Staying Sane: Read

March 18, 2012 by 8 Comments

“We should read to give our souls a chance to luxuriate.” – Henry Miller

I remember several years ago when Big Bro ALWAYS had problems going to sleep at night. He would either fight with us or play or talk or sing himself to sleep. That issue seemed to fix itself when he stopped taking afternoon naps and now, falls into bed exhausted. He often is snoring as Red is still awake. I remember my mother talking to him about it and saying that she sometimes reads books to help her relax to go to sleep. He replied back to her that “I guess I’m just going to have to sing until I am able to learn how to read.” I thought that response was so cute. And now we’re on the cusp of him having to be able to do this… he’s reading beginner books from school and is also busy learning how to write. I’m excited that we have books to rely on if he becomes difficult at bedtime. And maybe I’ll get him a booklight for his birthday in May.

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Well, now Red has been our “problem child” in terms of transitions and sleep. I’ve been writing about this for several days/weeks now, since it’s hard to ignore when you feel like you’re dealing with a newborn again – one who refuses to sleep at night and also wakes up in the middle of the night. It’s difficult trying to manage this while co-parenting since we likely have different approaches. She got used to holding a hand (which did not come from me, but was still something that I’ve had to deal with). Over time Red and I have started with a consoling “rock” to sleep and have migrated to a quick “rock” and then me watching her, and then leaving her to come back and check on her, to last night….. I suggested that she look through a book to help her relax. She decided on a “princess” book and she obliged my request. She lay in her bed, quiet and still, while holding and leafing through a book looking at pictures and likely re-telling the story to herself inside her head. She drifted off to sleep by herself. She is having a problem with nap time now and I again suggested a book. So sweet. She is flipping through the pages, relaxing her body, and is close to sleep. [Update: She is now snoring. Books by her side.]

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And I’m sure many if not all of us have instituted a nighttime ritual with our children of reading a short story or book before their bedtimes. It winds them down. It signals a break from their day. It is quiet and engaging and peaceful.

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So for working mothers: When is the last time YOU’VE actually read a book? I mean from beginning to end? And not an article about baby food or pediatrician advice or anything baby related, child related, or pregnancy related? Or even Blogs. I mean a good old fashioned hardcover, softcover, or maybe iPad or Kindle version of words into sentences into stories…..???!?!?!?!?!?!?!? I know that our time during the day is an issue. I recognize that. But for those that are not imbibing in the written word maybe there’s a way to make the time at the end of the day? Or maybe sneak in some time during a commute to work? Maybe the trick is to find books with short chapters, or short sub-chapters, or simple easy to digest books? Or are downloadable books really the way to go?

Over the last two years I’ve read lots on kids, babies, even some People mags…. but there have been a few books that have made my list as well:

– The Twilight Series. All four books. A very easy read and I personally love vampires. The only thing about this was that it was extremely difficult to relate to the high-school characters. I had a hard time dealing with the petty drama that came along with the characters but overall, it was entertaining.
– The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo series by Stieg Larsson. I highly recommend these. Short chapters. Interesting story. Interesting, likeable characters. You can squeeze in 10 minutes at the end of each day and make progress through the books since the writing is easy to follow and the sub-chapters are short and manageable.

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– Ann Rice Vampire books – these were heavier in terms of writing style but extremely enjoyable reads. Again, my vampire facination is coming out a bit so you’re seeing a part of me that is new.

I’m thinking about looking into the True Blood novels next.

So anyway, I’m finding through my kids and through myself that reading does relax. It obviously transports you into a different world which can be a godsend when times seem too difficult to navigate. Escaping in a good book, or at least an easy book, might be the cheapest medicine (and therapy) one can buy.

What are you Mamas out there reading? Any suggestions for other Mamas on books that you think are easy to get through and worth a try to keep you calm and centered?

Thanks for listening –
– Mama K

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Staying Sane: Life & Love Not 2 Be Taken 4 Granted

March 11, 2012 by Leave a Comment

I’m settling in from a solo weekend where I pampered myself beyond belief. I tore myself out of this empty house and took a road-trip to a B&B spa. By myself. You don’t have to be lonely when you are alone. I indulged in massage, pool side relaxation, hydration baths, the sound of jazz, and talking about life with locals whom I just met.

Take Herbie for instance – a jazz musician who is known by all in this town. I met him during lunch on Saturday afternoon and he was getting ready for his music performance later that day. We sat next to each other at the counter, eating our lunches, and just started telling each other our stories. He told me of friends he had through his life….his family… his deceased wife… how he had to raise a 9 year old daughter by himself… how his sister helped him through that time… the decisions he made through life and the friends that he made and how his life, and life in general, just takes these twists and turns. And how when you look back you have these pockets of your life and you can see the decisions you make along the way and how they have impacted you and the people you love around you.

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I always enjoy speaking with older people like Herbie who have many years on me and who have stories to tell and who are still living life… He is known in his town. He still plays piano and does performances. He gets dressed up all of the time in a suit. He lives each day.

So – for working mothers. Days, weeks, months go by so quickly. We know this. Our lives are busy and each hour is precious. And we see this as our kids grow up too fast. I am going to try and be better to stop and notice and recognize that life and love should not be taken for granted. Through the craziness and mayhem and juggling, I am going to make the time – maybe first thing in the morning – to really think about this. Maybe write it down on a piece of paper and tape it on my mirror. Will you join me?

Thanks for listening –
– Mama K

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January 3: Hectic, hectic morning… still recovering…

January 3, 2012 by Leave a Comment

First day back to the normal routine – getting four kids ready, three drop offs, and a race to the ferry to commute to the city. It was tight. We literally dropped Red off at daycare with one sock on, and two shoes in her hands. That’s how tight it was. I’m on the ferry now, heart still pounding realizing I really need to get in shape. I know that’s what everyone is thinking right now with new year’s resolutions, so I’ll join you in that.

Highlights of my Morning and Commute:

  • Still getting used to my “new normal”. Where is my comb? Where are my shoes? Toothbrush?
  • Grabbed instant coffee to get myself started. I had a terrible nights sleep due to allergy attack from cat dander from hand-me-down clothes from friend. I’m still sneezy.
  • Grabbed the piles of clothes from upstairs for Red and Big Bro. For some reason they just stepped over those piles without putting anything on. I still think it’s a great part of the routine to pick out the clothes the night before…. if they put them on by themselves, I guess that’s an added bonus.
  • Chocolate Tuesday – even with the Twins. There were four chocolate faces that I kissed this morning. Twin Crazy was very vocal asking for more bread and chocolate. And a banana that fell into her oatmeal. I rinsed it off and we all laughed and both twins continued to talk about the fallen banana.
  • Diaper changes. I love that time with the Twins. Twin Husky was looking at Twin Crazy’s bear so that threw her off into a tantrum. Full fledged now. The type where she throws her body on the floor. She is a fire-cracker. She was fine when it was her turn and Twin Husky gave her the bear back.
  • Twin Crazy was fixated on washing her hands in the bathroom sink, even though I already washed her hands with wipes. She is stubborn and if she has something in her mind she needs to follow through with it. There is no side-tracking her (unlike her brother).

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  • Big Bro got dressed just fine. Red was a problem, as usual as of late. Issues with the shirt, issues with the socks, etc. I had to physically maneuver her arms and legs to get her dressed. I should not be doing this with her – and we were tense since we were running extremely late.
  • We grabbed the kids and headed to the van. It will be tight to do all three drop offs at this time: 8:10AM!!! We rushed the Twins in – Twin Crazy was asking for Sponge Bob. I know this daycare provider keeps the TV on all day long which I hate. And now these Twins can talk and tell us what they do during the day. Big Bro drop off went smooth. Red was a mess. She was half dressed but smiling.
  • We tore into the ferry parking lot and just made it onto the ferry. I have no make-up on, wet hair, and have no wallet.

This was one of those days where the blood pressure was sky high. On the drive to the ferry parking lot, I looked back in time and asked myself how the hell did I do this 5 days in a row non-stop with four children and multiple drop offs from July 2010 to November 2011? It was crazy!!! A good, competent nanny would have made life a lot easier for us but would have cost more money and the thought of hiring one was daunting for us – even though we interviewed several.

Anyway, I’m glad that I’m only doing this routine two times a week now, thank goodness.

Work will be busy today. I not only have to finish off my documents that I wanted to have completed by year end (dropped the ball here) but there are some meetings scheduled that will take my time. I’m looking forward to getting to a fuller office with people. Talking with adults and hearing how their breaks were.

Highlights of My Working Day:

  • Got more coffee and a danish on the way to work. Put make up on in the bathroom. OK now I’m ready.
  • Went through emails, got caught up. Wrote a to-do list
  • One conference call canceled; yeah
  • Started to prepare for another call that I would be leading, relating to sales efforts for a new forum. Shit. I haven’t done shit about outreach to prospective clients. So I reached out to everyone on my list and actually got great feedback from 3 prospective clients!!! YEAH!! Procrastination to the new year worked!!! 🙂
  • I attempted to do the meeting minutes from months ago but just can’t seem to crack that one. I need to offload this task to someone else the next time around. This is ridiculous.
  • I found out that a teacher of mine from High School passed away from cancer. I just sat there feeling the loss for several moments. I’ve felt so much loss over the year but this was a different kind of loss. And fear. He couldn’t have been more than 20 years older than us and was the closest teacher-friend I had in school. Hearing news like that just reinforced that our time here is limited and everyone should be doing the things that bring happiness. Despite the upheaval in my life right now, I am actually happier now than I’ve been all last year and possibly longer.

It was good to be in the office today. I enjoyed catching up with my colleagues and talking about their breaks with family. I also needed to talk about mine as well. I feel good today but fear this is the calm before the storm. So I am going to soak in the happiness now while I can. And hug my kids and look into their eyes and talk to them – all of them – we have no babies in the house anymore.

I’m on the ferry back and it is sunny out. I head back 1 hour earlier to get Big Bro and the rest, and also to get dinner started. It makes a difference. Dinner is usually done by 6 PM which curbs the crankiness and gives us lots of time to connect with the kids before they go to bed.

Dinner and Bedtime:

  • I picked up Red and she smiled, jumped from her chair, ran over and slammed into my legs with the biggest hug. Her teacher said that she was in a great mood all day since her best friend was back from vacation. We picked up Big Bro and the kids hid behind composting trash cans on the way out. I kept asking where the kids were and if my kids were carrot tops, old bread, potato peels… they were giggling. Big Bro made a calendar at school and circled this Thursday since that is the day his new sheets will arrive. Twin pick up was great. Twin Crazy needs to do her top buckle by herself. Twin Husky enjoys pointing to the moon and talking about the moon.
  • I cooked dinner – fish, curry cous-cous, frozen string beans. All kids devoured their meal. We actually ran out of food. It was kindof crazy as I was cooking. Twin Crazy was standing on a stool turning on and off the lights and saying “Its dark in her now.” Twin Husky was on top of the small table, and also pulling another small chair around to see at the different counters, put the TV on, and get himself into trouble. Twin Crazy needed a diaper change, BADLY. And then she demanded to wash her hands at the bathroom sink non-stop (actually for the rest of the evening). Big Bro was fine, playing Legos. Red was also fine, until she got into a fight with Big Bro and started a crying fit. I sat with Red, then Twin Crazy wanted to sit with us. Twin Crazy sat on my lap too and we talked about how Red was sad and how she was crying. Twin Crazy helped me console Red by patting her back, rubbing her back, and talking softly to her. I wish I could have taken a picture of it, but my camera was not with me and I did not want to disturb this sisterly moment.
  • I threw in some laundry before I sat down to dinner so our mothers helper could be busy. We literally have between 7-10 loads of laundry per week.
  • After dinner was play-time; I was busy running around and chasing the kids, tickling them, wrestling with them. I think I wore them out more than they wore me out.
  • We received 12 tubes of kid’s toothpaste from Amazon. They are excited to keep toothpaste upstairs for night-time and downstairs for after breakfast brushing.
  • Big Bro asked where his sheets were now. On a ship? I replied probably on a truck or a plane. I also said that we can track the shipment so I’ll do that with him tomorrow.
  • Bedtime was easy; their favorite book right now is The Tale of Peter Rabbit by Beatrix Potter. That book was one of my favorites when I was a kid and I love that they now love that book too. We talk about the pictures and the story and which parts scare them and they always seem to come up with a new question for me. So sweet.

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Today was a good day. Despite the mad rush in the morning, the rest of the day was low-key and the morning actually made me appreciate the days where I do not have that crazy commute.

I’m going to take it easy now in my new set up and enjoy my surroundings. I think I’ll also learn how to stream movies/shows from Amazon since I’m an Amazon Prime customer. I should be able to do that for free but don’t know how…

Til tomorrow –
– Mama K

p.s. Both Big Bro and Red just came into my room, smiling, climbing into my bed, laughing, climbing all over me, hugging me, laughing, laughing, smiling, hugging… saying to me that they each needed more “Mommy time”. My heart melts. I cannot resist. I hug my babies close to me and feel thankful for the love they give to me.

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December 29: A Day for the Siblings

December 29, 2011 by Leave a Comment

Today was a day at home with the children. No work. I had all four of them since Big Bro’s public school is still closed, and since Red became VERY upset at the thought of everyone home except for her. So I gladly kept her home from pre-school today as well. You would think – 4 kids – all day – man that woman must be wiped out. Truth is, I’m not. I’m surprisingly very, very relaxed. No tension in my neck. No sadness. No aching. No worrying. I’m just, well, “being”. And it feels wonderful.

We spent the day eating, playing, building legos, playing doll-house, setting up LeapPads, having the kids teach me about their LeapPads, napping, going to the library, cooking….. some fighting, some biting/hitting/yelling. But it was mostly laughing. It was mostly excitement. The kids really enjoyed being together. And playing together. Big kids interacting with the little kids – in a good way and also not-so-good way. But they were together. And they were being kids, being siblings with each other. I loved it.

Some of the highlights that really grabbed me today:

  • Waking up to Red smiling next to my bed. She was in a great mood. Then suddenly, and out of nowhere, she turned crabby. I think it’s because she realized that she was not staying home ALONE with me – that the rest of the kids were going to be there too. So I sat with her. I rocked with her in silence. She needed to calm herself down and I needed to hold her.
  • Big Bro holding Twin Crazy – he asked her and she said “yes”. They were both really having fun – Twin Crazy with a HUGE grin on her face that she was being taken care of by her big brother. He did the same with Twin Husky but it did not grab me in the same way…

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  • It took an amazingly LONG time to get out the door today. I really don’t know why. Red was really a problem this morning. She was taking her time and changing her mind about pants. Pants. I must have touched and retouched 50 pairs of pants. I eventually told her that I was losing my patience and we were close to not going anywhere so she better decide and SOON. I think she needs more of my time but I don’t like giving it to her in this way — its too draining; no fun at all.
  • Walking into the library with my four munchkins in a line; the librarians all know our family. They are patient with us and our noise. Each of the Twins introduced the librarian with their comfort toys (a tiger for Twin Husky, a lovely blanket for Twin Crazy). Twin Crazy and Twin Husky wanted to spend most of their time drinking from the water fountain. They started fighting and I knew it was time to gather the kids quickly when I heard Twin Crazy screaming at the fountain and Twin Husky bending over to bite her. As we were checking out our books, I asked the librarian if she could make our check-out into several “transactions”. She “got it” immediately and was so good with the kids. The kids wanted to check out their own books with the one library card so she rung them each up separately (except for Twin Husky, who was wandering around with his thumb in his mouth, not interested in checking out books).

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  • Grabbing ice cream with the kids at 11 AM. We were the only ones there. Big Bro wanted to go there in daylight so we could eat in the outside courtyard. I usually get little cups for the Twins but they amazed me – they sat there and held their little cones and ate their cones without any major spills or losses of food. They sat on a bench that circled a HUGE tree and were so cute. Afterwards, the sugar started to kick in and they started to play follow-the-leader on top of the bench that encircled the tree. I sat there quietly and watched them. I was taking it all in. I took some movies. I captured how Big Bro was interacting with the little ones and how the little ones were having so much fun doing the same thing the older kids were doing. They are a pack of four now. It is now that REALLY feel like I have four, distinct, separate, individual, and lively children. I am very lucky that they are all happy, healthy, and honestly look out for each other.

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  • While Red was napping, her LeapPad arrived. I thing Big Bro was more excited about it than she was today. Anyway, Big Bro wanted to surprise her so he set it out by her bed so she could see it and be surprised when she woke up from her nap. I love how he can be so sweet. I love how he thinks of his siblings. I love how he just “gets” them. Knows what makes them happy. Knows what they need. He is really amazing.

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  • I wanted Big Bro to rest/nap – but he wanted to put his Lego space shuttle together first. Together we worked to get it finished, quickly. I looked at each instruction page and gathered the pieces needed, and handed them to Big Bro to stick them on. I know he enjoyed me helping him with his Lego set, just the two of us. But I think I enjoyed it more than him.
  • I made a roast today. I am having fun “nesting” with my babes. I sat on the floor and showed Twin Crazy and Twin Husky the peeler and taught them about the skin on the carrots and potato. I showed them how I peel the skin off and they felt the strips and laughed at the ones that went flying over the trash bucket I was using. Both were running to grab the strips and threw them in the trash bucket for me. I had them smell the peeled carrots and the peeled potato and explained that we could really smell the food now that the skins were off. I love spending time like this with them. I know that our daycare provider does not interact with them in this way. I love teaching them new things. And talking about the world around them. After dinner, Red was sitting on my lap and then leaning over, laughing and saying “ouch – mommy – my head is going into the hot lava”, pretending that the floor was a river of lava. She cracks me up.
  • We closed out the night watching a Sponge Bob show about Christmas and Santa. I had Twin Crazy on my lap. I then had Red laying next to me with a blanket. Then Red was on my knee, with a blanket, covering Twin Crazy and putting her arm around her, still on my lap. Then Twin Husky came over and sat on my other knee. So I had three kids in my lap, with my arms around them and talking with them about the show. Too cute.

    I had four kids today, got impatient with them yes, but had a different kind of fun with them. They were all together. I mostly sat back and watched the interaction. I was essentially a person shuffling them between different activities but really stood on the sidelines and just watched them. Watched them talk. Watched them laugh. Watched them care for each other. Watched them share.

    Where I could, I stole one-on-one time. But it was mostly a day for the siblings. And tomorrow will be another such day. I’m looking forward to it.

    It’s amazing how my life has changed — thinking back to my 20s, my 30s — one decade totally selfish while the next totally self-less. And now. How I revel in moments with my children whereas before it was a good dinner out, or dancing with friends, or doing shots in Hoboken, or… … … … I know that these days when my kids are very young will fly by. I’ve heard it soooo many times before. That’s why I’m choosing to be with them now and soak them in now while I have this time. While I can make them laugh. While three can sit in my lap. I’m soaking it in and smiling – knowing that I’m lucky.

    Til tomorrow –
    – Mama K

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    December 7: Learning more about my kids every day

    December 7, 2011 by Leave a Comment

    I get to work from home today! YEAH!

    Highlights of My Morning and “Commute”:

      • I went into Big Bro’s room to gather clothes, and he was just waking up. He was stretching, saw me, and then said: “Mommy, today is going to be special for TWO reasons.” Me: “Yes sweetie? What are those reasons?” Big Bro: “Today I get to go on a scooter ride to school with you, and later today you are going to pick me up early so we can buy new sneakers.” I just stood there. Speechless. Then I reached over to him and gave him a very gentle good morning kiss on his head. He does not know how happy he made me at that moment, and even now as I type this. I asked him if he likes it now that I get to work from home and also not work everyday and he said yes, he likes it alot. We both agreed that I should have done this alot sooner… 🙂
      • Kids were eating breakfast at the counter again this AM – the only problem is that we only have three bar-stools. Big Bro did not want to kneel on a chair or use a step-stool. So does that mean I have to buy another bar-stool???? Uhhh, yeah, with four kids that require EVERYTHING to be the same, ummm, yes I should probably bite the bullet and get one. UGHHHGHGHHG. Hopefully I can find one that matches the other three.

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      • Red was funny today – she put a stuffed animal under her shirt and said she had a baby in there. It was funny and everyone was poking her belly saying “baby”. Then we realized that it was Big Bro’s stuffed animal in there and then some fights/tantrums started. Ugggh. Can’t a cute moment just STAY a cute moment??@??!?!?
      • I was running around upstairs getting things and running from room to room but all the doors mysteriously were closing on me. Seriously. I’d turn around an the door would be shut. It was like Poltergeist or something. I opened a door and there was Twin Husky laughing at me. So now I guess he knows how to open and close doors.
      • We gathered our things and set out for our scooter ride. Twins were in the stroller. It was cold. We were late. I was hustling. My heart was thumping. Nose running. I am OUT OF SHAPE. Big Bro couldn’t help but scooter through a big pile of leaves when he saw it. So cute.

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      • After Big Bro drop off I strolled the Twins to daycare. Along the way Twin Crazy and Twin Husky each started to look up at me and play peek-a-boo. I wasn’t in a rush so I took my time and played with them. One would look up, and I’d smile and laugh and giggle and tickle their neck and touch their cheek. Each time one would look up, that is the routine I would do. We had a great time walking several blocks like this. Twin Husky is also now fixated at pointing to all of the basketball nets along the way (there are lots in the suburbs).

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      • My commute home was relaxing. The stroller was light so it was less of a workout. I was thinking about work. I was checking work email on my way home. Getting meetings scheduled and checking to see that we were getting content in to include in our client deliverable.

    Highlights of My Working Day:

      • I set up my computer, phones, blanket, coffee, water, and a candle. I made breakfast for myself.
      • I had several conference calls today debriefing from our forums. Again, received great thoughts on how to improve and provide more value to the group.
      • I spent the rest of my 1/2 day working on my client deliverable. It is in really good shape. It went out to the client in the early afternoon. Now we just have the meeting tomorrow.

    The Rest of the Day:

      • I went to Big Bro’s parent-teacher conference. She is wonderful. So much patience and such a sweet disposition with the kids. I like her a lot. She says that Big Bro is the “reliable guy” but could use more help with self-confidence and being able to describe his opinion and thoughts and how he feels and examples of situations from his own life in the classroom. He has a hard time when his “home” world and “school” worlds collide. There was a bit that was a surprise to me but I’m already thinking of ways to work with him on certain things to help him get better at stating his opinion and offering more of himself during conversation. I guess we all have trouble with that but in his case its a bit harder for him compared to his peers. So I left the meeting a bit scarred, and feeling like I needed to protect my little big boy first born.
      • I grabbed him and we went to buy new shoes. During our one-on-one time I took the opportunity to practice “thought” and “feeling” questions with him. We both have some practicing to do. He loves his shoes. I’m glad I was able to spend the time with him and make him happy.

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      • We picked up Red, and Twin Crazy and Twin Husky. All kids were going crazy looking at the holiday lights on all of the houses. We also played a game where we would flubber our lips each time we past a house with lights. All kids were doing this. And me. We had fun.
      • We realized that daycare dressed Twin Husky in a Phillies shirt – the same one that Big Bro was wearing! We laughed that they were twins.

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      • During dinner prep I had the music on loud and was dancing with Twin Crazy while holding her. She loves this. She loves to dance in my arms. She loves me jumping and swaying and spinning. She cracks up. Surprisingly, Big Bro joined us for the dancing in the kitchen. He never really has done this before. It was great! We were really dancing hard in the kitchen and thats when Hubby came in. We calmed down after that and ate dinner.
      • After dinner I did horsie-back rides with all of the kids. They each stayed on the 2nd/3rd step and waited their turn while I went around with a kid. They were loving it. Again, I feel like I’m out of shape.
      • Then bathtime. All kids needed it. Twins went to bed early. Bigger kids followed soon thereafter.

    I had a great day. We got a reasonably good piece of work out to the client for discussion tomorrow. I also had time at home and with the kids to play, dance, and laugh. I also learned a little more about my son. I learned a side to him that does not surprise me after thinking about it, but still upsets me a bit since he is a quiet, empathetic, and sensitive little guy. So I feel for him. And I want to work with him to make it better for him. So today was a good day. I’m learning more about my kids and my family with each passing day.

    Til tomorrow –
    – Mama K

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    Repost and Poll: Money vs. Quality of time with your kids????

    December 6, 2011 by Leave a Comment

    As some of you may be aware, I have struggled with the notion of “work” and “family” for quite some time now, and have recently made a signficant career transition based upon my energy levels, my happiness, and advice and pleading from many, many people.    I essentially took a 50% cut in hours and pay which also includes some flex-time and the ability to work from home on one of my three working days.   So this has been a monumental change for me and my family:

    • I am happier, less stressed, and able to connect on a more deeper level with my children.  I am able to participate in school events and spend special 1 on 1 time with the kids.  My relationships with my babies have flourished.   I am more effective at work and take my job much more seriously than I have in the past.
    • My kids seem happier, are coming up with ideas for their 1:1 time with Mommy, and hug me harder, longer, and with more intensity.  I feel like I’m being the kind of mother that they need / want me to be.

    But of course this has come at a cost.  A cost that I am willing to make at this point in my life.

    I thought I would redistribute a post/poll that I wrote several months ago when another Mama In Motion was in the middle of her transition.  It just seems right for me to send this out again since I am going through a transition of my own….

    Humor me and please follow the below link to my post, and also respond to the polls within.  If you have already particpated previously, it is possible that you will be unable to answer a second time (sorry).

    http://mamainmotion.com/2011/08/09/random-thought-when-evaluating-new-job-opportunities-would-you-sacrifice-quality-of-time-with-your-kids-for-more-money/

    Thanks so much for following me – have a great day

    Thanks for listening –

    – Mama K

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    December 2: A post after my work Holiday party

    December 3, 2011 by 3 Comments

    OK. This may be a strange post. It;s 12 am after my holiday party. I want to wrap up the week;s posts and talk about my day. I am not sober. Foirgive me for any mis-spellings. It was a great day.

  • I walked big bro to school and had the Twins with me. Big Bo was so cute making sure that his scooter was locked up with his bike lock. I love his independence and also his maturity. He looked at me with a smile when he locked the bike lock successfully.

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  • I spent a good portion of the day straightening up the house and also going through clothes. With four kids, this is always a project. I had the twins with me and they were playing the whole time as I was going through their closet. Twin Husky was being a funny guy and decided to pretend to go “night-night” on one of the shelves with his stuffed animals. So cute.

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  • Not to be gross, but I caught another “twin moment” today. I was going to the bathroom and had to switch rolls of toilet paper, and this is what the twins started doing… putting their faces on either end and talking to each other and laughing through the tube:

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  • We then finished unpacking our Holiday decorations, which included all of these fuzzy singing things; they all needed batteries so that was our project. Finding the right tool to undo the screws on the toys and then also replacing the batteries. The Twins were mesmerized. I also took out the holiday carousel and they were talking about the horsies and trying to feed them chedder cheese goldfish crackers.

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  • We had lunch together. I love this picture of Twin Crazy:

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  • After naps we picked up Big Bro and Red. I bribed them for a picture all lined up in return for animal crackers. It worked.

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  • We went shopping for hubby’s birthday. It was really cute all of us going through the parking lot together, going through the store together… they were a bit rambuncious so it was a bit difficult but all in all we did well together and they picked out their gifts for their dad.

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  • We then went food shopping for cereal. They were so cute. I got stares. They all listen so well. At check out they started to play with candy but I told them that “candy” is not on our list so they would need to put everything back where they found it. Everyone listened. Even Twin Husky. I think the line of people behind me were amazed.

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    We then got home and played around a bit. I got them dinner and then got ready to leave for my holiday party. I missed them but enjoyed my time away. And yes, I did show pictures of them to my colleagues from my iPhone. Many that I shared with you tonight. I hope I’m not too overwhelming with my attachment to my kids. But what can you do. I am who I am.

    I had a great night and will take some Advil now to prepare for tomorrow.
    Have a great weekend all –
    – Mama K

    Filed Under: Daily Journal Tagged With: , , , , , , , ,

    November 30: Stealing Red

    November 30, 2011 by Leave a Comment

    Half of a work day! From home! YES!!!!

    Highlights of My Morning and “Commute”:

    • Red woke me up proud that she was already dressed for the morning. However, she only changed her top. So she did great, 1/2 of the way.
    • The Twins came bounding into the room – lots of hugs and jumping. I love that part of the day when the kids are excited to see us. By the time they reach Big Bro’s age, I guess they lull in bed and you have to tear them out and ask if it’s OK to give them a morning hug and kiss. 🙂
    • Downstairs, all kids were at the kitchen counter on stools. It was so cute. They were all lined up and sharing space and eating. As Hubby made lunches, Twin Husky hurled himself on the counter to reach for sliced apples. So they really had a diverse breakfast this morning.

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    • The older kids knew that I was working from home today, and a 1/2 day. So Big Bro knew that I was going to walk the Twins to daycare and also have him scooter his way to school. He was thrilled, but Red was upset about this. But then Red also knew that I was going to “steal” her from pre-school today early, and spend some 1:1 time with her (since Big Bro had time with me 1:1 last week). She was thrilled, but Big Bro was upset about this. So there they were fighting about the time they were going to spend with me. Big Bro wants Wednesday afternoons to be “Big Bro and Red” time together with me, versus 1:1 time. I asked him if we could talk about it later since Red would also have to agree. For now, she is excited about potentially going on a choo-choo train ride, and at that point Big Bro threw himself on the floor in a tantrum.
    • The walk to school/daycare was great. We by chance met up with our neighbors who also walk/bike to the school. I call all the kids together the “Motley Crew” — I laugh about that, and of course the kids have no clue what I’m alluding to. So together we all walked/strolled/scootered/biked to school. Big Bro had a great time and felt grown up as he locked up his scooter to the chain-linked fence.
    • I then strolled the Twins to daycare and brought along a potty for Twin Crazy, just in case she feels brave enough to try the potty at daycare. The Twins love the stroller rides in the morning. I have a feeling they do not get the chance to be “really” outside during the day at daycare. We talked about the falling leaves, the leaves on the ground, the sound of barking dogs….
    • My walk back was great. It felt good to get out, walk the trail back home, see the leaves on the ground, know that the kids were all close-by. So that stroll back by myself was my “commute” home and to work for the day. I LOVE THIS NEW WORKING ARRANGEMENT….

    Highlights of my 1/2 Working Day:

    I had a great day at home working and I think that working 1/2 days at home are so much better than full days. On full days, I tended to get sluggish from the absence of people. But 4 hours at home is a breeze. It gives me just enough time to be productive and not waste time. It occurs to me that I have so many pictures posted of my kids but nothing related to my work. So here it goes — below is my working set up while at home. Comfy couch, wired computer, plenty of coffee and water. And my phones close by.

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    • I had to troubleshoot some reporting problems we have with one of the forums I am managing. There are data issues and report distribution issues that I was not aware of. I think the problem is being addressed, but it does not make our firm look good to our clients. I need to make sure this type of thing does not happen again in the future…
    • I am happy to report that I received the work in progress work for my client project from the consultant who is helping me, and it looked like a REALLY good first start. I therefore was happily and aggressively working on the deliverable – it is so much easier for me to pull something together when I have good, strong, smart people working with me and creating materials that I can simply review versus re-do. So I had a very productive morning and sent off a first draft of the deliverable to my Directors for their first review. I will need to focus on content early next week and we will meet with the client at the end of next week. I think we are in good shape so I feel great about that.
    • I then submitted my timesheet and signed off for the day. 🙂

    The Rest of the Day:

    • I went to lunch at 1:15 and ate at a great sushi place while typing on my iPad. I called Red’s pre-school to see when they wake up from nap. 2:30. Great. That gave me time to go food shopping before I stole her for our 1:1 time….
    • Red was so excited to see me. She was smiling and jumping up and down. She was literally speechless.

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    • I asked her what she wanted to do and she wanted to go shopping for new underwear for Twin Crazy. So cute. I suggested feeding the ducks first. We had a great time. She sat on my lap. There were four different kinds of ducks there all with different looks and different quacks. Some were meek and some were aggressive. We talked about the different kinds of ducks and tried to throw the bread to the meeker ducks.

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    • We then went shopping. On our way we made a list. I never walk into a store until I make a verbal list with the kids. This prevents melt-downs when I say we cannot buy random stuff at the store that they happen to fall in love with. So on our list was 1) underwear for Twin Crazy, and 2) sneakers for Red. When we walked in there I was sidetracked by blankets and Red quickly remarked “No Mommy. That’s not on our list.” I couldn’t believe it. “Thank you [Red] for keeping me on track.” So cute. Then she got sidetracked with the Christmas ornaments but she did not break down in a tantrum when we moved on because they were not on the list. We shopped for sneakers. She needed a pair with lights. We went shopping for small underwear for Twin Crazy. She picked out a package that she thought Twin Crazy would like. We stopped at a drug store for pull-ups for Twin Crazy. I found the right size and gender, and Red picked out a package that she wanted us to buy. She is so sweet. Shopping for Twin Crazy was the first thing she wanted to do with her alone time with me. I am so lucky that these kids are so empathetic with each other.

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    • We then picked up Big Bro and the Twins; I cooked a quick dinner; we tried more potty time with Twin Crazy without luck – but she loved the pull-ups (so much so that she had on about 4 or 5 pairs all over her legs). I felt like I didn’t have enough time with Twin Husky but I’ll make it up to him tomorrow.

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    I had a great day. I felt like I contributed to our family finances and then had the opportunity to steal my child for 1:1 time. Dinner and after dinner was a blur with kids and a flurry of activity but I enjoyed it; and am enjoying my couch now even more than earlier today! Wait a minute…. I hear some stifled laughing at the steps…. I better go now and be a tough-ass so these kids respect me and go to bed.

    Till tomorrow –
    – Mama K

    Filed Under: Daily Journal Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , ,

    Random Thought: What type of Mama In Motion are you?

    November 22, 2011 by Leave a Comment

    I’ve recently made a HUGE transition in my working arrangement at my company.   I’ve realized (and have been tortured over the decision, to be blunt) over the past several years and months that although I like contributing to the financial security of our family and like the challenges of having a job/career, I wanted to make some changes to the time committment that I make to my work compared to the time committment I make to my family.  So, I’ve essentially went from a Full Time worker, to a Full time with some flex time (e.g., working from home), to a Part-time worker also leveraging flex-time.   Quite a change!!!

    I’m curious to hear from you — what type of Mama In Motion are you?

    Thanks for sharing – more on this topic over the next several weeks.

    – Mama K

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    November 17: Too good to be true???

    November 17, 2011 by Leave a Comment

    Today was a day home for me, off from work, but working as a Mom for my kids. I had a wonderful, fullfilling day, and am ending it with several glasses of wine with/after dinner. So I’m a bit loopy while writing this.

    There was a lot happening today – tickles, clothes changes, stroller rides, water spills, throwing food/toys, playing with puzzles, spilled coffee, running around the house, reading books, and more books, and pointing at the things in the books, and talking about the books, napping, …… below are some of the special moments of the day:

  • I walked with the Twins along with Big Bro on his scooter to school. He was so excited. The weather was crisp but he still wanted to wear a short sleeve shirt and no jacket. It was beautiful. The trees are turning colors here and there are so many leaves on the ground. The Twins were talking about everything they saw…. dogs, leaves, cars, balls… they are so observant and they really enjoy the stroller rides in the morning. Big Bro was a whiz on his scooter. I kept looking at him scooting ahead of us and just kept thinking about how fast time goes by. I look at his face and I still see aspects of his features from when he was a baby. But here he is. On a scooter. Whizzing by. And swerving. And headed to school. I just can’t believe it. 5 years. So much has happened over these 5 years and now we’ve gone past this one serious baby with a ton of hair to a kid – a kid going to school – with 3 siblings. Twins no less. I just can’t believe it. How fast will the next five years go? Big Bro will be 10!!!! Red will be 8!!!! The Twins almost 7!!!! I honestly cannot even imagine what my life will be like then – it seems so far away and we are not rooted now so who knows where we will be….. so much to look forward to. But I knowt the time will go by quickly.

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    The biggest look of accomplishment was probably Big Bro rigging up his scooter to the fence with his bike lock and setting the lock so that his scooter would be safe. He was so happy. What a prize that must have been for him after that long ride and bout of exercise!

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  • The Twins and I then strolled home in the crisp air. I loved the walk on the leaves. I loved the stroll with both kids so alert and pointing and talking about things. They are so sweet and I feel like this really is a different experience for them compared to the daycare they receive during the other days of the week.

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  • When at home, we had snacks and played…. but then I saw something that really surprised me. I thought that the little ones were getting into places they shouldn’t…. but now I know the reason why. Twin Crazy has learned how to open doors!!!! She can swiftly open a door while Twin Husky waits, and then they both get themselves into trouble. Partners in crime…./li>

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  • We then went to the beach. We had so much fun there. The kids just explored and played and poured sand and walked around and found treasure and fed seagulls and ate bananas and felt the sun and looked at the water and laughed. There were definitely some special moments during our time there. Twin Crazy sharing her banana with Twin Husky. Both of them feeding the seagulls and almost engulfed in all of the flying wings (with NO poop accidents!!), and also finding a hole that was previously dug and sliding into it and laughing and giggling and then the other sliding into it. I’m not sure who found it first, but the pure joy and laughter and interaction between the two of them was just too amazing to put into words. Both were seriously laughing to the point of their throats getting sore, I’m sure. And there I was, probably 30 feet away and just observing, laughing as loud as they were. It was fantastic. I felt relaxed and breathed in deeply and felt the warm sun on my body and watched my beautiful twins interact in a way that I really don’t understand. I couldn’t have planned a better trip./li>

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  • We then went to lunch at Chipotle. They were both dancing to the music. I overheard people saying that I have “two of them”. They have no clue. We had a great time and the kids were perfectly behaved. Except that Twin Crazy kept trying to steal her brother’s food. I felt very in control at that moment. I was enjoying the kids and did not feel any stress at all. Couples with young kids and especially a child 21 months old can get very stressed especially in restaurant settings. I feel so at ease with these children. I treat them like people and not like babies. They respond so well to that. We had fun together. All of us bouncing our heads to the music. Twin Husky trying my burritto. Twin Crazy drinking her milk to the point of her cheeks getting so filled up like a hampster’s set of cheeks. Too cute. I had a great time with them. They were more than readyt for anap by the time we got home.

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  • After naps we headed back in our stroller to pick up Big Bro. We strolled/scootered back home and then got immediately in the mini-van to pick up Red. Red was in the playground and when she saw me she bounded across the playground and threw herself at me with such force that I almost was swept backwards. She hugged me and laughed with such conviction that I wanted to freeze the time and hold her longer, longer, longer. Her teacher said to her – “see Jessica, you’re mommy DID pick you up early today!!!”. I love being able to do this with both Red and Big Bro. It makes these days special for each of them. We played around in another playground at her school for awhile afterwards – just the four of them – our own private playground. They really enjoyed being reunited and I enjoyed watching them.

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  • I then made a fabulous dinner when all of them were playing in the house. I took breaks to play with them; I also had to take breaks to console them – nighttime can be rough for tired kids. Once Hubby arrived we ate and ate and ate and I drank too much red wine. I will need to drink a gallon of water to save myself tomorrow. I had to do many jumping jacks to get Big Bro and Red to try their pork/meat. Once they tried it they loved it and kept eating it, but I still did like 75 jumping jacks anyway – probably a feeling of needing to get in shape, but also the wine had something to do with it I suppose. Bedtime was great.

    • So now I’m sitting here on the couch, listening to U2 and feeling the buzz from the great wine I drank too much of. I really had a wonderful day. I need to figure out a way to spend more time with Big Bro and Red. I want to devote Wednesday’s for them, while the Twins are at daycare and after my 1/2 day of work. Maybe I can switch off between the two and do something special, one-on-one for each. It is becoming clear to me that the older ones need more of my time, and that the younger ones need more time with BOOKS. They can’t get enough of them.

    And I can’t get enough of days like this.

    Til tomorrow –
    – Mama K

    Filed Under: Daily Journal Tagged With: , , , , , ,
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