagging behind. I think it would help if we had a fourth stool – but at this point I’m not going to go ahead and buy anything – unless it’s out of “family funds” and we are short on cash flow at the moment.

Twin Crazy wanted to put her socks on and off, and also tried to put Red’s pajamas on over her own. She did the same with a pair of Red’s underwear.

NO LUNCHES FOR RED! Starting today at her daycare, they are providing snacks and lunches. So no lunchbox for her! YEAH! (Although she did adore her Dora lunchbox, recently purchased).

Big Bro was still sulking about his Legos. We had to go to the mailbox together to check that they were not in there. I asked Daddy to please talk to Big Bro about when they will be delivered so that Big Bro can at least set his expectations. These tantrums every single day is draining on me and he should have been told this up front. He does fine when he at least knows what day the items will arrive.

Drop offs were fine. Red and I dropped off Big Bro and I lifted her up to the window so she could see how Big Bro takes out his lunchbox, picks out a snack for the basket, and then goes into his classroom. Red and I walked together to the car for her drop off.

There was a lizard “dragon” in her class today. He is the pet of one of the teacher’s sons. It was so cute to see all of the kids circling around the lizard. As soon as Red walked into the room her friends started telling her about the dragon. It seems like she has a lot of “friends” there in her class. It was so cool. It ate a mouse last night. I’m thinking a “dragon lizard” will not be my pet of choice for the kids in the future.

As I was leaving Red’s pre-school the Associate Director asked me if everything was OK. I guess the look on my face said it all. I’m worried about the kids. I’m seeing some effects on Red already. She is so clingy. She peed her bed last night. And things didn’t even really get started yet for our family. I am still in the same house with them. We are not shuffling back and forth. I just sat with this woman and cried for a bit, feeling for the kids and telling her that they don’t know anything yet so it will just get worse for them, but I would keep them in the loop with everything so that they can help support Red if/when she needs it.

So now I’m at the Audi dealership, waiting for a recall servicing. There are limited outlets so electricity may be an issue. I hope I am productive today at work. I need this job. I need to get things done today. My goal is the meeting minutes for the planning meetings for the Forums – I need to get a jump on planning those meetings because I have 2 other initiatives to push forward and it looks like we will be starting a project soon….. so, I need to take advantage of this time BEFORE the project starts or else I will be crushed [I can’t let that happen].

Highlights of My Working Day:

Just check out this setup!!!!

I did some sales outreach for a forum we are launching, and also followed up with a client who we prepared a proposal – it is in a holding pattern due to a corporate-wide reorganization. So we’ll have to be patient.

We won the project from the power-meeting I went to two weeks ago. We start on the 13th. Oh shit. Now I’m going to get busy….. I don’t know whether to be happy for job security or cry. I just need good staff to work the project – otherwise I get crushed. So fingers crossed…

I don’t remember what else I did today. I don’t think I was very productive for work. I will likely work tonight a bit to feel good about my day.

Rest of the Day:

I picked up Big Bro at 1:30. We ran an errand, and then we went to Ross. He’s been rejecting all of his shirts recently and wanted Star Wars shirts. They had Lightening McQueen so we grabbed two of them and he is happy. While we were there I saw a cute Dora princess outfit for Red so got that for her.

We then went to pick up Red; from there we went to pick up their ceramic sculpture paintings from the other day. Red’s “Angry Bird” bank is toooo cute. Big Bro liked his truck.

We stopped at Trader Joe’s quickly and Big Bro had a melt-down. Full fledged. I never saw one like that from him in public before. He was just too tired I guess. Too much running around. I got some stuff and left quickly.

We picked up Twin Crazy and Twin Husky at 4:00. We went home and played. Big Bro put together a new Star Wars Lego set all by himself (and was in a MUCH better mood). Twin Husky, Twin Crazy, and Red were playing stickers. And doing manicures with kid nail polish. We played trains. We played cooking. They ran around and I tickled them. Red was pretending that I was shopping and she was the employee and I had to sign to buy things from her.

We had a great dinner of fish, quinoa, peas, tomatoes and cheese. Everyone ate well. The kids really like fish.

Afterwards we played some more – Twin Husky loves the trains and Twin Crazy loves interrupting his play. Twin Crazy worked on puzzles. She went 1/2 poop in the potty. Twin Husky walked around with a huge bag filled with stuff – a bag man.

Bedtime was cute. Red’s bed is clean. The older kids read quickly and talked about the day. I held Twin Crazy for a bit in dark and rocked her. Twin Husky was patting some dolls in his bed and asked me to cover all of them.

I’m in my room, listening to Big Bro and Red through the monitors. They talk about Legos and family members and about tricking each other and about poop. Then Big Bro eventually talks to me through the monitor: “Mommy, we’re going to sleep now.”. So cute. They know I am there listening to them. I say “I love you” from my room but I bet they can barely hear me since they are upstairs. I had a great afternoon with them.

Now I hear their slow breathing. They are asleep. I am close behind them.

Till tomorrow –
– Mama K

Filed Under: Daily Journal Tagged With: divorce, dragon, flex time, parenting, part-time, Ross, working mom, working mother

January 31: A very rough start of the day

January 31, 2012 by Mama K 1 Comment

Chocolate Tuesday! What a morning. Hated it. Absolutely hated it. I am so frustrated now as I type.

Highlights of the Morning and Commute:

3 breakfast kids (Twin Crazy, Twin Husky, Red) are busy eating their breakfast and enjoying chocolate Tuesday (Nutella with bread, tortilla, bagels, etc.).

Big Bro on the other hand, has trouble waking up, is whining from the first 30 seconds up, whining for his clothes, whining that he’s tired, wining that there’s no stool for him (I’ll give him that, we only have 3 stools), on and on and on….

We all broke into laughs (even Big Bro) when Twin Husky was waving around a HUGE banana. We were all cracking up. I want to post a picture but it could be interpreted as adult-rated…. you get the idea. Awh, here it goes:

Clothes changes went well, but we were running late.

I threw in a load of laundry.

Finding Big Bro’s jacket held us back a bit.

I dropped off Twins and Big Bro; I HAULED ASS to the ferry. The parking lot was full. I had 2 minutes. I circled the lot, over and over, in hopes that a spot would miraculously appear. The last time I did this I parked in handicapped parking at got a $335 ticket. So, the boat pulled away. Doesn’t the driver realize that we have four children to get ready, 3 drop offs, and we simply do not have time to get here an extra 10 minutes early to ensure we get on the boat???!??!?!?!??!?!

So now we are driving into the city. This ferry is the most unpredictable and unreliable source of transportation. Cancelations are frequent. And now this. Filling up. If you miss your boat, you wait 1 hour, unless its the 8:30 boat (which we take), and then you’re shit out of luck. That’s the last boat for the morning. SUCKS!!!

Anyway, I’m at least glad that I ate some breakfast this morning. I asked Big Bro and Red to remind me to eat this morning. They asked me last night why I don’t eat breakfast and wait until I get to work. I said, you know you’re right. I shouldn’t ask YOU to eat breakfast in the morning when I’M not doing it too…. that’s not right. I need to eat breakfast TOO. Remind me tomorrow, OK?” So they did. So I ate. So is that what it comes to? When I take the time in the morning for myself we wind up missing the ferry???? Ugggh.

Today at work should be good. I’m going to focus on planning for the 3 events I have going in April. I like this part. This is the looking forward, seeing what the day could be like, seeing what is possible, and beginning to pull the pieces together. And the office will be filled with people again. So I’m looking forward to that.

Highlights of My Working Day:

I had a reasonably good day. I hooked up my replacement computer, which gave me the opportunity to clean off my desk of all of the dust-bunnies all over my desk. It feels good to be clean and free of dust. I also found some old pictures of Big Bro (2 at the time) and Red when she was a baby. So cute.

I had a sell conversation for a client prospect for one of the forums we are trying to launch. It was only me on the call – and he is interested!!! He needs to socialize the concept internally and I will follow up with him in ~2 weeks to see if they would be interested in coming to a first meeting.

I also worked on marketing/communication materials to solicit interest to a forum we are thinking on launching. We’ve settled on target audience and now we just need to go to market and see what kind of response we get. I’m glad to have started that and sent off a first draft to our team/partners.

I also followed up with a set of stakeholders to see if they wanted to play a larger role in the initiative above – hopefully they agree.

Now I’m on the ferry, headed back to a car that is parked a long way away from the parking lot. I can’t wait to see the kids. I didn’t have enough time with them last night. I have chicken defrosting in the refrigerator so they will have a good dinner. I’m looking forward to tonight.

Dinner and Bedtime:

Pick ups for all kids went fine. We were home, shoes off, jackets off, etc. by 5:30. Even Twin Crazy can now take her jacket off by herself and put it in the closet. She was so proud of herself tonight. She is so independent and can do so much by herself already.

I made tandoori chicken with yogurt tonight – this time with boneless chicken breasts which I highly recommend. I had all kids by myself. NO MOTHER’S HELPER (we need to find a replacement). For some reason, all kids were crying at some point during the dinner preparation. Twin Husky over train tracks, Big Bro about not getting his Lego set in the mail, Red under the table crying for I don’t know what reason, and Twin Crazy because of a bite incident from Twin Husky over the train tracks. It was nuts.

Everyone started to settle down after dinner started hitting their bellies.

After dinner, I did a quick cleanup, ran the dishwasher, and got the kids to clean up all of their toys before sitting down to watch some Spongebob together.

Twin Husky preferred to play by himself and build with Legos.

I played with Twin Husky as he pushed his kid stroller with his Tigers towards me, and then I pushed it back to him. We kept doing this over and over and this little guy was having so much fun. We were both laughing.

Twin Crazy had fun “eating” my nose and also Red’s nose. So cute.

We had a grape snack and then off to bed.

It was a good day with the exception of the ferry and the dinner prep. I’m feeling good today. Work was good and productive which gave me some balance. I’m looking forward to tomorrow where I’ll get to spend time with Big Bro and Red. They’re already looking forward to it. I hear them now on the monitor and they’re not talking… they’re trying to go to sleep. So sweet.

Till tomorrow –
– Mama K

Filed Under: Daily Journal Tagged With: flex time, nutella, parenting, part-time, working mom, working mother

January 30: Am I going Up or Down??!?!?!?

January 30, 2012 by Mama K 5 Comments

Monday. It was a usual. No major breakdowns which was great.

Highlights of the Morning and Commute:

I woke up early and headed up to the kids. Each got to bed early the night before so they all seemed well rested this AM.

I can’t really think of any particular highlights. Things just kindof flowed. The 3 ate, Big Bro was a bit tougher to get started. But the older kids got dressed and were cooperative. Clothes were prepared, bags were packed, jackets were out, shoes were gathered. It just sort of worked.

Red helped Twin Crazy get dressed into clothes since Twin Crazy said that her PJs were dirty. We taught her about “tags” and how they go into the back of the clothes. She was patient and she listened to what Red and I were teaching her. I loved that. Twin Crazy listening, Red instructing, and then Red having Twin Crazy do it by herself. It was wonderful. I love the interaction between these sisters (at least at this point in time….). I think they are at a point where they can share shirts. So I think my project over the weekend will be to cull down all shirts that are on the smaller side for Twin Crazy and consolidate all shirts between Twin Crazy and Red.

The split for drop offs was tough. Big Bro did not want to go with Daddy. I took Red and she arrived on the early side. Her teacher had painting set up for the kids since there were only a few of them. She had a hard time pulling away from me but I could tell from the look on her face and her eyes that she was looking forward to the painting activity.

Now I’m on the ferry. I brought with me my new eyeglasses that are a bit on the trendy side for me so I’ll see how I feel in them. It should be a reasonable day at work, I think. I need to type up the minutes to our planning meetings from last week for the two forums I am leading. I will need to start to reach out to guest speakers (and eventually guests for one of the meetings). I need to think through the realistic possibilities of our other forum we want to launch – I feel like we are tight on timing. Finally, I need to do admin things like performance reviews. They were due last week. I need to get something pulled together on that ASAP. OK. It actually looks like I am going to have a VERY busy day….

Highlights of My Working Day:

I had fun today. All of the directors are in town for a firm-wide Directors meeting. So I’m seeing people I have not seen in over a year. Other people shake hands. I give hugs. Yes, I give hugs to these people. That’s the way I feel about the company and about the people who work here.

I spent the majority of my day on technical isuses – my laptop screen broke off. So they are replacing it. So I needed a loaner computer. So I was not very efficient today.

I spent time doing performance reviews. They are a bit late. But at least I did them. I feel good about that. One was a “self review”. I feel good about the breadth of skillset that my new role can offer me – in terms of project management, client relationships, presentations, cultivating new sales opportunities, and being recognized internally as a leader in this function. I feel good about my self review for perhaps the first time in a very long time.

I spent some time on some personal things too, unfortunately. I go up and down. Today I was down looking at the financial picture. I honestly cannot afford to live where I live. I knew this. But now I am FEELING it.

So now I’m on a train to my appointment. I think I need to put a change in place to save on cost – I just don’t know. People all day were coming up to me and saying “I just don’t know how you are able to manage with the work and the family…. how DO YOU DO IT??!??!”. Don’t they realize that I can’t? I haven’t been able to? I was crushed? My marriage fell apart? We are divorcing??? Yes let me say it for the first time here, we are DIVORCING. And it will soon get WORSE for me in terms of financial and personal struggle???!?!?!? Am I going up or down? How can I do this??

How did I get myself here? All I wanted was to feel “normal” and to tone down the stress. I needed to scale back. I needed affordability. I needed a husband who understood. I needed to be with my children. And my kids needed me (and still do). Taking more time to care for the kids is still hard work – I knew that – I didn’t care if I was tired, but I needed to spend my time on the RIGHT things. I needed to REBALANCE my life.

But now I begin again… and yet so many decisions are left to be made and most of them will be thrust on me…. and how can I ever imagine being able to afford living in this part of the country as a single mom with four children???? And still be the mom I want to be???!?!??!?!??!??!?!?!?!?

Til tomorrow –
– Mama K

Filed Under: Daily Journal Tagged With: divorce, flex time, parenting, part-time, working mom, working mother

January 25: Creations

January 25, 2012 by Mama K Leave a Comment

It was an easy morning – everything just seemed to flow…

Highlights of the Morning and Commute:

I woke up early and got myself ready. I made it upstairs by 7 AM to get the Twins up and also sit next to Twin Crazy on the potty, as promised. When I picked her up, her diaper was full so I knew it was too late. But we sat there anyway, and a teeny bit of pee came out – so we were all proud. Twin Husky was of course looking over with curiosity.

Red came in while we were in there and she was holding back a smile. She is proud too.

Downstairs, the clothes are already out in piles. Breakfast was cereal.

Twin Husky was strolling around his “tigers” again and also trying to maneuver with a baseball bat and ball. He is such a boy. So cute.

Twin Crazy was playing with stickers. She put some stickers on Big Bro’s backpack and he got very upset. He then suggested that she could put the stickers on his OLD backpack (Toy Story) so that worked fine for her. WAY TO GO BIG BRO!!! I love how these kids are empathetic and are actually becoming very good at problem solving and working through conflict. They continuously surprise me and make me proud (but of course there are times when their fights are too much to bear…. ).

I woke up Big Bro – who got to sleep WAY too late last night. This poor kid needs more sleep. I tried to coax him downstairs with the promise of apple juice and also the activity of packing up his backpack (which we received yesterday). That seemed to get him moving. He had a HUGE breakfast of banana yogurt with bananas. I went shopping yesterday (thankfully) so we have food in the house again.

Kids got dressed without a problem. Red was hoping like a bunny because of her bunny shirt.

Drop offs were so easy. I promised Big Bro that I would pick him up at 12:45 (after Kindergarten) since I have a 1/2 day today. I also promised Red that I would pick her up today after her nap. I want to spend some time with each of them today and take advantage of my short day. I miss them.

So, now I am on my couch, with a big pot of coffee after eating the kids’ leftover breakfast. I have chicken defrosted in the refrigerator already. I have to revise our proposal and I can maybe start to put out some planning calls for our conferences. I also have to start thinking about and preparing the communication language that will go out to invite potential clients to a “formation meeting” that we will have inbetween our conferences – for a potential forum that we are trying to build. Crafting this communication will be critical and I need to start thinking about the positioning, who to contact, and start those recruiting efforts….

Highlights of My Working Day:

I had to address several emails this morning so got that taken care of.

I then had a 10 AM conference call to prepare for. It was an informative call.

I then focused on the proposal. I needed to price it down which meant cutting out scope. The trick is, you can’t cut too far – otherwise the client does not get a valuable piece of work, OR, your firm winds up investing extra time to MAKE it valuable but you don’t get paid for that time. Either scenario is not great. So I worked on price and reduced scope. I think we can do it.

I then got myself out of the house since it was my 1/2 day. I went to pick up Big Bro and felt the stress leave my body as soon as I saw him.

The Rest of the Day:

We talked about what we wanted to do for the day. We went to a garden at his school and sat on a bench. He couldn’t decide despite my various suggestions.

Then I got THE call. I needed to work on the proposal a bit more. So off we went, back at home. It only took me 15 minutes so that was good.

Big Bro was busy entertaining himself with Legos. He asked me to sit with him and build something. I gladly obliged. He is really good at Legos. He follows the directions, page by page, but he makes decisions as to what he wants to do and what he doesn’t. So he doesn’t follow the rule book to a T and in fact deviates based upon his own thinking. He also adds to it. Today, the space shuttle that he was working on actually turned into a space helicopter. And he wanted the man to sit on the helicopter and I suggested that maybe the man’s face was too close to the blade. So together we thought of a solution to extend the ship outwards in the back, and create a ledge where the man could safely sit. I loved that time with him, just us.

By that time, it was time to pick up Red (early). Her class was waking up from their naps. I packed some snacks and off we went to pick her up. She was happy to be “stolen” from her class early.

I took them to a place where you pick out pottery shapes and then paint them – the place then puts them in a kiln and you get them back all shiny. Big Bro picked out a tractor trailer and Red picked out an Angry Bird. They were so cute. I took too many pictures. I love looking at their faces as they are busy creating. They each picked out the colors they wanted from the palate of choices and picked out their different brushes. I had a blast watching them and I actually think the creations will come out really nice.

We then picked up Twin Crazy and Twin Husky early. I wanted them all home with me. We played for a bit and I did a lot of horsie-back rides. It is so cute to see all of the kids “in line” for their ride, and hearing “my turn” from the twins. So cute. They really did wait their turn and no-one tried to go out of order.

I then I started dinner and also did a ton of dishes. The kids were playing by themselves, which was working out OK but for some reason Big Bro was teasing EVERYBODY. It was so bad that I had to send him up to his room for some quiet time. He was much better afterwards.

Dinner was on the table shortly after 6 PM and I put Big Bro on chicken and string bean “duty” and Red on cous-cous “duty”. They loved having jobs. I think all kids really got into eating tonight because of it. They ate like champs. Twin Crazy went nuts with the cous-cous and was even stealing some off of Big Bro’s plate. Once a kid needed a refill, they asked the other child politely and then said “thank you”. I loved it. It was a really fun dinner.

After dinner I cleaned up a bit but then spent most of my time tickling the kids, wrestling with the girls, doing acrobatics with the girls. Big Bro was busy cleaning up all of the cous-cous. He was amazingly helpful and I think making up for his teasing episodes earlier in the day.

Bedtime was a breeze; Big Bro gave himself only a few magnets on his “responsibility board” since he knew he had some bad behavior today. His evaluation of his performance was right on track – I give him credit for that.

I have some personal reading to do and need to figure out a recipe for tomorrow.
Til tomorrow,
– Mama K

Filed Under: Daily Journal Tagged With: creativity, divorce, flex time, parenting, part-time, working mom, working mother

January 16: Happy Birthday Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

January 16, 2012 by Mama K Leave a Comment

Monday. A day off for the kids. So I woke up to an empty house, again. I woke up later than usual since it was just me that I had to get ready. And I get ready quickly.

I do miss them. Don’t get me wrong, I loved my “break” over the weekend. But I miss Red’s smile the first thing in the morning, I miss Twin Crazy and Twin Husky and how they communicate with each other and try to use their words non-stop (spoon, bagel, thank you, thanks, water, please, SOOOOOO CUTTTTE). I miss Big Bro and his questions about how things work. I miss his sensitivity. I miss their smiles and even whines for “mommy time”. I sure they are doing OK and managing just fine without me. But it really helps to know that they are coming back to me. And that I am their mother above everyone else in the world.

The ferry is also relatively empty today. Martin Luther King day. A modern-day hero. A man who would not accept status-quo. A man that wanted to drive change for the betterment of all people. A man that was met with opposition. But he was fiercely determined and believed in the depths of his soul in what he was doing.

I will not kid myself to even directly compare myself to this great man. But I can relate to him. As we all can in some way. Today we celebrate his life. And this year, I will celebrate with a much different perspective – for I see a bit clearer and I feel a bit more of what he was trying to do. Certainly not on his scale, but in my own world it felt quite big.

So now I’m on the ferry to work. I will be busy today. I have planning to do for the next big meetings in April, I have billing to follow up on, and I have a presentation to prepare for this Wednesday for a proposal of work to a client. Presentations do not frighten me the way they did earlier in my career. If I know what I’m talking about, and I believe whole-heartedly in what I’m saying, I can be a very powerful speaker – and listener – and communicator.

Highlights of My Working Day:

I sent out some bills

I arranged two meetings related to a new initiative we will try to launch – a game changer!!!

I reviewed a PowerPoint discussion document of our proposal for a client meeting we will have on Wednesday.

I spent too much time sorting through personal items. I will have work to do tonight.

So now I’m sitting outside of my appointment office building. The office is closed. It is cold and I am early. My kids are likely at home now. I have not seen them since Friday morning. And when I get back it will likely be Red and Big Bro only awake. I hope they had fun. I hope they heard only good stories and nothing to make them scared. I need to be there for them.

Til tomorrow –
– Mama K

Filed Under: Daily Journal Tagged With: divorce, flex time, parenting, part-time work, separation, single mom, working mom, working mother

March 7: Just a day.

February 27: Going places!!!

February 22: Taking care of each other

February 15: Jamming!!!

February 8: Motion

February 1: Breakdowns

January 31: A very rough start of the day

January 30: Am I going Up or Down??!?!?!?

January 25: Creations

January 16: Happy Birthday Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

Mama In Motion

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