parenting – Mama In Motion™

March 6: Cooking, cleaning, and clobbering

March 6, 2012 by Mama K Leave a Comment

It is a windy Chocolate Tuesday! It was a good morning – all kids were obviously excited about their Nutella chocolate breakfast. Twin Crazy first said that she wanted oatmeal and then changed her mind (rightfully so) when she learned from her older siblings that it was Tuesday.

Highlights of the Morning and Commute:

I checked work email first and responded to some messages related to some work I was doing on behalf of our Europe office. I also gave some feedback to client team members on some deliverables that I reviewed last night, that way they have this feedback first thing in the morning when they get to their desks.

We woke up to a cold house this morning – 64 degrees. The heat was not turned on last night.

Twin Crazy peed through her diaper so her bed was soaked. I have to buy night-time diapers for these two.

Big Bro was hiding under his covers. At first we didn’t think he was in his room, but he wasn’t in my room either. Where is Big Bro? I admit that I was a bit nervous. I changed Twin Husky quickly and went to his room and quickly felt ontop of the bundle of covers and hit a knee or leg or something. He’s here! Whew. He was laughing since he tricked us.

Big Bro asked to see a picture of a Batman lego so he could color in his batman picture. I googled it and found an image for him. He knows about how I can do this on my phone and makes these random requests to me all the time.

Downstairs Red said that she was going to eat 100 pieces of bread for chocolate tuesday. Big Bro said that that doesn’t make any sense. If she were to eat 100 pieces of bread her stomach would explode. I laughed and told him that I absolutely LOVE this stage that he is in. He reasons all of the time. He challenges you when things make sense or they do not. He comes up with alternatives. He negotiates. He manipulates. He is on his toes and it keeps me on mine.

Twin Husky was shoving his face into his cereal bowl to lick up the milk. Eventually he figured out how to lift the bowl to drink the milk. So cute. He was in a great mood this morning.

Vitamins! All kids went nuts. One of the brands offers “fish” and “star” shapes and Big Bro wanted a “star” so Twin Husky asked for a “star” too. Then they both started dancing around chanting “star! star! star! star!”. It was so cute. Brothers. Male-bonding. Over a star vitamin.

I put Vitamin E on Twin Crazy’s owie on her nose. It is a really bad scab now and I’m concerned that it is going to fall off too fast. It would be a shame to have a scar on that cute little face of hers. We talked about Big Bro’s scabbed knee and how nicely it healed. And Big Bro noticed it too and was going to say something about it… how his skin is clean and how you can’t see much of a scab anymore.

Red got changed without a problem. She has a new “system” for putting on her socks which she was explaining to me. I was only half listening.

Big Bro was ready to ride with the Motley Crew. He called for me and said goodbye and I called for him and told him I loved him and for him to have a great day. He was off.

Even though we were early, we divided up the drop offs. Red requested me since she did not have me yesterday. I said goodbye to the twins and told them to have fun today. Twin Crazy wanted me to sit in the front seat and drive. So sweet. So nice to feel needed. I told her I would pick her up after school.

Red looked so cute in the back seat of the car. She was sitting there with her baby doll all smiles. I love how she looks at me when we have this time together. I called her my little buddy. Drop off went very smoothly and it looked like she was excited to be with her friends.

On the way to the car I checked email and found out that I secured a very, very difficult organization who will participate as a speaker at one of the forums. YES!!!! I am psyched. Apparently our firm has tried in the past without much success but I was able to land it through LinkedIn of all sources! YES!!!

I will be very busy today. Back to back meetings with some breaks in between where I will need to get work done. It will be fast and furious today. I will need to get a good breakfast on the way to work.

I’m on the ferry now and feeling good. There was good separation between us this morning so I feel stress-free. I got a tremendous night’s sleep. My plans are coming together for my solo weekend. I’m am feeling good (as of now).

Highlights of My Working Day:
Another busy day….

The office move is still going well. I am “squatting” in someone’s office until my furniture arrives. No problem. I’m easy when it comes to stuff like that. I saw an equipment cart and thought it was great… it was for one of the contractors who are working on our space. The cart made me laugh which was a great way to start my working day.

I followed up with some emails regarding the forums we are having in April, in terms of guest attendance and also potential speakers.

I had a primary interview with the project team with one of our client colleagues. It was a good meeting.

I met with an ex-colleague who works at a company that we would like to invite as a guest for one of our meetings in April.

I met with the team in the AM to go over what we were going to review with the client during our status meeting in the afternoon. I added some content and made some suggestions — they handed it off to the client in time for their review.

We had our client review meeting and it went REALLY well. They appreciate the tangible work provided to them so far, and they understand the methodology of market sizing we are using. Our first “interim” project review will be next week and we will be so far along with the client – we can use the time together to go over scenarios and impact versus showing them analysis for the first time.

I requested my admin to schedule some meetings for planning purposes for the forums; speaker requests and content that the audience will want to have covered.

The ferry home was enjoyable. I feel good about the day and feel like I’m making progress on many fronts at work. I also feel good about the kids and am looking forward to what this year will bring, once we get passed the storm and once we know that the kids will adjust.

Dinner and Bedtime:

I picked up Red first. She was busy playing with a friend in the playground. Her smiling face is so sweet – she shows so much joy. She is so playful and free-spirited.

We picked up Twin Crazy and Twin Husky next. They were excited to show me the little cars they were playing with. I noticed that they always were right near each other… parked together either side by side or in a line together. I wonder if all kids in small daycares behave like this together or is it the fact they are twins? I can’t tell.

We picked up Big Bro and again he rode his bike home. I asked him earlier in the trip if he was OK and if it was OK for me to go ahead without him. He excitedly reported back “YES Mommy!!!”. I turned the hazards off and slowly accelerated, looking at him in my rear-view mirror.

As I pulled into the garage, Red stated that tonight is my night with Big Bro and Red for bedtime routine. I unpacked the kids and the stuff and waited for Big Bro’s return. He came back all smiles, gave me a fist-pump, and pushed the button to close the garage door.

Inside, I gave the kids a small gold-fish cracker snack. Then started dinner. I made chicken cutlets with homemade breadcrumbs. The kids helped me make the breadcrumbs and also made a mess on the floor which Big Bro vaccumed up. Big Bro also pounded the chicken. They set the table. They were amazingly cooperative. I think the snack helped, along with keeping them busy and keeping them feeling useful.

All ate well. Red was a scavenger and ate up everyone’s string-beans. Big Bro, despite helping to cook the chicken, rejected it completely.

Afterwards Big Bro and Twin Husky had an issue with a ball – Big Bro grabbed the ball away from Twin Husky and actually hit him on the head. I couldn’t believe it. I think it even surprised Big Bro. I sent him upstairs. He kept coming down. I threatened his bike ride for tomorrow. He came out again. I threatened his bike ride for Thursday. He finally stayed quiet and sulked with Legos. He wound up losing his two bike rides.

After cleaning up, I went upstairs because I wanted to read with Big Bro. I think he felt bad and needed some reinforcement. He was playing Legos so I let him be. I changed Twin Crazy into pajamas, put some Vitamin E on her scab-less face to hopefully avoid a scar, and then everyone wound up coming upstairs.

I had Big Bro and Red tonight. I read to them. They were great with their teeth. We did “magnets” (responsibility boards) and Big Bro insisted that he did not earn magnets for several of the items — even those that I would have given to him…. He felt guilty about hitting Twin Husky. We talked about it. He said he felt bad. I reassured him that even though his behavior was bad tonight that he is still loved. And Red even said that “You still love us even if we have bad behavior”. I also wanted to make sure that he FEELS loved. Its one thing to say it all the time but its another thing to really FEEL loved. And I asked him if he felt loved and he responded yes. So I think we ended on a good note despite the hitting and not listening episode. It really is a shame since he was SOOOOOOOOOOO cooperative after school. Riding his bike home, helping with dinner, cleaning up, setting the table. He was a dream tonight. I don’t know what went wrong.

I wound up holding their hands as they went to sleep. I’m downstairs now thinking about the day and feeling good. I’m thinking about the work I need to do tomorrow and feel like it will be a good day.

Til tomorrow –
– Mama K

Filed Under: Daily Journal Tagged With: bicycles, cooking, hitting, parenting, sibling rivalry, working mom, working mother

March 5: Balloons, boots, and bicycles

March 5, 2012 by Mama K 2 Comments

It’s a beautiful Monday morning and despite my post about being completely ready for this morning, we still had our issues… you never can really be completely prepared (as you know). Red woke up in the middle of the night last night so I’m dragging a bit.

Highlights of the Morning and Commute:

I woke up to a discussion through the “kid monitor” about Daddy night versus Mommy night (from Daddy) which really bothered me since we both agreed that the kids should not be put into the middle of such discussions.

I then walked out of my room to Twin Crazy crying since Red accidently hit her with a baby doll. Accidents happen. Daddy was consoling Twin Crazy and asked Red to apologize. Red did nothing and eventually Daddy just walked away. This “discipline” drives me crazy. I am very focused about the need to follow through with what I start since it teaches kids authority and to actually listen to what we say. So after greeting the kids for the morning, giving them kisses, I asked Red what happened and if she by accident hit Twin Crazy and made her hurt. I asked her to apologize to Twin Crazy as Daddy had asked. She sat there, motionless. I said she needs to apologize since she hurt Twin Crazy but didn’t mean it. Twin Crazy was on my lap at this point. So I suggested giving her a big hug as a way to apologize. This, she agreed with. So both girls were on my lap with Red hugging Twin Crazy and Twin Crazy’s tears a thing of the past.

Big Bro was having a problem upstairs. He lost his Star Wars “Storm Trooper” lego and was fighting coming downstairs because of this. He needs to get his own way and little things like this just throw him into a REALLY nasty mood. I tried to get him to come down and said he needed to get downstairs to eat his breakfast for energy so he could ride his bike. After several minutes, he was still not downstairs. We were running late at this point. I gave him until the count of 5 for him to come downstairs or else he was going to lose his bike privilege for the morning. He got up, was wailing, but made it downstairs by the count of 3.

Vitimans for the kids all around. Big Bro was getting happier.

Red got dressed without a problem. Big Bro was going slowly. Needing help (Mommy time). He didn’t like his jeans which threw him back several minutes. He was running late. The thought of missing the bike drove him past his issue with the jeans and I was feeding him toast and jelly as I was helping him with shoes and jacket and backpack and helmet. He finally made it out of the house to catch up with the Motley Crew.

Red wanted to ride with me to daycare. Daddy wanted to ride her in. She was hanging onto my sweater. Daddy had to pry her off. Daddy talked to her saying that he wanted to drive her in and that he wanted a turn to drive her in. She was still crying and throwing a fit and clinging on to my leg and my sweater. It turns my stomach to hear him beg for the children’s attention.

So that was my morning. I have 3 months left to stay in this house. This will be a hard 3 months. And it will get worse from here on out.

I think I’ll have a good day at work today. A colleague is returning from maternity leave so I will be able to get her up to speed with one of the forums we are working on together and will be able to delegate some of the survey work to her. She was involved with the previous work so it will be more efficient for her to take this piece on. I will continue to focus on securing speakers and also selling additional guests/ memberships. I’ll do some more outreach for the other forum as well. Finally, I need to connect with my team for the client project I am leading and I want to see their progress in applying the market sizing methodology to several segments as a test. I want to see if it is working, believeable, and defensible. I’m hoping they come to the meeting with me prepared, since we need to put this work in front of the client tomorrow. If the work is seriously flawed, this will throw a wrench into my working day and I will not be able to accomplish everything that I want to.

My goal over the next few months is to shelter the kids and be successful at work. I will need to go through the divorce process which will bring its ups and downs but I need to be resilient and strong. I can do this knowing that there will be better and brighter days awaiting me on the other side.

Highlights of My Working Day:
So busy!!!

I met with a colleague who is back from maternity leave and got her up to speed with a conference we are having in April. I delegated the survey work to her – it needs some focused attention up front so this is perfect for her to get involved with.

I continued with speaker outreach for the two conferences. I secured one speaker and need to set up details to confirm story and content to be discussed.

I arranged for a conversation with one of the speakers to set expectations on content.

I spent a good 2 hours on sales outreach for one of the forums, now that I have the topics/agenda almost settled. The best way to sell new membership is to invite the organizations as guests and then they (hopefully) convert to members.

I led a team connect over lunch and we talked about the office move and also staffing needs.

I met with my team on the client project to review and vet the methodology they came up with for market sizing. I think it’s good. It’s creative. I made some suggestions to make it better and it is headed in the right direction. We will be ready for our client call tomorrow – we need just two PowerPoint pages…. one page on methodology and another page on how we tested the methodology with real data and the results. I will review with the team tomorrow AM before sending off to the client.

I did some personal things…. setting up some activities for myself for the weekend since ex-Hubby is taking all the kids away to his folks’ house for the weekend. My plans are falling into place and I am looking forward to the weekend.

So now I’m on the ferry. The sun is out. I’m feeling good. I need to think about dinner. I’m thinking cheese quesadillas with a mixed combo of side dishes of shrimp, black beans, sliced cucumber, olives. And anything else that I have leftover in the refrigerator.

Dinner and Bedtime:

I picked up Red first, then Twin Husky and Twin Crazy. They were talking about how Twin Husky lost his helium balloon during the day. How it went up in the sky. And how he said “bye bye balloon”. The kid didn’t even cry. He just waved goodbye to his balloon.

We picked up Big Bro last. I did this on purpose. I knew he would want to ride his bike home. So we all waited for him to get his bike. While waiting, Twin Crazy was looking at her balloon and Twin Husky requested to wear his boots (instead of his sneakers). Big Bro arrived with his bike and we talked about the route home. So again we followed him in the van with hazards on, in our slow neighborhood streets. When we got to the last 5 minutes of the ride, Big Bro asked me to go ahead without him. He said he was OK. So I did. I turned the hazards off, pulled into the street, and drove away at a normal pace….. looking at him in my rear-view mirror until he was a speck. As I got the kids out of the van and gathered the bags, Big Bro came riding on into the garage, with a smile ear-to-ear. He was cooperative the rest of the night.

I got dinner ready. Warm tortillas, grated cheese, shrimp, black beans, olives, cucumbers. corn. It was a make your own quesadilla/burrito kind of night. Very easy. And the kids like the variety.

Afterwards the girls were loud and rambunctious. The boys were quiet. A balloon was floating. I changed the Twins and made them jump. Red put up some pictures in my clip-frame in my room. I love this thing… the kids pick what art/pictures they want to hang/clip and it goes on my wall on display.

I had the Twins for bedtime tonight. They went down easily. Big Bro cried “why do we have to take turns?” and then settled in to the routine with Daddy.

I’m in bed now decompressing from the day. I will have a very busy day tomorrow with back to back meetings and I’d like to also get some more work done in between those meetings…. I’ll need to get a good night’s sleep tonight. Hopefully the kids stay asleep. I also need to get some personal things done and meetings set. It seems like everything is happening all at once… everything hitting from now until end April… and in the meantime living in this house and trying to keep my distance.

Til tomorrow –
– Mama K

Filed Under: Daily Journal Tagged With: client project, conference planning, divorce, helium balloon, parenting, part-time, rainboots, Star Wars legos, working mom, working mother

Staying Sane: Start your morning the night before

March 4, 2012 by Mama K 5 Comments

This is something so obvious and already known to be true by all working mothers out there. So I really don’t know why I’m going to write about this. You already know it. But maybe it is a rule that is so important that it is I guess good to reinforce from time to time.

Getting out of the door is not easy with kids. Hell, it isn’t easy by yourself sometimes (e.g., where did I leave my keys? I don’t like this outfit… maybe this one…. I didn’t charge up my phone…. ugh). Add kids to the mix, and add a busy commute, multiple drop offs to daycare/school, some crankiness (from you and/or the kids), runny noses, temper tantrums, milk spilt on the floor, lunches, and kids hanging onto your legs… now THAT’s a recipe for disaster.

It is clear to every working mother that the most obvious thing to do when you are faced with situations that can so quickly go out of control, is control whatever you can in advance to hopefully streamline and make your life easier when you know you will need it.

In our house, the LAST ferry leaves at 8:30. There are THREE drop-offs for our FOUR children. Not fun. Plain and simple. Actually, it sucks. That’s all there is to it. But, I’ve managed to put some structure in place the night before to make things easier for us in the scramble of the morning… .if you’ve been reading the daily journal here, you already be familiar with much of the routine. The list below is a full list and I certainly do not follow everything at all times…. although I probably should.

Sunday nights involve packing the daycare bag for the week. All clothes and socks that Twin Husky and Twin Crazy will need for the week are in there. Diapers, wipes, you name it. The bag is packed and in the hallway waiting by the garage door.

Similarly, Red’s linen bag for daycare is also ready to go the night before. It sits right near the daycare bag.

Older kids clothes are picked out by them, and placed in piles on their floor so they can get
dressed themselves in the AM. When they were younger, just having the piles ready for us to change them were good enough.

When I was on lunch duty, I also started thinking about the lunch the night before; anything I could do in advance I did (e.g., juices in thermos cups).

All jackets and shoes are in their proper place. This has always been hard for us. No matter how hard I try to have the kids take off their shoes and keep them in one place, one child forgets and then the routine is hammered the next morning. This includes jackets. This has really caused beautifully smooth mornings unwind into stressful teary experiences for everyone involved…. all it takes is one damn lost shoe out of eight feet and your timing is totally messed up. So, all shoes and jackets need to be accounted for and immediately accessible. Our new, ingenious system was a suggestion from our child custody mediator. Put hooks up and bins and get the kids trained to use them. I went a step further and put pictures of them and also name tags in big letters. It is working great with Twin Crazy and Twin Husky. Twin Crazy really enjoys putting things away and comes back to be with a huge, proud look on her face when she succeeds. Red is accustomed to this at school, as is Big Bro. But he, as usual, is always the one to say “where is my jacket? Where are my shoes??” Uggh. I do believe that we will get there though, eventually.

I also make sure that my own bag is ready…. iPad, phone, wallet, and work computer if I brought it home. Keys are always in one place ready to go.

If I am having a big meeting the next day, I think through what I’m going to wear the night before. This is particularly important during PMS. This can REALLY throw you off.

I sometimes set the coffee machine on the night before on timer.

On good nights, I even think through the next day’s dinner and take out whatever I need from the freezer to defrost overnight.

All lunchbags, backpacks, etc. are in places that are easy to find (e.g., backpack by the back door near the garage).

When the Twins come downstairs, I make sure they also bring what they will need for daycare that day – Twin Crazy’s lovey blanket and Twin Husky’s “Tiger”. That way I know these items are somewhere on the first floor before we leave.

So, that is just a summary of the run-down that you may have read before in some form or another. This is the easiest rule as ANY parent knows when you are trying to leave the house with a child. Make sure that anything that can be organized and put together is done so the night before the morning rush with the child. You learn this very quickly. And I guess managing the diaper bag is the first part of training for any working parent.

As a working mother, what other things do you take care of the night before to make your commute easier??? Or to make your morning with your kids run smoother and less stressful???

Sorry for this cop-out of an entry. I know you did not learn anything new. This is Working Mother 101 here. But, maybe we can learn a few more tricks from other mamas out there….

Thanks for listening –
– Mama K

Filed Under: Staying Sane Tagged With: commute, kids, parenting, working mom, working mother

March 2: Pajamas and dresses

March 3, 2012 by Mama K Leave a Comment

Hi Mamas! Happy Friday – it was a good day for me – I feel like I got good time in with each of the kids which was good; more meetings relating to the divorce so I’m kind of wiped out – this will be brief –

Highlights of the Morning:

Big Bro had “pajama day” at school to celebrate Dr. Seuss; I think the kids had a great time – the Motley Crew was all in their PJs and looked so comfy. I think he had a great time today.

I normally have the Twins today but I had a meeting in the afternoon; so I set up daycare for them – however she had a doctor appt. in the AM so I dropped them off at 10 AM so we had some time to play! I decided to keep Red home too during that time. We cleaned up books, drew pictures, played with a lace-up toy set, did stacking puzzles, ate snacks, ran around the house, got tickled, and got dressed.

We had a visitor (our neighbor with four kids! Motley Crew) with a bag of clothes (thank you Christine!). It was funny how Twin Husky gravitated toward this purple frilly soft flowy dress. He wanted to wear it so I helped him put it on. It went great with his bug boots that he is now addicted to.

Twin Crazy was so cute with Red this morning. I made a big deal out of how they can both wear/share shirts now…. pants won’t work for both of them, but shirts will. So Twin Crazy agreed that she wanted to pick out her own clothes and Red wanted to help her. Red showed her the shirt drawer in her room and then helped Twin Crazy pick out pants in the other room – they even picked out socks together. Then Red proceeded to help Twin Crazy get dressed. It was so sweet. I couldn’t get enough of it – especially how Twin Crazy looked at Red and how Red kept saying “i will help you…”

The three of them had a tea party and then I got a call from daycare – I dropped them off, she had a laugh with Twin Husky’s dress, and then I dropped Red off (after fixing her worn down sneaker in the lobby).

Highlights of the Rest of the Day:

I had a meeting today that was very difficult — again I’m putting faith into the process but feel the need to come clean with what’s on my mind. Understanding one person is hard enough, let alone an entire family, let alone in only an office environment through discussion. I really feel like there needs to be more input into this recommendation and am offering more sources of information if desired. This is really, really difficult.

After the meeting I went to pick up Twin Crazy and Twin Husky. They were both showing me how they were jumping. Twin Husky still had on his boots and dress.

I picked up Big Bro next and we made a plan for him to ride from his elementary school over to Red’s daycare. I went over the route with him, and told him I would do the same as yesterday…. follow slowly behind him while he was on the sidewalk. Again our neighborhood is very, very quiet and we take mostly back roads that are not heavily driven. He did great and the look of independence on his face was priceless. The minivan from one of his friends drove by in the opposite direction and they totally saw him. We both commented that it was Ryan’s van and they were totally cheering him on! He loved it.

We got to Red’s daycare and were completely surprised with a bake “giveaway” from her class. I love this place! The kids were so cute handing out cupcakes and cookies. Our family kept them busy since we had five mouths and one of them just rode his bike so was hungry.

The ride back was nice; Big Bro did great on the bike. He experimented with a new way back home that was less windy.

I got laundry going and the kids were interested, as usual.

Pizza arrived and Big Bro and Red ate the most I’ve seen in a very long time.

Afterwards was movie night – Big Bro and Red sat on my lap in a rocking chair once I was able to actually sit down with everyone.

I had the Twins tonight for bedtime routine. Again Big Bro wanted to know why we were doing this. He says we don’t have to do this. I completely agree….

Twins went down without a hitch… PJs, teeth, books, song, kisses, night-night. “Sweet dreams. I…… love…… you.”

Big Bro and Red refused to stay in their room. Big Bro said he misses me since I didn’t spend bedtime with them tonight. They kept coming downstairs. Daddy left for a massage so I went upstairs with them to spend some time, hug them, and see them drift off to sleep.

I’m tired and thinking about tomorrow. I will have Twin Crazy and Twin Husky in the AM. I’d like to take them somewhere new and different.

Have a great weekend everyone –
– Mama K

Filed Under: Daily Journal Tagged With: bicycle, divorce, pajama day, parenting, part-time, working mom, working mother

March 1: Beginning to let go

March 2, 2012 by Mama K 4 Comments

It was a memorable day. It was a day of milestones. It’s a day like this when I’m glad I’m keeping this blog. A record of the children and who they are and how they’re changing and who they are becoming. I was home from work today. It’s 10:30 PM right now so this will be brief but heartfelt.

Highlights of the First Half of the Day:

The kids were playing with each other during breakfast. Big Bro and Twin Husky were playing ball.

Red and Twin Crazy decided to wear matching shirts. Red wore a pink bunny shirt, and Twin Crazy wore an identical shirt, but in gray. I was calling them “the twins”.

I dropped all kids off since it was my home day with them. My day to be a mom. It was raining so Big Bro rode with us in the van and did not go with the Motley Crew. I think he gets embarrassed of the entire clan of kids so for the VERY FIRST TIME EVER, I pulled into the circular driveway at school and DROPPED HIM OFF BY HIMSELF. Oh my goodness I asked him what he wanted to do and let him know that he had a choice. And he choose independence. He looked back a couple of times but I was so proud of him. And it hurt inside when I couldn’t see his blue fleece hood any longer when he turned a corner. I slowly drove away.

We dropped off Red next. I wanted to take a picture of the girls in their bunny shirts. They were so cute. Twin Husky was acting so silly and acting like a surfer for some reason. My laugh was bellowing through the school. In fact, some teachers came outside to see the commotion since I was laughing so loud. I love how his personality is busting through and how goofy he is becoming. He makes me smile so much.

Inside her classroom, Red gave Twin Husky and Twin Crazy hugs goodbye.

I decided to take Twin Crazy and Twin Husky out for breakfast for some bagels. They had fun looking out the window and squealing at dogs, and we talked about trucks and umbrellas and commented on other kids’ rainboots. Twin Husky was wearing a pair that were way too big for him but for some reason he loved them while also putting his hands in his pockets.

The day kindof went by…. Twin Husky was cleaning. They both got into Red’s kid nail polish. at 12:45 we picked up Big Bro and headed home for lunch and naps for the Twins. Me and Big Bro hung out and did nothing special or in particular.

Highlights of the Rest of the Day:

The biggest event was picking up Red after Twin Husky and Twin Crazy woke up from their nap. We quickly gave them a snack and then Big Bro put on his helmet and got on his bike. I drove along side of him, 3 mph, with my hazards on. Our neighborhood is VERY secluded so there was no real traffic, and he had a sidewalk almost the entire way there, but there was one part of the journey where we were separated by a field. He was so thrilled to be riding on his own with us trailing him. I saw the joy in his face. I could almost feel the excitement in his body. I could almost feel his hands gripping the handlebars. And feel the wind on his face. And feel the sense of independence but also of security when looking over to see us in the van along side of him. He did
great. We parked his bike and he did the same thing back at home. I said we should do this more often and I have a feeling we will. It was amazing. He is my boy.

Dinner was great; I had a steak going in the crockpot. The kids set the table by themselves. I heard them working together to get it done. They ate well. Big Bro ate like a champ. I taught them how it is good to eat meat after working your body and how the protein is good to help your sore muscles. So Big Bro ate a bit more.

We ended the night with chocolate milk.

It was my night with Big Bro and Red. Both are very clingy. Big Bro needed to sit in my lap. He was convinced that he did not have enough “Mommy time” today even though he had been
with me since 1 PM and much of that was alone. I feel so bad for these kids. They are suffering already. I sat with them – scratched his back – held her hand, until they were both breathing deeply and lost to sleep.

And now as I’m going through my pictures for this post, I see that Big Bro had my iPhone when I wasn’t looking and decided to be a photographer himself and capture pictures of his treasured toys. So cute.

I am tired; it is late. I don’t want these days to end. I don’t want it to get worse for them. There are so many glimpses of pure magic during the day with these kids. The boots. The smiles. The goofiness. The hugs. The wanting to help. The look of accomplishment. The drive to do things by themselves. I never want it to end.

Til tomorrow –
– Mama K

Filed Under: Daily Journal Tagged With: bicycle, divorce, growing up, hugs, parenting, part-time, siblings, working mom, working mother

Recipe: Chicken thighs with mushroom and wine sauce

March 1, 2012 by Mama K Leave a Comment

This recipe was submitted by fellow Mama Jeanette from Long Island, NY. Thank you Jeanette!!! I miss NYC!!!

Chicken thighs with mushroom and wine sauce

“I got this from the internet awhile ago and it is delicious! Easy too, not many ingredients and quick. Recipe says to serve with rice or potatoes. I usually use egg noodles. Recipe serves 4. Hope you like it!”

Ingredients:

1 1/2 pounds boneless,chicken thighs
salt and pepper
1 TBS. olive oil
2 TBS. butter
8 oz. sliced mushrooms
1 clove garlic, minced
3 tablespoons flour
1 cup chicken broth
1/3 cup dry white wine such as chardonay
1/2 cup of cream or half and half
1-2 TBS. chopped fresh parsley

Directions:

Wash chicken, pat dry and sprinkle with salt and pepper.
In a large skillet over medium heat, heat the oil and butter.
Add chicken and cook, turning until browned. Remove to plate and set aside.
Add mushrooms to the skillet and cook, stirring until mushrooms are tender and browned.
Add the garlic and cook for 1 minute longer.
Stir in flour until blended.
Stir in chicken broth and wine until blended.
Add chicken back to the skillet, cover, reduce heat to low and cook for 20-30 minutes, or until chicken is cooked through and tender.
Stir in the cream and parsley and heat through.

Preparation Time: 10 minutes

Cooking Time: 45 minutes total

Filed Under: Recipes Tagged With: chicken, kids, mushroom, parenting, quick recipe, white wine, working mom, working mother

February 29: Airplane rides

February 29, 2012 by Mama K Leave a Comment

Whew! Made the ferry! It was close. I’m headed into the city today to work 1/2 day and run an errand — my iPhone broke!!! I never realized how much I rely on it until it got “taken away” from me!

Highlights of the Morning and Commute:

Red woke up, got herself changed, and was a complete chatterbox this morning. I couldn’t believe it. She was talking, talking, talking, talking non-stop. About everything. About Twin Husky’s toy snake, about her outfit, about how she slept in her bed by herself all night, etc. etc.

All kids were eating out of new BPA-free bowls I purchased for them. They were excited since they are a bit bigger. I am excited since they are dishwasher-safe.

We investigated Big Bro’s owie this morning. The kids were looking closely at it. It looks big (and deep in some areas) but it looks clean. Big Bro was milking it a bit this AM but was finally able to walk around and said he would be OK to ride his bike today. He was back on track, and I gave him a spare big band-aid in case he needed it during the day. I REALLY need to sew patches on his jeans. It is downright embarrassing.

We gathered our things to go, twins got their shoes on by themselves and were easy. Red was also easy, once she learned that I was also going to drop her off today. Big Bro had some issues when he was told “no bike” by daddy since it looked like rain. Big Bro threw a fit. Daddy said the Motley Crew wouldn’t be riding today. Big Bro refuted with “but you don’t KNOW that…. you don’t KNOW what they’re doing…..”. I was at a loss without my iPhone but I got the iPad out (thank you iCloud!!!) where I was able to text one of the mothers. They were not driving, not biking, but walking instead. We gave Big Bro the option to walk with them and he decided just to drive in with us.

Due to back up in traffic we were running behind. Twin drop off was fast, Big Bro drop off was fast, but we were stuck in school drop off traffic. Red drop off was fast. We made it to the ferry parking lot in enough time.

I’m on the ferry now feeling pretty relaxed and thinking about personal things and also what I need to do for work today. I NEED to get to the Apple store to get my phone fixed. For work, we have our first primary interview for our project, and I have to complete my review of the questionnaire for one of our forums. I need to spend time with outreach to the one forum, which I’ve been neglecting….

Highlights of My Working Day:
Man was I jammed!

I had a sales call for a potential participant for our meeting in April. He believes in the concept and is forwarding our invitation to Marketing STrategy who is more senior and a decision-maker. It was great news for us.

I then led our first primary interview for our client project. These kinds of meetings are always good since you really get a sense of the market — it’s not just reading an article or doing web research…. you’re actually talking with someone live who knows about the business and you LEARN so much in such a short amount of time. It was a great first call.

I then worked on the survey for one of our forums. There’s a lot more that needs to be done. I will be delegating this to someone who is coming back from maternity leave on Monday – so am thankful that I am getting this off my plate.

I also organized my thoughts around topics and agenda layout for each of the forums I will be leading in April. I’ve narrowed the focus and now have a sense on who to reach out to for speakers.

I debriefed my Partner on all of the above…. made great progress with him; he vetted the analytical approach we are using for our client project, and also gave feedback on direction for speakers and specific people. He is wonderful to work with.

I also stepped out at lunch to go to the Apple store to fix my phone. It was like turning on the “on” button. It needed a “hard reboot” which means hold down the circle button and the on/off button together, at the same time, for 10 seconds…. a FULL 10 seconds. That was it. Easy schmeasy. Saved me money today!

I’m on the ferry now, feeling a bit overwhelmed but happy to be headed home. I have some chicken defrosting in the refrigerator and am excited about seeing the kids. I heard from my mom today and she booked a flight out here for March 14 for several days and I’m REALLY looking forward to her visit.

Dinner and Bedtime:

I picked up Red first. She was busy with her teacher counting legos. She stopped counting when she saw me because she got shy. We then went to pick up Big Bro together. I wanted to know about his owie and how he did today. Then we picked up Twin Crazy and Twin Husky. We talked in the car about owies, dinner, and balls.

I went right to work as soon as we got in, defrosting chicken and thinking about what I was going to do with it. Twin Crazy and Twin Husky had socks on their hands (I couldn’t believe it but Big Bro used to do this all the time and so did Red…. what about you guys??? Did your kids do this too???). Kids were busy sharing a couple pieces of bread. Then it hit me. Homemade breadcrumbs! Chicken cutlets! OMG it was so good – very easy. I’ll use the recipe for tomorrow to share.

After dinner, I played airplane ride with the kids and Big Bro was laying down beside me with my camera taking videos and pictures of the kids while they were in mid-air. I love the fact that he did that for me – I wanted to capture the look on their faces as they look down at me as they’re flying. And Big Bro felt special, my little Director. He’s actually very good at capturing the moment and video-taping. We then went through the photos together and talked about which ones to delete and why (fuzzy, can’t see the face, etc.). It feels great to have my iPhone back in working order!

It was my turn with the Twins tonight. Big Bro is tired of taking turns and he keeps saying it. I suggested that maybe we keep a log of whose turn it is and he be the keeper of the log-book, and tell us who is on who. He didn’t like that idea. He said that he would just say that he was with Mommy each night. This broke my heart.

Twins were very easy going to bed. Quick teeth brushing, each got a book, then hugs & kisses goodnight. I whisper “I……. love……. YOU” over and over and they return it. It is our little game. So after the “I….. love….. YOU” we also say “sweet dreams” and “night night” until I close the door – and then I open it quickly for a few more and then close it for good. That’s it!!

I cleaned up from dinner, put away clean dishes, and started to get loads of laundry together.

Red had a hard time tonight. Daddy left her on the top of the stairs screaming for Mommy. I couldn’t take it since he just walked away from her so I went upstairs, sat with her and hugged her for a few minutes, and then held her hand as she quickly drifted off to sleep.

I’m in my bed now, tired from the day and exhausted thinking about the next steps of the divorce. I just want this over. I want my own space. I want the kids to be happy. I want to feel like my life is on the right track.

Til tomorrow –
– Mama K

Filed Under: Daily Journal Tagged With: airplane rides, conference calls, consulting, divorce, parenting, part-time, project, working mom, working mother

February 28: The first of many skinned knees

February 28, 2012 by Mama K Leave a Comment

Nutella “Chocolate Tuesday”!!!! There were no breakdowns this morning. All kids were cooperative and EASY!!!! I missed out on most of them last night since I had an appointment. I walked into the house into an eruption of “Mommy’s home Mommy’s home!!!”. I kissed and hugged each of the twins goodnight. Sweet dreams. I…. love…. you!!!! Big Bro was already asleep. Red was up and hugging me hard and smiling that I was home. I helped her with her teeth, read a book to her, tucked her in. She was smiling from ear to ear. I felt bad that Big Bro was waiting for me but fell asleep before I got there.

Highlights of the Morning and Commute:

Red and Big Bro were already dressed and ready. Twin Crazy and Twin Husky were ready for chocolate! All kids were singing Chocolate Tuesday Chocolate Tuesday Chocolate Tuesday…. even the twins. They’ve really taken to this weekly tradition. Twin Husky was acting goofy again and smiling with the chocolate and was acting so cute.

I talked with Big Bro about him being the “leader” during the Motley Crew ride into school. He told me the assignments of the kids and the days of the week. He will be leader each and every Monday. I asked him how it went and he said “fine”. I asked him if he liked being the leader and he nodded yes but didn’t talk much since his face was full of Nutella tortilla.

We also talked about his new book for school – their homework is to read one book a night and they are easy readers. There is a set of them that are so cute because they are small and square and the pictures just crack me up. So this morning we were looking at the book and all the kids wanted to see the book and the picture.

I packed up Big Bro’s lunch and had to hide what I pack. Otherwise he throws a fit over something if he doesn’t agree with it and I just don’t need that kind of argument in the morning.

We were all ahead of schedule. Big Bro was waiting for us to tell him it was OK to go over to the Motley Crew street. Red was putting on her shoes and jacket. The twins put on their shoes (and Red helped Twin Husky). I gathered jackets and blankets and Tigers. We were ready. He was calling for me and told me good bye Mommy! We drove the van around the other part of our street circle so we could follow Big Bro over to the Motley Crew. I wish I would have taken a picture of his face. He was riding so fast and keeping up with the van and laughing and smiling and having fun being on his own.

Now I’m on the ferry and thinking about work and thinking about lawyer bills and how the hell are we going to get through this divorce without going broke. We honestly cannot agree on anything. Something that should be so rational becomes a power-play. I’m glad that there is a mediator involved since we will soon reach the point where she has authority to make the decisions on our behalf. We need to do the same on the financial front. We need to get that process started ASAP.

I will be busy at work. I need to refine the materials that we will review with our client today. I need to work on the questionnaire for the surveys we will be doing and presenting on in April [top priority for today]. I have a status call for another forum but I am not excited about it since we are not getting ANY traction. Lastly, I need to start reaching out to speakers for both forums since that takes lead time and I am concerned that I am running against the clock – we have two months to go and I need to get the draft agendas together ASAP.

I’m looking forward to being in our new office. What’s for lunch today???!!?!?!?!?

Highlights of My Working Day:
OMG so busy!

The walk to the NEW office was great. Lots of people, walking by stores, restaurants, activity. And bars! Irish Bars!!! Yeah! I took a picture and later emailed it to the entire 15-person office.

I led a meeting with our partners on go-to-market activities for a potential new forum. I suggested just picking a date and a place for a “formation meeting” that way we can go forward more forcefully for participation. We could also go-to-market with the meeting date and place more prominent and talk about who has already committed to further prompt interest. I asked one of the newer people on the team to look at our existing materials to see if the message could be made more compelling.

I then switched gears and focused on deliverables for our client meeting today at 2 PM. I reviewed, edited the discussion document with our preliminary findings and also refined the interview guide (our first interview is tomorrow). They loved the work so far. We have to keep them liking our work….

I spent time doing outreach for another forum we are trying to launch.

I also spent time refining the survey instrument for one of our meetings in April. We need to get that done and fielded so we can have 2 presentations underway.

It was very busy, I felt very productive. And I am happy to be headed home. I have fish defrosting in the refrigerator and a lemon on hand so I am expecting a great dinner. Can’t wait to hug my kids and make up for lost time!

Dinner and Bedtime:

I picked up Big Bro first. I stayed by the van as he ran down to the other side of the school to pick up his bike and ride it back. I watched him run away from me, but he stopped two or three times to look back in my direction. There was a period of one or two minutes where he was out of my sight. Getting his helmet on, getting on his bike, and riding through the playground (probably in loops) and through corridors on the outsides of buildings and weaving in and out…. and then he came into my sight. He is AOK and having fun. He was having so much fun that he wouldn’t stop riding. He just kept going and going despite my calls to him. So when he approached at full speed I jumped in his path (big mistake). We crashed and he wound up with a scraped knee.

It was a loud ride over to pick up the Twins. And still a loud ride when going over to get Red. We were quick so we could get him taken care of back at home.

At home, all kids got shoes and jackets off; I quickly threw on some rice and put the almost defrosted salmon in the microwave to thaw. Then I tended to Big Bro – cleaning his scraped knee, putting on ointment, and then helping him with a huge bandaid and tape around the edges. This is his war wound. We both apologized to each other.

Dinner was great. Red ate most of the salmon. Big Bro was able to eat. Twin Crazy was showing us her belly. Twin Husky is in his “throwing” stage and he just kept throwing food, to our dismay.

After dinner I cleaned up and then got Twin Crazy changed into PJs.

Then it was time to get upstairs…. I got Twin Husky changed while kissing his belly and having him jump into the air and giggle.

I then took care of Big Bro and Red, per their request. It was a good night. They were both cooperative. We talked a lot.

I’m in bed now, feeling tired – feeling like I have a lot to do on a personal front but feeling like I just don’t have the energy in me to attend to it. But I should. So I will. I’ll call it a night for now.

Til tomorrow –
– Mama K

Filed Under: Daily Journal Tagged With: bicycles, divorce, new beginnings, parenting, part-time, working mom, working mother

February 27: Going places!!!

February 27, 2012 by Mama K Leave a Comment

Monday! I am so tired right now. Big Bro had a nightmare last night and he called for me into the “kid monitor”. I went up to him to console him, and each time he fell asleep and I would get up, he would stubbornly sit up in bed. For the life of me I couldn’t get out of the room. So I went downstairs to get my phone/”alarm clock” and took out his trundle bed and slept on the floor next to him. At least we were in HIS room and I resorted to this after a good 30 minutes of trying to get him to go to sleep. Mind you, this was at 4:00 AM. So, I’m tired….

Highlights of the Morning and Commute:

I was a bit slow this morning, as was Big Bro. I got him up in enough time and helped him to dress and had his breakfast ready and his stuff ready so essentially all he did was get up and get fed and get out. He rode to school with the Motley Crew today.

I helped to change a Twin, I forget who. I think it was Twin Crazy.

Red was already dressed and very cooperative.

I finished my photo project that I started back in early January when I moved into the guest room. It took awhile for me to get the frames, find the pictures (and the time) to print them out, buy hooks/ hanging tape, at a hardware store, and then finally start the process of hanging them up. The tape dried overnight so I hung the frames this AM with Red and Twin Crazy. I love it and feel like the room is now complete.

When I was upstairs helping Big Bro, Twin Husky made his way up the stairs looking for me. I loved hearing him calling for “Mommy” at the bottom of the stairs and asking “Where are you?” in his 2-year old kind of way. It was so cute to see his face popping up over the stairs and both Big Bro and I were laughing at his cuteness.

I took Red into school today. Despite our smooth morning, this is where the problem started. Her regular teacher was late this morning. So she was in a different classroom. We dropped off her baby and nap-sheets in her cubby and I positioned the baby so that she was sitting and comfortable and able to see the classroom around her. So we went to the other classroom to meet up with her class – there were some of her normal friends there, but I did not know the morning teachers – so it was REALLY strange for her to be dropped of in this way. And on a Monday no less. Monday drop offs are always a bit hard so this made it harder. I tried hard to get her to interact with her friends since they are obviously familiar to her. Talking about their shirts, talking about giving hugs, and then the tickle-monster came out and that seemed to work, temporarily. At this point I was late for the ferry so I had to get a strange teacher to help me pry her off of me.

I hauled ass to the ferry. I can’t be late as this is the last one in the AM.

So now I’m on the ferry, a bit over-tired and still calming down from the morning. I have serious work to do today. I need to get the status of the workstreams of our project first thing this AM, and push the market sizing analysis further – this will involve some creativity and I want to see if the team came up with a logical approach. I also need to finalize the draft primary interview guide as we need to give this to the client for review. Our first interview is Wednesday, I think. I will also need to focus on the forums in April – I need to look at the survey questionnaire and make some revisions so we can finalize it this week and start to get it fielded. This sounds easier than it will really be – I will need quiet alone time for this. Today is the first day in our new office and I do not even know the address. I will need to get that when I’m off the ferry and google-map it so I can arrive and get to work. So there will unfortunately be some distractions today.

Highlights of My Working Day:

NEW OFFICE LOCATION!!!! It was awesome to head towards a new office. I got off the ferry, bought a to-go breakfast, and headed West. I didn’t know exactly where I was going so I had to call the office to get the address. It is great! A new start! A change in pace! I was invigorated and so were my colleagues. Despite the furniture in disarray, boxes everywhere, and general confusion, all of the internet was working, access to the servers were AOK and phones were working. Miraculous! I had a very productive day.

I spent the early AM going through some outreach for speakers for one of the forums.

I met with my team for the client project to get an understanding of where we are in terms of work and what we need to do to prepare for our client touchpoint tomorrow. I assigned tasks and unfortunately I had to assign myself things that I don’t think I should be doing (e.g., interview guides, target lists, etc.). I sent out outreach emails to see if we can secure some primary interviews for the project; that way we can say with conviction that we are making progress on that part of the project. I also laid out analysis approaches to refine our market sizing work for discussion with the client tomorrow. I will need to do some work tonight, since the materials are not yet done and I want them reviewed by my Director before I send to the client in the AM.

I spent some time doing admin things like addressing random emails.

I received a text-message from a parent of the Motley Crew gang that said that Big Bro was the “leader” today. There are five of them and each kid will take a day. His day will be Mondays for now on.

We went out for a FABULOUS lunch. Our old office location was very, very desolate with not many lunch options. We are now in the heart of downtown and therefore have soooooo many options at our fingertips. I know I will gain weight here.

So, I was busy but I still have so much to do. I did not even LOOK at the survey questionnaire and I MUST make that a priority for tomorrow.

Right now I am on a train to an appointment tonight. I’m not sure what I’m going to talk about. So much has been happening yet so much still stalled. I feel like I am stuck and just spending money on lawyers.

Hopefully tonight when I get home Big Bro and/or Red will still be up. It is my night to read to them. They will be upset if I am not there for that.

Anyway, I must go now.
Til tomorrow –
– Mama K

Filed Under: Daily Journal Tagged With: clients, divorce, flex time, meetings, parenting, part-time, working mom, working mother

Staying Sane: Rest

February 26, 2012 by Mama K Leave a Comment

There are certain things that the body and soul need to refuel and recharge. Food. Water. Sugar. Chocolate. Laughter. Sunshine. Sex. Rest. I want to focus on the last since I did receive a lot of rest this weekend with and around the kids. There was also a lot of laughter and chocolate (but alas no sex) but I digress. 🙂

Having a job is hard work. They call it “work” for a reason. Having children is also hard work. When you have one child, every spare moment is spent obsessing about the one child – very little goes to yourself. Then number two rolls around, and by the time numbers three and four come into the world, the notion of rest seems elusive but honestly does become possible.

Saturday:

I spent the morning with Big Bro and Red. The sun was out but the air was cold. We decided to go to a playground in our neighborhood. I was still feeling down from the night before, and I also had to spend some time with Red in the middle of the night — so I was in a bit of a slow and melancholy mood. But I had the chance to interact with the kids to support them when they were doing something brave (e.g., going down the fireman pole on the play structure for the first time), pushing them on the swings, and organizing their snacks for them. But most of the time I just sat on the park bench, with my feet in the warm sand, and watched them. I let myself stray from their experience and became an outsider looking in. I let my defenses down and sat, and watched, and laughed, and stayed silent – not wanting to interupt their interaction. I sat on that bench for awhile thinking of things yet not thinking of anything in particular. I sat on the bench with my feet in the sand listening to the kids laughter and being thankful that at least in this moment they get along and are happy with their worlds. I sat, wriggled my toes, closed my eyes towards the sun, listened to their laughter, and of course had my camera phone ready.

During lunchtime we were reunited with Twin Crazy and Twin Husky. We opened surprise gifts from my mom (Nana) that included books and matching stuffed animals. The kids were thrilled for the animals and we read their books before nap. Twin Crazy and Twin Husky even wanted to sleep with their books in their cribs.

I napped while everyone else napped and did not feel guilty at all.

Sunday:

I felt more like myself today. I was woken up to the kids downstairs in my room at 7:30 AM. They know that we don’t get out of bed until 8 AM so it was OK for me to stay put. They tend to entertain themselves. But for some reason, all four of these kids were in my room and wanting to come up in bed with me and hang out, rather than play outside. Big Bro was the one that lifted Twin Crazy and Twin Husky out of their cribs. These kids are a pack and they were so cute this morning. It was a great way for me to wake up.

I had Twin Crazy and Twin Husky for the AM and took them to an interactive creative museum where they painted on glass, played with a funky kind of playdough called Blubber, and also jumped on waterbeds and laughed and got tickeled by me. I love the waterbed/lilli-pad area. There are lots of comfortable places for the parents to hang out and watch the kids and I even go onto the waterbeds and lay and play with the kids. It is calming despite the activity from the young ones. It is easy. You know they can run around and climb and not get lost, not get hurt. So again, I lost myself a few times in peace. Peace is not the right word…. I was not as satisfied as “peace” but not quite “sad”… maybe somewhere in between. Disappointed, run down, maybe just trying to recharge and not dwell on details of my life. Taking a pause to again just sit and watch the kids in action. Taking an outsider point of view and letting them go where they needed to go and then come back when they wanted to come back. Knowing they were OK. And knowing they would come back to me. So it was OK for me to rest and just “be”. But then I got my charge back and participated (maybe even caused) commotion and tickling and my voice was getting raw and I even had stranger kids coming over to me to get tickeled. I had to keep looking up to find the parents and ask if it was OK for the “tickling fingers” to get their kids too. At around 12:00 though the room became much quieter as other families were heading home. And my kids were jumping and rolling and staying down saying night-night. Then the stranger kids were resting and saying night-night. That was my cue that it was time to wrap it up.

They got up from their naps a bit too soon – for some reason Twin Husky was crying; so I took the opportunity to take them both down and we rested in silence on the couch – we were like this for a good 20 minutes until everyone else came home

So, there was activity and laughter and reflection over the weekend, and also a lot of REST. To recharge. To take a break. To pause and witness the kids smiles and laughter. And to see them be kids, and be kids with each other.

And in looking back at other photos in my photo-stream, here are some other highlights of recent restful moments with my babies —