Staying Sane: Reviving dead bananas

August 12, 2012 by Leave a Comment

Let me pass on a trick that has saved me on many a hot afternoon… on many an after-dinner meltdown… on many times when the kids are bored, hungry, or all of the above.

Frozen bananas.

If your house is like mine, you buy bananas with the intension of eating them before they turn into black, wilting, melting messes on the countertop.  But ultimately, at least one winds up that way.   Yes, you have probably heard of making banana bread, or muffins, or something of the sort.

I am not much of a baker.   And I sometimes do not have patience to deal with the rotten mess and turn it into a Martha Stewart recipe.   But, I do have time to chuck the damn things into the freezer for a later day.

And then… when the kids are hot… when they are cranky and need a snack… or when you are thinking of an after-dinner healthy treat…. TAKE OUT THOSE BANANAS and make a smoothie out of them, OJ (or water, or milk) and any other fruit you are thinking.  Sometimes I add ice.  Sometimes I add other frozen fruit.   Simply delicious.

The best way I think is to peel the bananas first and then just put them in a ziplock bag for your freezer.  I’ve tried freezing them with skins (too difficult to peel when they are frozen) and also cutting them up before putting them in the bag (winds up with a big mashable frozen mess).

This weekend we had two kinds of smoothies:

  • frozen banana, ice, fresh strawberries, some water
  • “banana ice cream”:   frozen bananas, milk, ice — make thick so it has the consistency of soft-serve

And let me tell you.  What a hit.   And it was quiet in my house for at least 10 minutes while the kids enjoyed their black, wilting, smashable bananas in disguise.

Have a great week everyone –

– Mama K

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Aug 9 and 10 recap: SAHM in the summer

August 11, 2012 by Leave a Comment

It has been a busy two days for me so I collapsed into bed each night without a post.  I had the kids and wanted to take advantage of the summer time with them before school starts.   The school year for us will involve many highway trips in early morning rush-hour traffic so I wanted to enjoy this time with them on my days off before the school year begins.

Thursday, August 9:

  • We woke up to chickens.
  • Chocolate Thursday at Mommy’s house!   Red teased a chicken with her chocolate tortilla roll-up

  • We hit the road to get Big Bro’s backpack which we forgot a daycare the day prior.   I took the opportunity for us to introduce Twin Crazy and Twin Husky to their new daycare room when the “school year” starts.   Red showed Twin Crazy the potty (very small!  Very cute!) and they used it.   Red helped her wash her hands and showed her where the soap was and the paper towels and trash can.   Big Bro showed Twin Husky the kitchen set (Twin Husky loves playing kitchen) and they all experimented with the couches and the books.   They were having a great time.  We showed them the cubbies for their “stuff” as well as the hooks for their jackets.  Both indicated that they would like to come here for the day and play and learn.

  • From here, I was spontaneous and decided to take them on a train ride.  We talk about the trains all the time when we are commuting on the highway.  I talk about how I take that train to work and how it goes into the city to my office.   They have been asking about going on a train ride and going to my new office.  Big Bro and Red did not have the opportunity to see my new office and they wanted to see it.  So I called in advance and then we headed over.  IT WAS SO MUCH FUN!!!  The kids were great.  We all stayed together.   We parked and remembered the number of the parking space. We paid for parking together and then we went through the turnstile and up the escalator to wait for the train.  On the train we stood up and looked outside and also had some time underground.  They were very brave.  And the older kids looked after the little kids.   I told them how many stops and when to get ready for the next stop.  THey were excellent and followed directions so well.

  • Along the street we had a long 5 blocks to walk, but again, we stuck together, held hands, went slowly.   It was lunchtime and there were lots of people walking about but all were generally good / patient with us.  I got a lot of comments.  I love going places with all of these kids.   I love being able to do things with them in tow.    Especially when they are so good and are able to take in so much.   We talked about the city, the big buildings, how people move fast, how we used to live here, the streets where I used to move the stroller with Big Bro and Red.

  • In the office we were surprised to learn that there was a birthday that day.  So they brought lunch in, and better yet, cupcakes.  That was a huge hit with the kids.   They were extremely talkative with my co-workers and very lively and funny.  Big Bro was showing off his Lego plane.  Twin Crazy and Twin Husky were busy playing/talking/fighting like twins.   Red was quiet, but cute – we talked about her “sibling haircut”.   Twin Husky asked my boss “do you have a penis?”.    He is on the boy/girl thing and yes, they talk about penis and vagina body parts all the time.  My boss (who is kidless and in his 60’s, about to retire), indicated “Yes, I do have a penis.”.  OMG.

  • The kids made it back AOK on the 5 block walk to the train station and on the ride back.

  • When we got home it was dress up time.  I tried to get the Twins down for a nap but it was impossible.

  • We headed next door to see the neighbors and the kittens.  They invited us over to the pool.  We gladly accepted.
  • At the pool the kids were having an amazing time.  My other neighbor showed up at the pool with beers and pizza so we made a night of it.  We met more friends of neighbors and more kids that are Big Bro’s age.  Nice kids.  They hit it off.  I love it here.  I gave big hugs to all when I left.  The folks were great going into the big pool with Big Bro and Red while I kept my eyes on Twin Crazy and Twin Husky.  Big Bro wants me to get the phone number for the new kid he met so he can continue to play with him.  He had a great time with him tonight.

  • We saw deer as the kids were getting ready for bed.  A mother and her baby.  The baby has gotten much bigger since we’ve seen it last.

  • The kids slept well.   (As did I).  It was a full day.

Friday, August 10:

  • We again woke up to chickens.
  • The kids did art activities while I straightened up the house a bit.   I started a lot of laundry.

  • After snack I took the kids to the playground.  A part of the playground where there is sand and a structure with a water pump and spouts and pipes.  The kids had a great time.  Big Bro was in his Batman costume.  Twin Husky was completely immersed in his building, pounding, scraping, water activity.   He was in his own world.  Twin Crazy had fun playing a little more conservatively than her brother.  But she loved the sand and the water.   Red was very apprehensive about the sand at first.  She didn’t like the feeling on her hands.  But once she got into it she loved it.  She was making me sand meatballs.

  • We headed home for lunch and naps.  Again, the Twins refused to nap.
  • We played outside in the blow up pool since it was so hot outside.   They were enjoying it but Big Bro was having a hard time.  He dumped the pool upside down.   I don’t know what his problem was but I sent him inside.  I set up the kids again, and then I went in to get Big Bro.  We sat on the rocking chair together, with him on my lap.  He was cranky at first but we had a conversation.   How I thought his behavior was not that friendly and if there was something wrong.   He wouldn’t answer.   We then just talked.   Talked about school, about how much fun that will be, about math, and science… and he told me he didn’t want to go to aftercare since you can’t bring your toys out.  So I told him that Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday there would be no aftercare.  I would pick him up from school and did he like that?   His face smiled.   And on Monday and Tuesday, we were going to see if he could go home with the Motley Crew (friends behind co-parent’s house).   He seemed much better then.  He was ready to play with his siblings again.

  • We played in the pool.   Red asked me to sit in the pool.   The kids were all pouring water on me and I was carrying on enjoying myself with them.  They were laughing.

  • I took the opportunity while Red’s hair was wet to actually try to cut it to even out the sibling haircut.   I think it looks OK.   She doesn’t seem to care.

Before you knew it, it was time to head to co-parent’s.   On the way, we drove by the parking lot where I park for my commute, and also the train station where I go on Mondays and Tuesdays.  The kids wanted to see that.

The kids were in good moods.  They had very active days and I had a lot of time to spend with them collectively and individually.

I went food shopping and bought gas and then headed home – doing these activities helps me to avoid the rush-hour commute traffic on the way back.   I was tired when I got back.  I played with Cocoa a bit.   Did some gardening/watering.   Did some work on my computer with photos.   Then called it a night.

I had an amazing two days with the kids.   I was able to get things done and also spend a lot of time with them.   They are feeling more and more comfortable here and I love it.

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July 8: Back in the saddle again

August 8, 2012 by Leave a Comment

I’m feeling much better today.  Thank you to those that reached out.   Today was a great day.   The kids are here and the crickets are chirping outside and I’m sitting in my home office with new desks and computer and I’m feeling at ease.

Highlights of the Morning:

  • I woke up early and got ready for my “work at home” day.  Showered, made coffee, grabbed a box of cereal, and booted up in the office.   Did you ever notice how Safeway brands call their products?   The Safeway line of cereal modeled after “Life” is called “Live it Up”.   Isn’t this hysterical?    I have to check out other products.   I’m buying very frugally these days, can’t you tell??!?!?
  • I got a lot of work done today.   Started organizing our focus-group for our meeting in September, sent out planning status to our membership, did some admin items like billing.
  • I would step outside in the sunshine and stretch for a break.  Water the garden.  Look at the bluebirds flying.
  • I started working on a sales document for another forum I am building.  We have lunch meetings next week that this needs to be ready for and I also have a list of REAL contacts at potential members so I need this to get that part started.

The Afternoon:

  • I grabbed Cocoa and headed to the van.   I stopped at the pet store and they did nothing for me.   The last guinea pig had ringworm, with the symptoms of a dry ear.   And they took the animal back and brought it to their vet.   Cocoa, 2nd guinea pig, has a dry ear.  One person told me to bring her in.  I did.  Then the manager said they wouldn’t do anything since it was past 15 days.  But it was past 15 days with Batman, the first guinea pig.  There was nothing they would do.   I absolutely detest big chain animal stores.   I am officially anti-PetCo.   From here on out.   I have a sweet guinea pig that may have ringworm suffering from an itchy ear.   Ugh.
  • I headed to a gyno appointment in the city, with Cocoa in tow.  She sat in a cool, indoor parking garage while I was violated upstairs at the gyno.   Note the plastic model vaginas on the windowsill.

  • We headed to get the kids!
  • I decided to bring Cocoa into the daycare.  Red was excited to see me with Cocoa.  Her friends were excited and so were her “teachers”.   It was so sweet to see Red so nurturing.   She is wonderful with that little piggy.
  • Big Bro was also excited to see Cocoa but he wanted to hold her and pay attention to her away from his friends.  He had no interest in showing the piggy to his friends.
  • We picked up Twin Crazy and Twin Husky; they were busy riding tricycles.
  • We headed home and hit some traffic along the way.  Big Bro fell asleep first.  And then Red.   Twin Crazy and Twin Husky were wide awake.  We were talking about the sunshine, flags, trains, counting, smelling their feet.  They were both very talkative.
  • When we got back the box with Cocoa fell off of Big Bro’s sleeping lap.   Cocoa tumbled out along with her food and hay everywhere.  She hid under his seat but he was able to pry her out.

 

The Rest of the Night:

  • Big Bro threw a fit that we forgot his backpack at daycare.   I think Cocoa threw our routine off.
  • The rest of us went outside to clean Cocoa’s cage.  Big Bro came out when I asked him if he wanted to use the hose to hose down the bottom of the cage.
  • I started cooking dinner.  I decided that pasta stars were in order since Big Bro was upset, and rightfully so.
  • The rest of the kids were outside looking at the chickens.
  • The doorbell rang and it was the grandchildren of our chicken/farmer neighbors.  They had a huge bowl of cherry tomatoes for us.  I was thrilled.  The kids were adorable.   I walked them back to the front of the house so they could walk along the street to their grandmother, my neighbor.  I love this place.  3/4 of the kids were loving the tomatoes.
  • I asked Big Bro if he wanted to go get the mail for me.   He’s such a big guy.  He went without hesitation.
  • All kids ate like champs.   I couldn’t believe it.  All food was finished.  Even vegetables and fish.
  • Dessert was cherries and mango smoothie.
  • Big Bro, Red, and Twin Husky knocked next door to see if the kids would come out.  They were getting ready for bed.
  • The kids did some manicures with each other while I was cleaning up.
  • Then it was PJ, teeth, and book-time.   I’m getting each kid to pick out a book and meet me in the living room and I read to them all of the books all at once.  The great thing is the kids are all fast at picking out their books since the first one back gets to sit on my lap and read with me first.
  • Bedtime was AOK.  Twin Crazy was scared again of the dark, the kitty-cats, the foxes, the doggies.   I reassured her that the house was safe and she was safe.  She walked with me as I locked the doors and put on the house alarm.  She fell asleep soon thereafter.

 

 

It feels good to have them back over again.  Tantrums, tears, and everything else in between.   They are teasing each other a lot more now, but they are also playing together so well.  They look out for each other so well.  And the older ones, for the most part, are really good role models for the younger ones.

I’m feeling like myself again.  Thank goodness.   I’m ready to hit the sack.

Til tomorrow –

– Mama K

 

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August 3: My summer day as a SAHM

August 3, 2012 by 2 Comments

Amazing day.   Amazing.  Filled with kids’ laughter, my chores, kid interaction, and yes some fighting and challenges along the way.

I actually had an outing in mind, but decided not to do that since I still did not get a proper answer from Big Bro about the haircut.   [Note:  I found hair pieces under his desk in his makeshift “trashcan” so it really is incredible.  Either he DID cut Red’s hair, or someone else did and he just threw the pieces away.   I don’t know what really happened.  Still.]

So I didn’t want to treat them to a “trip” that I had planned.  We stayed at home.   So what happened during the day?

  • Woke up to Red, Twin Crazy, Twin Husky in my room.   Twin Husky now visually can recognize the numbers and he said that it was time for me to get up since there was an “8”.  He was correct.  8:03.  Time for me to get up.
  • I made them a pancake breakfast
  • Afterwards kids had pillow play in the living room.   Kids covering bodies with pillows.  Hide and seek.  Playfulness.
  • We got dressed; I did manicures and cut nails on the front porch
  • I did TONS of laundry.   With sheets and blankets and such I think about 6 loads in total.  The kids, in turns, helped to either change loads or help sort.
  • Girls played Legos together
  • We all had office time together.  I did a bit of work, rearranging meetings and setting meetings up for next week.   Kids were drawing.  Red was practicing her letters.   I played “African Playground” kids music and started dancing.  Twin Crazy danced with me and cackled she was having so much fun.
  • Snacktime:  Yogurt bar.   I had 3 different kinds of yogurts for the kids to pick from.  I had 6 bananas at the beginning of the event and zero bananas at the end.  I CANNOT BELIEVE HOW MUCH THESE KIDS EAT
  • We did some gardening; Twin Husky helped me to water our fruit trees and plants
  • We spent time outside but I’m not sure doing what.  I think we picked weeds and fed the chickens several times
  • Lunch:  build-your-own burrito bar.   The kids ate well.  Twin Crazy ate I think an entire can of black beans by herself.   My stomach hurt just watching her go.
  • Twin naptime.  They actually had a great nap today.   A proper nap.  During their nap Red and Big Bro did an outdoor finger painting project.
  • I vacuumed the entire house, and the couch.  My days with this vacuum may be limited so I wanted to make good use of it.   All cobwebs are now gone.  The house just breathes better.  Or maybe its my imagination.
  • During the couch vacuum kids of course had more cushion/pillow play.
  • Snacktime:  smoothies.  We had frozen bananas, fresh strawberries, left over peach slices from yesterday, and a handful of leftover carrots from lunch.   They loved it.
  • Kids had outside playtime – sidewalk chalk and bubbles; while I did some weeding and also cleaning up twig and branch debris from the yard.    I filled up a garbage bin.  I then also started to dis-assemble the long box of blinds that has been blocking the kitchen floor for weeks.  I guess putting up the blinds is my next project for the weekend.   During outside play time Big Bro had some issues with siblings so he was banished to his room for quiet time.  I brought him his Star Wars book that he loves and also suggested that he play with Legos.  That’s when he dumped them on the floor.  I demanded that he pick them up before coming outside to join us.  He stayed back there for quite awhile but then finally cleaned up, I think when he heard the commotion going on in the living room that he wanted to take part of….
  • Kids jumped on bubble wrap from said packaging of blinds.
  • Then it was time to go.   I packed them up and all seemed quite happy.  There was no whining about the drive and I told everyone that I had such a good time with them today.
  • After I dropped them off I headed over to a neighbor’s house and picked up some things she left for me
  • Once at home, I sat on the couch with the directions for the blinds and totally fell asleep.
  • Now I’m here, wrapping up the day and getting ready for bed.

I loved today.  For so many reasons.   It was a carefree day with just me and the kids.  We sortof just carried the day away.  No real plans except for feedings and nap time.  But everything in-between was just unplanned.  And the kids were kind of doing their own thing while I was also doing my own thing but then our worlds would intertwine throughout the day.   It was a day where I heard a lot of laughter.  And at times I just stood there, listening, and laughing to myself.  The kids really enjoyed this time today with each other.  They were all playing with each other, and even Twin Husky was largely accepted in the day’s play.

I feel like I had really good one-on-one time with each child at some point during the day.   I was able to connect with each one separately – either dancing, or talking about my owie (I got a bad finger cut today), or talking about the mysterious haircut…. I gave lots of hugs and kisses and look in your eyes smiles today.

I didn’t have a care in the world.   I was feeling like a mom with my kids and we were enjoying a summer day without interruption.   The only thing missing I suppose was a home cooked dinner.   But I can’t complain about that.

I feel fortunate for having this day with them.   And feel really full inside.

Have a great weekend everybody!

– Mama K

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August 2: Haircuts and sibling solidarity

August 2, 2012 by 1 Comment

Today was a full, great day… we did A LOT and also had some mishaps along the way.   My daughter looks trendier than I (not really that hard to do) because of this awesome haircut that one of her siblings gave her… but she keeps changing her story to protect their identity.

Highlights of the Morning:

  • I woke up to Twin Crazy, and then Red, and then Twin Husky… he is so sweet.  He climbs in smiling and cuddling and quiet.
  • Red wanted to “do something with me”.  Your kidding me.  I haven’t even been out of bed and my bladder is ready to burst and my breath stinks.  Plus I’m half asleep.  I suggested drawing/coloring something together and that worked.  She wanted a princess, prince, and castle.   She helped me draw it and then colored some of it in.
  • The kids talked me into making Thursdays “chocolate day” at mommy’s house.   I suggested Sundays, but Big Bro was violently against that since he likes the pancake routine on Sundays.  I suggested Friday, and he said that movie night is Friday night and that Thursday has nothing special.  This little guy should be a lawyer when he grows up.  The art of negotiation.  He can argue anything with sound logic.  Very persuasive.  So I broke out the Nutella and the kids went nuts.
  • I was getting the kids ready and in between one of the children changes Twin Crazy decided to give herself a haircut.   No, this is NOT the haircut that I referred to in the title of this post… it was just a few strands but still.  I couldn’t believe it.  So I took the kid scissors out of the office since the little ones “do not know how to properly use them yet”
  • The ride to their daycare was fine.  We talked about some funny things but I can’t remember what.   We talked about a food shopping list, and also played a spelling game.
  • On the way in we drove by a field that used to have wild rabbits but now is infested with moles.  They are so cute (when they are not in YOUR yard).   We saw so many… standing up, running, scurrying, jumping into the ground.  I stopped for a bit, and also drove very slowly down the side street so we could look at them.
  • Big Bro did not want to be dropped off with the siblings around.  So I left them in the front office of the daycare center so Big Bro could have his privacy.
  • Red’s drop off was great.  She knew I was going to pick her up early and was all smiles.
  • Twin Crazy and Twin Husky drank some water and Twin Crazy went to the potty.  And then we hit the road for our errands.
  • I had a work conference call so got to a playground just in time for me to take that call.  The kids were great – playing on the play structure, little tiny merry-go-round, playing in the sand.  I had a great call.
  • Afterwards we went food shopping.  They were in a “car cart” and they had a blast.  We did our shopping quickly.
  • We picked up the older siblings, got gas, and then headed home.  I had another conference call while on the road – this was a big “sell” meeting for a new member to the “established” forum that I manage.  This was a BIG win for me.   It was awesome.  I felt great.    Here I have four kids in a car (the majority of them sleeping) and am able to also land a deal.   On my day off.   And headed home to play with the kids.   It was great.

 

 

The Rest of the Day:

  •  Big Bro, Red and I went “hunting” for several spiders in the house.  I have to remember to close the screen door and front door in this place.   We have lots of cobwebs in here and I’m not a fan of bugs in general.  The kids examined the spider in the “bug vacuum” which was cute.
  • It was hot outside.  WATER PLAY!
  • That is when I noticed that there was a lock of red hair floating in the pool.  And it had a curl in it.   So I asked about this hair.  And I looked at Red’s head.  And couldn’t believe what I saw.  The back of her head is cut really short, but the sides are long and curly.  It almost looks cute, like it’s supposed to be like that…. but still… how did it get this way????   She kept changing her story.  Big Bro…. Twin Crazy… .then everything always gets blamed on Twin Husky.   I have no idea what to believe but I do not believe her.  And she is protecting her sibling.  Most likely an OLDER sibling.   Most likely the sibling who could get to scissors on his own since everything was taken away earlier in the day.  I asked where the missing hair was.  She said in the backyard.  Yes, she was right.  Various locks of red curls.   In my dead grass.  I was pissed, to say the least.
  • This put a damper on my mood.   I kept the older kids inside and let the younger ones play outside.   The older kids said they wished they were at daddy’s.  I wished they were too at that very moment.
  • We ate an amazing dinner and they all ate like champs.   I love how they know to expect vegetables and tonight we had sweet potatoes, cucumbers, and fresh broccoli.  Along with chicken and rice.    Lots of fruit for dessert.  My belly is still full.
  • After dinner I boycotted Big Bro’s request for a movie.  We went outside, I picked some weeds while talking to my mom, there were several kid breakdowns over shoes.
  • Big Bro and Red broke out the sidewalk chalk and that gave them all something to do while I cleaned up from dinner and also swept the outside.   It felt sooooooooo good to be doing that.  Sweeping in the evening after dinner while the kids were right there with me playing on their own, together.   I loved it.   I fed my compost bin and commented on the chalk “dust” that they were busy making.
  • Bedtime was fine.
  • After the kids went to bed I had some more work to do, following up and sending information to the folks I had on the calls today.

My day was really busy and extremely diverse.   Hunting for moles and spiders — two different haircuts — playground — shopping — driving and working and making money for the company — being tricked by the kids and witnessing fierce protection between them — and enjoying a suburban summer evening with the kids and the crickets.

I’m feeling really good now.   I loved today.   And the crickets are singing loud right now and I feel so happy to hear their song.

Til tomorrow –

– Mama K

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July 26 and 27: Stabilizing

July 28, 2012 by Leave a Comment

This is going out totally late, but I’ve been SUPER busy the past few days but still wanted to share some highlights:

Thursday, July 26:

  • Woke up to the kids each pattering into my room one by one and landing in my bed.  I love this time with them in the AM.   We ate a great breakfast, played with the chicken (she gave Twin Husky a peck/kiss through the screen door), and Red taught me how to dim the lights.  I never knew the lights could do that here.  She figured it out and taught me how she did it.   We got dressed and out the door.
  • There was no traffic and we talked about food shopping for the day and what kind of food we needed from Trader Joe’s.  Drop off for Big Bro and Red was fine; all kids looked at art from their art show.  I told them I would pick them up super-early – after lunch, but before nap.
  • Twin Crazy and Twin Husky and I hit the town and ran some errands in my old neighborhood.  I bought gas, and then we headed to the Main Library, which was new to us.  I needed to work a bit so the kids “read” some books, played, colored… while I sent out numerous emails for work.   This trip was essentially a disaster.  I know we won’t be going back there again.  They were at first very well-behaved.  And then I’m not sure what happened.  Maybe the snack kicked in, but they were running, scrambling on the seats, and causing a huge scene because they were laughing so hard.  All of this happening of course while I was working.   We (me and Librarian) tried to divert their attention to coloring, which lasted for about 5 minutes, but then there were back on the scrambling seats again but this time with crayons in their hands, running around in circles and drawing on the seats.  I gave them a time-out while I frantically cleaned up the crayon from the cushions.   We then fled.
  • Afterwards, we went shopping at Trader Joe’s.   We talked about the list of what we needed.  I am amazed at the memory of these 2 1/2 year olds.  They recited the entire list and even reminded me of some things I missed!    I had fun shopping with them.
  • We then went to pick up Big Bro and Red.  We headed back in no traffic.
  • At home, me and Red did our fingernails.  All kids played with bubbles.   We then took a stroll around the corner from the house where there are wild blackberries; we picked a bunch but poor Twin Husky kept walking on top of the thorned vines and hurting himself.  After a lot of other complaints it was time to go home.
  • Dinner was uneventful – except that I’m getting the kids to load up on fruits and vegetables.   Do you know that you’re supposed to have that be like 50% of your daily intake of food??!??!!?
  • We experimented with the Twins with spitting out toothpaste.  They both know how to spit so we’re graduating to the flouride-kind used by Big Bro and Red.

Friday, July 27:

  • I had to wake up super-early.  I had a court date for child custody and child support.  Therefore, kids had to be up and ready too, and all of them were going to daycare.  The kids put up a fight at first, but after they got started they were actually in great moods when we got into the car.  The ride was not bad; early enough in the summertime so the traffic was manageable.  We talked about fog.
  • Drop offs were all fine.  I hugged the kids a bit harder that morning.
  • Went off to the courthouse and met up with my new lawyer.  This will be the day that I will see what she is made of.   She had great ideas to protect me in certain areas and we showed up very well prepared.  I presented co-parent with several options that would be acceptable for me for child support decisions.  So essentially it was left to him.  We struck an agreement that is reasonable and fair.   My lawyer is great.  I wish I found her sooner.  I burned up too much money with my old lawyer and all he wanted to do was go to court.  What a waste.
  • I picked up the kids immediately afterwards.  We headed back to my house even though I had to drop the kids off at co-parent’s later that night.  I wanted to be with them and relax at my home.
  • It was hot so we did water-play.  It was fun.  I loved it actually.   I honestly needed to sit back, relax, and feel the sun on my body.  I needed to lay down and hear the kids laugh and play.   I needed to sit and not think.   I felt so much better after just 10 minutes being outside in the warm air.
  • Big Bro was a bit of a “teaser” so I sent him inside.  I then noticed that the blankets were torn off of my bed and the girl’s bed and I talked to Big Bro about it.  He claimed it wasn’t him.  I didn’t believe him since the acts would have required muscle.   I left him alone to sulk inside and was hoping he would just tell me the truth that he was mad at me.  But he wouldn’t.  He kept his story straight the whole time.  So then I asked Twin Crazy and Twin Husky, and they admitted it.  They were a pair acting together and ripped the sheets off the bed.  I felt so bad.  I apologized to Big Bro.  I said that he must have felt so frustrated at me, when he was telling me the truth and I was not listening to him.  I felt so bad for the kid.  He did so good though, staying inside and not putting up a fight with me.  I was actually very proud of him.  He told me his side of the story, and then accepted my apology with grace.
  • The ride back was fine.   Friday’s are good since I know I’m going to see them on Saturday afternoon.

Afterwards, I drove back and went to the Apple store.  I bought a new computer.  I went home.  I proceeded to put together the IKEA desk furniture.  I drank one beer and ate 1/2 box of Life cereal.  I worked until midnight.  I fell into my bed, exhausted but strangely at peace.

There are now quite a bit of the divorce process behind us.   We’ve physically separated, the kids now have two homes, I bought a house and have managed to furnish it and put it together as best I can, we battled on child custody, mediated child custody, and had a child custody evaluation for the next school year.   We mediated child support and came to an agreement.  I had one lawyer, and then another (and am much happier now).   Although it would have been nice to have an extra stream of money over to me, I think the arrangement that we came up with is good.  The money is going to childcare.  And we’re now getting the best childcare for the kids.   And I still get to feel like I’m doing this on my own.  I am fiercely independent and the thought of child support paid over to me honestly felt funny.   I don’t think I like that arrangement.   With this, we each are invented to optimize what we can earn to do the best for the kids.   And I get my autonomy.   And independence.  And ability to work the way I need to, so I can be there for the kids and take care of myself in the process.

Have a great weekend everyone

– Mama K

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Gig Tips: Believe in Yourself

July 24, 2012 by Leave a Comment

I came across this article today and thought it great to share with us working mamas.  I know the feeling of having two left feet very well.  I know how it feels to seem inadequate in all that I do.  I know the feeling that I’m somehow dropping the ball on someone, something, somebody.   I know this.   I read this article and a lot triggered thoughts in me.  Although its focused on feeling confident for landing a job, I believe that we should all believe in these words in our day to day lives – at work AND at home with our children.  

I’ve inserted my comments where relevant.

picture credit: http://shalinijena.wordpress.com/2011/10/25/what-do-you-believe-in/

 

Let me know what you think.

 

article source:   Simply Hired,   5 Ways to Get Your Swagger On

July 19, 2012

5 Ways To Get Your Swagger On

By Robin Fisher Roffer

So many people I know who once had major success in high profile positions now feel like they can’t get even get a phone call returned. One former television executive just asked me, “Am I pathetic?”

When you question yourself in this way, you don’t show up, uncertainty does. You may think you’re fooling everyone with the right clothes and your game face, but your insecurity is all they see.

Today’s decision makers want to be reassured that they are making the right choice by hiring with you. There’s a lot of doubt in the business world and when you doubt yourself, you just add to it.

Here are five ways to step away from self-doubt and career uncertainty:

1. Connect With A Supportive Community.

Community creates contentment. That’s why it’s important not to isolate. When we separate ourselves from our feelings and from positive influences, we sabotage our happiness. To connect with your highest self, get into a group that meets regularly and say “goodbye” to people who don’t believe in you.

Mama K comment:  Look in your community for working mother groups.   Find colleagues who are working mothers and go out to lunch, coffee, etc.  Make time for each other.   Visit www.mamainmotion site frequently.  🙂

2. Move Like Jagger.

To instill confidence, you have to move in a way that tells people, “Pay attention to me. What I do and have to say matters.” Make a list of all of your accomplishments to remind yourself of how talented and valuable you really are and then read that list right before you make an important call or walk into a meeting.

Mama K comment: Look at what you have accomplished!   You have created another human being, or two, or three, or four….   You can get yourself dressed in the morning and the kiddos out the door…. you have a job and are earning money…. you are able to multi-task….   Think about the things that you offer your workplace that only you can do.   Think about how you have grown as a worker because of your experience having children (e.g., negotiating, listening, hearing, solving problems….).    BELIEVE IN YOURSELF and HOLD YOUR HEAD HIGH!!! 

3. Be Cooperative, Not Competitive.

Yes, you have to stand out from the pack to get a great job or make an awesome deal. Just don’t be ugly about it — when you throw dirt, you lose ground. You want to be seen as a relationship builder who works well with others and can motivate a team to excellence – someone who can collaborate and co-create with a lot of different personalities.

Mama K comment: We teach this to our children.  Treat those like you would want to be treated.  The best way to teach our children this is through example.  Be that role model that you want to be for your children.  Do it at home, and do it at work too.

4. Stop Asking Everyone What They Think.

Let’s face it, you’re not seeking advice, you’re seeking approval. And the more advice you get, the more confused you become. The answers are inside of you. Listen carefully to your gut and let it guide you to what you really want.

Mama K comment:  I love this one.  Aren’t we all like this when we start out?  We are so unsure of ourselves?  Remember the first hour, day, week, you held your first child?   Now look at you!   You are an expert!   Think of all the other things that you KNOW you can do BETTER than others.   Again, BELIEVE IN YOURSELF.   Listen to what your intuition tells you.  You’ve learned this at home with your babies.  With your children.  Somehow you just know fundamentally what they need.   Apply the same thinking to yourself.  Trust your intuition and instinct.  Be that expert at work!   You have the answer!   BE SELF CONFIDENT!   You are a superwoman!

5. Communicate With Yourself Authentically.

More than ever, people are in fear and they want to be around those with inner strength. Now is the time to know yourself, be sure of yourself and stop apologizing for who you are. If you can’t see past your failures, start being conscious in each moment so you can feel the goodness in you.

The purpose of all communication is about love, not judgments or manipulation. Check your motivations. If you’re coming from a place of desperation, scarcity or fear, stop right there and do something to take care of you. Go for a long walk, volunteer, have a good meal, get a massage or play with your children. You’ll find that through self-care your attitude will improve and the right opportunities will come knocking.

Mama K comment:   This one is deep.   Communication is so key.  But this is asking so much more.  It’s asking you to look deep within yourself and know who you are and what you want.  Be honest with yourself.  I think this is REALLY hard for working mothers to do… my thinking is that we spend so much time thinking about others that it is easy to push ourselves aside.   This is a reminder to bring you back.   And when you talk, when you have an opinion, and when you voice your opinion, TEST yourself.    Are you being true to yourself?  Are you being sincere?  Genuine?   If you catch yourself saying no, you need a “time out.”

 Thanks for listening –

– Mama K

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Random Thought: Biggest bargain office ever?

July 23, 2012 by 1 Comment

It’s a Monday. A day without the children. I usually would do daily journals capturing the transitions between being a mom and working, and then working and being a mom again. Since my separation/divorce, these daily journals just don’t make much sense anymore so I am changing up my normal routine.

Last night after I dropped the kids off, I decided to go shopping. I knew where I was going. IKEA.

Remember those days of dorm living? Remember those days after college when you got a place of your own? Remember the deals and steals at IKEA? The particle-board furniture that looked pretty damn good?

Well, I went to IKEA last night. And believe it or not, I bought an ENTIRE room of office furniture for me and the kids for get this…. $526 including sales tax. This included: one computer workstation, two sets of drawers, one double-desk, two single desks, and four little white stools for the little ones. So I get my office, plus the four kids get their OWN desks and chairs for homework (Big Bro) and “work” (aka creative arts) for the other ones! I’m so excited!!!! And hopefully it will look good/reasonable/passable…. oh I’ll just through some plants around and cute drapes and I’m sure it will be fine.

ENTIRE ROOM!!! $526 WITH TAX!!!!

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Now the hard part…. getting the OLD stuff out (conference room table that is HUGE and heavy, two filing cabinet drawers that are HUGE and heavy) and the new stuff built…. I just brought all the boxes from my car to the house and almost tore my voice-box out when one of the boxes slammed from my step into my throat. Now I sound like Demi Moore.

Wish me luck with the Swedish wrench tool.

Where are you finding unbelievable steals/deals to prepare for the next school year????

Til tomorrow –
– Mama K

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Staying Sane: Pamper yourself

July 22, 2012 by Leave a Comment

This post will be QUICK since its from my phone, it is very late, and I’m just exhausted from a crazy couple of weeks

Anyway, I always find that a good home-spa treatment is a great way to decompress and feel more like yourself. Think mud mask, lotions, painting nails. A good haircut also helps since we are on the topic of personal care.

And yes, my kids got manicures today and some mommy-haircuts. They will look fabulous tomorrow, even twin husky who wanted his nails “blue”, his favorite color.

Great week all –
– mama k

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July 18: Teeth

July 18, 2012 by Leave a Comment

Wednesday, working 1/2 day from home, then I get the kids.  We had a big day today.

Highlights of My Working Day:

  • I woke up super early.  Did some laundry.  Set up for work.  It was chilly so I put the fire on.   I love this house.
  • I was very productive today.  I arranged speakers for two forums and talked with an ex-colleague.   Sent out some emails regarding a media interview.  I may be interviewed on Monday; I’ll find out over the next day or two.
  • I wrapped up at 12:30 to get the kids.

Highlights of the Rest of the Day:

  • Picked up all kids; went to the Dentist!  All kids were great.  Red got x-rays.   Kids played before hand.  Big kids were amazingly still and calm during their checkup so Twin Crazy and Twin Husky were completely OK with their check up.  They all did great.  Big Bro picked mint toothpaste, Red picked Orange, Twin Husky picked Grape, and Twin Crazy picked Strawberry.
  • We went to Home Depot to return some dead plants and I picked up some others that will thrive around the house.  I pulled the divorced mom of four kids story and got 50% of my new plants, after returning the dead ones with tags still on them (but no receipt).   I was pumped.
  • Got back to the house and the Legos arrived from Amazon.  All kids were busy with their Legos.
  • We ate fast – Twin Husky cut up his hot dog.  
  • The grandkids next door (other next door – the house with the chickens) came over to play.  We played ball in the backyard.  So I had 7 kids on my hands.
  • I picked some weeds and fed the chickens.
  • Bedtime was rough.  The kids are taking a long time to get used to this transition at this house.  I talked with the girls for awhile.   Twin Crazy is a parrot to Red.  She repeats EVERYTHING.  Questions and all.   “Do foxes walk on two or four legs?  Do foxes eat chickens?  Do foxes eat guinnea pigs?  Do foxes eat fish?   What do dogs eat?  How do dogs eat?  I love the sound of crickets.   Is the guinnea pig safe because he’s in his cage?”
  • I told Twin Crazy that I loved her and kissed her forehead.  She said I love you right back.  I did the same for Red.  I told them that I’m so happy that they are here.

I had a great day.  I felt super-productive at work, and had a really long and diverse time with the kids.  Dentists, plant shopping, Legos, playing ball…. it was great.

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