August 5: Extra time with my pumpkins but still so depressed

August 5, 2011 by 4 Comments

Today I was lucky to have some extra time with Red, Twin Husky, and Twin Crazy – their daycare provider had a doctor appointment so I had to bring them in later.   Because of this I took the liberty to work from home.

Highlights of the Morning and Commute:

  • I got up a big slowly (drank too many beers the night before) but made it to the shower and downstairs in time to organize a few things before the kids were up
  • I took it slow.   There really was no rush since I did not have to take the ferry.   I enjoyed the kids.
  • I had four piles of clothes today, versus the normal two.   This is because daycare usually changes Twin Husky and Twin Crazy into day clothes for us – it makes our morning routine easier that way.  But today, we had four piles which was fun.
  • The kids cooperated with breakfast.   I made a full pot of coffee for my day at home.
  • When it was time to go, I had all kids get ready with shoes etc.  Twin Husky and Twin Crazy both came to me, one by one, to get their shoes on.
  • We dropped of Big Bro at school – he knew we were all coming in but he specifically requested that not everyone come into his classroom.   I agreed to this.  So the plan was to get the siblings set up in the “common room” at pre-school with toys and then privately drop of Tyler.  He was happy with this plan.
  • When I got them out of the van they were all well-behaved and stayed on the sidewalk holding hands.   The group knows to do this, especially if we are in a parking lot or crossing a street.
  • We got inside and the siblings were excited about the toys which were new to them.   Big Bro was happy that he had me to himself for drop off, and that his friends didn’t have to look at a huge group of kids (his kids) as they welcomed him into the room.
  • Red, Twin Husky, and Twin Crazy had a blast at pre-school.  We stayed there for an hour, playing with dolls, legos, plastic animals — playing make-believe in a kitchen area — climbing/sitting/getting down from chairs and doing it again, and again, and again.   They really had fun.
Kids playing with "new" toys at Big Bro's pre-school
  • When it was time to leave they were great.   Again, they stayed on the sidewalk until I shuffled them in the van.
  • We cruised by the library but it wasn’t open yet, so we went home.   Had a blueberry snack, watched our landlord mow our lawn, colored with markers, played with a keyboard, and did a puzzle.    There was only one problem (a BIG one)…. Twin Husky bit Twin Crazy’s finger.   I couldn’t believe it.   We’ve never had a biter.   I reprimanded him with a very harsh tone and he looked down but did not cry.   He took it like a man.   Then about a minute later Red came screaming over to me saying that Twin Husky tried to bite her.   Oh shit.   I can’t deal with this.  Daycare then called at 11:30 so I happily dropped them off.
  • After their drop off I headed to the food store – bought a chicken for dinner and a lot of other stuff.  Picked up a burritos for me for lunch.
I love experiences like this.  It gives me a glimpse of what it is like to be a stay at home mom.   I really had fun.  The kids had fun.  They were so well-behaved, with the exception of the bite incident.   But I was ready to give them to daycare.   I was ready to head home and get some work done.   So I know that I do want to continue to work, but I guess just a bit more time with my kids is all I need to feel more balanced, more happy.
Highlights of my Working Day:
  • I essentially sat on my couch with my feet up and worked on the go-to-market materials for the start-up initiative; we need those materials complete for a progress call next week AND for a client meeting next week.
  • I threw in a load of laundry.  I ran the dishwasher.
  • I booked a flight for a client presentation for next week – we were asked to go and present our findings and recommendations to a much larger audience… essentially all the people who were involved in the internal interview process and they are the ones whose jobs will be impacted as a result of the work.   This meeting by far will be the most stressful of any we’ve had to-date.   I will need to refresh the presentation deck to make sure the tone is proper so as not to offend anyone in the room on that day.
  • I threw the chicken in the oven at 4 PM.   I started to cook some beets.     I set the table.  I got the pajamas ready for the kids.   I confirmed that our Mother’s Helper was planning to show up tonight.   YEAH (there’s a whole pile of clothes to do, and a whole sink of hand-washables for her to attack).
Dinner and Bedtime:
  • I was on my own tonight since Hubby was at a baseball game.    This was fine since dinner was done and I was ready for them.
  • All ate well.   Twins liked the beets.   Big Bro and Red at least tried them.   The chicken was a hit.
  • Afterwards Big Bro and Red watched a movie and ate popcorn (we like to do this on Friday nights).  Twin Husky was having fun rocking back and forth and talking on our rocker.   Twin Crazy had a great time on the slide structure.
  • Pajamas were fun; the Twins were ready.   I got them milk and they took the milk and their blankets over to the stairs.  They were so ready.  Up they went – books, sing a song, kisses, and in their cribs — butts in the air, blankets in hand, thumbs in mouth.   Out.
  • Red and Big Bro were fine with teeth brushing, etc.   They both sat in my lap for two books.  Big Bro looked exhausted and was out within 5 min of getting into bed.
  • Red came out saying that her finger hurt – so I looked at it, found nothing, but offered her a band-aid.  She proceeded to put it on the wrong finger (wrong hand even) and I caught her in the act and mentioned it to her.   She looked at me, put her chin down and eyes up, and tried to hold back a smile.   She knew I was onto her.
I had a great day, but for some reason I was still extremely depressed in the afternoon and even now.   Spending too much time in an empty, soul-less house is really disturbing for me.   We are renting our place and it was meant to be a temporary spot for us (for a year or so) until we figured out where we REALLY want to settle.   But Kindergarten is getting underway soon, our place is so empty (no pictures up, bookshelves empty) and it feels like my life is in a holding pattern with no time horizon for any decision to be made.  It is so disturbing to me.   I find it so hard to believe that despite my working from home and having time with my kids (and kind of feeling like a stay at home mom today), I am still so unhappy.   I feel so misplaced.   And I think my meeting my old high-school friend last night had a lot to do with it.   I miss my home.   I want a home for my children.  I want less stress and less pressure.   I want simplicity.    I want to enjoy my time and live my life with my family – and get on with establishing a home and rooting for the sake of them and myself.   I will need to write more on this at another time – but I’m just feeling so down right now.    So empty despite having so much.
I think I’ll call it a night, check in on my sleeping kids, take my meds and go to sleep –
Till next week –
– Mama K
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Recipe: Lemon IceBox Pie

August 4, 2011 by Leave a Comment

This dessert recipe sounds great and perfect for the summer – that is if you live in a part of the country where the summers are warm.  It was submitted by Mama M from San Francisco, CA who says it’s very fast but probably not that good for you.   That’s OK Mama S.   I think life is all about balance!!!   Thank you for the submission!
Lemon IceBox Pie
Ingredients:
1 can fat-free sweetened condensed milk
1/2 large can of frozen lemonade
1 tub of low-fat cool whip
I graham cracker crust
Preparation:
Mix first three ingredients in bowl, fold into pie crust
Put into freezer – take out of freezer 20 minutes before serving
Prep time: 10 min

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August 4: Old routine, old friend, and too many beers…

August 4, 2011 by Leave a Comment

Today is a bit unusual since Red woke up in the middle of the night and Hubby went downstairs to sleep. So, I woke up early and handled most of the morning routine with the kids – like I used to do before I “hit the wall”:

Highlights of the Morning and Commute:

  • I woke up first and ran to the shower; I got showered and dressed within 10 min
  • Ran downstairs and then did the following while all kids were still upstairs sleeping / in their beds:  packed Big Bro’s lunch, got breakfast ready for Twins (blueberries, cherries, pears, raisins), got Big Bro’s bagel ready in the toaster, got Red’s oatmeal ready in the bowl, gathered everyone’s’ jackets and shoes in the daycare bag and put everything by the garage door.   All of this time I was running, running, running through the kitchen… best to get everything set up before ANY of the kids come down, otherwise you have to stop in your tracks for any little distraction
  • put a cup of water in the microwave so I could make instant coffee, I am feeling very slow from Glam night – drank too much; I drink water, take Advil and hope the coffee kicks in soon.
  • went up stairs and got both twins up. Decided to diaper them in their room since it is easier and faster with a captive audience. They did great. Laying down on different blankets each having their own turn
  • Gathered clothes for Big Bro and Red and then we all came downstairs
  • everyone ate well, with few issues/fights.   Note; there were lots of leftover pears that were not a huge hit a “glam night” – so this AM everyone went nuts over the leftover pear slices
  • there was a small fight with Red and Big Bro over seats, but that quickly got solved when I brought out vitamins for later.
  • When I was gathering shoes, Twin Husky ran into the garage and then got extremely pissed when I tried to bring him back – I thick he was looking for the climbing structure. He threw himself down in a fit. “I know you want to go in the garage and play. I know, You want to go in the there NOW. But the slide is in here honey…. look… there’s the slide“. And then he ran off happily.
  • Gathered everyone in the car — no issues. We were running very late since we got a late start but all kids were cooperating which was a blessing for us this AM.
  • Drop off with Twins and Red went fine.
  • Big Bro drop off went fine. I asked him if it was OK for us to spend some time together tonight since I didn’t have a lot of time with him last night. He said Yes. I got a hug from him and then he decided to come back for another one. I love him so much it hurts.

It is gray, and cold. I am a bit slow today from Glam night. I met some great people and am glad that I went. I will need to get my ass in gear though for work today. Today I will need to:

  • work on proposal from yesterday
  • participate in client business Development call for a proposal that we will be writing soon
  • develop the go to market materials for the firm initiative; it has to be done TODAY or else I’m dropping the ball.

Highlights of my Working Day:

  • Had the business develop call with the potential client; the project is much bigger than I originally anticipated. We will start eth proposal next week
  • found out that the client for our last project that just ended is requesting me/partner to present the recommendations to a much larger audience – they are going to pay extra for this since they want us there in person. This was very flattering for me and I’m actually looking forward to the trip — will require a day trip via plane but that will work just fine.

I met a very close friend from High School after work and had an amazing time.  I literally have not seen this person in close to 20 years and it was great to see him again.  Reconnecting with people after so much time passes really blows my mind. It is like living a different life – but then going full circle and going back in time. He is the same – a bit older, but still the same smile, same gleam in his eye, and it was wonderful to get together with him.

I am definitely impaired while I write this (I’m on ferry to home now) and hope that Hubby takes the lead during the pick ups for the kids!!!! He brought me sunflowers tonight and I was so surprised.  So beautiful.  And so sweet of him.  I feel like a very lucky woman right now.

sunflowers

Dinner and Bedtime:

  • Pick ups were great
  • got home and hubby started to make pizza; I played with twins; they had fun on the slide
  • Big Bro and Red helped to make dinner — they rolled out dough and made their own little pizzas
  • dinner was fabulous. I was spinning – I drank too much at “happy hour”
  • Big Bro played Red Birds after dinner (looks like we didn’t do the puzzle)
  • I went to get mail with Red and Twins.    Twins made a break for it and ran down the sidewalk a few houses away.  They were both laughing their butts off while I was trying to be firm with them (but then smiling when they weren’t looking and laughing inside)
  • I tickled the Twins for a long time
  • then bedtime! Whew!!! I’m tired

BY THE WAY — NO MOTHER’S HELPER AGAIN TONIGHT. WE ARE DISGUSTED WITH THE HOUSE RIGHT NOW. AND TIRED. I hope she shows up tomorrow night or else we may have to go somewhere over the weekend to escape the crud. 🙂

Today was an excellent day. I’m going to drink some water now.

Until tomorrow –

– Mama K

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August 3: Glam night

August 3, 2011 by 2 Comments

We had a good night’s sleep, finally. Red did not wake up feverish, or scared, or at least if she did she did not interrupt us.

Highlights of the Morning and Commute:

  • I was running around gathering our things – shoes, extra clothes, my shoes, and was in the garage doing this. Twin Husky made a run for it and ran straight for our “toddler slide structure” — he loves that thing. It’s a bit big for them and they have room to climb/scramble up the slide, there’s room up top for a “landing” and a steering wheel, and then a small slide. He loves it. It was a hand-me-down from REd who was absolutely wild about slides when she was his age. He did NOT like the fact that I had to take him off the slide. So much so that he threw himself on the ground crying like he was in pain. “I know sweetie, you wanted to play on that slide. Now! You wanted to PLAY! You’re MAD because you wanted to PLAY on the SLIDE!! I know, I understand.” Then he got up and hugged me and then started playing with my earrings. He moves on quickly.
  • Big Bro got some extra chocolate today. I couldn’t believe it. It was not announced to the rest of the group, but Hubby put chocolate on a plate and had Big Bro eat it along with some banana. He kept it REAL quiet.
  • Twin Husky was self feeding applesauce and had it everywhere. I asked him to show me how it works…. how does the spoon work, where does it go…. “In your EAR? No….. Up your nose??? NO……. In your Mouth?” Then he put the spoon in his mouth and was so cute. Smiling up at me all coy and feeling proud of himself.
  • Red was a bit cranky. She ate well but only got 1/2 changed. I packed the rest in the bag for daycare.
  • Drop of with Red and Twins was slow. Red did not want to go. I feel bad for her. She was crying when we left which broke my heart.
  • Drop off with Big Bro was great. He is happy there. We can’t wait to get Red there too, although it will be twice as much money for her to go there. We think at this point it is worth it so she can be in more of a learning environment.

The sky is gray. People in the ferry are quieter than normal. Today at work I will need to:

  • follow-up with our client on the white paper and see her reaction to the work
  • develop go to market materials for firm initiative
  • begin to write a proposal for the opporunity fielded last week

Tonight I’ve been invited to a “glam” party with some moms in the area. I only know one of them. So today at work I’m wearing a dress and sparkly necklace and silver shoes. I’m feeling good about myself. I think dressing up gives me extra confidence and a prowess boost of energy.

Highlights of my Working Day:

  • I ate an enormous breakfast — quesadilla with egg, potato, cheese, and ham.
  • I started to write the proposal for a potential client based upon the phone conversation yesterday
  • I coordinated a business development meeting with a client for a proposal we will likely write next week
  • I arranged team meetings for a firm initiative
  • I reached out to an industry leader for some questions related to a project underway
  • I prepared an invoice for a project that recently concluded
  •  We received word today that the client project we recently completed will not proceed to Phase 2 — not because of the work (they were very complimentary) but because they needed to save cost and jumped right to Phase 3 (which we were never meant to deliver). 😦
  • I ate some fig newtons for lunch. Pathetic.
  • I am still procrastinating on the go-to-market materials that I promised to deliver. I absolutely NEED to get that COMPLETE tomorrow otherwise I am dropping the ball.

The sun is out but it is very, very cold. I have tentative plans to meet some women in the neighborhood for “glam night” — I only know one person there. I dressed “glam like” for work today…silver shoes and sparkly necklace and earrings… about as glam as I could possibly go for the office. I am not terribly excited about going but suppose I need to push myself out there to meet new people. I’ve felt very isolated and down lately and I’m not sure if this will help or hurt (e.g., if they are all stay at home moms). Hmmmmmm. What to do?

Dinner and Bedtime:

  • Pick up for big bro went without a problem.   However pick up with other kids had some issues.   Red was extremely upset over something, and I still don’t know exactly why.   I think she was upset over a 2 day old bagel that she put in the back of the mini-van, but am not sure.
  • I brought in the slide play structure and all kids were having a good time with it…. until Twin Crazy and Twin Husky started fighting over standing space on the top of the structure, until Big Bro started sitting with an attitude at the bottom of the slide preventing the other kids from going down, and until Twin Husky grabbed Red with both hands around her pudgy waist to pull her out-of-the-way.   So essentially all kids wound up in foul moods because of the slide structure.
  • Hubby handled dinner while I played / controlled kids
  • Hubby handled bed time with the kids while I went out to “glam night”.   I met a bunch of great ladies.  I’m definitely glad that I went!!!   I actually met another mom with four kids (whew – makes me feel a bit normal) and lots of women that actually made me laugh.   I met a lot of stay-at-home moms and really connected with them – and some women who stay at home as entrepreneurs.   I wish I had their drive/sense of security…. I just feel like I don’t have an option or if I do have an option just walking away from the stable source of money/income REALLY frightens me….   this is my own issue that I really need to sort out….hopefully I come to some REAL decisions before the year is out.   I also drank a lot of wine wish was a nice way to spend a Wednesday night.
Anyway, this was a great day; I hope Red stays asleep tonight because I am already a bit tipsy and know I need the sleep.  Tomorrow will be a slow day regardless….
Till tomorrow,
– Mama K
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August 2: Chocolate mustaches

August 2, 2011 by Leave a Comment

OK so I think I had my first technical glitch with my iPad.   I lost my entry from this morning.   So I’m typing this now from memory….

We had a terrible night last night.    Red kept waking up.   I slept through the first one – she was scared about something.   The second one was at 4 AM — she was in the hallway with the lights on, just sitting there upset.   She had a fever.   After some medicine I scooped her up in our bed (I know I shouldn’t, but I couldn’t help it).   So we woke up very groggy and were running late from the start.

Highlights of the Morning and Commute:

  • Twin Husky and Twin Crazy were going bonkers with yogurt.   It was in their hair, up their noses, all over the place.
Twin Crazy is crazy over yogurt

Twin Crazy is crazy over yogurt

  • Big Bro and Red ate quickly because of Chocolate Tuesday.   We give them Nutella spread on bread/bagel on one day of the week and they picked Tuesday.   Their faces are covered in chocolate and I want to kiss it all off.   Red looks like she has a handlebar mustache of chocolate and she looks very happy.
The mustaches of "Chocolate Tuesday"

The mustaches of "Chocolate Tuesday"

  • Twin Husky is really talking now, clearly.  “Down”.   Uhhhhhhh  ohhhhhhhhhhwwwww”   How cute.   I love this stage.
  • Red does not want to get changed so I pack up her clothes in the daycare bag, along with Twins’ shoes, jackets.
  • We are running extremely late so we whisk everyone off.
  • I at least had time for some coffee but will need to deal with breakfast later.

They sky is looking ok but I’m trying to get energized for the day.    I think I’m in a better state of mind to be more productive today.   Today I will need to:

  • discuss sales status of big meeting in October
  • Review and complete our whitepaper deliverable for our client
  • finally get to the go-to-market materials for our other firm initiative
  • have a business development call with a potential client to qualify the opportunity and also get a sense of his budget.
Highlights of My Working Day:
Things moved a bit better today. I got ready for the day with a positive attitude. Today I:
  • Reviewed the white paper draft in the early AM, and then reviewed again in late afternoon and provided my last feedback. The analyst will send the paper to the client directly tonight. I think it turned out well and hope that we have established a good working relationship with the client. I hope we over-delivered so that we position ourselves for more work.
  • Accompanied two Directors to look at office space. We will likely be moving locations and this was our 5th space to view. I liked the space and think it will work for our team. Plus, it will be much cheaper. Our group needs a change and I think this will be a better site and give us an infusion of energy. I love new beginnings.
  • Discussed sales efforts of business development initiative for October meeting. We’re making great progress.
  • Had a conference call with a potential client (that I fielded on Friday). We qualified his need and I will begin the proposal tomorrow.

Some things I planned to do I never got to – but will carve out time for those things tomorrow. I love the flexibility that this job offers when it works in my favor!

The sky is light. The weather looks nice. I am on my own tonight with kids. Red is sick; I just received a phone call from daycare. 103 degree fever. She will give her Tylenol but I will be dealing with a clingy child tonight, on my own. Hopefully this illness will not spread to the rest…..

Dinner and Bedtime:

  • Picked everyone up and received stacked hugs from the kids.   It was like dominos.  So cute.
  • Got everyone inside and jumped on dinner.   Thin cut pork chops with peas and leftover pasta.   Big Bro helped me cook.  He seasoned the pork, poured frozen peas into a bowl, added butter when they were done, and also added butter to the pasta.   I think because of these efforts he wound up eating like a champ.   I couldn’t believe it.   He was so well-behaved and easy to deal with.  Very pleasant with me and all the kids.    I’m going to think of more ways he can help in the kitchen and see if this could be a driver of better behavior…
  • Elena served herself peas with a big tablespoon.   I couldn’t believe it.   She then proceeded to drop the spoon on Red’s head so then I had two girls screaming and crying at the same time.
  • I take Twin Crazy, Twin Husky, and Big Bro to get the mail with me.   Twin Husky makes a run for it and hides behind the neighbor’s bushes.   We all said “bye bye” to him but he still wouldn’t budge.   I came out 30 seconds later to see where he was, and he was still standing there, but this time LAUGHING.   Man that completely backfired on me.
  • I think an entire package of Costco grapes were consumed tonight by all kids after dinner.   I don’t want to be the one changing the diapers tomorrow AM.
  • There was lots of playing, kissing, wrestling, flipping the kids around tonight.   All were very fun – Red was subdued so that was sad.
  • Bedtime routine with Twins went great.   I just tell them it’s time to go up and they both run for the stairs.  They enjoy book time, singing, and kissing each other good-night.
  • Bedtime with the older kids went good too.  We’re getter faster at this.
Today was a pretty good day.   Work was not that crazed, and I feel like I had plenty of quality time with the kids.  The only downfall is the iPad glitch so I need to get on that so I don’t lose my work consistently.
Till tomorrow –
– Mama K


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Staying Sane: A Mother’s Helper is worth his/her weight in gold

August 1, 2011 by 1 Comment

It wasn’t until AFTER I ran myself ragged and became utterly exhausted (seriously… both mentally and physically) that I demanded more help.   Our family has always been big proponents for daycare but honestly after working all day and doing multiple drop-offs, cooking dinner, cleaning up, doing dishes, doing bedtime routine, doing laundry, and dealing with crying kids, I was PRAYING for a solution such as nanny to make things easier on our lives.   However, the nanny option is not for everyone and they are also quite expensive where we live.   It is also great to have help from family, but our families do not live that close and sometimes their “help” often came with opinions — or, we just didn’t feel comfortable asking them for the real help we needed.  We came to a conclusion that the busiest time of day was after work up until bedtime.  So we arranged for “help” during those hours only – and this was in the form of hired help — a Mother’s Helper.

What does this “help” entail?   Essentially everything that you don’t want to do so that you can relax and spend more quality time with your children.   Let me emphasize this further…. EVERYTHING that you DON’T want to do so that you can RELAX and spend more QUALITY time with your children.

For our family, duties have included:

  • assisting with dinner prep; table set up
  • dinner cleanup
  • primary responsibility for all laundry (gathering, sorting, washing, drying, folding, and putting away) – kids and adults!!!
  • taking out trash, taking out compost daily
  • help with bed-time routine (diaper changes, getting in PJs, reading books, etc.)
  • help entertaining/trouble shooting with any of our children
  • other projects, as needed (vacuum, sweeping, cleaning out refrigerator, going through old/small clothes, etc.)
  • playing with kids, helping kids pick up their toys

We advertised on Craig’s List and received 10 – 15 responses to our ad.  We did NOT need an experienced person as a nanny.   All we needed was someone who was conscientious, could follow directions, and use common sense with our kids.    We also wanted someone who is punctual, dependable, eager, energetic, and generally enjoys children.  We also wanted someone who lived close by and had their own form of transportation.

Our Mother’s Helper comes from 6:30 – 8:30 PM.   We start dinner and eat dinner as a family while the Mother’s Helper is at work.  After dinner, we play with our kids and engage with them.   We talk to them.  We play with them.  They climb on us.  We tickle them.    We get them ready for bed and read to them.   We sing and hug them once more and say goodnight.   When we come down from tucking our kids in, the kitchen is spotless, the house is tidied up/organized, the dryer is going, the dishwasher is going, and me and Hubby can sit down and RELAX.

With our last Mother’s Helper (and we intend to start this soon with our new person once she is ready), we had her stay later one night a week and Hubby and I did “date night” — essentially we put the kids down for bed and the Mother’s Helper is there for them while we are out — so really no need to put extra responsibility on her.   She is there if there is a cry in the night or a plea for water.    And Hubby and I get a date night at a reduced babysitter rate.

This works wonderfully for our family and the change in stress level was IMMEDIATELY noticed as soon as we hired someone to help us.    I highly recommend this strategy — you ask, they do.   And your kids get more of you.   It’s a win, win, win scenario and I can’t believe we didn’t do this sooner.

Looking forward to feedback, comments, or other suggestions from folks –

– Mama K

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July 29: Sleepless nights

July 29, 2011 by Leave a Comment

Before I write about the morning, I need to recap from the evening last night. Twin Crazy began screaming at around 11:30 Pm. This is very unusual – it had to be something wrong for either Twin to wake up in the middle of the night. This was because she had PUKED…. probably due to the tube of toothpaste she ate earlier in the evening.

Then apparently at 3 am-ish, Red peed her bed. We’ve been testing the nights without pull-ups (these were never needed with Big Bro) – she makes most nights OK, but when there is an accident it sets her back a bit with her confidence. So I think going forward we’re going to do pull-ups for the next several months and try again later.

Highlights of the Morning and Commute:

  • Twin Husky and Red played in our room until I got ready. Big Bro got up and then went back to bed (he’s just like me….)
  • Twin Husky got mad at me for taking away a pen. So much so, that he didn’t want to hold my hand going down the steps. He eventually made it downstairs for breakfast. When I later checked on him, his face was smothered in yogurt and eating strawberries and bananas. He was loving life again.
  • Twin Crazy seems OK despite her puke incident last night. She’s hungry and eating fine.
  • I was running late so did not have time to get Red changed. I threw her clothes in the bag and daycare will have to change her.
  • Drove a bit fast to both drop offs – all goodbyes were a bit rushed.
  • I barely made it to the ferry in time…

Today at work I will need to focus on three things:

  • business development efforts for big meeting/initiative in October
  • business development efforts as a result of our partnering meeting earlier this week
  • Whitepaper review before sending to client by end of day

The sky is grey, but the water is smooth. I feel a bit slow from the two glasses of wine the night before. Despite my sleeping pill, I STILL woke up in the middle of the night because of the red wine. These days I can only do white wine, or better yet BEER. I’m looking forward to some brews tonight.

Highlights of my Working Day:

  • I attempt my normal routine but then I was shocked to find out that I forgot my make-up bag at home. So, not only was I hungover and under slept, but I also looked like absolute shit. Good thing there weren’t that many people in the office.
  • Since there were few people, and since I had ranks at the moment, I decided it was going to be Pizza Day and asked our admin to order pizza lunch from an outrageous pizza place in town. I stopped for 15 minutes to scarf down some food.
  • A prospective client randomly called into the office so I got the call since no other manager or director was in the office. Yes!!! I organized some next steps to qualify the opportunity including a conference call, references, and potential face-to-face visit when he is coming to town in late August. The sales cycle for consulting projects is long, so this timing is all normal.
  • I worked on some business development follow-up for one of the Firm’s initiatives and meeting in Oct.
  • I then started on the follow-up items and business development plan for the other partnering initiative as a result of our meeting earlier this week.
  • I looked at the white paper and provided revisions for the analyst to incorporate before sending to our client.

I am still extremely tired, but on the ferry now on a Friday and the sun is shining. However I am sitting at a table typing with a bunch of fathers who are talking about the summer camps, tennis camps, and soccer camps they have their kids going too. OK. I don’t need to feel like a delinquent parent right now. I’m hungover OK guys? And NO, I am not sending my kids to any kind of camp because I don’t have any f*^%ing time to think about those sorts of things let alone drive them back and forth to them. Uggggh I’m getting greener in the face, I’m sure.

I’m looking forward to hugging my children and keeping the twins out of the toothpaste tonight.

Dinner and Bedtime:

  • Hubby was at home making homemade pizza (thanks to the pre-made dough from Trader Joe’s!). Big Bro pickup was uneventful. He’s excited to have pizza tonight. Pick up for the rest was great. The daycare provider makes sure to hold the Twin’s hands otherwise they come running right towards the van as I drive up. Twin Crazy was squealing and jumping and laughing during pickup. I love it.
  • Joan Jett “I Love Rock n Roll” comes on and of course I need to blast it and roll the windows down
  • Hubby gets Big Bro started on pizza making. Big Bro rolls out his own little pizza and his goes in first
  • Red is clingy so I’m holding her but then I accidentally step on one of the Twin’s “peg puzzle pieces” and then I drop Red. So then we were both on the floor yelling “Ouch” – her yelling is accompanied with tears. She clinged onto me the rest of the night (you would have thought she would have rejected me but it was just the opposite). I sat on a rocking chair with her and we both calmed down.
Clingy Red
  • Twins were outside investigating in the garden and Twin Crazy came inside with dirt all over the place, including her lips and face.
  • Dinner went just fine; I had a cold beer which was wonderful
  • Twins made their way upstairs. It was quiet. We were nervous about toothpaste. Then Twin Crazy gets herself stuck in one of the rooms and has to keep banging on the door for someone to let her out. Red came to her rescue.
  • Friday is movie night so Big Bro is watching Shrek
  • Hubby, Red, and Twins are out on a quick walk before bedtime.
  • Twins were cute at bedtime. Twin Crazy is still scared of the goldfish in the one book. They both like the singing. It is so cute when you see your kids kiss each other goodnight. They love that routine.
  • Big Bro and Red went down just fine too. Red didn’t have sheets on her bed but we had her mattress cover on. She protested about the blue pillow cover and then I said that it was that pillow or no pillow and took the pillow off. She quickly said in a shrilly, dramatic voice: “Yes, I want THAT pillow!!!!!!” with all smiles. She is so dramatic and so manipulative I could just squeeze her…. and I did just that.
OK I’m going to watch True Blood now with hubby –
Everyone enjoy their weekends! Till Monday,
– Mama K
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July 28: The whole gang visits pre-school and the frightening goldfish

July 28, 2011 by Leave a Comment

Daily Journal: July 28

It was great to see the kids this morning since I didn’t get much time with them last night. This morning was a bit out of the ordinary since I was working from home today – so it felt more relaxed and I had extra time with the kids.

Highlights of the Morning and Commute:

  • Red was busy this morning styling her hair with curly control spray. She can only manage one part of her head though, and refused to let me help her with the rest. So, one part of her head looked cute with ringlets and the other part (the majority) looked like Einstein hair.
  • Red was a bit cranky/needy today. She had various melt-downs over breakfast, a toy broom (I think one of her first fights with Twin Husky), getting changed, …… ….. ….. I felt like I was being patient with her but lost it when she started screaming about her jacket and how she DIDN’T WANT THAT ONE… and she DIDN’T WANT THOSE SHOES…. and then SHE wanted to zip the jacket. I honestly couldn’t help it at that point and raised my voice with her. “You need to snap out of it!”
  • Twin Crazy was busy picking up pieces of rug to give to me as trash. She was also busy taking out thermoses to help us pack lunch (we didn’t really need them though). “Thank you sweetie!”
  • Twin Husky was busy walking up and down the stairs. This became problematic though when he started to do this with the toy broom (refer to fight with Red, mentioned above)
  • Big Bro asked for another bagel for the ride to pre-school. [Note: I forgot it and found it in the microwave to defrost hours later]
  • Hubby let’s me know that he diapered both Twins upstairs since they followed him up there.
  • I took them off to daycare/pre-school since I was working from home today. On the way to daycare, Red asked if we could all drop Big Bro off first. It took me awhile to figure this out though. Her communication is still a bit difficult to understand. “Do I need to take the lions out of my ears?” I ask. “yes“. Then I pretend I’m pulling a lion out of my ear and roaring. She asks me to do it with the other ear. I do. She repeats what she is trying to say. I then understand. So we deviate from our normal routine and we all go to drop off Big Bro. The drop off for Big Bro with all the kids was AWESOME.
    • We were all together trampling around in the pre-school, and Red had a chance to look at the “classroom” where she may go in September. I really think it will be a better environment for her compared to where she is now [topic for another post I suppose].
    • We looked around at the room and it was so cute with the creative materials, planting projects, and a fish tank. We talked about the fish a lot to the Twins and I made the motions with my hand of a fish swimming like I do at book-time; Twin Husky LOVED the fish, Twin Crazy was scared shitless of the little fish.
    • I received A LOT of stares at the pre-school walking around with this group – Twins still in pajamas, Twin Husky with thumb in mouth…. not that many families in this city have so many kids so our family is a bit of sight.
    • We successfully dropped of Big Bro but then I had some problems getting the kids in the mini-van fast enough. Twin Husky made a run for it and ran into the middle of the parking lot but I was 1/2 a second behind him. Man he’s fast.

All four at pre-school

  • The drop off for Red, Twin Crazy, and Twin Husky went just fine. Twin Husky ran in there like he was on a mission. It smelled good in there and I was starved. How can I get this woman to feed me once in awhile?
I got back to the house and began to eat everyone’s leftover breakfast. Literally right off of the highchair trays and tables. Sliced peaches, yogurt, strawberries. I made a pot of coffee for the working day at home. Today I will focus on:
  • working with analyst on whitepaper; going to the client’s office to work with them on the draft
  • business development on two separate large-scale initiatives for our firm
Highlights of My Working Day:
  • I had my colleague meet me at my house so we could review / edit the draft deliverable for our client meeting later that AM.
  • We then had our client meeting face-to-face; there’s a bit of restructuring of the content but the major pieces are all there. We re-grouped afterwards and I think she is set to run with it
  • On the drive back to my house, I decide to stop at the food store to pick up stuff for dinner – a whole chicken, broccoli, baguette, and orzo. I also pick up some other stuff while I’m there. I get home and run the dishwasher since we have no utensils to eat the dinner I am planning.
  • Work on graphics for whitepaper, answer emails, set up business development discussion for a potential project we will be proposing on. Organized my day for tomorrow. I completely did not accomplish anything for the other initiatives, so I’ll just have to push that to tomorrow. I’ll likely go into the office tomorrow since my powercord for my new iPad is there and I’m expecting a package.
I’m here now with the smell of roasted chicken… you would think that I would be relaxed from this day, but I’m in fact a bit tense. I’m anxious about the deliverable and also the work that I didn’t get to today…. It’s so easy for me to get wound up over those things. That’s when I think I’m in the wrong profession since there is always pressure to be working/delivering on something. There really is no downtime.
I’m also hoping the new mother’s helper will show up tonight. There’s a load of wash in the washing machine that’s been there a few days and now it stinks. Maybe I’ll have a drink tonight with dinner. I think I need it.
Dinner and Bedtime:
  • Pick up Big Bro. The first thing he asks is “What’s for dinner?” I proudly reply “Chicken”. He immediately starts to whine and say how he doesn’t like chicken and how he wants pizza instead. F! He pretends to be mad at me so I slightly swerve the van back and forth to make him laugh. We keep doing this until we reach Red and the Twins.
  • Picking up Red and Twins is always awesome. They run to me laughing and squealing. I have three kids running to me and I love it.
  • On the ride home we blast disco – Twins have hair flowing in the air and the kids are all laughing at me dancing. “Good times… these are the good times….”
  • Now running around cutting broccoli and boiling water and rushing Red to the toilet.
  • Hubby and Red start a “cupcake” project with muffin mix from Trader Joe’s
  • Meanwhile, Twin Crazy and Twin Husky were upstairs, by themselves, quiet……. apparently they were emptying toothpaste tubes (and eating some), playing in the toilet, and rolling out toilet paper….. laughing the whole time.
  • Everyone ate like champs. Hubby and I drank red wine like champs. 🙂 Because of everyone’s food performance we all had muffins. We ate up the pan.
  • Big Bro and Red were great big siblings tonight — feeding the twins with muffins and taking care of them; helping them
  • We talked about the pre-school room for Red; and the goldfish that Twin Crazy was scared of. Twin Crazy then became extremely anxious and we pulled out the book with the goldfish in it; we talked about the goldfish and how it was OK to be scared.
  • Big Bro played on the computer and came upstairs when his game was done
  • Red put on pajamas all by herself. Big Bro and Red brushed teeth and got ready for bed all by themselves
  • Twin Crazy and Twin Husky enjoyed singing Twinkle Twinkle and Itsy Bitsy Spider — they are doing all the motions which is awesome
  • Bedtime with Big Bro and Red was spectacular; books were great; kids were great; no crying.
I am so unbelievably happy right now. Maybe I should drink red wine more often? I loved the fact that I had extra time with the kids and everything just seemed to flow; with the exception of one or two breakdowns – it all went well.
Hold on a minute… .Red is screaming now with an issue…. Gotta go!
Till tomorrow –
– Mama K
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July 26: On the road again…

July 26, 2011 by Leave a Comment

Today’s routine was a bit out of the ordinary since I had to drive to two different face-to-face meetings today for work. I had to leave the house by 7:45 AM and not only that, but I actually had to get myself ready and look presentable (e.g., hair and makeup). So, I literally had almost NO time with the kids –

Highlights of the Morning:

  • Red woke up in the middle of the night because she “lost” her two plastic measuring spoons in bed. Why do we let them bring toys into bed? Hmmm. Sounds like a topic I should poll our group on.
  • they ate well because of Chocolate Tuesday
  • Twin Husky wanted out of the high chair. He wants to move and explore in the AM
  • Twin Crazy was in her high chair, COVERED with blueberry yogurt (self-feeding). Literally all over her hands, face, YUCK but so cute. I think she realized that I was very hesitant to be too close to her and she was in a very anxious mood towards me the rest of the AM.

Twin Crazy goes crazy over blueberry yogurt

  • I was rushing – trying to help Hubby get things organized for his drop offs; I made a huge cup of coffee in the Tervis Tumbler
  • Said goodbye to everyone — they each came over for a hug and a kiss, even Big Bro (melted my heart…. he is still innocent and will go out of his way to get a hug from mommy). Twin Crazy was still very anxious. I feel like i did not hug her enough this AM so I’ll need to focus on that tonight.
  • I drove out to my meeting, got a big lost (thanks map quest) but realized it when I started driving by cows and the road dead-ended. I made the meeting in plenty of time.

Highlights of My Working Day:

  • Business development meeting went extremely well. We are partnering to potentially bring a product to market and we had a very productive meeting. I was an active participant and feel good about my contributions. The Head of Marketing there is a woman and through small talk I found out that she is also a mother of twins. Instant connection. YES\!! And then the pictures came out (which I had in my bag for a separate meeting with another mother of four). I honestly have no problem “pimping out” my kids for business development/sales/client relationship building. I’m always talking about stories and using my situation as an icebreaker when appropriate.
  • Grabbed lunch at In and Out Burger. Double cheeseburger, with fries, soda, AND a chocolate milkshake. It was outrageous.
  • Drove to city to pick up a co-worker; drove to a different sub-rub for a different business development meeting. The client is also a mother of four. Her kids are older than mine and are spread farther apart, but still I need to pick her brain on how she manages and will obviously share the group. We organized the project, set up a plan, deliverable and timeline. We’ll be meeting with her again on Thursday. I need to craft an email to her that specifies the budget we have to work with and the deliverable promised to her. The budget is tight, but there are other projects like this in the pipeline so we want to invest in this one and position ourselves well for follow on work with her.
  • After the meeting we drove back to my place. We quickly read through all materials and crafted the storyline for the white paper that we will be drafting. It feels like a good outline. The consultant will start fleshing out the content tomorrow for my review so we are prepared for Thursdays’s meeting. I used my new iPad to craft the outline and easily emailed it to both of our work emails. I sent out some emails confirming our work for the whitepaper and the fee.
  • Tomorrow will be a big day because of the Executive Presentation for my last project. I need to go through that tonight and in the AM so that I’m well prepared. I will be doing the majority of the presenting.

What to do for dinner? I’m sitting at home now so I should start to organize that. I’m thinking steak or pork. Let me check the freezer. I can’t wait to see my kids tonight. I owe them a lot of hugs and kisses.

Dinner and Bedtime:

  • I picked up Big Bro and then met Hubby at the ferry terminal. Big Bro decided to go with Hubby to house to start dinner. I went solo to pick up Red, Twin Crazy, and Twin Husky.
  • Kids run to me during pickup and I absolutely love it. “Mama mama mama mama”. And then they get side-tracked with a rock or leaf or something. How cute.
  • We played lots of tickling games tonight. Big Bro would sit on my ankles and tickle my feet. Same thing with Red.
  • All ate well
  • Twin Husky tumbled down four stairs — it was OK. He is pretty rough and the stairs have rugs. He was more scared than anything. He stopped crying after 20 sec.
  • Twin Husky and Twin Crazy started fighting over an indoor tricycle which caused a lot of problems tonight
  • Twin Husky was the first to start to meltdown so we started bedtime routine with the twins. Twin Crazy kept dumping her sippy cup milk on the rug — on purpose. She looked at me with an evil eye when I said “NO!!!! No milk for [Twin Crazy]!!!” She definitely got mad at me. She refused to listen to books and was stomping around. She has a temper.
  • Big Bro was giving us a hard time with going pee-pee. I didn’t feel like playing his games so I left him on the bathroom floor “to sleep”. Hopefully he is in his bed by now, AFTER going pee. Otherwise we will certainly be woken up in the middle of the night because of his accident.
I feel like today was a bit out of balance for me; but I still don’t feel like I got much work done. Too much driving everywhere. I’ve found that commuting really sucks out a good chunk of the day (which is why I like using that time now to write). I’m going to have to catch up on a lot of things in the office tomorrow, after our presentation.
I also feel like I didn’t get great quality time with my kids. They were either too cranky or I just didn’t have the time with them. I’ll hopefully get more hugs from them tomorrow.
Till tomorrow –
– Mama K
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July 22: Morning routine without Hubby – I lose one of the children

July 22, 2011 by Leave a Comment

The Morning and Commute:

OK so I’m on the ferry after a VERY hectic morning. Hubby had to leave very early for a business meeting so I was solo this AM with the kids. Some highlights:

  • Red had a pee-pee accident in the middle of the night. So I woke up with her in my bed this AM. “it’s OK sweetie…don’t worry about the sheets. You just worry about getting to the potty in time. The sheets are no big deal. We will clean them and then you will have fresh sheets again“
  • Ran to the Twins room and closed the door to confine them to their room for their diaper changes
  • The four of us head downstairs. I am holding twin husky’s hand while Red is holding Twin Crazy’s hand. Twin Crazy looks at me anxiously so I wind holding both the twins hands, along with Red holding to twin Crazy, the four of us clustered together walking slowly down the stairs
  • At breakfast both Twins were interested in self feeding themselves cereal with milk, after seeing Red doing it. They were pretty good for awhile, but then Twin Crazy wound up dumping out the bowl on the floor

Twins eat cereal after watching big sister Red

  • I had to make Big Bro’s lunch today since Hubby is not here. I heat up leftover pizza and corn on the cob and put them in 2 wide thermos containers. He also gets “refreshed” shredded carrots an d a cup of applesauce. He will probably reject half of the lunch
  • Big Bro finally comes downstairs fully dressed. I love when he does that. It makes him so much more cooperative since he is proud of his independence and it’s simply less that we have to do
  • I lost Twin Husky this morning. I hope it does not scar him for life. I went running into the garage for a special flavor of yogurt for Big Bro but I did not realize that Twin Husky followed me in (he is a stealth explorer). It wasn’t until much later that I realized he was missing. I ran all over the house and then FINALLY checked the garage. The poor guy was sitting by the door in the dark holding onto his spoon. He seemed a little shaken up but did not seem devastated. He quickly got up, happy to rescued or at least remembered while I continued to tell him that I was sorry and that it must have been scary for him
  • All morning I basically heard “Mommy….”. “Mama…” non stop. I needed to stop and take a deep breath a couple of times
  • Ran to laundry room to pull the stuff in the washer into the dryer. I miss my mother’s helper!!!!

Today at work I will need to read through some legal documents, think through our arguments, and do some research to substantiate and strengthen our arguments. I will likely focus on this for the majority of the day.

The ferry ride is coming to a close and I want to get into the office to learn more about an explosion that happened in Norway. The woman next to me has been talking to her daughter about it and has been on her cell phone sporadically to check on family and friends.

Highlights of my Working Day:

  • Still disturbed by explosion in Norway.
  • Spent time doing web research as well as “primary research” to learn deeper into the topic related to our litigation support case. This will be interesting. We have another meeting on Monday afternoon that we need to be prepared for
  • Heard some very embarrassing news at work. Yesterday I was wearing a short blue dress, feeling great and professional. We also had a visitor yesterday….my co-worker’s one year old son who is adorable and very engaging I of course love children and i was having a great time with him playing kissing games and peek a boo, etc. At one point i was on the ground chasing this kid around and tickling him on the floor What i did Not realize was that my ENTIRE ASS was hanging out, and the nanny who brought the child in did not speak english so she was strategically keeping my ASS from clear view of our remaining, male workers. Just great. Really.

Now I’m on the ferry – I’m taking an earlier one because I have kid duty on my own tonight AND I have to pack up and drive them to Sacramento this weekend. I’m looking forward to a baby shower and also relaxing in the HEAT

Closing:

I’ll likely not write about the upcoming evening since it is likely to be intense…..

So, HAVE A GREAT WEEKEND MAMAS!!!!!!!

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